Eve Mayer
Your goal is firmly in place, and you’ve decided what types of food fuel you and what foods might derail you. How can you give yourself the best chance for success? Some of the answers lie right in the comfort of your home.
It is time to take stock of the spaces you live in and do a clean sweep. Examine your fridge, your cupboards, as well as your car or your desk drawers at work—any place that you spend more than one hour a week. You want to get rid of the sugary and processed foods you’ve decided not to eat most of the time—those tempting, pesky little items so easily accessible that they’ll be magically in your mouth before you realize it.
Start with your kitchen. Identify all the foods you’ve decided to refrain from eating, then get rid of them within twenty-four hours. Donate food items that are acceptable to a food bank and give others to family members or friends. And I know this may make your food-loving heart wilt, but if you cannot donate the food in twenty-four hours, I want you to throw it away. Why? Because the longer food you have decided is harmful to you stays in your home, the better the chance it will end up in your mouth, and you will put off your goals for one more day, one more week, or one more month.
After you’ve cleaned out your kitchen and pantry, you need to repeat the process in the other rooms of your home. See that candy dish? Get rid of it. Replace it with flowers or a keepsake you enjoy. Next, it’s time to examine the contents of your purse, your backpack, your storage area, your car, and your garage. Clean out all the items you were saving for a rainy day. You might be thinking, I’m giving up ice cream most of the time, but I still plan to have it sometimes. Why should I throw it out if it’s far away, in the deep freezer in my garage? Your goal is to make the foods you only want occasionally harder to get. Eating a gallon of ice cream that took you five minutes to retrieve from the garage is easier than driving fifteen minutes to the ice cream store for one scoop. The extra work forces you to examine if you really need that ice cream.
If you live with others who are not eating the same way as you, you likely won’t be able to get rid of their food. However, there are ways to make things a bit easier on yourself. Separate your food from theirs—in the fridge, pantry, and elsewhere—making it clear who the items belong to. If you have the opportunity to cover their food with foil or place it in snack boxes, do so. Out of sight, out of mind!
You want to keep your supply of foods front and center. In the fridge, store veggies in a decorative bowl or on plates you find pleasing to the eye. In the pantry, organize your food neatly, making all healthy choices visible in glass containers. Put labels with your name on the packaging that contains your food, and if you are an overachiever, place a whiteboard in the kitchen or use your phone to create a menu plan for the next few days or week.
Next, let’s examine your workplace. If you work from home, then you already know what to do. Open your desk drawers and give away those chips, granola bars, and candy bars. In fact, do away with all the food items in your office. If you work outside the house, go to the shared work refrigerator and throw out the old food you haven’t yet brought home. Do the same at any location where you might have stored snacks for yourself. Do you always grab pretzels from the break room on your way to the bathroom? Try taking a different route when nature calls. In the next section, I’ll explain the importance of skipping snacks and show you how to go about doing it, but, for now, know that paving the way for new habits is essential to your success with fasting.
If you’re single or living alone, without a roommate, kids, or partner: congratulations, you get to skip this step!
I still remember those blissful single, childless days, stretching out the width of the bed, sleeping till ten on weekends, and having the TV remote all to myself! But then things happened. Marriage, a daughter, a divorce, falling in love, marriage again, and then a puppy. Many of us are living with a roommate, spouse, friend, parent, children, or some combination of people sharing our lives on a day-to-day basis.
The people you make your home with almost always affect most areas of your life, and they can have a huge influence on when and what you eat. Now that you have decided to implement some changes to your diet, it’s important to communicate your plan to them, ask for their support, and in some cases suggest that they join you on this journey.
It’s possible your partner already has some of the behaviors that you wish to adopt. Perhaps they eat healthy foods, don’t snack, or even practice intermittent fasting themselves. If this is the case, you will likely find supportive smiles coming your way when you share your plans for changing your eating.
Some families live together yet rarely eat together because of varying life, school, or other schedules that make it nearly impossible. If this is your situation, there’s not much of a need for getting buy-in from them. But if you eat at least one meal each day with the people you live with, they’ll need to be consulted. While your decision to fast is a very personal one—and you have every right to make it—problems or differing opinions may crop up, and it’s best to prepare yourself for them.
The cornerstone of your relationships is usually your partner, so it’s probably best to discuss your new eating plans with him or her first. Just remember that it doesn’t have to be dramatic. When you start, you are simply testing the waters on fasting, so there is no need to proclaim to your partner that you’ll be fasting every other day for the rest of your life. Instead, start slowly and gently, just as you will with fasting. Tell your partner about your goal, how you plan to reach it, and what type of support you specifically need from him or her. Here are two examples:
Frank, I’d like to lower my blood sugar to healthier levels, so I’m going to snack less between meals. I plan on buying fewer snacks at the store. If there are specific things you want me to get for your snacks, please let me know.
Susie, I’m trying to lose weight, so I’m going to skip breakfast on weekdays. I’d still love to have coffee with you in the morning, but I’m going to get ready for work right after that. Will you please pardon me from breakfast during the weekdays for a while?
Some partners will be happy to cheer you on on your new eating regimen. Other might have feedback or want more information. Listen to your partner’s concerns, take them seriously, and answer them completely. If they ask you a question about food or fasting you can’t answer, tell them you aren’t sure at that moment, but you will get the information to them soon. Then do your research and share what you’ve found with your partner. Our website, FastingLane.com, is a useful and instructive place to start, with blogs, articles, and a podcast. You may need to research again and again! I’m almost two years into my new way of life, and I’m still learning new things every few days.
