There are so many talented, compassionate people who drifted in and out of my life as this dream of mine—and my pile of shelved manuscripts—grew, and I have kept a running list since the beginning. Now it’s time to take that roughed-up Post-it and make it official. To everyone on these next few pages and the ones I have inadvertently forgotten, I want to quote a beloved movie from my childhood: I would have been lost without you.
Enormous thanks to Elana Roth Parker—my fearless, badass champion of an agent. Your wisdom and patience saved my sanity multiple times, and I can say very sincerely you surpassed all my expectations of what working with an agent would be like. You are the agent of dreams. Thank you to Laura Dail and everyone at LDLA—you are all rock stars!
Thank you to Diana Gill, who saw my story and knew exactly how to nurture it to make it sharper, stronger, and more vibrant than ever before. A huge thank you, too, to Kristin Temple, Charlene Adhiambo, and all the amazing folks at Tor Teen. You have made me feel like a welcome member of a family since day one and I am so grateful for all the work you’ve done for me.
Thank you to #TeamElana—Alexa Donne, Leigh Mar, Anna Bright, June CL Tan, Lily Meade, and Deeba Zargarpur—for the rants, check-ins, and support even before this book sold. Much love to the Stripy Tigers of SUISS 2014 and Mama Tiger, Ruth Gilligan, who gave me an international tribe of writing buddies that I could rely on any day.
Thank you to the Santa Clara Review—you guys are my family. Thank you for believing in me before I had the sense to believe in myself. Thank you especially to Professor Kirk Glaser, who always knew how to push my writing further.
Thanks to Casa 151, whose antics and love helped shaped who the Stags came to be; and to the women of Measure UP, who made my life into a real-life Pitch Perfect in all the best ways. I love all of you. Stay beautiful.
I could never forget everyone at Counterpoint Press: thank you especially to Megan Fishmann, for taking a chance on a wide-eyed intern and for being one of the best cheerleaders I know. Thanks, too, to Jack Shoemaker, Kelli Adams, Jenn Kovitz, Andy Hunter, and Rolph Blythe for your guidance and support during my time as a publicist.
Endless thanks to Bethany Onsgard, Deborah Kenmore, Kelly Winton, and Jenny Alton: you are my favorite canaries in the coal mine, and the brightest, kindest, and most hilarious coworkers a person could ask for. In the immortal words of a card I may or may not have once accidentally mailed to a very famous author: stay cool. And to Nick: I knew you were a rarity long before you were gone, and I am grateful to have known you as long as I did. I love you so much. I hope I’ve made you proud.
A tremendous thanks to Peter Gibbs, Drake Bonin, and Christina Estrella-Lemus—thank you for all the laughs and unedited hilarity, and for being sincerely kind souls. To Zach Waterson, I’ll forever yell your name and push people out of the way to hug you when you arrive at parties. Thank you for being you.
Thank you to “5quad”—you wonderful, weird, and hardworking bunch. Thank you for your enthusiasm, love, and constant check-ins about my book (and for putting up with me when my answer to the last of those was “UGH”). Shoutout to Jon Slocum, who made me laugh every damn day and who let me tell him about any book gossip I saw on Twitter. You are the best.
Special thanks to Samir Khanna, the Jack Donaghy to my Liz Lemon, for the honest talks and for teaching me that thing about time. Much love to Tasha Yglesias, Ari Jones-Krause, David Jones-Krause, and Sahand Emanian—I’m so glad I answered that Craigslist ad.
I would be a mess without the marvelous Natalie Grazian—we’ve come so far from the SCR office, haven’t we? Thank you for reading this book in its early form and letting me bounce ideas off you. Thank you even more for the sanity checks and for being one of the few people on the planet I can be totally real with.
So much love to “Moo” and Hannah, for being beacons of love and support since the start. I admire both of you and love that you never questioned my typing into the night, even when I was supposed to be on vacation. Abundant love to the wee ones—Abigail, Anna Grace, and Audrey—who are constant sources of love and light.
Huge thanks to Richard for all the sage advice throughout this book’s journey and beyond. Love to Meese Patty and family for helping shape the person I am today.
Thank you to my sister, Nicole, for being my first beta reader and champion. Thank you for the strictly professional comments (“PUPPIES!”) and for enduring all my late-night wait-isn’t-this-a-plot-hole texts.
My life would be a lot less bright without Gaston, my lost-and-found love—I’m so glad we made it to “found.” Thank you for the meals you cooked, dishes you washed, and errands you ran just so I’d have more time to work on this book. Your unflagging support of me and my dream through every triumph, pitfall, and stress-cry has meant the world. I love you. You are everything.
Last but not least, thank you to Mom and Dad for encouraging my creativity every day of my life. Thank you for letting me try out whatever activity I wanted to, whether it be drawing, painting, or singing—and finally, writing. I’m beyond lucky to have parents like you. Thank you, mahal kita.