CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYED, and Granny had candles lit everywhere when she met us at the back door with her red Christmas apron on.
My aunt and uncle were already there. Aunt Susannah had a little more color in her cheeks than when I saw her last time at the hospital. She asked, “Where’s Laramie?”
Daddy told her the whole story about Laramie’s mom coming home. My aunt just cried. I knew she was missing Mama and wishing she’d come walking through that door just like Laramie’s mom did. Whenever Mama walked into a room, everybody looked, and just seeing her put a smile on their faces.
Last Christmas Eve was our first one without Grandpa, and now Mama’s chair at the table was empty too. Made me look around the room and think about what could happen by next Christmas. But if I knew Granny, she wouldn’t allow too much time for being sad tonight.
Everybody was in the kitchen, the way they always were at Granny’s house.
Granny switched off the griddle. “Susannah Hope, look at Lisa’s hand and see what happened when she and Luke were out here skating on the pond last night.” Aunt Susannah Hope was probably expecting a cast on Miss Lisa’s arm the way Granny talked. She was so surprised when she saw that ring that she started crying all over again.
Granny gave everybody a job except Chesler. His job was to stay out of the way until the food was on the table. When we were all in our seats, Granny Grace asked Uncle Don to pray. He prayed good prayers, but they could be long. I opened my eyes and looked around. Granny was sitting in Grandpa’s seat at the end of the table. Miss Lisa was sitting in Granny’s old seat next to Uncle Luke, and I was in Mama’s chair right next to Daddy. I closed my eyes again when I thought he was about to say amen.
Granny’s supper was simple compared to what our Christmas lunch would be tomorrow. Every Christmas Eve since I could remember, we’ve sat around Granny’s dining table with her red Christmas cloth on it. We have the same thing—French onion soup, grilled cheese sandwiches on my aunt’s homemade bread, and fruit salad. Daddy insisted on making the fruit salad this year because that was always Mama’s job.
Grandpa used to grumble, “Gracie, I don’t know why you have to serve cheese on top of the soup, and another half a pound of cheese on my sandwich. You know that much cheese messes up my plumbing.” The first time I heard him say that, I just laughed because everybody else did. But when Daddy explained it to me about the plumbing and all, I laughed out loud all over again.
When we finished our supper, Granny, Aunt Susannah, and Miss Lisa cleared the table, and Granny brought out the Santa Claus platter of her homemade cookies and fudge. “Okay, just a reminder, if you eat all these cookies tonight, you won’t get any tomorrow.” She always said that too.
Then came my favorite part, not because of the cookies, but because Granny brought out the magic marker, and we all signed our names on the table cloth again. The table was cleared of dishes, so we could see everybody’s names from years ago. I was looking for how Mama signed her name when she was in the second grade. She signed it “llennoD’O yoJ anaiD” just to be different. And then one year she drew smiley faces in all the Os in her name. We always laughed about that. Granny made a big deal about Miss Lisa signing her name for the first time. One time Granny told me that when she went to heaven she wanted me to have the Christmas tablecloth.
We put on our coats to leave for the Christmas Eve service, and Aunt Susannah Hope insisted Granny ride with them. Granny refused. “I’m riding in the car with these young folks. I need to make sure Chesler and Kate know their lines for the Christmas program. But go ahead and put my overnight bag in your car. I’m spending the night in town with you and Don. Oh, where’s Chesler’s sheep costume?”
Uncle Don was helping my aunt to get in the car. “It’s in our car, and your bag’s already there too. Anything else you need?”
“No. We’ll come back early in the morning for the food I’ve prepared and for all the presents. That is, we’ll get the presents if these children are good tonight.” Granny smiled.
I knew she didn’t mean that. She’d be giving presents no matter what. She was asking me to say my lines before we got down the lane to the main road. I said them perfect the first time. Then she insisted Chesler sing his solo. Asking Chesler to sing is like mashing the “on” button of a radio. He had us all singing Christmas songs by the time we got to town.
“Now you two kids sing like that tonight, and your mama and your grandpa will be clapping all the way from heaven.”
Uncle Luke had Chesler in his lap in the back seat. “And your dad and I will jump up and yell just like we do at the baseball game.”
“Nah, you can’t do that, Uncle Luke, not if Granny’s sitting next to you. She pinches.” Everybody laughed at Chesler.
Daddy parked in the lot across the street from the church, and we all got out. “Would you look at that? That’s one beautiful old church.” The church ladies on the decorating committee had tied red ribbons to the iron fence around the old stone church, and candlelight shone from the windows.
