Cory woke the next morning feeling much more like her usual self. She ate the cooked grains she was offered at breakfast, politely declining all the meats and eggs. After everyone was finished, Prugilla announced that it was time for the bride to cry again, so Delphinium, Deidre, and Cory trooped down the corridor to the room with three chairs and took their seats. This time Cory was able to cry right away. Thinking about love all night with its attendant hopes and fears, highs and lows, had left her with plenty of ideas that she could use to make her cry.
She was sitting silently with tears streaming down her face when her mother turned to her and said, “I’m glad you decided to help me. The more we cry, the more Wilburton’s family will know how much we want this marriage to work.”
Cory smiled through her tears, not feeling the need to tell her mother the real reason she was crying. This time her tears were those of joy. After all, if her mother married a goblin, she would probably be too busy to harass Cory anymore. Yes, she wanted the marriage to work, but not for the same reasons as her mother’s.
Although Deidre still had a hard time crying, they finally got through their hour of misery. They were leaving the room when Delphinium turned to Cory and said, “How is the song coming along?”
“Surprisingly well,” Cory replied. “I’ll need only a few more hours to work on it. It should be ready to rehearse with Zephyr later tonight.”
“Oh, you’re not going to rehearse with them,” said Delphinium. “They aren’t allowed in the goblin warren until the day of the wedding.”
“Then how are we supposed to play it together? We have to practice to get it right!”
Delphinium shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“Come with me, Delphinium, you need to get ready,” Prugilla said, taking her by the arm.
Delphinium looked confused. “Ready for what?”
“The next rite, of course,” Prugilla replied. “You’ll see your mother in just a few minutes, Cory. Scoota will take you where you need to go.”
“Do you know what we’re doing next?” Cory asked the goblin girl as they started walking.
Scoota nodded. “Yes, and your mother isn’t going to like it one bit.”
“She won’t get hurt, will she? We don’t get along, but I won’t do anything to hurt her,” said Cory.
“Of course not! No one gets hurt in this ceremony! But they do scream a lot,” Scoota said with an evil-looking smile.
They walked farther down the corridor than they had before to a room with bare stone floor and walls. Deidre and all the goblin women joined them over the next few minutes. When Delphinium came in wearing a robe and goggles, she looked nervous and very uncomfortable.
Goblin women started walking around the room handing out buckets filled with stinky, black slop. Cory was wondering what she was supposed to do with it, when Prugilla gestured to Delphinium. Wearing a pained look on her face, Delphinium took off the robe so that all she was wearing were the goggles. Cory gasped. She had never seen her mother naked before, and she certainly didn’t want to now.
She stood there, trying not to look at her mother, as the goblin women around her reached into their buckets and pulled out handfuls of the black stuff. Prugilla was the first to toss some at Delphinium, who cried out in dismay. After that, goblin women threw the slop randomly, covering Cory’s mother until she was dripping with it.
“This is called the Glopping of the Bride,” said Scoota. “All the female members of the bride’s family, both old and new, have to do it. If you don’t, we’ll think that you don’t want to see our two families joined.”
Cory didn’t want to do it. Although she didn’t like her mother and rarely got along with her, she’d never wished her harm and hated the thought of anyone hurting her. Even so, it looked as if Cory had to throw the glop, whether she wanted to or not. When she looked up, her mother was standing with her back straight and her arms crossed over her chest. Black slop covered the goggles, making it impossible to see through them. At least Cory wouldn’t have to look her mother in the eyes when she did this.
Reaching into the bucket, Cory grabbed a fistful and threw it at her mother. She heard a gleeful shout and turned to see her grandmother throwing the muck as fast as she could. Apparently, Deidre had no reservations about “Glopping” the bride.
Cory reluctantly emptied her bucket one glob at a time. When everyone was finished, Delphinium was ushered from the room to loud and joyful cheers. A few goblin women left and came back bearing buckets of clean water, soap, towels, and mops. While some of the women washed the floor, the rest washed the black muck from their hands and arms, then left the room looking very pleased with themselves.
“You’ll be involved in one more ceremony after lunch,” Scoota told Cory. “But it’s a private one. Only you, your mother, and your grandmother will meet with Prugilla and two of her sisters. My mother is one of the sisters.”
“It doesn’t involve tossing things at people, does it?” asked Cory.
