Quinn
I spent a glorious week and a half exploring Las Vegas with Bailey, the children, and our menagerie of animals. At night, the instant one of my relatives retrieved the children and the pets, I did all the little things I hadn’t been able to do in New York. I took Bailey out to dinner. Whenever a show caught her eye, I got tickets so we could see it. We went to the aquarium. I even managed to wrangle a helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon with a sunset dinner and champagne.
She soaked everything in, and much like a flower finally given enough sunlight to thrive, she bloomed. Her joy became even more intoxicating than alcohol, and I almost regretted I hadn’t been fired like Chief Morriston likely desired.
Such days would be few and far between in our future, but they would happen.
Somehow, between the kids, between our work, and between everything, I’d see to it.
I’d show her that the future was something to cherish and look forward to. I’d turn the world upside down to make it happen for her, even if it took me our entire lifetimes to accomplish it.
True to the Devil’s word, we didn’t have to do much to plan our wedding, although I hit a snarl I wasn’t sure I could overcome.
Bailey wanted to fight for the kids as she’d been taught, determined to prove she’d do anything to be worthy of being a mother, even suffer through the flames of hell. She refused to be a mistake in their young lives.
The children weren’t interested in a fight. They’d already made their decision. It’d only taken a look for them to fall in love with her. Bailey hadn’t even needed a look.
She’d only needed to know there were children who needed her.
Some things were meant to be. I’d have a harder time of it than Bailey, but it was a battle I’d face with a smile. Bailey was, from that very first look, their mother.
It’d take time for them to truly accept me as their father. In time, I would teach them their little hearts had enough room for me along with the memory of their true father, who’d paid the ultimate price for their sake. I still hoped I could lay his ghost to rest so they could have closure, but I already knew the truth. I wouldn’t.
Angels couldn’t lie. Well, angels could lie, but they’d cease being an angel the instant they spoke a falsehood.
Christmas morning rolled around, and the two children lost their minds from the instant they woke up until presents, an obscene number of them, arrived by archangel. The Devil played Santa, something so absurd Bailey almost made herself sick laughing. I’d barely saved her from losing her breakfast by slapping my hand over her mouth and forcing her to breathe from her nose instead of swallowing air.
Patting her back resulted in a belch so epic my entire family stopped and stared at her.
“Oops,” she whispered before hiccuping. She pointed at the Devil. “He’s wearing a Santa hat. How can you expect me to not laugh?”
It wasn’t until I focused on her to make certain she wasn’t about to lose her breakfast again, that I realized we’d been played just like Perkins had asked for me to play his wife for Christmas.
I considered the likely culprits and picked the Devil as the one most likely to screw around with my evening ritual of preventing any unexpected additions to our family.
“Oops,” he said with an evil smirk.
I turned an accusing eye on my grandfather, one of the few beings alive capable of potentially stopping the Devil from following through with his trickery.
“Did you really think I’d tell him no to that?” the archangel replied.
“What are you talking about?” Bailey asked, staring at me with wide eyes.
I surrendered, not that I’d intended to put up much of a fight. Smiling, I dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “Merry Christmas, my beautiful. They’re just busybodies.”
I’d have to hit them and thank them later. I’d also have to thank them for doing the heavy lifting with Tiffany, who like my wife, was a little warmer than the day before to my senses. Well, compared to Bailey, quite a bit warmer.
It took some concentrating, but someone had taken my thoughts about quadruplets seriously, and I hoped they wouldn’t kill me in nine months.
I shot the Devil a look and hoped he’d read my mind and be willing to negotiate on ensuring all four of the little ones made it into the world without incident.
“What about me?” my grandfather complained. “I’m just as useful as he is.”
My wife laughed, and she grinned at Tiffany, who was snuggled up with her husband while basking in the glow of excited children and pets playing with their new toys. “The problem with sharing space with divines is they can read minds, and they just won’t share what’s so funny.”
“Ain’t that the honest truth,” Tiffany replied. “Enjoy it while it lasts. We have a few hours before we have to get dressed and prepare for the wedding. Your idiot husband flew the entire damned station in.”
