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Chapter XXVIII: Fear

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Lightmoon 10, 2604 R.M.  —  Avant City, Avant, Avántar

SIELLIS OLIRIS HAD not packed much in the way of supplies. She wore a long, flowing, white travel dress with a sash around her waist. Her chain whip was looped into it, along with a rapier she had forged herself. It was not too fancy, with a simple basket hilt and a steel blade in a sheath. It was not her specialty weapon, so she would only need it in a pinch. Her few provisions were stored in the small travel pack she wore.

Clarity sighed as she faced the castle that had been her only home for eighteen years. It’s good to get out of here, she thought. I don’t wanna be one of those storybook princesses who sits in the castle all day, sighing and waiting for her man to come home. I’m a woman of action. I’ll show my father. I’ll show everyone.

She waited impatiently for her companions. The sooner they got away, the less homesick she would probably feel. She had advertised her trip as a diplomatic mission. That was the only way to convince her father. Deep down, she knew it was her own curiosity, her own arrogance and her own hidden attraction to a certain member of the group that had pulled her into their desperate quest.

She could not stand the thought of never seeing Silver again, not seeing his amazing power, his prowess in battle or his silly smile. He had a rugged figure and a towering height, coupled with his handsome, exotic look, with his slightly pointed ears, flawless skin and entrancing gray eyes.

Not to mention the Ladris Unit. Those glowing blue crescents seemed to call her like a spider would entice a fly into its web. In just a few days of getting to know Silver, she almost felt addicted to his presence, like all she needed to be fulfilled in life was to stare into the unending depths of his mark.

She would never tell him that of course. Only Niri knew her secret thoughts, and she trusted the Syl psychic would keep his promise of privacy. Despite her excitement to get out of Avántar and truly see the world, she began to feel very small.

She sighed to herself. What in Sysanohf is taking those clowns so long? She could get easily frustrated when she was anxious. She had stood outside for nearly an hour, and still there was no sign of her new traveling companions. Just as this thought had come to her mind, she saw Silver and Que-Que walk out of the gate. Silver stretched and yawned, then began to walk forward. His face perked into a bright smile when he saw her and he waved his hand frantically, as if she had not made eye contact with him already. She saw the look in his innocent gray eyes: excited, attracted, obviously drawn to her in her white dress, but still ultimately naive.

At first, the way he looked at her made her feel uncomfortable. It had been easier to associate with him when he had been convinced she was male. She was used to men staring at her, but most of them were driven by her money and power more than her looks. Even though her nation claimed to give fair opportunity to both genders, everyone knew the King, whatever man Clarity was forced to marry, was the figurehead. Nobody even remembered the Queen while her husband was alive. She could see some attraction in Silver’s eyes, but not to that kind of power. That, and his obliviousness to everything romantic made him stand out far above her gold-digging Avánti suitors.

When he came to his senses, Silver moved forward again. Que-Que, in a happy mood, hopped behind Silver until he noticed a large purple blossom in the courtyard garden which he moved away to sniff. Searin walked out, in a surprisingly cheery mood. When asked how he had slept, he responded, “Not too miserably...” which, from Searin, sounded almost optimistic.

Niri was the exception. A grim glower overshadowed the Gil’an’s normally bright countenance. Silver came and stood next to Clarity. “What’s wrong with Niri?” she asked him.

“He doesn’t want to come because he can’t swim,” Silver said nonchalantly.

“So?” She did not understand why that would deter someone who had already come so far.

“That’s what I asked him,” Silver insisted. “You would never be able to take a Litheranti carto-whatzit down to the volcano place if you didn’t have some way to help him swim that far underwater.”

Clarity looked Niri in the eyes. The Syl did not meet her gaze. Niri, is it true you can’t swim?

Indeed, Princess Siellis, he said, bowing his head shamefully. My presence shall be only a burden. It is best that I not join you for the remainder of this journey. I was merely bidding my farewell. I shall be returning to my home now.

She put her hands on her hips. Niri, do you trust me? The Syl did not answer. Do you trust me?

Indeed, Princess Siellis, he admitted. You have let me access your deepest thoughts. So few would do that for someone they hardly know. I trust you.

Do you trust you’re safe with me?

