Are you troubled by memories of difficult times? Do you worry over current concerns? This chapter will explore another very useful strategy: using writing to help settle negatively charged memories and worries. You might think of expressive writing as experiencing compassion through journaling. This strategy involves more verbalizing than those in the previous two chapters do.
Research has clearly shown that old emotional wounds don’t necessarily heal with time. Left unresolved, they can exert an influence that affects present health and functioning. For example, the number of adverse childhood experiences is directly correlated with an adult’s likelihood of suffering from obesity, diabetes, heart disease, depression, suicide attempts, tobacco and intravenous drug use, alcoholism, unintended pregnancy, and poor job performance (Felitti 2002). Often we focus on the smoke (the psychological, medical, or functional symptoms) without addressing the flame (the underlying emotional wounds). Recognizing the relationship between childhood trauma and suffering in adulthood offers people a great opportunity to heal.
The psychologist James W. Pennebaker (1997) reasoned that “keeping it all inside” was not healthy. He asked various groups, ranging from students to survivors of the Holocaust, the San Francisco earthquake, the Gulf War, and job firings, to simply write about their most difficult adversities. He instructed them to put down their deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding the event, writing continuously for fifteen to thirty minutes for four days. Pennebaker was surprised by the number of traumas experienced by people who appeared “normal” on the outside. The traumas were wide ranging, from rape, physical and sexual abuse, suicide attempts, and accidentally causing deaths to being blamed for parents’ divorces. People were least likely to confide childhood traumas—especially sexual traumas—but those were also the ones most likely to cause illness later in life. Understandably, moods slipped during the four days of writing. But afterward, those who confided in writing showed better physical and psychological health. They showed less depression, anxiety, and stress and experienced greater self-esteem, stronger immunity, and fewer illnesses. Those who wrote about losing their jobs found new employment more quickly.
Pennebaker and Smyth (2016) and other researchers have linked writing about past adversities to improved sleep, job satisfaction, memory, and grades and reductions in pain, fatigue, general distress, PTSD symptoms, arthritis, and asthma. Undisclosed wounds that are not processed and expressed verbally often intrude painfully into awareness and are expressed in bodily and psychological symptoms, including nightmares. They also compete with attentional resources, interfering with daily functioning. Slowing down to put painful memories into words helps the brain organize, neutralize, complete, and settle them. People who write about their troubling memories often report that they understand them better and are less troubled by them, finding it easier to move on. The process is like opening a bullet wound in order to help it drain and heal. People realize that they can express their feelings, even with tears, and then return to a stronger “normal.”
Confiding in writing seems to particularly help those who have never told anyone about a distressing event (for example, for fear of embarrassment or punishment) but wish they could have. Keeping secrets is fatiguing and tends to isolate people. You might try confiding in writing for any past trauma or adversity that still troubles you, including the loss of a loved one, a breakup, moving, a parents’ divorce, or anything else you’d like to forget, avoid, or resolve. It is comforting to realize that we can confront what we have run from, and in so doing overcome our aversion to the memories.
The following guidelines for disclosing in writing are adapted, with permission, from Dr. Pennebaker’s website (https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/psychology/faculty/pennebak#writing-health).
Over the next four days, I want you to write about your deepest emotions and thoughts about the most upsetting experience in your life. [Start by describing the facts, then the emotions and thoughts.] Really let go and explore your feelings and thoughts about it. In your writing, you might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now, or even your career. How is this experience related to who you would like to become, who you have been in the past, or who you are now?
Many people have not had a single traumatic experience, but all of us have had major conflicts or stressors in our lives and you can write about them as well. You can write about the same issue every day or a series of different issues. Whatever you choose to write about, however, it is critical that you really let go and explore your very deepest emotions and thoughts.
In addition to the basic writing guidelines, these considerations might also be useful. They are adapted from the writings of Pennebaker and his colleagues (Pennebaker 1997, Pennebaker and Evans 2014, Pennebaker and Smyth 2016)
The bottom line is this: If you want to reduce distress, try keeping a journal that no one but you will see. Write down the facts, thoughts, and feelings regarding either past adversities or present worries. It is rare for such a simple, inexpensive strategy to be so effective. Remember to add this tool to your coping toolbox.