Aria left once she’d pulled herself back together. Eli had taken the news far better than she’d hoped, but his insistence on being a distant figure in their child’s life concerned her. Maybe he needed time to process the news and adjust to the idea of being a father before they discussed particulars.
Aria still hadn’t told her parents and had no idea how to go about it. People had sex outside of marriage all the time, but most casual encounters didn’t result in pregnancy, so most people didn’t have to confess to their parents about it.
An even more horrifying thought occurred to her. How would Eli’s parents take the news? They’d probably assume she’d become pregnant to trap him, when nothing could be further from the truth. In an ideal situation, she’d raise the baby herself without accepting anyone’s charity, but although she could stretch her budget to cover a baby, she wouldn’t be able to work full-time once it was born. She might as well flush her promotion down the drain, for all the good it would do her now. She needed help.
Eli’s reticence disappointed her. She’d hoped he would be an equal partner in parenthood. Although he might not believe it, he would be a good dad. And while it would be difficult for her to have him around but not taste his kisses or feel him against her, it would be the best thing for the baby.
Their baby.
The idea was starting to grow on her. It wasn’t like she had any choice in the matter, so she might as well embrace it.
Over the weekend, she picked up some baby-related items in Timaru, where fewer people would recognize her, and then conference-called Sophie and Avery.
When they answered, she didn’t bother with the usual formalities. “Come to my place.”
“What’s wrong?” Sophie asked.
“Nothing,” Aria replied quickly. “Well, I guess something, but it’s also exciting. If you don’t come, you’ll be disappointed later.”
“Give me ten minutes,” Avery said before hanging up abruptly.
“Polite as always,” Sophie muttered sarcastically. “I’ll be there soon, babes.”
Aria lugged the bags into her living room. She poured two glasses of wine and one of sparkling grape juice, then opened a packet of Tim-Tams, a rare indulgence, and popped one into her mouth.
Sophie arrived before Avery. She must have jumped into her car as soon as she got off the phone because she was wearing sweatpants, a baggy singlet and fluffy slippers. Avery arrived only a few minutes later, looking far more composed. Aria handed them each a glass of wine and sipped her own drink while they got comfortable on the couch.
“Are you going to tell us what happened?” Sophie asked, eyes bright with excitement.
Aria tilted her head toward the shopping bags in the corner of the room, and they followed her gaze. Most were tied shut, and it was impossible to tell what was inside them, but a teddy bear was peeking out the top of one bag, and a bassinet stood behind them.
“Holy shit,” Avery breathed, her eyes darting from the bags to Aria and back again. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Aria rubbed a hand over her belly and nodded. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh. My. God.” Sophie was gobsmacked. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and she squealed. “Wow! You’re having a baby! I’m going to be an aunty.” She froze, her grin fixed. “Wait. Is this something we’re excited about, or something we’re horrified about?”
Aria shrugged. “I was horrified at first, but I’m excited now. A bit scared. Make that terrified. I don’t know how to be a mum.” Wasn’t that the truth? But she had the best role model. If she could emulate her mother, she’d be great.
Sophie squealed again, and Avery looked at her in disgust. “Get hold of yourself.”
“I always knew you’d be first!” Sophie cried, engulfing Aria in a surprisingly tight hug, considering her slight frame. Aria and Avery exchanged glances. They’d always expected Sophie to be the first to get pregnant.
“Are you calling me a loose woman?” Aria asked teasingly.
“Yeah, right,” Sophie scoffed. “You love kids, babe. It makes sense you’d want one before the rest of us.”
“Three guesses who the father is,” Avery remarked.
Sophie hugged her again. “It’s Eli Lockwood, isn’t it?”
Aria nodded. With all she’d been doing, she’d forgotten his involvement for a few hours, but now she remembered the way he’d held her when she’d told him she was pregnant. Tears welled up, and she willed them to stay where they were.
“Aww, honey,” Sophie soothed, rubbing her back. “Does he know?”
“Of course he knows,” Avery said. “He would have been the first person she told.”
“Yes,” Aria confirmed. “I’d never keep him in the dark.”
“Are you together?” Avery asked.
Aria was glad her friend’s scowl was fixed on the wine rather than her. “No.”
“Why not?” Now Avery shifted her steady gaze to Aria, who squirmed in her seat.
“It wasn’t like that between us,” she said. “We didn’t have a relationship. We had a fling. Something I shouldn’t have let happen in the first place.”
“But you want more.”
Aria shook her head, then nodded and shrugged. “Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know. I would if he were anyone else. But he’s an important guy. Rich. Powerful. You know how I feel about guys like that. Anyway, he’s not interested. He thinks he would be a bad dad, and I know I’m all wrong for him.”
“He’d be lucky to have you,” Avery said matter-of-factly. “It’s obvious he wants you, and you shouldn’t deny yourself because of this bullshit phobia you have of powerful men.”
Aria swallowed her surprise. “It’s not bullshit. I have my reasons for feeling the way I do.” Perfectly logical reasons based on past experience, not some random fear with no basis in the real world. “Anyway, he’s not interested in me for anything more than sex.”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “Are you nuts, Ri? He was sniffing after you as soon as he arrived. Of course he wants more than sex. You’re lovely. How many times has he asked you out?”