Niri looked her in the eyes and nodded. Indeed. I trust you do not intend to do me harm. His face looked a little distant, thinking about something else but not expressing it. If she did not know better, she would have thought Niri was afraid of something more serious than water.

She smiled at him. I promise we’ll keep you safe, she thought.

Niri grimaced. Do not make promises you cannot keep, he scolded.

Okay then, she thought. Instead, I promise we’ll do our best to keep you safe. We need you, Niri. You’re an integral part of Team Silver.

Niri nodded. I will not be selfish. I will swallow my fears to be the best ally I can for you, Princess Siellis.

Just Clarity is fine, she reminded him. I won’t be a Princess again until I come back home. She shrugged. That is, unless I come back home.

Niri shook his head this time. Leave the predictions to the psychic, he reminded her. There may yet be a third option that involves much more than running away from duty or marrying an Avánti noble you do not love. Much more.

What do you know, Niri? she asked honestly, wondering if maybe Niri had received a vision of her destiny.

Much, he answered reluctantly. Including this: for your sake and for Derith’s, I shall come, Princess Siellis.

********

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AS THEY JOURNEYED THROUGH the miry maze that was the Jairna River, Siellis Oliris had considerable time alone with her thoughts. She had brought copies of a few classic adventure novels with her, to give her courage. When Silver asked her if he could borrow some of the books, Searin scoffed, “Fancy yourself the team’s linguist now, huh? Trying to put me out of a job?”

Clarity glared at the pessimist. Few books in Avánt were written in her native tongue. The language was dying, and she knew it. Conveniently, all but one of her books were written in Humanic to begin with, so she gave Silver one of them to peruse for himself.

He stayed up each night to bore into the book’s pages. True, they were novels, but Silver read them to find nuggets of truth hidden within the stories. He was always excited to talk about what he had read. Her father taught her that Litheranti hated to learn, but from what she could see from Silver, he wanted nothing more than to absorb all the information he could.

Clarity took them on a winding path following a thin outlet of the river which led to the ocean. On the six-day journey, Clarity kept her distance from the others. At night, she demanded use of their tent, while the other four slept on the marshy ground. Silver did not mind sleeping outside and usually greeted the request with a smile. Searin was especially frustrated by this special demand, but Silver was able to convince him it was only proper for the Princess to have the royal treatment. Searin would then mutter that Clarity was no longer the Princess, at least not in name, but he backed off at Silver’s request.

On the fifth day, Clarity began to notice something: she thrilled whenever she watched Silver transform. It excited her. She got an unusual but exhilarating feeling whenever he changed into something she had never seen before. His transformations give him special abilities, extraordinary strength... strong muscles... No! I can’t like Silver! She reminded herself. It looks like I’ll have to sever our relationship once and for all! From then on, she looked for any opportunity she had to make him stop liking her so, just maybe, she would stop liking him.

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DERITH SYLVARADO, QUE-Que and Niri had just walked back from a food-gathering expedition. What could have taken Silver days before he became Ladrian, his powerful senses and those of the Queserion had cut down to less than two hours. While the monster could easily hunt on his own, Silver was itching to show off his hunting skills and Niri wanted to make sure the food was edible for his unique Syl palette.

Que-Que’s jaws were clamped around a large deer with an arrow in its neck, and Niri carried a basket of ripe plums. He intended to mash the fruit up and roll the meat in it before it cooked to give it a kind of glaze. Silver just shuddered. Niri’s a great guy, but his eating habits are nauseating, he thought.

Derith, I am a mind reader, if you will recall, Niri snapped back.

I remember, Silver said. That’s why I thought it.

As Clarity walked up to Silver, he again became caught in her enchanting gaze. Niri rolled his eyes and walked away. Que-Que flew toward the fire Searin had built and gave him the deer to skin and cook.

“How was it?” she asked. “The hunt, I mean.”

“Great!” he replied. “This time, I didn’t hit a person when I shot the deer. I almost got eaten though...”

“Eaten?” she echoed in wry amusement.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “I turned into a berry bush. I noticed there aren’t very many around here. I thought it might be good bait for the deer. Turns out, I was right... sort of. It started off by going right for the branches.”

Clarity smiled awkwardly as if about to giggle. She maintained her cool, until Silver startled her. “So,” he asked suddenly, making her jump. “How has everything here with Sergeant Sunshine been?” he asked, pointing at Searin. “Did you miss me?” He made a pouty, hopeful face.

