I lead Bella back to my car because, by the way she’s looking around, it’s clear that she’s forgotten where we parked. Good thing she didn’t come here alone, or she’d never find her car and get home. Especially with that pointless tiny thing she drives.
I walk to the driver’s side, open the door, and chuck her bags on the backseat. Bella looks at me over the roof, on her tiptoes, and raises her eyebrow.
“What?” I ask.
“You know, if you were a gentleman, you would open my door for me.”
“Just get in the car, Isabella.”
Laughing to herself, she opens her door.
Does she say shit like that just for a reaction?
She must because I’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m not the fluffy gentleman type.
I get in and turn the engine on.
“Let’s get home, sunshine,” she says, dropping down in the seat and slamming the door shut.
Her sarcastically sweet smile makes me grit my teeth.
She’s definitely doing it on purpose.
I tear out of the car park, gripping the steering wheel like my life depends on it.
Why do I let her wind me up?
“You’d better change into one of those sets the second we get in,” I mutter. The more I think about her in that underwear, the more my frustration with her melts away.
“Okay, but first, can you stop at the supermarket?”
“Why? I have food.”
I’ve started shopping now that I have her. When she’s hungry, she’s a fucking nightmare.
Her eyes flicker with heat. “Uh-huh. I was going to get whipped cream though.”
I grip the steering wheel harder and almost crash the damn car in the process. “What?”
“We’ve never done that before.”
“No, we haven’t. I’m down,” I say. Whacking the indicator, ready to turn right at the light, I head to the supermarket near home.
We both go in and get the whipped cream—two cans. I’m pretty sure, from the smirk on the guy at the counter, it’s obvious what we’re about to do.
Bella leans over while I shove my card in the machine and whispers, “We should’ve bought a cucumber and condoms, too.”
I cut her a look and take my card back. She would absolutely do that, too.
“Cheers, man,” I say to the guy as he hands me the receipt.
We head back out to the car.
Bella’s smiling like it’s Christmas as we head along the side of the building to the car park.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a man dressed entirely in black with his hood pulled over his head. He raises his hand and—
Bang.
Bella gasps and grabs ahold of my arm. She’s scared.
Fuck.
I shove her between the supermarket and a block of flats next to it while looking over my shoulder. The shooter dives into a beat-up Ford and takes off.
“It’s okay,” I whisper to Bella.
We’re not going to get shot at. The shooter has gone, and people are already gathering around whoever is now on the ground. I don’t know his name, but I’ve seen him around before. Now, he’s dead.
“Wh-what the hell was that? Why did he do that? Why do people do that?” she mumbles, stumbling over her words. Her fingers are cutting into my biceps.
I take her face between my hands and press my forehead to hers. “Hey, you’re okay. It’s done now. He’s gone. You’re safe, I promise.”
“But…why?”
“I don’t know why, Bella. There’s not always a reason…or not one you would understand.”
She shakes her head, eyes wide with fear. “There has to be. It doesn’t make any sense. Is the person he shot dead?”
I nod. Middle-of-the-forehead shot isn’t something you survive.
“How do you just decide to take someone’s life?”
“Whoa, Bella, breathe.”
She takes a breath, and I see tears well in her eyes.
Shit.
Her head snaps around, following something.
A car?
“That’s the one,” she says.
The one what?
She really is in shock.
“I see it everywhere.”
“Huh? See what, Bella?” I look off in the distance. “You mean, the car?” It’s just a dark Volkswagen Passat. “I don’t know whose it is, but most young lads drive round and round.”
When she looks back at me, her eyes are wide and filled with terror. “I want to go back to your place now. I don’t like it here. Can we go?”
This is getting weird.
“Yeah,” I reply. I tuck her into my chest as much as I can as we hurry back to my car.
The people who don’t want to be around when the cops turn up have left, and only two people are now with the dead guy on the floor.
To Bella, this is horrifying, but to me, it’s business as usual.
I drive back to mine, and the second we come to a stop outside my flat, Bella is out of the car and running to my door.
Is this the part where she leaves?
It should be. I should make her if she doesn’t.
I let us in the flat after locking my car, and she heads to the living room.
Shit, I’m losing her.
The thought makes me feel sick.
Closing the door, I follow her. Bella’s sitting on the sofa, staring into space.
This is why I should’ve ended things between us before it really began.
I crouch down in front of her and stroke her hair from her face. “Hey, I’m so sorry you had to witness that. It doesn’t happen often, not murder.”
“Is he definitely dead?”
Unless he’s immortal…
“I think so, babe. Are you okay? I know it’s a shock the first time you see something like that.”
She looks down and whispers, “I’m okay.”
That’s a goddamn lie. Clearly, she is not okay. Her hands are shaking, and she looks like she’s seen a ghost—or a fucking murder. I don’t really know what to do to help her.
“When did you first see something like that?”
“Er, I think I was about four.”
