Of course, you already know that Melvin has left the building. It’s how the last chapter ended, but the narrator just wanted to name this chapter that for some reason. It’s a narrator thing.
“Up, up, and away.”
Once outside the two superheroes launched themselves. At least Candace did. While she was waiting for Melvin to join her in the air, she didn’t do her nails or juggle tangerines. This was because she was carrying James, who didn’t have his cape yet and couldn’t fly.
Crash!
Splat!
Thud!
Kabonk!
James had never seen a superhero have so much trouble getting up in the air. The Melvin he knew had not yet received his cape. James looked at Candace for some kind of explanation.
“Don’t ask,” she said.
And so James didn’t. He pointed out the way to Sinister Street and Devious Drive. “It’s over there, next to Ruffian Road and Bad Guy Boulevard.”
* * *
“We need bologna,” Goofball said. They had been running most of the night to get as far away from the academy as possible. Sure, the students slept with their capes off, but you never knew. Besides, that many superheroes in one place had to be a bad thing. At least it was if you were a bad guy. And Goofball and Company were.
Max licked his lips and looked across the street at Priscilla’s Pancake Heaven. “I’d prefer pancakes.” He had the young Melvin slung over his shoulders. If Melvin hadn’t been gagged he would have licked his lips, too. Priscilla made the best pancakes on the East Coast.
“Not for us. We need the bologna in case the other Melvin shows up. The superhero version, I mean. Bologna is his weakness.”
Calamity shook his head. “Melvin is history. I dusted him and his little sidekick with bug spray. They fell on a pair of cactus and got eaten by alligators.”
“Yeah,” Goofball said, “but what about the narrator? It would be like him to bring Melvin back. And you watch, it will be just in the nick of time or something.”
It was too distressing to argue about. It was as though the narrator wanted the main character to win. Bologna was what they needed, Goofball decided. Just in case the other Melvin Beederman came back—not to mention Candace Brinkwater.
They found an open butcher shop on East Ruffian. Goofball went inside, banged his fist on the counter, and said, “Bologna! And give it to me on dirty paper!”
