Chapter 8

I hadn’t arrived at Nanking in any great style, but it was Pullman travel compared to the way I went, under hatches on a stinking Yangtse fish-barge, with two of Jen-kan’s thugs for company. I daren’t show face until we were well away from the city, white fan-quis being as common in those parts as niggers in Norway; not that I’d have been hindered, but Jen-kan might have had awkward explanations to make if it got about that Flashy was heading east ahead of time. So we spent a day and night in the poisonous dark and came ashore somewhere on the Kiangyin bend, where two more thugs were waiting with ponies. Farther down, the river was infested by gangs of Imp deserters and bandits (no doubt the Provident Brave Butterflies were spreading their wings, among others), and while the land to the south was swarming with Taiping battalions, Jen-kan had reckoned we’d make better and safer time on horseback, taking a long sweep to come in by Chingpu, where Frederick T. Ward’s foreign legion was preparing to have another slap at the Taiping garrison.

I don’t remember much about that ride, except that I was damned stiff after months out of the saddle, but I know we raised Chingpu on a misty dawn, looking down from a crest to the town, perhaps a mile away. It was wooded country, with paddy here and there, and many waterways – you could see the little mat sails beetling along among the dykes, ever so pretty in the pearly morning light; it would have been quite an idyllic scene if there hadn’t been the deuce of a battle going on round Chingpu’s high mud walls.

We’d heard the guns before we came in view, and they were banging away splendidly, wreathing the walls and gate-towers in thick grey smoke, while dead to our front great disorderly lines of men were advancing to the assault. To my astonishment I saw they were Imps, straggling along any old how, but in the van there was a fairly compact company in green caps, and I knew these must be Ward’s people. Without a glass I couldn’t make them out clearly, but they were holding together well under the fire from the walls, and presently they were charging the main gate, while the Imp supports milled about and let off crackers and waved banners in fine useless style.

Farther back, behind the attackers, were more Imp battalions by a river-bank, with a gunboat blazing away at nothing in particular, and about a mile away on my right was a low hill on which a couple of banners were flying, with a number of mounted men wheeling about and occasionally dashing out to the attacking force. Gallopers; the hill must be the attackers’ head-quarters, so it behoved me to make for it. I was just pointing it out to my escort when there was a tremendous pandemonium from the plain before the town, the boom of guns and crackle of musket-fire redoubled, the crimson Taiping banners were waving wildly along the walls, and suddenly in the smoke-clouds before the gate there was a great glare of orange light followed by the thunderous roar of an explosion.

That was Ward’s lads mining the main gate, and as the smoke cleared, sure enough, one of the supporting towers was in ruins, and green caps were surging into a breach as wide as a church. At this the Imps, seeing their side winning, set up a huge halloo and went swarming in to join the fun; in a moment the whole space before the breach was choked with men, while the supporting lines, throwing disorder to the winds, crowded in behind, blazing away indiscriminately – and that should have been the end of Chingpu. What the attackers had forgotten, or didn’t know, was that they were assaulting a stronghold commanded by Loyal Prince Lee. They were about to find out, and it was a sight to see.

All along the front wall it was like an enormous football scrimmage; there must have been hundreds trying to get to the breach, and more arriving every second. On the side wall nearest to me there wasn’t a single attacker, and now a banner waved on the battlements, a side-gate opened, and out came a column of Taiping red-coats, trotting orderly four abreast. They streamed out, hundreds strong, rounding the front angle, and went into the attacking mob like a scarlet thunderbolt. At the same moment, from the other side of the town, a second Taiping column completed the pincer movement, the black silk flags went up, and within five minutes there wasn’t a living attacker within quarter of a mile of Chingpu, and the whole Imp rout was streaming back towards the river, utterly broken. I never saw a neater sally in my life; as the Taipings broke off the pursuit and began to strip the dead, I reflected that it was as well Jen-kan wasn’t seeing this, or he might have entertained doubts about Shanghai’s ability to hold Lee at bay.