Niri’s voice rang in his head like a church bell. Derith! Princess Siellis is royalty! Treat her with due respect.

Silver glared in the Syl’s direction. I know how to talk to women, okay pal. Besides, you’re what? Fifteen? Have you ever even been on a date?

Remember, Derith, I am over two centuries older than you. I went to multiple dinners with multiple female Gil’an. It was something we did to pass the time. He then turned the question back around. Have you ever even been on a date? Answer me honestly. He raised his eyebrow mockingly at Silver.

He paused. He was just talking big. He was not even sure he liked girls yet, although Clarity was startlingly striking. The way her skin glistens in the sun like water in... No! he yelled at himself. I don’t even like girls yet! I’ve never been on a date, and that’s how it stays.

Exactly, Niri stated in an authoritative way. You have never been on a date and therefore do not have the necessary experience to continue this conversation. Princess Siellis deserves your respect Derith. You must learn to give it to her.

The entire conversation with Niri did not last very long. Even still, Clarity began to look uncomfortable with the silence and spoke up. “Silver... I’ve been wondering...” she began. “How old are you and Searin?”

“I’m twenty,” he replied eagerly. “I’ll be marriage age in about three months.” He wondered to himself why he had been so inclined to shoot off that tidbit when he had no interest in marriage. “And if I understood you right, you’re eighteen?” After a few seconds he hastily added “Your highness?”

She smiled, then said formally yet mocking such formality, “Yes. The ‘anniversary of my birth’ was two months ago. My father promised to find me a husband as soon as I became ‘marriage age’. Fortunately,” she paused and bit her bottom lip. “I mean... uh... unfortunately, he hasn’t yet.” She made a sound Silver perceived as a sigh of relief. “What about Searin? Is he younger?”

“Actually, Searin’s about twenty-five,” Silver replied. He then smirked and added, “He’s just really short. Everyone seems to think he’s a kid who can grow facial hair.” Clarity did giggle this time. She cupped her hand over her mouth and breathed deeply.

Silver’s mind wandered as he stared at the gorgeous Princess. He began to wonder what his children would look like if they were half-Avánti. Clarity must have sensed something, because she began to talk to him again on a subject apart from marriage. “So, Silver, I’ve watched you turn into all kinds of creatures, from a Mercury Dragon to a golden eagle. There’s just one thing you can’t turn into.” Her emphasis made it come across as a challenge.

Silver laughed. “Not true, fair lady,” he said dramatically. “There isn’t anything I can’t become.”

Clarity shook her head. “Yes, there is.” She smiled wickedly. “You can’t turn silver, Silver.”

He cracked a sarcastic smirk. “Watch me.” He snapped his fingers and turned instantly into a massive elephant with tusks as long as swords.

Clarity laughed. “That’s gray. Close, but silver’s a little shinier.”

Silver glowed and in the pachyderm’s place stood a majestic heron. “Denim,” she retaliated. “Not even close.”

Silver tried a number of other transformations. Each time, Clarity would shake her head. After a dozen or more attempts, Silver transformed back to normal. Clarity turned her back on him. “Come on! You can’t even turn your favorite color! Some shapeshifter!” She whipped her long black hair at him and swaggered away.

Silver walked slowly back to the camp. He knew he could not turn silver. Truthfully, he could not transform into a wolf either. He had discovered both of those holes in his power during the first week of training with Searin. Searin said an inability to turn into a certain form often meant that form held the Ladrian’s greatest strength. His problem was not the inability to transform into a silver wolf. The issue was being called out on it, especially by an attractive woman.

He passed Niri who was busy drinking a pulpy orange drink from a deer hoof. Niri stared at him, beaming. I believe, Derith, this is where I, as your youthful companion of the same sex, am all but obligated to laugh mockingly and emphatically declare, “You just got rejected!” Niri’s matter-of-fact tone made Silver even more annoyed. He was so frustrated he did not notice Clarity staring at him from the tent window, a tear streaking down her faint, blue cheek.