I loved being Bailey’s idiot husband, and I grinned at the annoyed scientist. “Yes.”
My wife sighed and used my lap as my chair, a situation I rather enjoyed. “Today is going to be long but good.”
Yes, it would be.
Bailey
An hour before I was scheduled to have a proper wedding ceremony while in a pretty white dress that belonged more on a supermodel than on me, I came to the conclusion my deadbeat parents wouldn’t be making an appearance. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or annoyed I wouldn’t be able to tear strips out of their flesh with the power of my words alone.
It would’ve been a memorable affair, but when I thought about it, I decided I didn’t want my husband to have to face those assholes again unless necessary.
“They’re not coming because I uninvited them,” a deep, rumbling but warm voice stated behind me.
I about jumped out of my skin, as I thought I’d been alone in the suite while Tiffany had gone off to wrangle her dress with the Devil’s help. I would’ve found that a great deal more worrisome, except the Devil had assured me he walked the straight and narrow as he valued his family jewels, which belonged to his wife and only his wife.
I’d learned a very valuable lesson: I feared the Devil’s wife far more than I feared the Devil, and I hadn’t even met her yet.
I turned to discover a golden-skinned man with sun-bright hair and molten yellow eyes favoring me with a smile. I’d met enough divines to recognize one, although I had no idea who he was or why he’d popped in for a visit. “I think you may have just scared a few years off my life.”
His chuckles reminded me of rolling thunder. “You’ll recover.”
I considered his statement, weighed the advantages and disadvantages of them not attending, and ultimately nodded my approval. “Thank you for uninviting them. It would have been a pity if I’d lost my new shoes up their asses. Fortunately, I do have one shoe per asshole, but I would have to spend the rest of the night barefoot.” I lifted the hem of my long, white dress to show off the pretty white heels, which would have inflicted glorious damage if I did get an opportunity to wield them like a weapon.
“More importantly than uninviting them, I made it clear if they ever brought any more distress to you in your entire lifetime, they would enjoy the company of a vengeful mummy until the End of Days, be it on this Earth or in the pits of hell. I may have informed them I would be rather pleased to escort them to hell myself to ensure they did not get lost on the way.”
“I have no idea who you are, but you have earned some major wedding day points,” I announced.
“I am a quarter contributor to your existence, something I regretfully did not know of until quite recently. I would have come sooner, but you were enjoying your time with your soul mate, and I was unwilling to interrupt your time of peace.”
“I’m upgrading you to half contributor, as I’ve no interest in acknowledging the assholes beyond a general willingness to insert my shoes up their asses.” While a silly enough declaration, I already liked the golden-skinned divine.
He didn’t seem to mind my foul mouth and readiness to indulge in violence.
“However much I am displeased with their cruelties, you cannot erase them.”
I snorted and waved my hand. “They’re not worth my time, and I will. They got an honorable mention on my birth certificate. That’s more than they deserve.”
“You get that from your mother’s side of the family,” he announced with so much certainty I laughed.
“That’s the unicorn side of the family?”
“That is correct.”
“The unicorn side of this family is badass. I breathe fire.”
“The fire breathing tendencies come from my side of the family.”
I thought about that, considering what I knew about Egyptian mythology. “That would make you Ra or one of the incarnations of Ra. Amun-Ra? Ra-Ra the Sun God?”
“Ra-Ra the Sun God?” The divine covered his mouth with a hand and cleared his throat. “Ra. Amun-Ra is a later merging and not my original self. Humans added that in later. They do strange things like that. As you’ve likely guessed, I am, indeed, a sun god.”
“The next time you decide to participate in nookie while possessing some human, I recommend you do a thorough background check on the humans you and your lover select.”
“I will endeavor to keep that in mind.”
“It’s true, then? You had no idea I existed?”
“Had I, you would have discovered yourself taken from your mortal parents and put into a more appropriate care.” Ra’s expression darkened. “I have been warned I may not hasten their escort to their eternal torment.”
“Christmas is a bit mandatory in the Quinn household, and so is that Easter one, apparently. Turns out He is Sam’s great grandfather or something like that. His lineage is confusing on a good day.”
