Mara’s pulse galloped as the blast of cold knocked her back. Britta flattened her stocky frame against the onslaught.
Tanner eyed Britta carefully, but she didn’t seem to be alerting on any malicious presence. Mara couldn’t see how any creature, even the incredible boxer, could detect a human over the howling din. Maybe she couldn’t. They might be walking right into an execution.
Throat dry, she stayed close to Tanner. They pushed out, Tanner, one step ahead, gun in his gloved hand. He shoved a rock in the tunnel door to keep it from closing completely in case it automatically locked from the outside. A last-ditch fail-safe if they could not find the trailer. It would also show Eli their escape route if he tracked them this far.
Between a rock and a hard place, she thought grimly. She’d folded the blanket in a tight roll and gripped it under her arm to keep her hands free. For what? To fight off a bullet from Eli? In an instant, every thought and fear in her mind was sucked away save for the overwhelming sense that her body was freezing one cell at a time.
All around was a stinging machine gun spray of snowflakes barreling at them. In a matter of moments, she’d completely lost her sense of direction.
Tanner pulled her close, tugged the blanket from under her arm and wrapped it around her. Flakes powdered his lashes. “Storm’s picked up. I can’t find a trail.”
Lost, her brain screamed. In these conditions it would mean certain death. She spun around, but she could no longer see the tunnel behind them. As her terror edged toward despair, she saw Tanner reach into his pocket and pull out Alice’s key. He offered Britta a sniff. Mara felt a prick of hope. Alice had said she had been at her uncle’s recently, packing. Her scent would be on both the key and the trailer. Their fate rested on Britta’s furry shoulders, or maybe on her coal-black nose.
Britta’s nostrils quivered as she inhaled the scent. Tail erect, she surged ahead. Tanner holstered his weapon, took Mara’s hand and they followed. In near whiteout conditions, bent almost double, they pushed on one step at a time, past sculpted mounds of snow that might have been shrubs, trees or piles of rock. She could no longer feel Tanner’s hand in hers though she wore the lined gloves he’d pulled from his backpack and insisted she put on. Dizzy, freezing, disoriented, she struggled on, able only to spot glimpses of Britta.
The moments passed in slow motion with no sign of a trailer or any other shelter that might protect them. Had they been walking for five minutes? Fifteen? The storm only intensified as they moved on. Another ten minutes? Twenty? Her eyes leaked moisture which froze stiff on her cheeks until she could not even make out Britta’s dark sides anymore. Had the dog gotten sucked up in the howling storm? Her heart lurched. Poor, brave Britta who should be back in Olympia sleeping in her cozy bed.
They could not continue much longer, but would they even have the strength to return to the tunnel? She’d been wrong to advise them to leave it. Wrong about it all and now it was time for them all to pay for her mistake. “Tanner...”
Had she actually produced a sound? It was like shouting in the wash of a jet engine. She had to try again, to say they needed to return to the tunnel and take their chances with Eli before it was too late. But Tanner was stopped, staying something to her. She couldn’t hear a syllable of it.
He leaned so close his cold lips brushed her cheek. She made out the last word. “...here.”
Here? Where?
He took her arm and half dragged her underneath the trees. Weren’t they heading away from the trail? Thanks to the whiteout, she no longer had any idea where the gas station was, the trail, the tunnel. The landscape might as well have been on some other planet. Britta kept vanishing in the deep snow, then popping up as she bounced herself free. There was no doubt she was struggling.
Tanner shouted something again, which she did not hear. Too numb to think, she allowed him to tow her along. It was all a disorienting kaleidoscope, and she was not sure she was even still on her feet, until he stopped.
“Wait here.”
She blinked hard, standing in a stupor as he waded through a deep hollow, the snow clear to his waist. Her eyes burned and she had a hard time forcing them to blink. Suddenly, he yanked open a door seemingly in the middle of a snowbank. She must be hallucinating, she thought as she swiped the ice from her brows. Her brain slowly accepted what her eyes were reporting. Not a snowbank, her mind sang. A snow-covered structure, a narrow door with a silver handle, the door to a white trailer almost halfway swallowed up.
