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Hannah
Life at Bella Acres had changed drastically over the years.
Even in the early morning light, changes across the barn and other outbuildings were easily seen.
Pausing mid-step on her way to the garden, Hannah glanced over her shoulder at the large rancher with its updated exterior, remodeled deck, newly painted trim and shutters. Since Drake and Stefanie had purchased the house, land, and ranch from Nate’s bankrupt hands, they’d refurbished so many things and returned the house to its former glory and beyond.
None of that could be considered a small feat considering the dilapidated conditions of the home. When Emma’s health worsened, the home had fallen into a sickened state. There wasn’t much Nate could do since he was gone trying to make money as a ranch hand just to pay the basic necessities.
But now... the home had found a splendor unlike any Hannah could ever remember. When her parents had passed, the home had been warm and welcoming, but still simple in its elegance. Stefanie and Drake had reclaimed many of the pieces Nate had sold to neighbors to keep food on his sisters’ plates.
Focusing on the past wasn’t the best way for Hannah to move on, to grieve.
Hannah sighed, turning back toward her garden. Her garden. Not Emma’s anymore. Stefanie wasn’t interested in growing things. She loved design and style and riding with the men. Cooking, gardening, and canning were so far out of Stefanie’s scope of interest Hannah often found herself doubting they were sisters.
Brushing aside a dew-spotted spider web glistening in the early morning light, Hannah enjoyed the quiet of the morning. Her feet rustled across the longer grass she refused to let Drake cut.
Her garden gate was old and rotten in parts. No matter how many times Drake offered to put in a new fence, Hannah wouldn’t have it. Her father had built that fence with Lodge Pole pine from the back part of their property before he’d had it selectively forested. He’d been so excited to create the garden area for Hannah’s mom and there was no way Hannah would let it get torn down. She couldn’t lose that part of them.
Living on a ranch, Hannah would have expected to smell evidence of the animals in the barns instead of the fragrant lilac bushes bordering the garden and along the outside of the chicken coop.
The rickety gate creaked as Hannah pushed it open. She pushed her bucket ahead of her through the slight opening. The gate didn’t open all the way. Between rusted hinges and an over-grown Lovage plant, the gate wouldn’t open enough for more than an effort to squeeze through.
Yet Hannah wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Settling the bucket into the groove of her waist just above her hip, Hannah deftly picked at the large red berries. She’d been neglecting them the last couple days and they were going to make her work for it that morning. She glanced down the tall row of sagging raspberry bushes, smiling wryly. “Oh, Emma, look at what we made.”
Hannah jerked her gaze back to the berries at hand and blinked away tears that seemed to be so close to the surface lately. She’d started the garden with its plentiful berries with Emma as a way to boost their nonexistent income. When Emma’s disease had worsened, everything had fallen to Hannah.
After Drake and Stefanie took over and Nate left, Hannah could’ve stopped the small business, but it was the only thing which was solely hers. She couldn’t let it go. Plus, it tied her to Emma and she needed the connection so much more than she wanted to admit.
From behind her the gate squeaked, announcing the arrival of someone new.
Hannah swiveled to glance behind her and grinned, pausing to watch her brother-in-law, Drake, try to maneuver his large muscular frame through the tiny opening. After extricating himself from all of the clothing snags on various items poking out, Drake glared back at the gate and then turned to Hannah, surprised to find her watching him. He jerked his thumb toward the gate. “You really need to let me refurbish that.”
“You mean tear it down. No, thank you.” Her smile remained as she turned back to the berries, picking them as fast as she could and dropping them into the bucket. A solid thunk followed each time a berry fell to the plastic bottom. In seconds, the sound disappeared as the first layer filled and the berries landed on other berries.
Drake crossed the bark-covered ground, his boots making the sounds of whispers as he walked. He stopped at the end of the row, just feet from Hannah, and reached out to pick a handful of berries and pop them in his mouth.
A few moments passed in comfortable silence while Drake watched her. Then he spoke, his congenial tone a testament to their brother-sister relationship. “You’ve got a lot of work to do out here, squirt. Need any help?”
Hannah scrunched her lips to the side and wrinkled her nose. “You don’t have time to do it, you have new hires you need to deal with. Thanks for the offer.” She’d watched the influx of trucks pull in and park at the back of the barn all week.
Pausing in her berry picking wasn’t an option – even as she talked with Drake. She plowed forward, continuing to pick, ducking at intervals to grab the ones hiding under the leaves. The sneaky hiding ones were usually the sweetest.
“Are you still interested in doing the jams, jellies, and preserves? Stefanie mentioned you talked about getting bee hives for a while, but then dropped it.” Drake picked more berries, ambling along as she moved along the line.
“Um, well, I just...” What did she say to that? Right then wasn’t the time to share her hopes and dreams, not without Stefanie. Her sister deserved to know at the same time as Drake, if not before.
“Stefanie also said you’ve been asking her if she wants to take over the business. You know she hates cooking unless you’re telling her exactly what to do. What’s going on? Are you ready to give up doing all this for good?” Drake motioned his hands over the expanse of the garden and quirked his eyebrows at her. His easy smile made talking to him like less of a burden and she liked the comfortable parts in their relationship.