“A couple,” Aria admitted. “And thank you. But you’re my friend. You have to say that. He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. He wants to write a cheque once a month and send me on my way.”
“Hey, cheer up.” Sophie sat next to her and put an arm around her waist. “If anyone can convince him otherwise, it’s you.”
“Haven’t you been listening? I don’t want to change his mind.” Her protest sounded weak.
“Of course you do,” Avery said. “And you’ve got several months to do it.”
Aria laughed. “You guys are insane. You know that, right? Okay, if I agree to consider it, will you stop talking? We’ve got a nursery to decorate.”
“Seriously?” Sophie asked, grinning widely.
“Well, yeah. Why did you think I invited you here? I’m going to put you to work. I emptied out the spare room this morning and shifted everything into the garage. We’ve got a blank canvas, girls.”
Even Avery cracked a smile. Before much longer they were busy, and by the end of the day, all that was missing from the nursery was a baby.
Aria sat back after her friends had left and smiled to herself. She was going to make this work, and she was going to be a kickass mother.
In the days since Aria had delivered the news, Eli had revised his budget, freeing up money to cover the exorbitant cost of a new baby, and rescheduled his time, allowing himself one weekend every two months to visit Itirangi. But he found himself wondering if he wanted to do more. Take a chance on being a father and a lover. With Aria around, he’d begun to feel like he could.
Eli missed her. He missed holding her close, missed her flamboyancy and spirit. She’d been a little ray of happiness and had lightened his heart. Bright, colorful and cheerful, she’d pulled him out of a slump and made him want something: her. He wanted her more than anything. He couldn’t help it. He knew he didn’t deserve her, and that his being with her would ruin their child’s life, but Eli had never been good at letting go of something he wanted.
The phone rang, and his heart leapt. He snatched it off the bedside table, hoping to hear Aria’s soft voice on the other end, but he was disappointed.
“Elijah, it’s Frances here.”
“Mother, why are you ringing at”—he checked his watch— “seven in the morning?”
“Did I wake you?”
“No,” he sighed.
“Good. Any respectable businessman would have started his day by now.”
Eli fought the urge to say something rude. He found he cared less and less for what respectable businessmen did. It was the weekend, for god’s sake. “I’m sure they would, Mother.”
“Frankly, I’m appalled at you,” Frances said. “The house where you’re staying is in a state of disrepair, and you allowed Therese to keep an animal and run wild with the local boys.”
Eli wasn’t brave enough to tell her he’d decided to keep the kitten. Well, actually, now a full-grown cat. The damn thing reminded him of Aria, and he enjoyed stroking it while sitting alone in his office late at night.
“Therese’s teacher rang yesterday. It seems she’s been more difficult than usual. When I spoke to her, she demanded to go back to Itirangi and attend public school. I had hoped you would be a good influence on her, but I do wonder if it didn’t work out the other way around.”
The flood of criticisms reminded Eli of his childhood. Nothing he’d done had ever been good enough. Damn, listening to her exhausted him.
“I won’t be in Itirangi much longer,” he replied. “But as far as I’m concerned, Therese is welcome here for as long as I am. And honestly, Frances, what I do with myself really isn’t your concern.”
“As your mother, everything you do is my concern.”
Eli held on to his patience. “What did you ring for, exactly?”
“You’ve been absent from the social scene for too long. There’s a charity ball for the Breast Cancer Society next Saturday evening, eight o’clock, at the Herne Bay Yacht Club. Pick up Therese from school and bring her along. We need to restore your personal image, as well as my faith in you.”
What a tempting offer. Eli hated public events. He hated being in the public eye, under pressure to do and say all the right things. Hated the endless stream of prospective wives Frances threw in his direction. The worst of these was Victoria Burns, who’d tired of her stint on the wild side, left the biker she’d cheated on him with, and befriended his mother to work her way back into his life. Victoria was a flawless blonde with a mercenary personality. Although he approved of mercenary tendencies in business partners, and even casual sex partners, Eli preferred his girlfriends to be softer. More like Aria.
The prospect of his mother thrusting another wife candidate under his nose made him shudder. He needed a shield, something to distract Frances. “Is there room at the table to bring a date?” he asked.
“Of course,” Frances exclaimed. “I can arrange someone, if you’d like.”
Eli cringed. “No need. I have someone in mind.”
If Aria was going to have his child, she should formally meet the family. It would have to happen at some point, though he dreaded it. The thought of subjecting her to his judgmental parents horrified him. Their reaction to his change of circumstances would be extreme. And not in a good way.
“Oh?” Frances expressed her disbelief. “Are you dating someone?”
“Yes.” God forgive him for the lie. It was necessary to preserve his sanity. “I’ll bring her up with Therese. Does it suit for us to arrive at your place at five on Friday?”
“Yes, but—”
“I’m assuming it’s a black-tie occasion?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“I’ll see you then.” Eli hung up, feeling quite pleased with himself.