In disbelief, she watched Britta climb up with help from Tanner and then he’d returned to her, seized her waist and hoisted her uncooperative body over his shoulder, carrying her to the trailer steps. When he set her down, her legs were so wooden she could not crawl up so he lifted her in, joining her after a moment. He slammed the door shut against the raging storm.
Inside? They’d found shelter? Everything was an unrecognizable blur. Tanner pushed her to a bench seat bordering a tiny kitchen table, sat down beside her and called Britta to him. When the dog settled on his lap, he wrapped the blanket she’d brought around all three of them. She could not feel his body next to hers, nor Britta’s.
They huddled there for what could have been anywhere from five minutes to a half hour, for all she knew. Her muscles pulsed with pain as the feeling slowly trickled back through her nerves.
“We’re...alive,” she finally managed.
Tanner chafed her shoulders, and she leaned her face against him. Now her cheek detected the stubble on his chin, his warm breath against her neck. It was a thrill to feel, to know the ice had not stripped away her senses permanently. She pressed close.
How grateful she felt at that moment that God had helped Tanner find her and brought them to shelter. There was no question she’d be dead if he and Britta hadn’t intervened, but there was something else, another dimension to the comfort. She’d been going it alone, long before her days as a fugitive had begun. The pleasure and comfort of being near him was exquisite. She wanted to loop her arms around his neck and pour her emotions out. Instead she huddled there, tight to his side, and silently thanked the Lord for sending them, for Alice’s courage in risking everything to help.
The half-buried trailer was the difference between life and death.
Tanner broke her reverie by withdrawing his arm. He stood with an effort that made him grimace, giving Britta the command to stay with Mara. Britta didn’t need much convincing, burrowing tightly to Mara’s side but she tracked her master intently. Mara stroked the dog’s ears with her tingling hands and they shivered together. Was he headed for the door?
“Where are you going?” A rush of fear overtook her that he might leave, go for help in that monstrous storm. She wouldn’t let him.
“Poking around, is all. See what we have to work with.”
She exhaled a shaky breath.
She watched as he prowled the space and Mara could now see that the trailer appeared newer than she’d first suspected. A long rectangular space opened into two small sleeping areas at each end. In the middle was a tiny kitchenette with a gas stove and dining table with two narrow bench seats where she perched with Britta. There was a lone chair in the corner, the upholstery faded and worn. The Taj Mahal could not have been one bit lovelier, she thought. God had provided a palace, as far as she was concerned.
Tanner tapped the kitchen counter. “There’s a gas stove so there must be a propane tank outside under all that snow. I’ll dig it out in a minute.”
Propane? Fuel meant heat and she could hardly make her mind believe it.
The window over the sink was covered by white blinds which Tanner made sure were closed before he opened two interior hallway doors. One revealed a cramped bathroom complete with a small shower and the other a closet.
“Yes.” He pumped his fist and Britta wriggled her tail.
“What? Is it a radio or something?”
“No, it’s even better. It’s a power station.” He knelt and looked closely at the switches. “This baby’s got solar panels. I’ll climb up and clear off the snow when I dig out the propane tank, but hopefully, the battery has enough stored energy to run the heater for a little while anyway.”
Heater. She’d never heard a more glorious word. “What can I do?” she said through chattering teeth. “I will do literally anything to help you make that happen.”
He smiled. There were still glimmers of ice in his hair. “Stay put and keep Britta warm.” He handed her his phone. “Try to get a message to Asher. I don’t think we’re going to get a signal, but due diligence.”
Since her frozen claws had turned back into usable fingers, she fiddled with the phone while he worked out how to turn on the power station.
He flipped switches and after a few clanks and buzzes, she heard the purr of a motor. He broke into a smile that lit his chapped face and wiped the shadows from under his eyes. “That, my fellow sojourner, is the sound of the heater kicking on.”