Daddy slapped Uncle Luke across the shoulder. “You sure you don’t want a Christmas wedding?”
“Not on your life. If Lisa wants snow, then I’ll bring in a snow-making machine. But we’re getting married right here in June. Right, Lisa?”
“Right. With white rose petals, who needs snow? And with Chesler and Kate, looks like we have our singer, and I have a bridesmaid.”
“I’m so excited to be a bridesmaid. Thank you, Miss Lisa.” I took her hand. “Would it be okay if I started calling you Aunt Lisa?”
She squeezed my hand. “You know, I think I’d like that a whole lot. I’ve been waiting a long time to be an aunt.”
Granny hung on to Daddy’s arm when we crossed the street. Pastor Simmons was standing at the door to greet us. He asked about Laramie. Daddy didn’t get to tell him everything about Laramie’s mom, just that she was home and he was hopeful everything would work out for that family. “And speaking of families, Luke, here, will be asking you to tie the knot to start another family right here in June.” Daddy took Aunt Lisa’s hand and showed the pastor her engagement ring.
“Yes, sir. Lisa and I’ll be coming in next week to talk to you about the wedding. We can’t imagine getting married anywhere else.”
Pastor Simmons shook Uncle Luke’s hand. “Now that’s plain beautiful, Luke. One of my favorite things about being a pastor is the sweet time I have with families at weddings and funerals.”
I agreed weddings were “plain beautiful,” but funerals? Maybe that was another one of those things I’d understand better when I grew up.
“Two services tonight, Pastor?” Granny asked.
“Oh, yes. This one with the children’s pageant, and then there’s another one at eleven.”
“Too late for my blood.” Granny moved on over by Uncle Luke.
The pastor turned to me. “Kate, I think the other kids are gathering in the choir room. You and Chesler better hurry.” Then he reached for the basket and started handing out candles to the grown-ups. “And the rest of you, don’t forget your candles, you’ll need them for the end of the service.”
Aunt Susannah went with us to make sure Chesler put on his costume right.
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Crouch cranked up that organ and made it sound like trumpets. That was our signal to come out and take our places. The choir for adults was behind us in the choir loft, and we were on risers out front. All the kids in costumes were in the manger scene over by the organ.
I came out with Pastor Simmons and stood beside him while he welcomed everybody to the church. I looked around, hoping to see Laramie and her parents. Daddy was sitting between Granny and Aunt Susannah Hope. On the other side of Granny, Uncle Luke and Aunt Lisa were sitting like they were glued together. Miss Evie was sitting down front with the pastor’s wife, her blond hair shining in the candlelight.
After the pastor said his welcome, he turned to me. “And now, Miss Katherine Joy Harding will announce our Christmas pageant.”
I was right in the middle of my four lines when I saw Laramie and Mr. and Mrs. Fields come in and sit in the back row. She waved at me, and I waved back just a little and finished my lines. From the look on Granny’s face, I did a good job.
Emily got the biggest part in the pageant this year. Her part was to read the story while the characters in costume acted it out. And at the right time, the choir would sing a song, and then everybody would clap.
Everything went along fine. Emily read her words clear and loud, and everybody remembered the words to the songs. Then came Chesler’s turn to sing his solo.
He stepped away from the manger scene and stood in the middle of the stage, out in front of everybody. He looked like Grady covered in cotton balls. His ears were lopsided because he let the headband slip. But when that boy opened his mouth to sing, nobody thought about floppy ears or cotton balls. He closed his eyes, and what came out of his mouth sounded like Mama, just like it came from heaven. His voice was clear as a bell. And you could understand every word.
Christmas is heaven come to earth.
Lives changed forever with this Baby’s birth.
All is well, no need to fear.
Heaven’s in Christmas, for Jesus is here.
Peace has come; all is well;
Peace is His presence in us to dwell.
All is well; all is well.
All this time I thought it kinda strange that a little boy sheep would be singing “All Is Well.” But tonight, for the first time, it made sense. Because of what Emily had read moments ago from the book of Isaiah:
The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.
That was going to be some kind of day when that happened. I guessed that was the end of the story that Mama knew, when God made everything all right.
I looked at Daddy, and he and Granny both were smiling and crying at the same time. When Chesler sang his last note, he just stood there like he had to wait until his soul came back to his body. And then he opened his eyes.
But not one person clapped. Not one.
