| |
The snowflakes were those big fat ones that almost looked like bits of white paper falling from the sky. It had been windy this morning, but now the snow fell lazily to the ground outside. The sky was cloudy, but bits of a gorgeous blue shined through here and there. Emily stared out her window, watching the winter storm through fogged up glass, her thoughts miles away. Every few minutes her chubby hand would reach over and snag a piece of chocolate from the box in her lap. Her eyes never left the window as her fingers hastily popped the delicious morsel into her mouth.
She hated this holiday. Some people called it Singles Awareness Day, usually those who were angry and bitter about having no one to spend the day with. Emily was lonely, too, but her main reason for loathing the holiday was the sweets. Chocolates, candy hearts, and loads of other candies on display in every store she entered. Even the kiosks and vendors in the mall seemed to throw out displays of sugary yummies overnight. Why did they have to tempt an already overweight girl like herself? And why did she always give in to temptation?
She let out a sigh that only fogged up the glass near her face all the more. Pulling the sleeve of her oversized sweatshirt down past her wrist, she wiped the window so she could continue to look outside. Even recognizable objects, like the mailbox and the neighbor’s car, were becoming nothing but strangely shaped lumps under the snow outside. It was no big surprise that they had cancelled school and for that, Emily was glad. She enjoyed school, enjoyed her teachers and classes. She even had a good amount of friends for a chunky girl with rather plain features. But no school today meant no watching candy being passed from hand to hand. No sickly displays of affection from couples. No balloons received from parents and relatives. No flowers and cards.
Okay, so maybe she was bitter and lonely after all.
She was just reaching for the last of the chocolates when she spotted a figure moving outside. Someone was out walking in the snow. She made a hmph sound in her throat and shook her head slightly. What kind of fool would be out in this weather? It was too cold, too easy to slip, and too easy to smack into something unseen, hidden under the snow. Not to mention, the danger of massive icicles falling on your head. The person had their arms wrapped around their middle, walking across the street where the sidewalk was supposed to be. Emily could just imagine snow and ice from the trees lining the sidewalk plummeting down on the person. She almost wanted to throw the window open and yell at them for being an idiot. Then again, that would mean letting the cold and snow inside. Oh well, maybe they didn’t have far to go.
She continued to watch and soon realized that the figure was a boy. The way he walked gave it away, as well as the cut of his dark coat and black boots. The face was covered by a thick blue scarf and a hat pulled low, but she was sure it was a boy about her height. Was it someone she knew?
Then Emily recognized the hat and coat and she was leaping up from her spot by the window, tossing the nearly empty box from her lap to her desk. When he crossed the street and headed towards her house, she knew for sure.
Oh, why today? She was wearing sweatpants with a hole in the thigh and a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt that had noticeable grease stains in more than one spot. Her dark hair was a limp mess and her feet were covered in thick purple socks. She looked like a mismatched bum. Finger-brushing her hair, she power walked out of her bedroom and down the hallway. Snagging a piece of gum from her purse on the way (chocolate always made her breath smell horrible), Emily rubbed a finger over her front teeth, in case they looked fuzzy. She had just reached the front door when the first knock sounded. Sucking in a breath and letting it out slowly, Emily opened the door.
“Hello, Mike. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, uh...” he stammered a bit at her question. “I just came by to see you for a few minutes. I should have called, I guess. If it’s a bad time...”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Get in here before you freeze to death,” Emily said. She grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat and dragged him inside, thankful to close the door on the frigid cold. She nodded toward the coat rack. “Make yourself comfortable. I can do some instant hot chocolate if you like?”
“Oh, sure. Thanks, doll.” And just like that, his momentary nervousness was gone and he was the Mike she had always known. The attractive but slightly messy jokester she had called friend for years. Being the dear friend that he was, he didn’t comment on her attire as he began stripping his outer layers off. Emily smiled to herself as she made her way to the kitchen. She had always loved the way Mike called her doll. His term of endearment made her insides flop around, even now.
As she heated the water in a pot and searched the cupboard for the box she needed, Mike entered and sat down at the bar that faced into the kitchen area. It was his usual spot when he came by. “Where’s your pops?”
“They called him in to work.” Emily’s father worked at a dairy processing plant just outside of town. She faced him so he could see her dramatic eye roll. “That company is udderly ridiculous sometimes.” Mike smiled and chuckled softly at her joke. He always laughed at her jokes, no matter how corny.
“He doing deliveries today?”
“I hope not, but I’m not sure. He said he shouldn’t have to work all day, though. He might be home early this afternoon. They won’t keep them after it gets dark, for sure.”
Mike nodded his understanding. No one wanted to be out once the temperatures dropped and everything began to freeze. He started running his thumb across the tips of his other fingers as Emily dropped the box of Swiss Miss on the counter between them. She recognized the movement as one of his nervous ticks and wondered at it. What reason did Mike have to be nervous? And why had he decided to visit her today? She was just about to voice her questions when he brushed his brown bangs out of his face and pierced her with his gaze. His slate-blue eyes were suddenly intense.