“Praise the Lord.”
“Believe me, I am.”
She tried hard not to cry. Britta grazed her nose under Mara’s chin. Not daring to speak, she watched Tanner free his collapsible shovel from his pack and go outside.
A bolt of terror shot through her. The storm, Eli...but she knew she could not give voice to her fear without dissolving. Instead she clamped her teeth together and listened. She heard him climb onto the roof and the soft thuds of snow falling off as he scraped it away. Britta followed his invisible progress with her nose as if they were magnetically linked. Not magnets, she thought fondly. Tanner and his faithful dog were attached at the heart level and always would be.
Warming her fingertips as best she could, she tried to dial Asher. The phone refused to cooperate, but her hopes stayed high. If the storm let up, they could replenish the trailer batteries, maybe hole up until they could get a call out. The relief of being out of the elements was dizzying, but she wouldn’t completely relax until Tanner was back inside.
Gently easing Britta aside, Mara rose clumsily, feeling the tingling as the circulation was restored second by painful second. Pain was good. It meant frostbite hadn’t killed off parts of her body. Another praise. She was certain they’d come uncomfortably close to losing fingers, toes or worse. Didn’t take long for flesh to die in the conditions they’d just survived. If Britta hadn’t been able to sniff out the trailer...
No sense dwelling on that thought. How could she help improve their situation? Shelter, check. Heat, possibly coming soon. On to the next two vital issues, food and water. Tanner’s emergency backpack supplies would not hold out much longer. As her muscles gradually warmed, her stomach came to life with a growl.
Moving to the tiny kitchenette, she began checking the cupboards for food. Nothing in the first two, but the third yielded a bounty that made her squeal. Three cans of chicken noodle soup, unopened jars of peanut butter and strawberry jelly, a box of crackers and a six-pack of raisins. She waved the soup cans like maracas and twirled in an awkward dance. “Score,” she cried out. Britta yipped in surprise and scampered over. Her happiness was compounded to see that the dog was moving without any sign of injury.
“Look what I found, Boo Bear?”
Britta rose up on her back legs to paw at Mara’s thighs.
Another shelf held cans of tuna, pancake mix and an unopened tin of instant coffee. There was a small refrigerator, but it was the same temperature as the room, empty, as was the minuscule freezer compartment, save for a box of baking soda.
Tanner popped his head in, his knit cap furred with snowflakes. “Propane tank’s clear. God willing, we’ll have hot water and the stove will work. Be in soon.”
It hurt to grin at him, but she did it anyway. When he left again she realized she was thirsty, burningly so. No doubt Britta and Tanner were too. There did not seem to be any bottled water, and nothing came out of the tap when she tried it, but if the stove was functional...
She turned the knob to the burner, delighted when it clicked, sparked and glowed a soft orange. Flicking it off, she found a pot. Tanner looked up in surprise from the roof of the trailer when she forced her way outside. She waved the pot and he gave her a thumbs-up. Though it took her only a few seconds to pack the vessel with snow, her joints screamed their displeasure. Tanner’s shoulders were dusted with collected snow, and she wanted to urge him to come down, but she knew he wouldn’t until he’d done what he set out to. His grit warmed her soul.
She remembered what he’d said about losing someone close to him and how he’d almost looked as though he might hug her when she’d discussed her father.
Hugged? A simple act of compassion but the more astonishing part was the disappointment she’d felt when he didn’t. She craved his touch, his comfort.
Tanner is here because he was assigned to be. You’re working together to stay alive. That was all. Didn’t matter if she’d come to realize her lone wolf attitudes were holding her back, now wasn’t the time to work on changing that. Not now, not with Tanner. With renewed purpose, she scrunched her way back.
Inside, she turned on the burner and held her hands close while the snow in the pot melted. She wished Tanner would come back, but the stored energy in the batteries would not last forever and the sun was all they could hope for to keep them in power. Still, he was risking frostbite, a fall, any number of dangers to restore the solar panels.