Scoota shook her head and laughed. “No, and no one has to take her clothes off, either.”
Cory sat with Scoota again and ate salad for lunch. Her mother, washed and wearing clean clothes, sat with Prugilla. The Glopping ceremony seemed to have endeared her mother to the goblins, and they treated her more warmly than they had before. Deidre was also in a good mood, talking and laughing with the goblins seated around her. Neither her mother nor her grandmother seemed to dread the next ceremony the way Cory did.
The third and final ceremony took place in the room with all the couches. When Cory heard what it was, she wasn’t sure it should even be called a ceremony. “These are two of my sisters, Grunnel and Peaches. They’ll be helping me with our Goblin Marriage Counseling,” Prugilla said as they all sat down. “We do this regardless of who is getting married. However, we feel it’s even more important when a goblin is marrying a non-goblin.”
“Do very many goblins marry non-goblins?” asked Cory.
“This is the first in our family,” Prugilla told her. “We couldn’t believe it when he told us, but considering how handsome and charismatic Wilburton is, we shouldn’t have been surprised. He was out of the warren working with non-goblins and was bound to catch some lady’s eye.”
Cory laughed, then covered it with a cough when she realized that Officer Deeds’s mother wasn’t joking. Deidre looked as if she’d tasted something really terrible. Cory hoped her grandmother wasn’t about to say what she was really thinking.
“You know I was married once before,” said Delphinium. “How is being married to a goblin any different?”
“Goblin men are very strong-willed,” said Prugilla. “They expect to have every little thing their way and can be very nasty if it isn’t. I’ve been married for sixty-seven years, and my husband still thinks he’s in charge. That’s because I know how to handle him. For instance, when you want something, suggest it in a way that will make him think he thought of it himself. Then continue to let him think it was his idea, even when it grates on your nerves every time he crows about his own brilliance.”
“Really?” said Grunnel. “I always let my husband think he’s right, until he isn’t. Then I set him straight, even if it means kicking him out of the cave.”
“I’ve never kicked my husband out of the cave,” declared Peaches.
“That’s because when you get in a big fight with him, you come running to my cave,” said Grunnel.
“Or mine,” Prugilla added.
“I don’t come to your caves because we’re fighting!” said Peaches. “I come over because he snores so loudly I can’t get any sleep! We fight as much as any other happily married goblins. Why else do you think we’ve stayed together as long as we have? I always say, ‘Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight it out!’ ”
“When I said that goblin husbands can be nasty if they don’t get what they want, just keep in mind that the only way to win a fight with a goblin is to be nastier than he is,” Prugilla told Delphinium. “I’ve lived by that rule every day of my married life and we’re both very happy. Goblin husbands expect nastiness. They don’t really understand anything else.”
“Do you have any suggestions that don’t have to do with fighting?” asked Delphinium.
“Of course!” said Grunnel. “You should always tell your husband what you want. He’s probably too thick-headed to figure it out for himself.”
Peaches shook her head. “I believe in being subtle. If my husband forgets to buy me a gift for an important event, like my birthday or our anniversary or any of the fifty-three goblin holidays, I make lists of gifts I’d like and leave them on his pillow, or next to the toilet, or on his dinner plate. If he’s too thick-headed to get the hint, I tape the list to his forehead when he’s sleeping. Once, I even used an ink stick to write it on his belly.”
“Fifty-three goblin holidays!” cried Cory. “Do you really celebrate them all?”
“I do if it means I get presents,” Peaches told her.
“Well, I think we can all agree that communication is very important in a marriage,” said Prugilla. “If your husband does something you don’t like, tell your mother-in-law about it. She’ll make him change his ways. And since I’m going to be your mother-in-law, Delphinium, know that you can count on me!”
When Cory learned that she wasn’t needed for any other marriage preparations that day, she returned to the room she’d slept in to work on the song. Both the music and the lyrics had been in the back of her mind ever since she got up that morning, and she couldn’t wait to get her new ideas down on leaf. It was a good song—she could feel it. It might even be her best so far. But then, it was a topic that she knew a lot about, without ever consciously learning it.
Cory got busy right away. She had a lot to do before morning. Not only did she have to finish the song, but she’d have to make copies for all the members of Zephyr. It would have been a lot easier if they could have rehearsed her new song at least once!