The prison where they sent Goofball, Max, and Wayne was very crowded, so much so that the warden put all three of them in the same cell until he could find room for them. Unfortunately, this was the very cell they had used to hold Grunge McNasty, that notorious bank robber and all-around bad guy. On the floor of the cell was a large piece of plywood and beneath it was a hole in the floor, leading to the tunnel dug by the McNasty Sisters when they broke their brothers out of prison.
“Holy dumb prison workers!” said Goofball. “Let’s get out of here.”
Holy dumb prison workers, indeed! They did. They jumped into the hole and followed the tunnel to freedom. Once outside the prison, they ran. They ran and ran and ran. But where to go? They couldn’t go back to their lair on Lair Hill. The police already knew about it. More important, so did Melvin Beederman.
Speaking of Melvin …
“We have to do something about Melvin Beederman,” Goofball said, “or we’ll never be able to pull any more sinister or devious deeds. Any ideas?”
Max was busy doing push-ups. He stopped and thought. He couldn’t flex his muscles and think at the same time.
Calamity put on his thinking cap. It was green with white stripes.
“We need a new place to live, and we need to find a way to get rid of Melvin Beederman,” said Goofball. He looked at his two companions. Calamity wasn’t known for his ability to think, but that didn’t mean Max didn’t have any ideas.
“How about Big Al’s?” Max said.
“Yes, Big Al will know what to do,” Goofball said.
* * *
Big Al’s Rent-a-Lair was the place to go if you were a bad guy looking for a place to live. He also sold all kinds of bad guy gadgets, things to make a good guy’s life miserable. If anyone could help them with their Beederman problems, Big Al could. After all, Big Al had been serving Southern California’s bad guys since 1985.
“Can I interest you in a new lair?” Al asked, when Goofball and Company arrived.
“Yes,” Goofball said. “We’d also like to see what you have in the defeat-a-superhero department.”
Big Al nodded. He knew which superhero they had in mind. “I think I may have just the thing. It’s in my office. Follow me.” The three bad guys followed Al past the latest lair models in the showroom to the office in the back of the store. He pointed to a large box.
“What is it?” Max asked.
“It’s the very latest thing. You want to get rid of Melvin Beederman, right? This is the way to do it.”
Of course, this didn’t exactly answer Max’s question. “What is it?” he asked again.
“It’s a time machine,” Big Al said proudly. “Melvin Beederman is one tough superhero. He’s faster than you. He’s stronger than you. He can see your underwear.”
“You can say that again,” Max said.
“He can see your underwear. You can’t beat him at this stage in his life. That’s where the time machine comes in. Go back in time. Get him before he becomes powerful.”
“Holy brilliant idea!” Goofball said. “We’ll take it.”
Holy brilliant idea, indeed! They did. They bought the time traveling device and a basic lair, which they had delivered to Lair Hill. With any luck, Melvin Beederman would soon be history.
But what about his sidekick? What about Candace Brinkwater?
Speaking of Candace Brinkwater …
While the three bad guys were busy setting up their new lair and putting together their time machine, Melvin Beederman was with his partner in uncrime, Candace Brinkwater. School had just let out, and the two of them met at the public library so that Melvin could help her with math. This was how it went every day. Melvin helped Candace with math, and she helped him save the world.
“What’s the latest?” Candace asked as she worked an addition problem.
“Bad news. Goofball McCluskey, Max the Wonder Thug, and Calamity Wayne escaped from prison.”
“Holy I’m-one-peeved-sidekick!”
Holy she’s-one-peeved-sidekick, indeed! She was. She hated when the bad guys escaped from prison. But at least it gave her something to do … after her homework was finished, that is.
“You forgot to carry the one,” Melvin said, pointing to Candace’s worksheet. “Hurry up. We have to catch those guys.”