After a somewhat stilted goodbye, Annie watched Sam leave in the taxi that he had booked himself on Saturday morning. He wouldn’t be back for at least a fortnight. Going inside the house, it suddenly felt very big and empty without anyone else there. Rose was planning on keeping herself busy with hospital visits and various social clubs and would be out every day. Annie was also planning to go up to the hospital every other day, but apart from that, she would be on her own much of the time.
She made herself some marmite and toast for lunch and wandered all the way up to the staff quarters. Thankfully, her bedroom gave her a small amount of comfort. It was her very own personal space and something to treasure after a decade sharing a cramped cabin on the ship with other members of staff.
She sank down on the bed and pulled open the drawer in the rickety bedside table. There wasn’t much in there. Some photographs of her dad playing with her in the garden. A couple of her mum, but not as many. Her hand dug through it all until it reached the bottom of the pile. She connected with the plastic and drew it out. She stared down at the CD case which was slightly battered after frequently being packed and unpacked. The familiar rock band on the cover looked back at her, but her eyes were, as always, drawn to the man in the middle. How would any other man compare? How could they? The photo was all she had now. A memory but it was all hers.
*
Annie stood on the deck and stared out across the dark Baltic Sea, clutching her coat around her to keep warm.
It wasn’t the prettiest view, especially on a grey October evening but she didn’t care.
It was all about escape for her. Escape from her stepdad who was a little too free and easy with the back of his hand across her cheek. Escape from her mum who just let it happen. Escape from everything to do with her home life.
Besides, she had just applied for a Mediterranean route with a new holiday firm. She was looking forward to spectacular sunsets and the feeling of warmth from a hot sun on her skin.
Most of the crew had gone ashore to sample the many beers in Stockholm on their one night off but Annie hadn’t been interested. Her roommate was being a bit of a pain and Annie just needed some time alone. She’d had her dinner and had a bit of time to kill before her shift started. But she felt as if she was missing something. Craving something. She just didn’t know what it was.
She was wandering along the deck when she saw him.
She had caught Rocky Relationship’s set earlier the previous evening. They were a new band who had played one of the smaller lounges. Their music was loud and not entirely in tune but that didn’t matter to Annie. She had stared in lust at Steve Bailey, the lead singer.
He was tall and wiry but good-looking. She had never seen anyone so full of energy and power. He bounced about the stage, playing his guitar and flicking back his long black hair. The mostly middle-aged crowd had been less impressed than she had. But Annie had been mesmerised especially when they had finished their set with the song that was destined to propel Steve and Rocky Relationship to their only top forty hit.
Now there he was, a mere couple of hours later, leaning up against the railings and inhaling on a cigarette.
From somewhere, she found enough courage to walk up to him and lean on the side of the rail as nonchalantly as she could muster. ‘Hi,’ she said, trying to keep her tone as casual as she could. But inside, her heart was racing.
Up close, he was even more handsome, the energy still humming from his body. His eyes glittered as he gave her a slow once-over. She was wearing leggings which clung to her long legs. Realising that her baggy parka wasn’t very flattering, she leaned over more to let it hang open and reveal her fitted red jumper which had a low V-neck.
‘Well, what have we got here?’ he asked her, his cockney accent coming through strong. ‘What’s your name, lovely?’
‘Annie,’ she stammered, staring at him with her huge, green eyes.
‘What do you think of them?’ He nodded towards a nearby window from which she could hear a far more crowd-pleasing Coldplay tribute band that were playing on stage.
She gave a casual shrug. ‘They’re OK.’
‘They’re shit,’ he told her, before taking one last drag on his cigarette and then flicking it away.
‘Well, they aren’t as good as you,’ she told him, blushing.
‘You caught our set?’
She nodded.
He slowly moved towards her, placing a hand on the rail behind her so that she was trapped. ‘What did you think?’
‘It was OK,’ she told him, trying not to sound like a groupie. She carefully flicked out a strand of her long, blonde hair that had got stuck in her zip.
‘Beautiful hair,’ he murmured, stepping even closer.
She stayed still, not wanting to do anything that could break the magic of the moment.
‘Hey, Annie!’ came a shout from nearby.
Steve turned his head but didn’t move away from her, keeping his close proximity. She could feel his breath on her skin.
‘Come on!’ shouted her crewmate from a nearby doorway. ‘Our shift starts in five minutes.’
Annie sighed. ‘Sorry,’ she told Steve with a reluctant shrug. ‘I’ve got to work.’
‘Don’t you worry, gorgeous,’ he replied, stroking her cheek. ‘I’ll find you if I have to search this great big ugly ship from top to bottom.’
He showed up at her cabin door two days later. She never found out how he had discovered her room number. How he had arranged for a meal for just the two of them in a private room. How he knew that the Northern Lights would appear when they had gone for a moonlit stroll on the top deck the following night. Then he had reached out and taken her hand, leading her away from the green-streaked night sky and down the steps towards his cabin.
*
Annie stared down at the CD case before slipping it back into her bedside drawer.
It was in her past but that was all she had now to cling onto. Especially now she wasn’t sure where her future was going to be.
*
Continuing her mission to prove herself a better housekeeper to Sam, Annie carried on cleaning the ground floor over the weekend.
Of course, the bleach she had used didn’t actually help the stain on the wallpaper and left quite a mark, but she’d managed to move a lampshade across in front of it to hide the evidence.
Rose was totally bemused by Annie’s rare show of housework. ‘You know, no woman ever got an orgasm from cleaning the floor,’ she declared.