“Emily, I came by to talk to you about something.”
Something in his voice had her stomach turning to jelly so it could slide down to her knees. She knew this tone. This was something serious. She kept her voice cheerful.
“Hey, yeah, you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I guess.” He glanced away and Emily knew something was up. Mike had never been one to get nervous or weird around her, though sometimes she felt that way around him. Did he know? Had she given it away somehow?
She turned away under the pretext of finding mugs and spoons, but she didn’t want him to see her face. She had to school her features so he wouldn’t suspect anything. “What’s going on?” She hoped her voice sounded normal and properly concerned. It sounded high-pitched to her ears. Stupid teen hormones!
“Well, you know what today is.”
“Yeah, kind of a miracle we got to miss school. You know how I looooove this holiday.” Emily returned with two porcelain mugs, her grin bright and playful as she chewed her gum. Mike was still serious.
“Um, I was actually looking forward to school today,” he said.
Emily let her eyebrows furrow. Why was he acting so strange? It wasn’t like him at all. She set the mugs down slowly and when she released the handles and placed the spoons, his hands shot out and clutched hers.
“Maybe this is better, though.” Still cold from being outside, his hands were like gloves of ice over hers. She switched their positions so her hands were outside of his, rubbing them to warm them. They had held hands a few times before, in a friendly way, but Emily knew this time was different. Somehow, a part of her knew that what he was about to say was going to change things between them. The question was: was it a good change?
“Mike, what’s going on? You’re all cryptic and junk. Just tell me what’s up.”
“Okay, I... look, this is hard for me. I’m not good at, like, expressing feelings and stuff.” He was staring at their hands now as she continued to rub her fingers over his.
Emily’s eyes widened. “Feelings,” she repeated.
“Yeah, I, uh, I like you.” His eyes met hers and she could see the vulnerability there. The question. The fear. Her hands froze and locked on his with a death grip.
“Do you mean, as more than friends?” Her voice was like a squeaky mouse. Was he serious? Did he really feel the way she had felt for months now? Was it possible?
“Well,” Mike started but the sounds of a splash and hiss had them both glancing at the stovetop.
“Wow, seriously? Timing!” Emily grumbled and Mike chuckled. She reluctantly released his hands so she could go deal with the pot boiling over. Grabbing a pot holder and turning the burner off gave her time to collect herself. She just couldn’t believe it. This was it! Mike liked her as more than a friend. Her thoughts turned to last summer when they had gone swimming at the beach with his family and some friends.
She had bought a two-piece with shorts and a revealing top. Emily didn’t usually wear revealing clothes because of her weight, but she had liked the bathing suit and told herself she would rock it. But telling yourself you have confidence and actually having it are two different things. Once she donned her suit and met Mike on the boardwalk, she hesitated.
“Maybe I should have worn something else,” she said, her hands rubbing the soft contours of her belly. Showing such self-consciousness in public wasn’t something she normally did.
“What are you talking about? You look great!” Mike said. He flashed her a dazzling smile and grabbed her hand, dragging her down to the beach. That was when Emily started seeing Mike in a different light. She had always found him attractive, but she realized that he was also an amazing person. A person she admired. A person she treasured dearly.
Emily threw out her gum before bringing the hot water over. She carefully poured the perfect amount into the mugs. She didn’t meet Mike’s eyes and neither said a word until she had returned the pot to a cool burner on the stove and moved back to open her packet of hot chocolate. As she poured the powdery contents into her mug, the other hand stirring gently so it mixed evenly, he spoke up.
“Emily, I think you’re great. I’ve always liked you, ever since we met. And, well, the feeling just deepened over time, I guess. You’ve always been able to make me laugh and you’re kind to everyone, even people who treat you badly. I’m so comfortable with you. You don’t even care about my dyslexia, something people always pity me for.” He placed a hand on her forearm, his own cup of hot water forgotten. “I just, I want to have more with you. I thought today, of all days, would be the perfect time to confess.”
Mike paused to let out a deep breath and Emily realized she was holding an empty packet in the air, her other hand still stirring. His words had mesmerized her. Watching the way his eyes softened when he spoke of her, of them, had her face warming in a blush. Could this be real? It was like one of her dreams was coming true right before her eyes. Before she could let her mind get all mushy, she dropped the packet and spoon.
“So, you’re saying that you want to be my Valentine?” She quirked an eyebrow at him, trying to lighten his intense mood with the childish phrase. It worked; he laughed and took both her hands in his.
“If you’ll have me,” he said. The vulnerability gone, his eyes sparkled with warmth. Emily felt the corners of her mouth kick up. How could she help smiling around him? Dropping his hands, she stepped around the counter and pulled him into a hug. She had always known he was a closet romantic, but to wait to ask her out on Valentine’s Day was both cheesy and sweet. Just like her Mike. Her heart was doing jumping jacks in her chest. The feel of his arms around her, holding her close, was better than any gift of chocolates. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad holiday after all. She squeezed him tight and planted a kiss on his cheek.
“This answer your question?”