I wondered if angel wings were fluttering all over that old church. Chesler, floppy ears and all, went back to his place and sat down at the manger scene.
The last thing on the program was the lighting of the candles. The ushers turned out all the lights, only they didn’t blow out the candles in the windows. Pastor Simmons talked about light coming into a dark world on Christmas, and then he lit his candle from the Christ candle on the altar table. He told us to keep our candles burning until we got to our cars and to leave in silence. When we sang “Silent Night,” he started lighting the candle of the person at the end of every row. That was really something with everybody holding up candles in the darkness.
All the people got up out of their pews and walked up the aisle toward the door. Pastor Simmons was at the door still holding his candle and saying quietly, “Peace be with you and merry Christmas,” to everybody.
It was snowing a little when we walked outside. I held my hand around my candle to keep the wind from blowing it out. The pastor said to leave in silence, and most folks did. But when we got to our car, it was like the Booster Club for the high school football team was waiting on Chesler. That boy got more hugs and kisses and little old women crying over his singing.
Daddy had just cranked up the car when he saw Mrs. Crouch running down the sidewalk. “Wait, John, just wait.” She slowed down when she saw Daddy roll down his window. “Thanks, John, these organ shoes are going to be the death of me on this ice. I need to speak with Chesler.”
Mrs. Crouch took off her glasses and stuck her head in the window where Daddy was sitting. “Chesler, I couldn’t let you get away without telling you that was the most beautiful singing I’ve ever heard in all of my seventy-six years, sweet boy. I didn’t want you to be upset because nobody clapped.”
Chesler got a look on his face like this was news to him.
“Oh, child, the reason nobody clapped is because it was just so beautiful no one could move. No one could have even whispered after you finished singing; it would just have destroyed that special moment they didn’t want to end.”
Daddy turned around to look at Chesler. “What do you say to Mrs. Crouch, Chesler?”
“Thank you, Mrs. Crouch.”
“John, you should be button-popping proud of both your children. And one of these days I know I’m going to look over the organ into the choir, and you’ll be back in your seat.” She pinched Daddy’s cheek just like he was a little boy. “I hope you Hardings have a very merry Christmas.”
“And merry Christmas to you too, Mrs. Crouch.”
I was watching Mrs. Crouch waddle back to the church when I spotted Laramie. “Daddy, there’s Laramie. Can I just go tell her good night?”
“Sure, but hurry.”
I opened the car door and nearly skidded across the parking lot to catch up with Laramie and her mom. They were walking arm in arm, with Mr. Fields just ahead. I whispered loud since we were supposed to be silent. “Hey, Laramie, wait up.”
She turned around and saw me. “Hi, Kate.”
“I just wanted to say merry Christmas. Sure wish you and your mom and dad would come for Christmas lunch tomorrow. Granny’ll have enough food to feed everybody. Won’t you come?”
She turned to her mother. “Can we, Mom? Granny Grace cooks good.”
“Please, Mrs. Fields, please. You just have to come. My family has more presents for Laramie.”
“Okay, let’s do it. I don’t think I can say no to you girls on Christmas Eve. What time?”
“It’s Sunday, so we come to church at eleven, then home for lunch. Want to meet us for church?”
“We’ll see you then. And tell your granny I’ll be bringing a dish.” Mrs. Fields opened the car and got in.
Laramie came closer and whispered, “You still going through with your plan tonight?”
“Yeah. Would you say a prayer for me that it’ll work?”
“I will. I’m sorry I don’t get to help you.” Laramie hugged me like a sister.
“Thanks, but it’s something I really need to do myself. See you tomorrow.”
I walked back to the car and climbed in. “Guess who’s coming to lunch tomorrow?”
Uncle Luke had it all figured out. “Wouldn’t be Laramie and her parents, would it?”
Chesler clapped. He liked Laramie now.
Daddy said, “It’ll be good to have extra folks around the table, then we won’t be eating Christmas leftovers until New Year’s.”
When we got home, Uncle Luke took Daddy’s car and drove Aunt Lisa home. Daddy told Chesler and me to put on our pajamas and we could watch television for a little while. When it was almost ten o’clock, Daddy said it was time for all good children to be in bed.
So we headed upstairs like Daddy said. When we got to the top of the stairs, Chesler whispered, “You still gonna take Mama’s present to her tonight?”
“Yeah, go to bed and be quiet so Daddy’ll think we’re asleep. I’ll come to your room in a little while.” Just one time I hoped he’d do what I told him. He’d better.
