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Gavin returned home from work as they pulled up into the driveway. He barely acknowledged Arlana as he walked in the door which was unusual, but not necessary, instead, heading straight to the back deck, her brothers following him like two puppies.
Adelaide had bought a pre-cooked chicken, yet she re-seasoned it, putting it back in the oven for another hour. The smell of chicken wafting from the oven made her feel faint, knees buckling. Setting aside the dish towel, Arlana walked over to the couch positioned by the patio. A soft breeze filtered through the screen.
Refreshing.
Isaac sat down beside her. "How do you like living in Ontario?" she asked her youngest sibling. She didn't expect his answer.
"I hate it. First chance I am moving back to Vancouver Island. I'm not sure how, but I'll find a way."
Arlana was surprised he shared his heart with her, after all, he barely spoke a word to anyone.
Adelaide joined them a moment later and he kept silent as though he had never spoken in the first place.
"We really should get together more often," Arlana broke the silence, "It would be great if our children got to know each other better. We live so close really."
Adelaide looked away. They'd gotten in trouble with Pastor Cookes when they'd returned to their church that Sunday months ago, Veronica ratting them out to their pastor for staying through the Jewish service. Lesson learned Gavin and Adelaide wouldn't make that mistake again. Adelaide hadn't expected to see her "heathen" sister so soon.
"I won't be going anywhere," Adelaide leaned back, "I'm not leaving Grandpa's side."
Jared walked into the room, catching her last sentence.
"Well, I have to head back tomorrow afternoon. I can't get any more time off work."
So it was settled. She would have very little time with her grandfather.
Gathering around the table, Arlana brought up the topic, "Do you think we could go back and visit a little more after dinner?"
"I don't think so," Adelaide's tone left no room for discussion, her decision final.
Arlana brought a fork laden with chicken breast to her lips and gagged. Humiliated, she squeezed behind her brother-in-law, pushing the front door open, her sides heaving. Struggling to breathe, she gripped the brick wall.
Embarrassed.
Re-entering the house, she sat back down at the table, apologizing.
"Are you alright?" Adelaide raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry, I haven't been feeling well lately."
"I hope it isn't contagious." Adelaide called after her sister as Arlana brought her plate of food to her son, "Grandpa is too weak to catch a virus."
"I'm not contagious." She returned to her seat. "Scent bothers me lately."
"If I didn't know better, I'd think it's morning sickness." Adelaide rose to clear the table. "I was really sick with each of mine. Any food scent at all had me sicker than a dog. With Isabella, I could barely get out of bed for the first three months, How long has this been going on?"
"A few months," Adelaide looked down at her hands, truly hoping Adelaide wasn't doing the math.
Adelaide frowned, "You should see a doctor and have it checked out."
Arlana was eager to change the topic. "Did you contact Jaira? Has anyone told her about Grandpa?"
Adelaide shrugged, "I'm sure someone will."
****
ALONE, AT LAST, SHE laid in her nephew's bed in the basement. She needed to reach Jaira. Rummaging through her purse, she unearthed her old cell phone. It hadn't been any use to her at home with no phone coverage, but here it would work, her fingers sliding over the keyboard, sending Jaira a text.
"Grandpa doesn't have long, Jaira. Do you think you can try to come down?"
Her sister replied in less than a minute, "I won't go where I'm not wanted."
"I think if you don't make an effort to come down, it will be something you will always regret."
Jaira ignored all other messages.
Arlana wished she had Lachlan's number in her contacts.
Josiah.
She gazed a moment at his name, then turned off her phone. He hadn't tried to reach out to her in months. She'd been forgotten or he simply no longer cared. Arlana wasn't sure what hurt worse.
Slipping the phone back into her purse, she turned towards the wall, dreading the dawn.
****
IT WAS NEARLY NOON before they left for the hospital with only an hour and a half before they had to leave for Brockville and they still needed to drop off Arlana on the way back. They were seriously pressed for time.
Adelaide paused near the elevator when her cell phone rang.
Their parents.
"Is everything okay?" Arlana asked, as both her brothers surrounded Adelaide.
Her sister turned her back to Arlana, speaking to the boys in just above a whisper. The ostracising stung, truth be told, but Arlana decided she would walk ahead and spend some moments alone with their grandfather. She had so much to say, so much to apologize for. So many years had passed since she had last seen her grandfather. Sure, it had been hard to find a way to visit him. Transportation was expensive, but in truth, she was without excuse.
Guilt.
That is what she was left with.
Her grandfather had trusted her many years before, entering into a business deal with his granddaughter. She had found a great opportunity and had shared it with her mother who in turn encouraged her father-in-law to enter into the venture. In two months, he was the only one who had made any money - people more interested in his handcrafted wooden trinkets than in her imported products.
Arlana worked minimum wage and couldn't possibly keep up, so she had left him not only with the rent for their store space but had taken his sales and re-invested the funds in products that never sold. She had run and hadn't looked back, leaving him hanging with their financial losses. She hated herself for what she had done in her youth.
Years later, shame had kept her from returning even as she reaped in measure everything she had sown in the past. Now, as he lay on his deathbed, where could she possibly begin? An apology could never convey the depth of her remorse.
Sitting on the side of the bed, she took his large, work-worn hand in hers. "I'm so sorry Grandpa." Arlana's words fell empty in the great cavern that lost time and the lack of care she had shown over the years had created. If only she had set her mind to be a better granddaughter, but it was much too late now. Each wheezing breath taken with the oxygen mask was a clear reminder that no matter how many tears were shed, she would never be given a second chance. Time had continued on without her. Now, time had run out.
Her grandfather patted her hand with his other one, "My love for you is like a tree. It doesn't matter what is thrown at it, a tree will never bend."
Tears pooled in Arlana's eyes. She swore she would never forget his words.
They'd had less than five minutes together before everyone else joined them. Adelaide spoke quietly with their aunt about her grandfather's condition. He was getting worse by the hour.
"You know," he began, looking into Arlana's eyes, "I had a dream last night. I dreamed that I had died and gone to Heaven."
A hand squeezed Arlana's heart much too tight. She'd heard some people have a premonition that they were going to die before their time came. Could this be it?
"I didn't have a halo when I got to heaven. I didn't even have wings!" he struggled to sit up in the hospital bed, indignant. "I turned to Saint Peter and said, 'If I don't have any halo or wings, I don't want to be here! I don't want to go to heaven!"
Arlana was at a loss for words. This was a big moment, her grandfather searching for peace. He repeated the moral of the dream, "I refused to go to heaven..."
Arlana looked at Adelaide, trying to get her attention. Of all the siblings, she was the most preachy. This was her moment to shine. Realizing how much she still was struggling spiritually she wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt, "Aw Grandpa, you are so perfect you are bound to have a halo when you get to heaven. It might be a little crooked though," she laughed.
Her grandfather's eyes looked haunted, but he lay back down upon the bed, appeased at least for now. He turned to Aziel, holding out a wizened hand, "Be a good boy okay? I'll be waiting for you in Heaven."
A sob escaped Arlana's lips. The secret of his impending death was unbearable.
Adelaide frowned, "Are you going to be okay?"
Arlana didn't answer, rushing to the washroom to hide the torrent of tears cascading down her face.