But you don’t dally on the touch-line when the game’s over; I wheeled my pony and made for the head-quarters hill, keeping well to flank of the fleeing Imps, with my escort thundering along behind. The gallopers and standard-bearers were streaming away over the brow, so I circled the hill and found myself in a little wood beyond which lay a broad sunken road, with what looked like a party of sightseers coming down it. There was a disconsolate chap in a green cap carrying a banner which he was plainly itching to throw away, a few stragglers and mules, two minions carrying a picnic basket, and finally, flanked by a galloper with his arm in a bloody sling, and a noisy cove in a Norfolk jacket and gaiters, came a sedan chair, borne by perspiring coolies and containing Frederick T. Ward.

I almost didn’t recognise him at first, for he was swathed in bandages like an Egyptian mummy, with his leg in a splint and a big plaster on his jaw, but it didn’t stop him talking, and I’d have recognised that staccato Yankee voice anywhere. The Norfolk jacket had just finished roaring, in a fine Dixie accent, that he didn’t know wheah Ned Forrestuh wuz, an’ he didn’t dam’ well cayuh, neethuh, an’ if Forrestuh had jest waited till the flanks wuz covered they wouldn’t ha’ bin cotched like a nigguh with his pants down in the melon-patch, it was downright hoomiliatin’.

“Now, you find him damned quick!” snaps Ward. “If he got out – and I hope to God he did – you tell him to get back to Sungkiang with every man he’s got! No, the hell with the gunboat, let the Imps worry about it! For all the good it was we’d ha’ been better with a canoe! Now, get going – Sungkiang, remember! Spitz, find the doctor – I want our casualty count – not the Imps! Goddam it, if only I could walk!”

“An’ whayuh the hell do Ah git goin’ to?” bawled the Norfolk jacket, raising arms to heaven. “’Lessn Forrestuh’s daid, he’ll be back at the rivuh by naow, an’ … holy baldhead, who the hell is that?”

I had reined up by the road, and he was gaping at me, so I gave a cheery wave and sang out: “Just a tourist, old fellow. Hollo, Fred – been in the wars, I see!”

None too tactful, you may say, but no reason for the Norfolk jacket to leap three feet and yell: “Cover him, Spitz! He’s a chang-mao!”

“Don’t be a damned fool, I’m nothing of the sort!” says I. “Do I look like one?”

“They do!” he roars, pointing, and I realised that Jen-kan’s four thugs were lurking modestly behind me, on the fringe of the wood, and there was no denying, they had Taiping haircuts.

“Hold your fire!” I shouted, for Spitz, the wounded galloper, was unlimbering an enormous pistol. “Ward, I’m Flashman! We’re friends! They’re not Taipings … well, they are, but they ain’t hostile! Call him off, Fred, will you?”

He was looking at me as though I were a ghost, but he signed Spitz to put up his piece. “What’n tarnation are you doing here?”

“Going to Shanghai,” says I. “So will you, if you’ve any sense.”

“He’s an Englishman!” cries the Norfolk jacket. “Like Trent an’ Mowbray! Ah kin tell by his voice!”

“I know what he is!” says Ward impatiently, and to me: “I thought you were at the bottom of the Yangtse! Where the dooce have you been?”

“That’s a long story. First, if you don’t mind …” And I turned and waved away my escort, who wheeled and vanished into the wood on the instant, like sensible lads. Spitz raised a great outcry, and the Norfolk jacket waved his arms.

“Savage is English, too, an’ he’s with the Taipings!” he bellowed. “Seed the son-of-a-bitch on the wall this mawnin’, bold as brass –”

“I told you to go find Forrester!” barks Ward, and winced. “Damn this leg! Spitz, will you get that casualty count!” D’you know, they went like lambs; he was still young Fred Ward, but he’d grown some authority, all right.

“Well, I swan!” He shook his head at me. “You back in British service, or what? I thought you said they busted you over that Pearl River business?”

“No-o, you said that, and I didn’t contradict you. I’m still staff colonel.”

“Is that a fact?” He was grinning, although the pale young face was pinched with pain. “And those four – were they on the staff, too? Oh, who cares! Come on, Dobbin!” He waved to the coolies, who heaved up the sedan again. “They don’t gallop, exactly, and I’d as soon the Long-Hairs didn’t catch up with me!”

I told him about Lee’s forthcoming advance as we went, not mentioning Jen-kan, and he never took those bright black eyes off me, although he winced and gasped as he was bounced along. When I’d done, he whistled and swore.