She presses her lips together and nods. “How many times have you witnessed someone dying?”
“I’m not sure.” I’ve not kept count, but it’s probably around five. “Why do you want to know?”
“I…” She licks her lips. “No idea. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Bella. Tell me what you need. Do you want me to drive you home? I’ll understand if you don’t want to be here right now.”
“No. Despite what just happened, this is the only place I want to be.”
How can she mean that? Some guy just got shot in front of her.
“Really?” I ask, unable to hide the surprise from my voice.
“You make me feel safe,” she whispers.
“Jesus, Bella,” I say.
Cracking a small smile, she leans forward. “I’d really like it if you took me to bed now.”
“You would?”
She looks sure, but I’m not feeling it. Something happened back there, and she’s using sex to distract herself from it. Now, I’m no stranger to meaningless sex, but I refuse to do it with her.
I hold her gaze, and her eyes twitch.
“Bella, talk to me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little shaken up. It’s not every day you see someone get shot.”
I push off the floor and sit beside her. She curls into my side and buries her head in my chest.
“It’s okay not to be strong and cocky all the time,” I tell her.
“Yeah, maybe you should tell yourself that once in a while.”
I want to tell her that I’m fine and that, in the past, I’ve never had anything to lose, but that seems like rubbing it in. Growing up here has hardened me. I don’t get scared when shots are fired. And I always thought that was the best way to live, but being with Bella is making me question that.
Maybe the happiness someone can bring is worth having a weakness for.
Though I can’t see that being true if anything ever happened to her. It would break me if I lost her for good.
“Maybe I should,” I agree. “Let’s make a deal. In front of each other, we don’t always have to be strong. Okay?”
The deal is for her. I want her to open up and tell me everything, and I still want to know what she’s holding back, but I have no intentions of offloading any of my shit on her.
Tilting her head, she looks up at me and cracks a beautiful smile that makes my heart thud. “Okay, deal.”
“What?” I ask when a frown steals the smile.
“I don’t know. It’s just…I’ve never had someone to talk to. Not someone I feel like I can talk to anyway.”
“You’ll always have me, Bella.”
No matter how long always is.
“I’m holding you to that. I’ve never been this close to someone before, and I don’t want it to end.”
“If I’d known it’d only take a guy getting shot for you to open up more, I would’ve paid a hit man.”
Her mouth falls open, and I wince.
“Sorry, babe. Too soon?”
“Yes, too soon, dickhead!” She slaps my chest and glares.
I know that, if I keep looking at her, she’ll smile, but I don’t think I’m done with her being angry yet. I fucking love her angry.
“Sorry, I wouldn’t really hire a hit man. I—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.”
“It’s nice to see that your fire is back.”
She bites her lip. “I didn’t mean to act like a little girl.”
“Shut up.”
Her eyes narrow. A darkness is still there, but she’s doing better. “Did you just shut me up again?”
“Mmhmm. What are you going to do about it?”
Oh God, please do something kinky.
“I’m going to withhold sex.”
“Oh, because that’s going to happen. At least threaten something you have a chance at following through with.”
“Fine. I’ll make you meet my parents.”
I wait for the fear as her words sink in. That should make me want to run for the hills…but it doesn’t.
“Isn’t meeting the parents inevitable? We should get it out of the way.”
She sits up straighter, so fast that it startles me. “What the hell, Rocco? Are you joking right now? Because I feel like you should be joking. Why doesn’t your face look like you’re joking?”
“Wow, someone’s a commitment-phobe.”
“I’m not. I’m with you exclusively, aren’t I? You’re just crazy to think that meeting my parents is a good idea.”
“First, you’d fucking better be exclusive with me. Second, why are you freaking so much? You think they’ll hate me?”
“Er, I know they’ll hate the thought of me being with you. They’re not like normal, supportive, and accepting parents. They worry too much, and they want me to be with a boring, safe guy with a full rest-of-life plan. And a good pension.”
“Who has a pension in their early twenties?”
“Harry has one at eighteen.”
“Fucking hell.” My mouth falls open.
That ain’t normal. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for Bella, but getting a pension is one of them.
“Exactly. Let’s keep the parent meeting until we absolutely can’t put it off any longer.”
Yeah, they’re going to hate me.
“Sure. You mean, like after the birth of our first child, right?”
She arches her eyebrow. “I mean, like after the birth of our second child.”
Works for me.
If Ellis had overheard this conversation, I would never hear the end of it. I don’t plan things with people, especially having children.
“I feel like I need to drink a lot of beer,” I say.
She grins and nudges my arm. “Children talk?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. Grab me one, too, please. Actually, grab me, like, four.”
Well, at least we’re on the same page about kids, too. For now anyway.
If I can’t get away from here, there’s no way I’m bringing a baby into this place. It’s too dangerous.
I had Bella around gunfire today. Somehow, I need to find a way to give her the life she deserves. A life that is far from here.