Beryl, who had arrived for a cup of tea, shook her head. ‘It’s all sexual innuendos with you,’ she said, rolling her eyes. But even she took a sniff of air in the kitchen. ‘Has someone had fish and chips for lunch?’
Annie shook her head. ‘Apparently white vinegar is the best all-round cleaner in the kitchen,’ she said, trying to sound confident. But she had forgotten to pick up white vinegar and had used malt instead which hadn’t had quite the same effect that she had been hoping for.
‘When do the builders arrive?’ asked Beryl.
‘Monday morning,’ said Annie, trying not to sound concerned about the thought of Kevin Jacobs and his team of builders. Anyway, perhaps it wouldn’t be that bad.
‘We really don’t need anyone fiddling about with the house,’ said Rose, before leaving the room to put on her make-up for the Women’s Institute lunch later that morning.
‘Like we had any choice about the matter,’ muttered Annie, putting down the mop and sinking onto a chair with exhaustion.
‘Well, he might be a bit bossy but what a handsome young man Mr Samuel has grown into.’
Annie looked up to find Beryl smiling and winking at her. ‘Don’t even think about it,’ said Annie, shaking her head.
Beryl groaned as she too sat down. ‘I’ll keep trying to pair you up with somebody, lass.’
‘Most definitely not him,’ said Annie. ‘Or anyone, come to think of it.’
‘Don’t you think you’ve spent enough time on your own?’ said Beryl.
Annie shook her head. ‘I keep telling you that I’m fine. I really am.’
She wasn’t sure which one of them she was trying to convince. For all her gentle nagging, Beryl had become a surrogate grandmother to her. It comforted her to see that her hair had been given its usual perm and she was dressed in many thick layers to keep out the cold of the house, which she seemed to feel more these days. Beryl might have complain about being retired but Annie knew that the cook’s fingers had become stiff with age and arthritis and she had trouble picking up the heavy tins and saucepans.
‘They always were good-looking boys,’ said Beryl, who wasn’t going to let the subject of Sam slip, unfortunately. ‘Shame he and the Earl fell out.’
‘What happened?’ asked Annie, torn between wanting to hate him but desperate to know the circumstances.
‘I’m not sure,’ Beryl told her, her forehead creasing as she tried to remember. ‘There was never any problems in the early days. He and Mr William were always visiting with their parents. Oh, I can still hear the laughter as they played hide and seek. Youngsters always bring a bit of a life to a home, don’t they? Especially one as big as this.’
Annie thought back to her own childhood where there had always been so much happiness to begin with.
‘Then their parents died. It was a terrible car accident. Dreadful, dark times. The boys came to live here. Awful to see them so upset.’
Annie felt a pang of her own grief deep inside. She knew what it was like to lose a loved parent but not both of them at the same time. Not that she ever heard from her mum these days so she might as well be an orphan.
‘But their grandmother, the Countess, she was something special,’ said Beryl, smiling at the memory. ‘She had that motherly instinct to comfort them. Of course, she was grieving too for her only son but she never showed it to them. They were still so young, you see?’
‘How old were they?’
‘Let me see. Mr Samuel must have been in his mid-teens. Mr William a few years younger than that.’
Annie realised that they hadn’t been too much older than when she had suffered her own loss.
‘Anyway, the Countess was a real lady. It was such a shame you didn’t get to meet her. Of course, she didn’t tell anyone about the diagnosis until it was too late.’
‘Not even the Earl?’
Beryl shook her head sadly. ‘Not even him, poor man. I’ve never seen anyone so devastated. She was the love of his life, you know? When he lost her, well, it was like the life went out of him. That was just before you came. Well, you’ve seen how sad he is.’
‘So what happened with Sam?’
Why on earth had she blurted that out to Beryl of all people? Why couldn’t she have asked about both Sam and Will?
‘I don’t know. All I know was they kept on arguing until it all came to a head about a year ago around Christmas time. Whatever was said between them, Mr Samuel hasn’t been back since.’ Beryl nodded thoughtfully. ‘Maybe it’s a good sign that he’s returned.’
Annie thought back to the row at the hospital between Arthur and his grandson. ‘Why doesn’t Sam want the inheritance?’
‘Maybe he’s a bit too like his father,’ said Beryl. ‘Edward wasn’t too keen on having to manage the estate either. He used to fight with Arthur about it as well. Turns out that he had even bought a house in Australia that the family were going to move to.’
Annie was amazed. ‘And leave Arthur and Beatrice here on their own?’
Beryl nodded. ‘Arthur was so upset when he found out about the house after they had died. I’m not sure they even got as far as telling the boys about it. Mind you, a place this big can be too big a responsibility for some people.’
Annie stared around the run-down kitchen. ‘Was it always like this? I thought Rose said that there had been big parties and royalty visiting in the old days.’
‘Oh yes. There was money at one time. I mean, they weren’t swimming in it, but there was enough to keep the place ticking over. And, of course, it was a working estate. Farmland and deer, that kind of thing. But what with taxes and big bills needing to be paid, any income just sort of dried up.’ Beryl gave her a teary smile. ‘Still, at least Samuel is getting the place back into a fit and proper state for when Arthur returns.’
Annie bit her lip. Beryl would be terribly upset if she thought there was a possibility that Willow Tree Hall would be sold. So she would keep quiet until she knew Sam’s plans for definite. Then she would come up with a plan to save Willow Tree Hall for Arthur and Rose.
And maybe for herself as well.