Off his rocker, indeed! But let’s get back to our story.
Yes, Goofball and Company had their time machine ready to go, but all was not well on Lair Hill. Melvin Beederman and Candace Brinkwater were on patrol, and they were closing in.
“What do you see, Melvin?” Candace asked as they scanned the lairs below.
“Dirty underwear, and way too much of it!”
“Besides that.”
Melvin held up a hand. “Hold on. I hear something.” He hovered in place and listened. It was coming from one of the lairs. “Some guys are discussing the narrator.”
“So?” Candace said.
“So it may be Goofball and Company. Come on.” Melvin zoomed ahead and Candace followed.
Discussing the narrator wasn’t a sure sign that it was the bad guys they were looking for. Maybe it was a book club. But something, or someone, told Melvin that he was on the right track. Actually, what told him was the guy telling the story.
But that’s a little too much narrator intrusion, even for this book.
Melvin dropped a little lower and continued to listen. “Now they’re talking about something else. Time travel.”
“I hear it,” Candace said, gazing at her partner in uncrime. “They’re saying something about Melvin Beederman, too.”
* * *
Goofball McCluskey set the dials on the time machine for when Melvin was still at the academy. This was going to be fun, he thought. “Strap in, guys,” he told Max and Calamity. “Let’s go make his life miserable.”
The three partners in crime took their places in the time machine and fastened their seat belts. The directions said that re-entry could be a little rough. You had to be strapped in to avoid injury.
“Ready?” Goofball asked.
“Roger that,” Max said.
“Who’s Roger?” Calamity asked.
Goofball pushed the START button and the machine roared to life. “Hold on! Here we go.”
They did. But not right away. Not before the machine got louder and louder. Loud enough to attract the attention of a couple of superheroes.
* * *
Melvin and Candace swooped from the sky. They found the house where the guys had been discussing the narrator. It was the same place where they had been discussing time travel—and Melvin Beederman. Now there was some machine making all kinds of noise.
Melvin pointed to the front door of the lair. “Candace, do the honors.” It was her turn to kick in the door. He’d kicked in the last one.
“GLADLY,” Candace shouted above the sound of the screaming machine. She kicked in the door. Then she and Melvin rushed into the room.
“Not so fast!” Melvin said. But they were too late. They caught a glimpse of three men seat-belted into some kind of machine. And then it vanished right before their eyes.
“Holy what-the-heck-was-that?” Melvin said.
Holy what-the-heck-was-that, indeed! Don’t you know a time machine when you see it, Melvin? He didn’t.
Melvin looked at his partner in uncrime. “Was I seeing things, or did three guys just disappear?”
“I saw it, too,” Candace said. “And not just any guys … that was Goofball McCluskey, Max the Wonder Thug, and Calamity Wayne.”
“Yes.” Melvin nodded. “I’d recognize Max’s thick neck anywhere.”
The two superheroes began looking around the room for clues. It didn’t take a genius to realize something sinister was afoot. Or maybe it was something devious. And maybe it wasn’t a foot—it could have been an ankle. The point is, you have to be concerned when three of the worst criminals in Los Angeles vanish before your eyes.
Candace walked over to a table that was covered with sheets of paper. “Melvin, look at this.”
“Looks like directions for putting together a time machine,” Melvin said. He picked up a sheet for a closer look. When he did he saw a note beneath it: Melvin Beederman … Superhero Academy.
“Any ideas, Candace?”
“Hmm. Your name, the name of your school, and a time machine,” Candace said, staring at the papers on the table. “Why would bad guys want to travel in time?”
“They’re history buffs?” suggested Melvin. He shook his head. No, it was something else.
“Do you think they went into the future?” Candace asked.
Melvin thought about this. Then looked again at the paper with his name and school. “Holy my-goose-is-cooked! No, not the future. The past!” Melvin pointed. “They are headed to the Superhero Academy to get me—the younger me!”
Holy his-goose-is-cooked, indeed! That was a fine bit of detective thinking, Melvin. But how are you going to go back in time without a time machine?
“How am I, indeed!” Melvin said.
Candace looked confused. It wasn’t easy being in a story when you didn’t know who was narrating.