Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

Rad raised his head from his check register as Toni entered the den. His heart leapt at the sight of her. She put the suitcase and overnighter down in the doorway. Rad released the air from his lungs slowly to calm himself. Her white sweater molded to her curves. Her form fitting jeans closely followed the contour of her shapely legs. Rad stood, longing to go to her and take her into his arms, but misgivings rooted him to the spot.

“I couldn't wait to tell you the news.” Toni’s face radiated with excitement. “I talked with Mr. Westerly, the president of North Island Power.”

Rad heard a throaty quality in her voice that should only whisper love words.

“I was right all along.” Toni's slow intake of breath lifted her breasts, stretching the thin wool, outlining her nipples. Shadows deepened between her breasts.

Rad couldn't take his eyes off her.

“Think geothermal energy. The day after you bought the station, Mr.

Westerly, unaware of the sale, sent an offer to Orthodox Bell.”

“In other words, Duke.”

“Right.”

Without looking down, Rad tore the check he'd just written out of the register and came from behind his desk to meet Toni in the center of the room. Light from the rustic chandelier danced on her hair. Auburn strands, still slightly damp from showering, were swept up, accenting her slender neck. He longed to reach out and touch the tendrils curled enticingly around her face.

For a moment Toni stared at him with searching eyes. Was parting as difficult for her?

“When Duke received the offer from North Island Power,” she said, “he led Westerly to believe he still had control of your property and promised, as mortgage holder, he could guarantee a sweet deal.”

“And naturally,” Rad said, “everything had to go exclusively through him.”

“Exactly. Pacific Management purposely leaked N.I.P.'s interest to other utility companies. The news caused a bidding war that drove the price up.”

Rad didn't want to talk about any of this now. He longed to take Toni into his arms and make love to her. But he could only offer the dull routine of ranch living in exchange for exciting city life. She’d laugh in his face.

“Tinihanga must've intercepted your mail from the power company,” Toni said, “because he called Mr. Westerly and confirmed that Duke Bell had a power of attorney and full control of your property.”

Rad felt a twinge of bitterness. “It wasn't personal to Tinihanga. Just greed.”

“If it weren't for his gambling and the expenses of keeping Maria Te Pano in high style, he might not have betrayed you.”

Rad shrugged. “You said from the beginning the land was behind the rustling.”

“There were so many twists to this case,” she said softly, “and everything happened so fast it kept us off balance.”

He wanted her to know he'd been wrong. “Even though I didn't make it easy for you, you hung in there, learning about the murders, Tinihanga's gambling, his mistress, and the money he'd paid to Taureka.” Rad shook his head. “I never would have seen the connection between the rustling and the land. It was you who insisted that we go to the mortgage company. And you who came up with the plan to let the sheep led us to Duke.”

“It worked. But I made mistakes.”

He liked that about her. She was confident yet humble. “Greed wasn’t all that drove Duke,” Rad said. “Hatred had been eating away at him since childhood.”

“Doesn't that sound familiar?” Her eyes, the greenest and most direct he'd ever seen, held his. Suddenly the parallel between him and Duke was all too clear.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a way of hitting a man where it hurts?”

She moistened her lips. “I would never want to hurt you, Rad.”

Her sensual lips reminded him of the night they'd spent in the cave, those warm lips pulsing and opening beneath his own. He could almost feel her tracing her slender fingers teasingly over the tattoos on his hips. “I know that.” Not intentionally, he thought. He took a step toward her and stopped. Touching her now would be a mistake. He wouldn't be satisfied with just one more night with her.

She lifted her hand as if to reach out to him, then dropped it at her side. He sensed that she, too, struggled with her desires. It would be so easy to forget the problems keeping them apart. Easy but dangerous. “Well, it's over,” he said, barely able to speak. “Now we can get on with our lives.” Rad handed Toni the check. “For a job well done.” As their fingers brushed, Rad felt the electricity shoot along his nerve endings.

Toni’s eyes widened as though she felt it, too. Then she lowered them and glanced at the check. “I feel guilty for taking this.”

“You earned every penny. And then some.”

“The documents the constable found in Duke's safe proved he stole my step-dad's sheep station.” She said softly. “So I got what I wanted out of the case, justice for Mom.”

“There's nothing wrong with having it all.”

“Isn't there?” An emotion Rad couldn't identify flicked in Toni's eyes.

“Absolutely nothing.” As Rad said it, he wondered if he believed that. If it were true, why couldn't he have her? “I take back everything I said about a woman detective. No one could have done a better job.”

“Most detective work is luck. Perhaps if the monitors had been delivered on time, I would've solved this case sooner, and you wouldn't have lost as many sheep, and maybe Kama and Damon would still be alive.”

“Don't beat yourself up over something out of your control.”

As Rad's gaze met Toni's, he tried to remember what his life was like before she came into it. He searched his mind for the things they had in common. All he could think of, other than the poignant, fiery passion they'd shared, was that they both loved Tukaha. “We're going to miss you.”

Toni put her hands on her hips. “Radford Manawa-Nui Murdoch, you've been trying to get rid of me since the first day we met.”