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DERITH SYLVARADO WOKE suddenly in the middle of the night. His heart was pounding and his palms were sweating. A vision opened in front of him. He could not tell if he was dreaming or awake. He saw a red cloud floating overhead. It rained, the water falling like drops of acid, burning all in its path. Silver stood on a blue mountain and fired arrow after arrow at the cloud, but it had no effect. Clarity, Searin and Niri stood beside him as the cloud came overhead.

A bolt of red lightning fell and struck Niri, who vanished like smoke. Searin vaporized and was absorbed into the cloud. The cloud transformed into a golden crown which, in turn, absorbed him and Clarity into a never-ending vacuum. In the background, the sound of a deep, menacing laugh shook the air.

He blinked fully awake. The dream had been so real he wondered if it had come from Niri, but the Gil’an was sound asleep.

“Wow,” he said to himself, breathing slowly in an attempt to stop his shaking. “That was a really realistic dream. I wonder what it means...”

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THE NEXT DAY, THEY reached a large barn. Inside was nothing except for a row of large bumpy objects hidden under a white sheet. “What are those things?” Derith Sylvarado inquired.

Clarity smacked her forehead. “Silver, we’ve been over this. These ‘things’ are called Elsuor Pods. We made them to transport Humans and Syl from one side of the Userian Ocean to the other. After they’re used, they come back here where some of our men stock them up for the next run.”

“Stock? Run?” Silver understood the words. He thought it might come across as cute and clever to feign ignorance. He had no idea why he was doing it, though.

“Yes,” Clarity replied. “They come with about seventy days of food, water and oxygen.”

“Oxy-who?” Silver asked.

“That’s what people smarter than bricks call breathable air,” Searin snapped.

Clarity continued. “They’re each equipped with about twenty torpedoes...”

Silver raised his hand. “What are those?” he asked, blinking bewilderedly.

“Megaton aqueous missiles that home in on the heat trail of the target and deliver concussion explosions upon contact,” she answered resolutely.

“Huh?” Silver had no idea what she just said, or at least, he wanted to pretend he had no idea.

Searin groaned. Looking at Silver, he answered bluntly, “They follow bad guys underwater and make them go boom.”

“Oh.” It made so much more sense now. “Why didn’t she say that?”

“She did.” He hit himself in the forehead too.

“Anyway!” Clarity drew the attention back to her. “Torpedoes, sonar...” Silver raised his hand. “Silver, sonar is...” she paused. “How would you explain it, Searin?”

“Normally, I’d say sonic waves that reverberate off undersea targets and return the coordinates on a two-dimensional plane. But for Silver... I’d say it’s a machine that makes a ‘ping’ sound to tell you where stuff is.” Silver put his hand down.

Clarity rolled her eyes. “Torpedoes, sonar and a special invention called the Hypothermic Entropy Decelerator... Silver, let’s just say it’s a doohickey that makes stuff cold.”

“Could it make me cold?” He had a big grin on his face and he did not even know why.

She squinted her eyes and puckered her lips. “Yes,” she answered bluntly.

“Can we call it a thingamabob instead?” Silver asked eagerly. “That’s a fun word to say!”

“Fine!” She groaned, raising her hands into the air. “It’s a thingamabob that makes other thingamabobs cold! Happy?” He smiled and held two thumbs up.

“Okay,” she said quickly. “End of introduction. Searin, thanks for your help. Niri, Que-Que, you two share a pod. Niri will control it, Que-Que will direct. Que-Que, tell Niri what I said. Any questions?” Silver raised his hand. “Anyone other than Silver?” Searin shrugged. “Okay, moving on.”

She moved the cover off the large objects. As he saw what was under the tarp, Silver let out a high-pitched shriek and fell to the ground.

********

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THE ELSUOR PODS WERE masterpieces of technological construction. They were simple, compact, and well equipped. And, to assist land dwelling peoples in swimming, they were conveniently designed in the shape of giant frogs.

As Derith Sylvarado came to his senses, he saw Clarity bending over him. She looks so good in that white dress.

He stared at her as she brought him out of his stupor by asking sternly: “What’s wrong with you?”

He stood up slowly and shook off the dizziness he felt. After walking a few steps toward the Elsuor Pods, his face turned pale and he quickly looked away. “I’m... I’m not going with you,” he stuttered.

Clarity clenched her fists. “What! The main reason we’re going this way is to get you to Stracht!” she insisted.