Those panels...
She pictured the glossy black panels she’d glimpsed while she was filling the pot. When the storm abated and the sun shone, those black surfaces would be soaking up the rays, but those very same rays would attract attention like a beacon for anyone who might be looking.
A shiny bullseye for Eli and Vinny to target? The snow in the pot dissolved with a hiss.
The meager warmth did not seem quite enough to dispel the freeze that took over her insides.
This bubble of safety was just that...a bubble. If they’d found the trailer, so could Eli.
Not could...would.
It was only a matter of when.
Tanner climbed off the roof and let himself back inside the trailer, locking the door and again checking to see that the blinds were all closed. The storm was showing signs of breaking up, and late afternoon shadows were creeping in, so he knew there was probably minimal risk of Eli spotting the solar panels. Hopefully they’d absorb a few rays before nightfall to complement the battery storage and keep the trailer powered.
He shook the snow from his clothes and accepted licks and wags from Britta as he checked her carefully from ears to tail. She appeared to have suffered no ill effects thanks to her insulated harness and the protection for her paws. He noticed Mara had provided her a bowl of boiled water and removed her booties. He pulled off her harness, providing a luxurious full body scratch that made her drop to the floor and flash her tummy. His knees complained as he knelt to oblige, but he did it anyway. Without question, they’d be dead if it weren’t for this courageous, faithful dog. An angel in a fur coat, he was convinced. He showered her with kisses.
“You’re my good Boo Bear,” he crooned.
Mara was stirring two pots on the stove as he went to stand next to the heating vent, desperate to absorb some of the warmth. She offered him a cup of lukewarm water which he glugged down without delay. His nostrils quivered, picking up an enticing aroma from the second pot.
“That smells incredible.”
She laughed and poured the contents into two large mugs. “I figure this way we can feel the warmth better while we eat.” The trailer was still extremely cold, and he was delighted with her plan. She held up a red plastic bowl. “I poured some kibble in from your backpack for Britta. Is it okay if I add a teaspoon of soup?”
Britta, hearing her name and spying the bowl, began to squirm all over with anticipation and that had to be a smile on those fleshy boxer lips. He laughed. “How could I say no after what she did for us today? Dog deserves a prime rib dinner when we get back and she’s going to get it.”
Mara set the bowl on the floor and refilled Britta’s water bowl with more boiled snowmelt. Britta sat obediently, waiting for Tanner to give her permission.
“Chow time.” The dog raced to the bowls and began a noisy meal. It did his heart good to see her enthusiasm. He felt the same about his mug of soup. If he had a tail, he’d be wagging it as he slid onto the bench seat at the table. “Any progress with the phone?”
She shook her head and joined him. “No, sorry to say.”
He held his face over the soup and cupped the mug with one hand. She surprised him by taking his other, kneading his cold fingers.
Her eyes were so brilliant, like gemstones. Her fingers teased warmth into his. Her touch filtered through him, sunshine on snow. How could simple human contact fill up his heart in such a way?
She said a simple grace, full of thanksgiving, her voice breaking until she was unable to continue.
“Thank You, Lord and amen,” he finished for her.
He was filled with a similar gratitude and something else he couldn’t describe, some strange emotion that anchored him there in that feeling of...what? Comfort? Intimacy? Too nebulous to label. He gulped soup to cover his confusion. The salty broth soothed his raw throat and made his taste buds sing. “Absolutely the finest meal ever to cross my palate.”
Mara drank and rolled her eyes. “Agreed. I am totally writing the soup company to tell them they are the bee’s knees.”
He laughed. “I’ll sign it too, and Britta will give her paw print endorsement.”
Mara gave him a rundown of the supplies. He grinned. Better than he could have hoped for.
She jotted a note on a crumpled piece of paper. “I’m keeping a list so we know how much to reimburse Alice.”