“Well, there goes Sungkiang, I guess. In which case, the hell with it, I’m going to France, and have a rest.” He squinted at me. “It’s pukka – that Lee’s coming?”

“Yes, and the less you say about it, the better. We don’t want him to know he’s expected, do we? But, look here – if you can’t hold Sungkiang, hadn’t you better pull back to Shanghai?”

“I’ve got a contract to hold the dam’ place!” says he. “If I don’t, Yang Fang’ll want his money back – and he’s my father-in-law! Anyway, your man Bruce doesn’t want me anywhere near Shanghai – I’m a confounded mercenary nuisance, old boy, dontcherknow?” He laughed bitterly. “The damned dummy! Why, if he’d supported me with arms and men, we’d ha’ had a half dozen Taiping places by now, and Lee’d never get within twenty miles o’ the coast! But all I get is Imps, and they don’t fight – you saw that mess just now? And I had to lay there and watch! Say, I sure hope Ned Forrester got out, though!”

I said, if Bruce wasn’t helpful, why didn’t he try his own American consulate, and he hooted and said they were even more timid than the British or French. “They’re all glad enough to hide behind us, though, preserving their darned neutrality – and counting their dividends! Ain’t they, though? Oh, I reckon not!” He lay back, gasping and stirring to try to ease his wounds. “God, but I’m tired!”

We were out on the paddy by now, threading along the causeways, and on either side the plain was dotted with groups of fugitives, streaming away from Chingpu – Imps, mostly, but a few in green caps, white men and little dark-skinned chaps who I guessed were Filippinos. They hailed Ward whenever we came within earshot, and he shouted back, although his voice was weak, calling: “All right, boys! Good for you! See you in Sungkiang! Pay-day’s coming, you bet! Hurrah!” And they hurrah-ed back, waving their caps, and trudged on through the paddy.

There was no sign of pursuit, and now we called a halt to eat and rest Ward’s bearers. The picnic basket proved to contain enough for a banquet, with hams, cold roasts and fowls, fruit, chocolate, and even iced champagne, but Ward contented himself with a loaf of bread which he ate in handfuls, soaking each bite in rum. The rest went in no time, for a party of green-cap stragglers came up, and Ward waved them to pitch in; they were Filippinos under a most ill-assorted pair, a huge broken-nosed American with his shirt open over his hairy barrel chest, who looked and talked like a hobo, and a slim little Royal Navy chap with a wing-collar and a handkerchief in his sleeve; Ward called them Tom and Jerry. And now came Spitz, trotting his near-foundered horse, with the news that Ned Forrester was slightly wounded, but that casualties had been heavy.

“There voss a huntret killed, and ass many wounded,” says he, pulling a cold fowl to pieces in his great hands and stuffing it down. Tom swore and Jerry tut-tutted, but Ward just laid down his loaf, closed his eyes, and recited the Lord’s Prayer aloud, while we all left off eating and stood about with bowed heads, holding drumsticks and glasses.

“Ay-men,” says Ward at last, “so we’ve got a hundred fit to fight. All right, Jerry – you and Tom make for Shanghai, tell Vincente Macanana I need two, three hundred recruits, and I don’t mean Imp deserters. American and British, Russki, French, and all the Filippinos he can raise; kit ’em out at the camp, ten bucks apiece to sign on – no more or they’ll take it an’ quit right there. Force march to Sungkiang – and see here, Tom, I want ’em there in three days, no later, comprenny?”

“Dunno, old boy,” drawls Jerry, shaking his head. “The well’s pretty dry; may have to take some odd customers.”

“Ticket-o’-leave men,” growls Tom. “Bums. Dagoes.”

“I don’t give a hoot how odd they are so long as they can stand up and shoot! That’s all they’ll have to do when Lee lays siege to Sungkiang.” Ward was looking more chipper now; he laughed at their glum faces and struggled up in his sedan to clap Tom on the back with his good hand. “No room for drills on the parapet, old fellow! Just bang and reload and knock down chang-maos like ninepins! Who knows an easier way of making a hundred a week, eh? That’s the life in the Green-headed Army!”

“Will t’ree hunnert hold the place, I ask?” grumbles Spitz, and Ward rounded on him, grinning.

