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Aunt Samantha entered the large washroom, reaching for Arlana's hand. "I know this is really difficult. The doctor said it won't be long now. His suffering will be over soon " she sighed, "It is good that he doesn't know what is happening. I think it would be much worse. Can you imagine how hard it would be to know that your time is up any second? He has been made as comfortable as possible and has had family coming in and out every day. Anna was here yesterday," she spoke of the eldest child and other than Arlana's father, the most religious of the siblings. "You should have seen her telling Grandpa, 'What are you holding on for? It's your time! Go home to Jesus!'"
"Wow!" Arlana understood where her aunt was coming from. After all, Heaven was much better than laying in a hospital bed, but to say that to her grandfather seemed heartless, especially in the ears of their unbelieving relatives.
"I know right! I wish she would just stay at home!" Samantha confided in her niece. "So, will you be coming back? At least for the funeral?"
"I hope so," Arlana leaned against the door frame. "My brothers have driven by several times to visit Adelaide and her family. I really wish they would stop by and pick us up. I'll talk to them but I'm not holding my breath."
Aunt Samantha nodded. "Relatives can be a funny thing. I try to keep to myself. Less drama. Well, I hope you can visit again soon. It is sad when we only see each other at weddings and funerals."
Adelaide dug within a bag she had brought. "Grandpa, I bought you your favourite - dark chocolate."
The elderly man smiled, struggling to sit up. "Help me up please," he asked Jared. Always so self-reliant - now having to depend on others for the simplest things. Deeply humbling. "I just love dark chocolate. Only one piece of chocolate is what you need every day."
Arlana couldn't help but laugh, "I agree. Just what the doctor ordered." The situation was rather comical. She loved chocolate too.
"It's true!" Her grandfather pointed his finger in her direction, "Dark chocolate prevents cancer."
The smile instantly disappeared from her face. Little did he know that no matter how much chocolate he ate, his body was riddled with the lethal disease.
"Thank you" she lowered her eyes to hide another onslaught of tears as he handed her a small square of the confection.
It was lunchtime and they needed to leave soon. He reached for Arlana's hand. "Don't leave me."
"I don't want to," her heart broke watching tears fall down his weathered cheeks. "I just have no way down here. Why don't you ask these boys to pick me up the next time they come to see Adelaide?" She none-too-subtly pointed out that her brothers had come down to Oshawa often, driving past her. Their rudeness was a big reason she rarely saw her grandfather.
"I'm going home ahead to start with lunch. I have to pick up my husband," Adelaide explained as she stood up, kissing her grandfather's forehead.
Grandfather, like Jacob of old, prayed over his eldest and favourite son's eldest son, asking the Lord to bless Jared, to enrich him. Arlana couldn't hold back the tears.
He lay back on the bed, calling out to Arlana as they left the room, single file. "Please lower me and shut off the light."
He lay still, arms crossed over his chest, a grey hue cast over his complexion. Arlana lowered the bed as instructed, feeling as though she were lowering him into the ground. She knew in her spirit she would never see him alive again. The next time would be his funeral.
****
A GREAT HEAVINESS RESTED upon the siblings as they left the hospital. Emotions were high, family bonds strained. Arlana and Isaac walked side by side.
Although much taller than his eldest sister, Isaac sniffled, unable to hold back tears. Jared jangled his keys impatiently as he stood by the car.
"I have to go to work. Hurry up."
He was too much of a man to cry - to show emotion after just having received his grandfather's blessing.
Jared sped down the streets, weaving in between cars while Arlana's heart raced. She prayed for Aziel's safety but he was too far back to be able to hold onto. What seemed like an eternity later, Jared swerved into the parking leaving black skid marks in his wake.
Adelaide didn't have lunch made yet, just tomatoes, a loaf of bread and two packages of bacon set out on the counter. Arlana washed her hands, offering to help.
"Sure," Adelaide turned up the heat on the stove, "You can cook the bacon."