Practical. Ethical. He liked that. How many other women would have thought of that in such a situation? “Still no phone success?”
“Sorry, no. But I’ll keep trying.”
Now that they were out of the elements, he could see her clearly. There was a scratch on her cheek, and her dark hair glimmered with moisture. Everything about her was so vivid, so...alive. Why did he want to study her, every flicker of expression and nuance of feeling? Facing death together had probably brought more vibrancy to the situation, he told himself. Natural.
She tapped her pencil on the table. “And if we bring in more snow, it will melt by morning so we won’t have to use the stove in case the propane is low. Will the batteries keep the trailer going for a while?”
“We’ll have to hope so.” He checked his watch. “Why does it feel like midnight? It’s only four o’clock.”
“Because this has been an absolutely endless day.”
“You got that right. Seems like a lifetime since Eli found my car. Soon as the storm breaks I’m going to hike for a while and see if I can get a signal on my phone and at least send a text out.”
She sighed and sipped the remains of her soup. Sorrow replaced the optimism. She chewed her lip.
“What is it?” he found himself asking, surprised how much he wanted to decipher her turn of mood. Decipher and ease the pain away. He shifted uneasily.
“I’m sorry I got you and Britta into this mess, Tanner. Sincerely, sorry. If I’d made different choices...”
He shrugged. “You know how many times I’ve said that, Mara?”
“It’s been my constant thought since I bolted. I can’t seem to remember how I used to feel before I ran from the murder scene. All of it is one big painful blur. I think I was cocky, mostly. Figured I could do things alone, didn’t really need anyone nor made much of an attempt to get to know the people around me.”
“You were reserved, is all. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Except that when it came down to it, I didn’t give people a reason to trust me. They didn’t really know who I was because I didn’t let them.”
She could have been describing his life. He chose his words carefully. “There is one thing I wondered about that we haven’t discussed. The chief called your cell right after the murders.” He waited for her reply.
Her gaze roved his face. “And you wonder why I didn’t answer?”
“I mean if you could trust anybody, it’d be him, right?” Chief Donovan Fanelli was the unit’s rock, the man that was a spokesperson for integrity.
A few moments ticked by and she found her voice. “I could say it was panic. I’d just seen my former boyfriend lying dead next to Stacey Stark. When Danica and Colt arrived at the scene, I thought about calling out to them, then I considered it from a crime tech’s viewpoint. I was on scene. Eli dropped my bracelet nearby. I’d had a public disagreement with Jonas right after we broke up a month ago. I knew nothing would support my innocence. Plus there was Eli’s threat to my dad. But I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t trust the chief or the team and really at the core, I think it came down to the fact that I didn’t give anyone an opportunity to know me, not really.” She traced a circle on the table with her fingertip. “I didn’t think they’d really want to, actually.”
He goggled. Not at all what he’d expected her to say. “That’s why you didn’t answer the chief?”
“I know it sounds nutty, but like I said I’ve had a lot of time to ponder this. I didn’t think Chief Fanelli would actually want to help me, nor would most of the rest of the team.” She heaved out a breath. “I have some...trust issues, I guess.”
He yearned to hear more, but it would be her choice to share or not. He let another swallow of hot soup trace a warm path to his stomach, willing her to keep sharing. Tell me what makes you tick, Mara. The need for answers burned him like a live coal.
“My father cheated on Asher’s mother when Asher was ten. They divorced and Dad started a new relationship with my mother and they had me. That whole messy episode was a complete bombshell which I didn’t know about until I was almost sixteen and my mother had been dead for years. Dad became a Christian right after my mother died, but still it took him a long time to finally tell me the truth. Dad carried a lot of deep shame about that, and he sort of shut down.” She pulled out the keychain photo and showed him, a smiling Mara next to her father wearing a fuzzy yellow sweater.
“How did you react, hearing that your father had a whole other family? That he cheated?” He couldn’t imagine. His own parents were the most honorable people he knew.