“E-e-even still!” he said, turning his head sharply away from her. “I-I-I can’t go with you.” He shook his head back and forth in a most frantic gesture. “I can’t. Nope. Can’t. Just can’t. You all go on without me. I can’t go.”

Clarity turned to Searin. “What’s wrong with him? It’s like he’s having a panic attack.”

“Silver, can I tell her?” he asked calmly.

Silver spun around quickly, shaking his hands. “No. No! No, Searin! You promised you wouldn’t! Don’t!”

“Too bad, I can’t resist.” He cleared his throat to make a proclamation. “Silver is not as he seems. On the outside, it appears my colleague is afraid of nothing. Some say he’s the bravest man they’ve ever met. Some say he’s too dimwitted to register fear. Either way, they’re all wrong. Silver has a deep, dark secret fear known only to a few.”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” Silver protested.

“That’s a crock, Silver, and we both know it.” Searin chuckled sadistically and turned to Clarity. “Our fearless friend here is secretly afraid of...drumroll please... frogs.”

“No!” Silver screeched like a crying child. “Searin you promised!”

Clarity held back a laugh. “Afraid of... frogs?”

“Searin! Drop it! Now!”

“Actually,” Searin shook his head. “He’s not afraid. He’s terrified. Totally phobic.”

“Okay... quit while you’re ahead!”

“He’s not afraid of my people, and we’re like Humans mixed with frogs,” Clarity wondered.

“Ah, but you aren’t frogs,” Searin stated. “Toads are fine. Tadpoles, no problem. Seamen are no issue. It’s just frogs. Give it warts or a tail or the ability to speak, he’s as calm as a summer’s day.”

“How did that happen?” Clarity asked, stifling a giggle.

“He doesn’t know,” Silver tried to defend himself, his voice cracking audibly. “Just stop talking now, Searin. Please!”

“Ah, but I do know,” Searin stated in his best storyteller voice. “Our story begins in the year 2588 of the Reign of Met’prys’syl on the 17th day of Thundermoon, also called his fifth birthday...”

“Searin, please! I’m begging you! Not in front of the Princess!” His hands were shaking only somewhat less visibly than his legs.

“He only got two presents,” Searin continued. “The first was that worthless, old, silver fivemark he’s worn ever since for no apparent reason. That was given to him by his explorer father. His previous expedition had been mostly fruitless, so that was the only present he could afford.”

“Not true!” Silver attempted. “We were...uh...too poor to give presents. Yeah! That’s it!” He fumbled to hide the silver coin under his artificial tunic.

“The other gift came from his father’s older sister who lives on the other side of town,” Searin continued. “You probably know her ilk: cheek pincher with way too much makeup and perfume who never got married and spends her life thinking of presents to give her relatives that turn out to be completely unwanted. She’s the type who would get a little boy a pink hair bow and think she was being the best auntie ever.”

“There’s one in every family,” Clarity nodded, understanding.

“Aunt Atha was only trying to be nice,” Silver repeated the statement he had heard many times from his mother. This further validated Searin’s story.

“This time, it was a mask in the shape of a frog’s head.” Searin stretched his cheeks to make them look more frog-like.

“Great story!” Silver attempted. “Now, can we just walk around the giant ocean? It’ll only take a few extra months?”

“He loved the coin, but he wanted to forget about the frog, so he hid it behind the fireplace flue in the living room...”

“It was a sitting room!” Silver did not realize he was further incriminating himself.

“One night, it rained,” Searin proceeded. “His bedroom roof leaked back then, so he had to sleep in the sitting room. He also caught a fever that had been going around town.”

“You weren’t even in Maresde!” Silver all but wept.

“The lightning flashes lit up the chimney and cast light down the fireplace, making the mask stand out and look like a monster’s face. He got no sleep that night. The next morning, he took the mask out to the other side of town and buried it. He’s never seen a frog since without freaking out.” Searin crossed his arms in satisfaction.

Silver wanted to crawl under a rock. Searin looked very proud of himself. Clarity smiled into the back of her hand.

Searin makes fun of me all the time... Silver thought. Clarity, on the other hand... will she not like me after this? And why do I care? The feelings were hard to describe.

Silver turned away. “Well, I’m still not coming. There’s no way you can drag me into one of those things!