“Why, how you talk! Easy as pie! Tumble over their black bannermen and they’ll run as fast as … as we did that first time we attacked Sungkiang. ’Member, Jerry? I know you don’t, Tom, ’cos you were blind drunk an’ snoring in the bottom of a sampan. Yes, you were, too! Oh, you needn’t smirk so virtuous, either, Jerry! Who ran the boat aground?” He laughed again, eagerly. “But we came back, didn’t we? Threw the Long-Hairs clear out o’ the place, didn’t we? And we’re not giving it up, no, sir! Not while I can lay in a sedan chair an’ give orders!”

Just listening to him, shot full of holes and chortling like a schoolboy, I could see Brooke on that rusty little steamer on Skrang river, slapping the table bright-eyed and urging us to sing, because we were only outnumbered a hundred to one by head-hunting pirates, and weren’t we going to give ’em what for in the morning? They were a matched pair of madmen, Ward and Brooke, the kind who don’t think a cause worth fighting unless it’s half lost to start with, pumping their own crazy optimism into their followers by sheer force of will – for now Jerry was smiling and Tom grinning, and even Spitz, the surly Switzer, was looking less sour, while the Filippinos were laughing and chattering as Ward joked and harangued their officers.

I can’t stand ’em, myself, these happy heroes; they’ll do for us all if we don’t watch out. Brooke damned near did for me, and F. T. Ward was just the man to have finished the job, as appeared presently when the others had gone off, and I said I must be pushing on to Shanghai myself. He lay quiet a moment, and cleared his throat.

“You wouldn’t feel like taking some furlough, would you … colonel? I mean … oh, fellows like Tom and Jerry are just grand, you know, but … well, it’ll take more’n pluck to hold Sungkiang, after today, and I could sure use a good man.”

“Come, Fred,” says I, “you know quite well I’m a Queen’s officer, not a wild goose.” Being tactful, you see; I’d sooner have gone on a polar expedition with Cetewayo.

“Oh, sure!” cries he airily. “I know that! I didn’t mean anything permanent, just …” He gave me his cocky urchin grin, so young in that worn, pain-creased face. “Well, you took time off to run opium, didn’t you? An’ this job pays five hundred bucks a week, and commission on every town we take –”

“Like Chingpu, you mean? My, how you tempt a fellow …”

“Listen, I’ll take Chingpu, don’t you fret!” cries he. “Chingpu an’ twenty more like it, you’ll see! Once I get rested up, an’ get a good bunch of fellows together, an’ lick ’em into shape –”

“Frederick,” says I, because for some reason I’d conceived an affection for the young idiot, “listen to me, will you? I’ve been twenty years in this game, and I know what I’m saying. Now, within the limits of raving lunacy, you’re a good sort, and I don’t want to see you come to harm. So my advice to you is … retire. The money ain’t worth it; nothing’s worth it. You’re lying there like a bloody colander, and if you don’t see sense, why, you’ll finish up under the paddy, sure as fate …”

“I’ll finish up in Pekin!” cries he, and his black eyes were shining fit to sicken you. “Don’t you see, this is just a beginning! I’m learning my trade here – sure, I’m making mistakes, and sure, I don’t know one little bit about soldiering compared to you! But I will. Yes, sir. I’ve got the most important thing behind me – a bankroll from the China merchants, and the longer I stay in the field, the better I’ll get, and I’m going to build me the Green-headed Army into something that’ll sweep the Taipings out of China! And then I’ll have won the Emperor’s war for him. And then …” he laughed and sat back against his cushions, “… then, mister, you’re going to dine out on how you ran poppy an’ fought pirates with Frederick Townsend Ward!”

I watched his sedan jogging away across the plain in the wake of his tatterdemalion regiment, and thought, well, there’s another damned fool gone to collect the wages of ambition. I was right – and wrong. He found his bed in the paddy, as I’d foretold, and hardly anyone remembers even his name nowadays, but you may say that without him Chinese Gordon might never have had a look-in. You can read about ’em both in the books, and shudder (I’ll tell you my own tale of Gordon another time, if I’m spared); for the moment I’ll say only that while Gordon finished the Taiping business, it was young happy-go-lucky Fred who broke the ground for him, and turned that drunken mob of green caps into one of the great free companies: the Ever-Victorious Army. Aye, Ward and Gordon: a good pair to stay away from.19