“For a while, I really struggled, but it explained a lot of things. We were kind of a solitary family, except for some school activities. I was raised to be self-sufficient and private and that’s kind of my personality too, but hearing that made me more so. I’ve always been wary of relationships. I assume people don’t want to get to know me. It gives me an excuse to keep them at arm’s length.”
Who on earth wouldn’t want to know Mara? You didn’t. The thought pained him. He’d wanted to and if he hadn’t gone through losing Allie maybe...
She stowed the photo. “I did that with the people on the team, the chief, and...” She tapped a finger on her mug. “And you. I definitely told myself that you didn’t want to know me very deeply.” She shrugged. “It probably explains why Jonas and I didn’t make it too. I’ve come to figure out that’s a ‘me’ issue more than anything.”
Her honesty elicited a response he hadn’t planned. “No, it wasn’t all you. I stopped opening myself up to people after my fiancée died.”
Now it was her turn to look surprised, the expression captured by the weak light further cut by the closed blinds.
“I didn’t know about your fiancée. I’m sorry.”
He nodded a thanks, wishing he could put the words back inside where they belonged. Sharing was messy and painful, like picking a wound that hadn’t fully scabbed over. “Happened four years ago so... It was a long, protracted hideously painful experience. I decided I didn’t ever want to feel that way again.” Why was he telling her this? He was desperate to change the subject, steer them back on safe ground. “But I guess I understand why you didn’t want to answer the chief’s call. You reached out to Asher and Willow though, I know. Then no more contact?”
“Only that one additional call I made from a gas station phone when I gave Asher the clue about where to find me. I should have tried to make contact earlier, but I couldn’t risk it. Eli was everybody’s friend, and I didn’t want to cause any trouble for my brother or Willow. They’d have to disclose any conversations we had since I was the person of interest in the murders.”
If Asher had been more open...if she’d been able to trust him...
“I never would have imagined how it would turn out.” There was a slight tone of uncertainty in her voice. She still doubted her decisions, doubted herself.
“You don’t have to justify your actions to me. I get it. Given the choice, I’d always pick going it alone too.”
She took another sip, draining her soup. “Before, I would have said we had that in common, but I’ve changed my mind about it. I think God’s been teaching me through this debacle that alone isn’t always best.”
Might not be best, he thought, but it had to be better than the agony he’d experienced. Alone was painful. Together could be excruciating. “Hard to know what’s best.” It was clear by the way she leaned back a fraction that he’d redrawn the distance between them. A vicious gust of wind rattled the trailer. “How about we get settled in for the night?”
She found a couple of blankets and shared one with him. He and Britta took the bed on one end of the trailer and her the other. The view out his window from behind the blinds was limited, but he scoped it out nonetheless, feeling Mara looking at him.
“I’ll keep watch. Don’t worry.”
“You stayed up last night when we were in the car. You need to sleep.”
“I’m...”
She interrupted. “You watch until midnight. I’ll wake up and take my shift from then until the morning.”
He shook his head.
“I know we both like to go it alone, Tanner, but this requires teamwork if we’re going to make it.”
“I’m really not that tired.”
“And you’re not a good liar either.”
Why was she pushing so hard? Irritation strummed his nerves. “Mara...”
“Do you trust me?”
The question seemed to hang in the soup-scented air. Trust her? It wasn’t a matter of knowing she would stay awake for the watch. He knew her question went deeper. Was he willing to open himself up enough to put his heart in her hands? He thought he’d explained that a moment before. No, he wasn’t, but he didn’t want to hurt her by flat out saying so. He realized he’d waited too long to reply, which was answer enough.
She stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself, smaller somehow than she’d been a moment before.
“There’s a timer in the kitchen. I’ll set an alarm for midnight to relieve you.” She turned around and trudged to her side of the trailer.
Spirit sinking, he made his way to his with Britta following along.
If I could trust anyone, it’d be you, Mara.
The words remained unspoken as he settled into sleep.