Rad felt confused. Although moisture glistened in her eyes, she also had playful lights dancing in them.

He wanted to shout that he could put up with her for the rest of his life. Yet he didn't dare. She was a townie. A city woman like Toni would never be satisfied with station life. He’d only make a fool of himself if he asked her to stay forever. “You're welcome to stay as long as you like. I think you know that by now.”

“Be careful what you say.” A quirky little smile played on her lips. She took a step toward him.

Rad stuck his hands into his jeans pockets to keep from reaching out and taking her into his arms. She was giving him every opportunity to say what was on his mind, but a lifetime of prejudice stopped him. His gut ached as he imagined what it would be like when she was gone.

A gust of wind blew the draperies, and the fragrance of his rose garden swirled around him. The scent reminded him of his grandmother. “You're a detective,” he said. “Before you go perhaps you can solve a family mystery for me.”

“Try me,” she said, shifting her weight. The green in her eyes darkened. By now he knew the color deepened whenever she was puzzled.

“In spite of my tupuna's strong belief in retaining the Maori culture she married a pakeha.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “And so did my mother.”

“They fell in love and followed their hearts,” Toni said softly.

“You make it sound so simple.”

****

Toni heard the agony in Rad's voice and understood its cause. She knew enough about him to realize that his obsession with his Maori heritage was why he denied the strong feelings between them. If only they had more time together maybe she could make him realize that love was enough. She sighed. But was it really? She had her own set of doubts whether a relationship with a rancher could ever work for her. The scary truth was she wanted very much to try.

She smiled, hoping her outward calm concealed her inward turmoil.

“My taxi's waiting.”

“Toni, wait.” His eyes revealed an inner battle.

“Yes?” She needed to feel his arms around her. Her heart raced, and her knees went weak.

“I want you to know that you brought a brightness into this house that was missing. And I, that is Tukaha and I, have enjoyed having you here.”

Her heartbeat pulsed wildly. “Me too, being here.”

He walked her to the taxi, then stood there like a stick man. His aloofness confirmed the problem: he wanted a Maori woman.Toni closed her eyes against the tears. She'd broken the rules, and now she had to pay with a broken heart.

****

As the sky outside the picture window darkened, Rad heard footsteps coming toward the den. He looked up. His heart pounded, then slowed as he saw that it was only Tukaha.

“I saw the light and came to say goodnight before heading home. Where's Toni?”

“Gone.” Rad took a swig of his bourbon, enjoying the slight burning sensation as it slid down his throat. The heat of the fireplace at his back and the liquor provided a pale substitute for the heat he desired. “Want a drink?”

Tukaha poured himself a shot from the bottle on the desk, then sank down in the big leather chair facing the fireplace.

“You're going after her, aren't you, boss?”

“I invited her to stay as long as she liked.”

“Same as you’d offer any guest, ae, boss? That's not what she wanted to hear.”

“It's the best I can do right now,” Rad said

“But you love each other. Even a blind man could see that.”

“Since you're so interested in love,” Rad said, “go home and make love to your wife, and leave me to handle my own affair.”

Tukaha's expression didn't change. “But you're not handling it.” He settled deeper into the chair as though planning to stay a while.

“How is the new man doing?” Rad asked, determined to change the subject.

“The man is fine. The dogs, the shearing, and the whole blasted world is fine. It's you who's messed up.”

Rad frowned. It seemedTukaha wasn't leaving until they discussed this.

“You think you're some kind of philosopher, don't you?”

“I've been with you a long time, boss. I know your heart.”

“She's not a Maori.”

Tukaha made a sound of disgust. “You're not a boy anymore; shove the boyish fixations aside.”

“What the blazes are you talking about?” Although Rad didn't like where the conversation was going he seemed propelled into it, needing it like a thirsty man craves water.

“Your hang-ups about holding onto your Maori ways with both fists are understandable. You were only five years old when that lowlife brutally shot your beloved tupuna before your eyes. The horror and trauma deeply scarred your soul. And you’re still trying to make it up to her. But you can’t. She’s gone. Never forget what happened. It’s your history, your heritage. But realize it for what it was. Quit blaming yourself. And forget about marrying a Maori woman.”

Rad drained his drink. “I never found the right one,” he said, pouring another. As he started to refill Tukaha's glass, his old friend shook his head and placed his vein-lined hand over the glass.

“That's my point. You've finally found her. And her bloodline doesn’t matter. Drop your shield, and follow your heart.”

“But I can't make a mistake. I can't hurt her.”

“It's right between you, Boss. I knew it the moment I met her, and you did, too.”

“She's a townie. What if she can't give that up?”

“So that's it. You don't think she loves you enough.” Tukaha shook his head. “Youth makes things so complicated. Just ask her.”

After Tukaha left, Rad thought about his words. He wanted Toni. But he couldn't ask her to give up the city life. And he couldn't leave his station. It was impossible.

He turned off the lights and watched the fire burn down to glowing embers. He buried his head in his hands, already aching from the imminent loss.