I went to my room and closed the door and climbed into bed. I didn’t think of any of the sweet things Mama told me to think about when I couldn’t go to sleep because I had to stay awake. I heard Uncle Luke come in, and then he and Daddy came upstairs. Daddy opened my door just to check on me. He closed it when he thought I was asleep. I hope Chesler pretended as well as I did.
When I didn’t hear anything else for a little while, I got up and peeked out my door. All the bedroom doors were closed, and the lights were out. I got my flashlight from under my bed and the scissors out of my desk drawer and laid them on my dresser. Before Mama went to heaven, she gave me her sewing box. Sometimes I sat at my desk and tried on her thimble and looked at all the thread and buttons and pieces of ribbon and lace. Mama said I was old enough to have her good scissors, and I was glad because I needed good scissors tonight.
I went to my closet and pulled out the toy chest Grandpa made me. I needed to stand on it to reach the box I painted for Mama. It was hidden behind my old dolls on the top shelf. I fished it out and put it on the dresser.
Mama taught me to brush my hair every night, so I did that next, wishing I had Mama’s hair. Everybody talked about Diana Joy Harding’s hair. Hers was long and dark red and curly and shiny, but I got Daddy’s hair, brown and straight.
I looked in the mirror and pulled my hair over my shoulder. Then I took Mama’s sewing scissors and snipped a lock of hair. I tied the hair with a piece of red ribbon from Mama’s sewing basket, then I put it in the red box and closed the lid. Mama would like this.
I put on my clothes, three layers to stay warm. At eleven fifteen I crept out my door and took the red box and scissors and a marker and went to Chesler’s room.
He was still awake. I turned on the lamp next to his bed and put the box on his flannel sheets.
“Just sit up, Chesler. You don’t have to get out of bed.” I knew if he got out of bed, he’d make noise and Daddy would come.
“But I have to get up to put my clothes on. I’m going with you. I’m gonna do Laramie’s part.” At least he whispered.
“No, you’re not going with me. You’re staying here. Now just sit up and be quiet.”
“Kate, you can’t go by yourself. You know what Daddy would say.”
“So, what do you think he would say if I took you with me? You’re not going, Chesler, and that’s final.”
“But why can’t you just put Mama’s present under the tree like everybody else’s?”
“Chesler, just think about it. Mama’s in heaven. She’s not coming by here tonight like Santa Claus to pick up her present and eat the cookies we left. I have to take it to church. God’ll be there, and I’ve been asking Him to take this gift to Mama.”
“But it’s dark and cold outside. Aren’t you scared?”
“Maybe a little, but I have a flashlight, and there’ll be people at church for the candlelight service. Now be still just for a minute.”
He pulled his head away. “Is this going to hurt?”
“Does it hurt when Daddy takes you to the barbershop?” Before he knew what happened, I snipped a couple of his red curls. He’d never miss them. “Now did that hurt?”
“No, but I don’t want to do it again. This was just for Mama.”
“I know. Just for Mama.”
I handed him the note and the marker. “Here, sign this while I tie the ribbon.” I wrote the note myself. It said,
Merry Christmas, Mama.
We didn’t know what to get you for Christmas. Daddy says heaven is such a wonderful place that you don’t need anything. So Chesler and I are giving you locks of our hair like you gave to Granny Grace. That way we’ll be close to you forever.
Love, Katherine Joy and Chesler
PS I see the redbird all the time in the cedar tree, Mama.
Faith. Family. Forever.
I put the note back in the box, tied the last piece of ribbon around it, and grabbed the flashlight from Chesler’s bedside table. “Now I gotta go. I have to get there before the service is over or I won’t even be able to get in the church.”
“Tell me again how you’re going to do it. Will you be back so Santa Claus can come?”
I told him my plan again. “Yes, Chesler, I’ll be back so Santa Claus will come.”
“But aren’t you going to pray while you’re there?”
“Yeah, and you pray too. Mama said God answers prayers, and I just know He would want Mama to be happy this Christmas. Now go to sleep, and I’ll be back before the bumblebees buzz in the blossoms.”
Chesler giggled. “That’s what Mama used to say.”
“Yeah, that’s what Mama used to say.” I turned out the light and tiptoed down the stairs. The grandfather clock in the front hall was chiming eleven-thirty when I tucked the box underneath my sweater and put on my heavy coat. I made sure the front door wasn’t locked when I closed it behind me.