40
MORGAN
Ruby doesn’t say anything for a long time, and I shift from foot to foot, not entirely sure if she’s happy to see me or not. But her speech, her speech said “love.” I slide my grip from her wrist to her hand, rubbing small circles into her skin with my thumb.
“Hi, yourself,” she finally says softly. Her face is a mixture of joy and apprehension. “What are you doing here?”
“I was trying to pull off a grand gesture, but nothing can top what you just did.”
“In fairness, I didn’t plan it,” Ruby says, her voice filled with nerves. “So I don’t know if it counts.”
I let out a little laugh. “It definitely counts.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I say, and a hesitant smile breaks across her face. “But—”
Ruby’s smile disappears. “But?”
“But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I want you to know I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”
“Can I kiss you?” Ruby asks, and that shuts me right up. “Because I really want to kiss you.” I nod so hard she laughs.
“I’d like that.” I barely have a chance to get the words out before her mouth is on mine, soft and reverent, the beads of her bodice scraping against my tank top, and please, please, please let this moment last forever.
“I missed you too,” she says, leaning her forehead against mine, both of us breathing a little harder in the quiet of this secret space I found. “I tried to text back, but I got called onstage before I could finish.”
“Thanks for the note,” I say, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “And the speech. It was—”
“Too much?”
“No, it was—”
“Over the top?”
I gently put my hand over her mouth. “I was going to say ‘amazing.’”
“Thanks,” Ruby says.
“I’m sorry you didn’t win. You deserved it. You worked so hard.”
Ruby grins. “I still got the scholarship, though.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Oh my god! That’s huge.”
“Uh-huh,” she says, absolutely radiating with happiness. “I’ll have you know that you are looking at the sixth-place finisher for Miss Teen Portwood County. That’s a big deal, you know. If the five girls in front of me suddenly drop dead, then I assume the duties of the crown.”
“Wow.”
“I know. I might have to, like, cut the ribbon on an ice-skating rink one day or something.”
“Oh, shut up,” I say. “You did it! You’re going to the automotive program!” I throw my arms around her without thinking but then quickly step back.
Ruby frowns. “Why’d you stop?”
“Am I allowed to hug you? I don’t . . . What are the rules here? Like, you kissed me, so I thought . . . But then . . .”
“Depends,” she says with a little smirk.
“On?”
“On what your grand gesture was going to be.”
“Um,” I say, waving my hand around us, “kind of this?”
“Hiding backstage with me?” she asks, scrunching up her eyebrows.
“Sort of.” I wince. “I was hoping to, like, stealthily lure you into a private place and—”
“Holy shit. Was your whole ‘grand gesture’ to make out with me in some dark corner?”
“When you say it like that . . .” I say, blushing furiously.
Ruby straight-up cackles. “That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Shut up.”
“No, really, I respect it. Total power move.”
I push her shoulder, trying not to laugh along with her. “It wasn’t just the making out, although I had hoped. I also wanted to let you know that I know I was wrong. I get that our circumstances are different, and if I have to wait, if we need to keep things quiet . . .” I look at her, wanting her to see how much I mean this. “You are absolutely worth it. I’ve been more miserable these past few weeks without you than I could ever be with you. I don’t want to lose you. I love—”
Ruby kisses me then, cutting off my words. “You are perfect.”
I smile again—I can’t help it—because this feels a lot like making it work. “I’m really not, but I’m here for you, and I want to be with you.”
“Good.” She kisses my forehead. “I think I’m gonna be crashing with Billy until I find my own place or I can get into student housing.” She takes a deep breath, looking nervous. “He knows how I feel about you, and so does Everly. But for everybody else, I don’t know how fast I want to . . . I don’t even know what to call myself yet. Bi? Pan? The label thing still freaks me out. I need time to catch all the way up to you.”
“You have it.” I kiss her face all over, not even caring that I can taste the foundation and setting spray. “We can go as fast or slow as you want,” I say between kisses. “Whatever we are, I trust you to set the pace.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nod, a sense of hope making my brain tingle until it feels like a full-body grin. “And if it’s getting tough, I’ll come to you before—”
“Hey, is your brother home?” Ruby interrupts.
I shake my head. “No, he’s at work. Why?”
“Come on, then.” Ruby grabs my hand. “I can think of some other ways we need to catch up.”