It is understandable for a partner who cares about you to be worried. I can’t imagine what my response would have been a few years ago if mine had told me he was planning to skip meals. I would have been worried about his mind-set and his health, and I would have warned him that his metabolism was going to slow down (it won’t!). If your partner questions, prods, and explores—just like I would have done—try not to get frustrated. Listen to their questions and be happy that someone cares enough to show concern for you. Use it as a learning opportunity to find the answers you haven’t explored yet.
Next, think about how these changes will affect your partner and address those concerns. Perhaps you’re responsible for cooking for the family, but you want to skip eating dinner on some nights. It is reasonable for your partner to be concerned about how that might affect the rest of the family. Try to anticipate this and address it before you’re asked, then come up with creative solutions that are helpful to both parties. Here is an example:
I’m going to be skipping dinner most Tuesdays for a while. On Mondays, I’m going to cook enough food to have leftovers for Tuesday’s dinner. Could you please eat dinner with the kids on Tuesdays while I take the dog for a run?
I expect your partner to ask questions, show concern, disagree with some of your methods, be curious, and even sometimes buck at the changes you’re proposing. Sometimes you strike gold, and your partner decides to join you. This will certainly make life easier, but if they don’t, ease them in by inviting them to taste the new, healthier dishes you plan to prepare. Ask them to join you at the gym or even to skip breakfast once. Your partner has the right to decline your offer, and it’s important to respect their decision. I understand how frustrating this can be if you live with someone who’s overweight or suffering from weight-related health conditions. You’re probably thinking, The solution is right in front of you! But we can’t force anyone, including our partners, into decisions they haven’t chosen for themselves.
You also deserve kindness from your partner through the changes you are making. It is okay for them to question you, but it is not okay for them to interfere with your progress. If your partner is unsupportive through this process, I would suggest communicating your needs very clearly. You might say something like, I’m making these changes to improve my health. Your love and kindness would be a huge help.
During any time of transition, it’s important to be patient with the people around us. We made the decision to change, not them. We are all so quick to be critical of our partners, and often, I find this is because we have become habitually critical of ourselves. It is so easy to treat our partners with the same cruel voice we hear inside our own head. So, speak kindly to your loved ones, and you may find it easier to speak kindly to yourself.
Megan Ramos
Many couples decide to fast together, which can be beneficial if both parties stick to their plans, don’t sneak food, and remain emotionally supportive of each other. However, if you’re in a male/female partnership and decide to embark upon a fasting lifestyle together, you need to be mindful that your patterns of weight loss may be very different.
Most of the women I’ve worked with have tried every diet out there. Whether it’s Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, or any number of juice cleanses, almost all these weight-loss plans have one thing in common: they focus on reducing calories and increasing energy expenditure. Not only are these ladies demoralized by their continued failure, but their BMRs are at rock bottom. Constant dieting has killed their metabolism.
It’s quite the opposite for men I see for the first time. These men may be carrying twenty, fifty, or one hundred extra pounds, but they haven’t tried many diets. They’ve either ignored their weight gain or been in denial about it, so, unlike their girlfriends or wives, they haven’t obsessed about trying to lose the extra weight. Because of that, their metabolism is still high.
Women are more hormonally complex than men, which makes balancing hormones—a process fasting kick-starts—somewhat tricky. Couple that with vastly different metabolism levels, and men and women who try to fast together can find themselves losing weight at very different rates.
Jason and I have observed the following patterns when it comes to men and women who start to fast:
Typically, men lose more weight with 24-hour fasts, while women may need to do 36-hour fasts to achieve the same degree of weight loss. This may be frustrating to women, but if you manage your expectations as a couple, knowing that each of you can and will reach your goals differently, you can avoid getting upset. Even though men and women lose weight differently, couples often find that dieting and fasting together is easier than apart. Just remember to educate yourself, and always communicate.
Jason Fung
There are several other hormonal changes that occur during fasting, and one of them typically impacts women more than men. I’m talking about the increase of human growth hormone, or HGH.
During a fasted state, the body produces higher levels of HGH, noradrenaline, and cortisol. These three hormones are referred to as the counter-regulatory hormones, and they help increase blood glucose at times when it can’t be derived from food. HGH, which is produced by the pituitary gland and secreted during sleep, is central to healthy growth in children, but it also helps maintain muscles and bone mass in adults. When an adult doesn’t have enough of it in their system, they may develop more body fat and lose bone mass and muscle.
HGH secretions go way up during fasting. In fact, according to a 1988 study, a two-day fast can help you produce five times as much HGH! This is greatly beneficial for men and women because strong, lean, sturdy bodies are better for health than leaner, weaker muscles and skeletal frames. However, a pound of muscle is denser than a pound of fat, so many women are shocked when they step on the scales after a fast and discover that, while their pants fit better, they haven’t lost any weight.
I’ve found that men are less concerned with this issue. They tend not to step on the scale as much, so they don’t care as much about weight. Not so for the women in their households, who tend to feel greater disappointment.
To the women out there reading this book: you don’t need to feel concerned. As Megan explained, over time, women tend to lose weight at an equal pace as the men in their lives. Thanks to HGH, stronger, sturdier muscles and bone mass are the icing on the cake, giving you a healthier body, not just a slimmer one.