Ask yourself the following questions. If the answers are yes, I hope the subsequent advice/suggestions may be of help to you:
• Are you self-medicating on drink/drugs?
• Do you think you have a problem with drink/drugs?
It may be difficult for you to tell anyone about your situation, but speaking to your GP would really be a positive step for you. If you can do this, try to be as honest as you can; it will help you more in the long term. Asking for help is one of the most courageous acts you can do for yourself.
If you want to try other routes before speaking to your GP, you can search for alcohol and drug services in your area; they can be a one-stop shop for recovery from alcohol and drug problems. Many will be able to point you in the right direction for assistance with your non-visible injuries. If you do not want to disclose that, it’s okay; getting off the drink and drugs is a huge personal step in your fight back to health. I can guarantee that by sorting these issues or at least taking steps in the right direction it will benefit you.
There are also mutual aid groups. These are groups usually put together by others in recovery, like the twelve-step programme where like-minded people help each other in the process of recovery. There are plenty out there. Start searching online for what is near to you.
There are also many veterans’ groups/charities that can assist you in your area:
• The Royal British Legion: http://www.britishlegion.org.uk
• SSAFA: https://www.ssafa.org.uk
These two have stood the test of time and are good anchor-points for gaining more access to more services. If you are unable to leave the house but you have internet access, it may be slower but at least it will be a starting-point. Search for online recovery sites; there are literally thousands worldwide and some are even veteran-specific. Get in contact. You can chat over Skype and so on to like-minded people. You will start to mend. These are all positive steps.
Try to aim to leave the house once a day, even if it’s only to the end of the street or to a local park. Get into nature; even staring at dogs running around in the park works wonders.
This all takes time but admitting to yourself that you need help is the biggest step. So well done for being honest and courageous with yourself and give yourself a break. You’re injured. It is perfectly natural to feel how you feel. Sod everybody else. This is about you and saving your life. If you are not ready for this at the moment, then that’s cool too.
If you’re still at the height of the drink and drugs phase, well if I said stop, would you? I didn’t. So let’s use the tools that you have, that is, the drink and drugs. You’re going to be in some fantasy land while consuming them before the paranoia sets in, so turn it to your advantage. Start dreaming that you’re going to get better and get off the drink and drugs, even if you’re going to do it to become a porn star; just go with it. Start seeing yourself on the other side of recovery, looking healthy, fitter and so on. It’s your dream, so dream big. Visualize yourself after treatment. Feel how good that feels. Work with it. Try positive meditation on YouTube. Do some every day. It doesn’t happen overnight but keep going. See your life after getting help. Picture all the good things. It doesn’t matter if you’re Napoleon on the sofa; it all begins with a thought. I think, therefore I am.