She got to work slicing tomatoes as Arlana stood stirring the raw bacon with a fork. It began to sizzle, a distant yet oh so tempting scent wafting through the house. It had been so long since she had eaten pork. They worked side by side, making lunch. Arlana would have just a plain tomato sandwich - Aziel too.
Resist temptation.
Was it written on her face that she was struggling? Out of nowhere, Adelaide looked up, "Hebrew is a dead language. It died you know. This language the Jews speak isn't even the real thing. No one knows what it even sounded like."
Arlana knew the answer. Hadn't the scholars through the ages kept the language alive? William Tyndale, John Wycliffe - these great Christians of old knew and studied the Hebrew language as well as Latin. Hebrew was taught in Bible colleges and seminaries for centuries. It was lost to the lay people but was revived because now everyone can speak Hebrew. Yet Arlana pulled a blank. Tongue-tied. She knew the answer, but where was it? "Well, your pastor isn't even a real pastor 'cus he didn't go to Bible college. He isn't legally allowed to baptize or do the burial ceremonies or anything. He is just a missionary or an evangelist."
Why did she say that? She didn't know. That is not how Josiah would have stood up for his faith, tearing down someone's minister. Arlana jabbed at the pork bubbling in its own fat. She was ashamed of herself but was too proud to apologize and show her younger sister she knew she was in the wrong. There was a time and a place to be the bigger person and Arlana was sure it wasn't this moment.
"He doesn't need to be licensed or have gone to Bible college. The Scriptures say that you have no need that any man teaches you!"
Arlana shrugged, "It's illegal."
She sounded like a fool - knew she was acting worse than a fool. She really needed to back down, but so much bitterness had built up, the black tar of resentment over the years.
"You live in Ottawa surrounded by Christians - Dad's own family - but you are too good for them. I wouldn't want to be like you, stuck up on a pedestal in some kind of illegal cult. Even Jesus sat with publicans and sinners. How come as a follower of Jesus you are too good for publicans and sinners?" Arlana's words were barbed, but they guarded a torn heart, hiding tears from her younger sibling. "What about Jaira? Why can't anyone tell her grandpa is dying?"
"She needs to repent first," Adelaide frowned, "I don't want my children being exposed to smoking and drinking!" She avoided the bigger question.
"They are going to go into the workforce and see it!"
"I choose to protect my children!"
Adelaide could have slapped her in the face at that moment and it wouldn't have hurt so bad. Aziel had been subjected to Jorken's binge drinking and smoking for five years and she had done nothing but watch in dismay.
Adelaide was the better parent.
"Aziel was exposed to it," Arlana looked away, staring at the wall beside the stove, fighting tears.
"Because of choices you made," Adelaide rightly pointed out, but it still twisted her heart like the stabbing of a knife.
The slices of bacon were crispy and brown, yet Arlana still fried them with unseeing eyes, grease popping out of the pan in protest.
"Then how is it that such great Christians feel the need to block fellow Christians on Facebook? Disown their own family? Tell me where the heart of Christ is in these so-called Christians?"
Arlana wasn't naming names, but her sibling knew what she was referring to and who was on her list of high and mighty Christians who rejected their own flesh and blood.
Adelaide shrugged, indifferent.
"That's fine. Blood is on their hands," A tear tumbled down Arlana's cheek, making her even angrier. Angry with herself for showing weakness, showing the pain in her heart to her Christian relatives who had no heart.
Adelaide either ignored Arlana's tear-reddened eyes or didn't notice. She passed a plate filled with bacon and tomato sandwiches to her Jew-loving sister, "Pass these out."
Arlana passed the first platter to her brothers and brother-in-law. The second plate went to the children. Arlana knew she should make separate sandwiches for her and Aziel.
Gavin and her brothers watched her without taking a single bite. She passed one sandwich to her son, "Here, eat it."
Adelaide stood at the entrance to the kitchen. "Have one," she handed the meat-laden sandwich to her sister. Arlana was famished, but that was no excuse. She took a bite of the forbidden fruit, abomination coursing down her throat. It was so delicious she licked her fingers. A look passed between brothers and their sister.
Arlana had fallen hard and they knew it.