Even as much as she trusted him and adored him, she could never tell him that she was trying to leave. She had dreams and wishes. Nothing was going to be the same for her since Nate left. She would never be able to be completely happy there at Bella Acres or anywhere near Taylor Falls. No matter how much she loved her family.
She didn’t answer his questions directly. Instead, she cocked a sad smile his way and avoided his gaze. “You know, it’s almost painful how much you remind me of Nate.”
Her oldest brother had that steady strength about him and he’d been supportive of any dreams she’d come up with. The easy way they’d been around each other had been something she missed and greatly enjoyed with Drake.
Drake lowered his voice, all humor draining from his face. “Hannah, he’s not dead.”
Hannah couldn’t shake the anger that was always present. It simmered inside her, ready to mount to a boiling intensity at the drop of a hat.
The bucket slipped from her fingers, the clatter of the handle hitting the plastic side loud as she groaned. Bending, she scooped the bucket from the ground, leaving the few berries there that had fallen out.
After a few moments of silence, she blinked back her angry tears and murmured, “He might as well be.”
“I understand you feel that way, but I want you to remember something. As long as Nate is alive, he has the ability to come home. One day, he’ll change his mind. At one point, he’ll finish grieving and then he’ll be ready to come back to us. We need to be ready to forgive him and welcome him home. He’s important to use and, like it or not, he’s making choices that help him. We have to respect that.” Drake popped more berries in his mouth and fell silent as if he knew his words needed time to sink in.
“I just wish he hadn’t left. I miss him.” Hannah sniffed. She wouldn’t cry. No matter what. Nate wasn’t going to take her pride or dignity. Not anymore.
Another moment dragged on between them where he didn’t correct her or argue with the logic of her statement. Nate had abandoned them all after Emma had died. While the Montana Trails cousins’ lives had gone on, empty without their brother and cousin, they’d been forced to move on and find love while a huge part of them was missing.
Hannah arched her eyebrow at the next handful of berries.
Drake changed the subject. “So, yeah, you saw we got another batch of hands which is why I came out to bug you. Um, Cookie’s gone for the weekend – last minute trip because his sister found out she has breast cancer and she wanted a quick family reunion. So, well, he won’t be back until Monday...” Drake lifted his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes.
Hannah stopped picking the berries and looked at Drake with the innocence of a doe in her gaze. “Oh, wow, that’s awful.” She knew what he was trying to ask, but she was definitely going to make him work for it.
Studying her face, he pressed his lips together. “You’re going to make me work for it, aren’t you?”
She laughed at his exact use of the phrase she’d been thinking. “Yep.” She inclined her head and adjusted the bucket on her hip, waiting for him to continue.
He sighed and adjusted his wide brimmed hat. “Alright, brat, can you help us out? Stefanie said she’d do it, but the last time she made chili the men were sick for a couple days. She’s not as good in the kitchen as you. Can you run it and she’ll help? I don’t want to tell her no, but I also don’t want to hospitalize the new guys. We don’t need that kind of reputation here at Bella Acres.”
Hannah would laugh at his reasoning, if it wasn’t as close to truth as gospel. Stefanie wasn’t good in the kitchen and the last time really had caused food poisoning.
Cooking for twenty men wasn’t Hannah’s idea of hard work and keeping them from the hospital could probably be considered service in some aspect. “Of course, I’d be happy to. I might take you up on your offer to help with the berries, at that rate, though.” Hannah knew the men would be asked to help with the garden which didn’t bother her. At the rate she was going, she’d be there the next five years before she’d finish. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but it felt like it as the rows stretched before her along with meal prep and cleaning up.
Relief smoothed the creases at the corners of Drake’s eyes. “Thanks, Hannah. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the business. I can just tell you don’t want to talk about it.” He reached into his back pocket. “I got the mail and these were in there for you. I’ll see you in the bunkhouse later.” He winked and grabbed another handful of berries from the bucket, dancing away from her glare and chuckling.
Rolling her eyes, Hannah laughed and put the bucket on the ground while she waited to inspect the stack of mail he’d handed her. After he disappeared into the house, she lowered her gaze to the envelopes. Her stomach ached with anticipation. They hadn’t been to town in a while to get their mail at the PO Box and she’d tried not to think about it too much.
Some canning catalogs and an invitation to set up a booth at the local fair were the first things in her stack. Then, second from the bottom, was a white envelope with the emblem of a culinary school in the corner.
She dropped the rest of the mail to land haphazardly amongst the berries and to the side of the bucket in the bark. Swallowing, she fingered the edges and the corners. Her application had been sent out a few weeks ago. She’d sent it with so many hopes and prayers attached. Now that the reply was there, she felt sick with nerves.
Glancing over her shoulder for any onlookers, Hannah bit her lip and then pried open the envelope flap. No, wait. She stopped. She couldn’t do it there. What if she was accepted? Her excitement would be hard to conceal.
And worse, what if she was rejected? Her tears and depression would prevent her from doing her job. She had to wait until later that night to open the reply.
Plus, in all honesty, the anticipation wasn’t too bad since she had the answer right there in her hand. She could hold onto it, savor it.
Her dreams of escaping Montana were close to being realized. Was she going to be able to do everything she’d ever wanted? Or was she going to be stuck there as the youngest Montana Trails cousin forever?