“You are correct. I suppose that element of his lineage is suitable for you.”
I blinked at that. “Is this what they mean when discussing potentially overprotective parents?
“Approximately.”
I giggled. “He’s mine so you have to accept him, and he’s really good with kids.”
“That also factored into my evaluation of his character. You require a nurturing hand.”
Obviously, I would have my work cut out for me in the formality department. Then again, I was impressed Ra spoke English in the first place.
“It is a benefit of divinity. We can speak all languages as needed.”
“I hope you’re not expecting me to learn Egyptian. I have enough trouble with English.”
Ra chuckled. “I think you will be fine. There’s the matter of your mother I wanted to discuss with you before your ceremony.”
“Is she coming?”
“She is, but the moon is waning, so it is very difficult for her to manifest. She will be present, but she cannot create a form for herself. This is why we often meet as we do. A possession is easier when the moon is not at its peak. A price of companionship.”
“That’s okay. I’ll meet her one day, right?”
“The next full moon,” he replied with a smile. “It will even rise during the day, so we can meet with you, your husband, and your children. We would be pleased to share our time together on this Earth as we can.”
While aware Sariel had taken some of my memories, I remained certain neither of my human parents would have ever considered willingly doing something that would cost them anything. Sacrifice, beyond mine, wasn’t in their nature. Given an opportunity, they would’ve discarded me, a reality I loathed to think about.
Instead of spending his few, cherished moments with my mother, they would spend it with me instead.
I wasn’t sure what to say or do, so I stared at him with wide eyes.
Ra simply smiled, reached out, and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “It is not a sacrifice or a burden on either of us. It is a privilege and honor. You were not the result of a passing fancy, despite our not knowing of you sooner. We did not expect such a gift—we did not even hold hope of receiving such a gift. If it was so easy for the divine to have children, our offspring would have long since taken over the world. No, Bailey. While we have failed as parents, you are a creation of love. We look forward to teaching you that. While we cannot necessarily be with you at all times because of our natures, we can visit as often as you like. Just not together.”
“What is my mother’s name?”
“Menily. She will be an invisible presence for your ceremony today, but if you would have me, I would walk you to your groom as is the tradition of your people. In time, I will teach you the tradition of my people, and Menily will teach you the tradition of her people. Then, we will teach you the traditions of those who came before us. It will take a long time.” Ra sounded rather pleased by that.
As always, I made a mess getting to where I meant to go, but every time life tried to kick me in the face, I somehow found myself looking directly at some bright new future filled with possibilities.
“Do you think I’ll be able to talk Quinn—er, Sam—into renewing our vows every year according to old traditions? That seems interesting. He has a very odd lineage. You’d have to spend a long time teaching us the particulars of those traditions.”
“I believe all you would have to do was ask and tell him you love him so much you want to reaffirm your vows. It is a show of dedication and faith. It will please him greatly.”
It would. “Think he’ll be cranky with me when he finds out that I conspired with a divine about having a kid for Christmas?”
Ra chuckled. “Did you think you could pull such a trick without him realizing? He already knows. He is on the verge of bursting from joy.”
As was I. “Do you think I’ll still get to fight the gorgon?”
“Absolutely not. Your fight is cancelled on account of pregnancy, and I will utilize every trick in my arsenal to ensure that is so.”
I pouted. “But it’s only been a few hours!”
“You have already won that war. Your new children do not wish you to suffer for them, for they have suffered enough. They have chosen you as much as you have chosen them. Allow them this moment of peace. I am certain, once your children are born, your grandfather would be pleased to indulge your need to prove your mettle against him. That, I am afraid, is a tendency you inherited from me. We do like to rule over all we see, and he is a gorgon you have not yet conquered.”
Damn it, I really couldn’t argue with him. As I liked the compromise on finally getting my fight with Archambault Quinn, I surrendered. “That annoys me, but fine. Generally, I think we’re going to get along just fine, old man. But I do have a request.”
“Ask.”
“Every last one of my kids gets a cool puppy like Sunny or Blizzard, and I don’t care if you have to beg Anubis for help. All of my children need a badass puppy.” To make it clear I meant business, I glared at Ra. “And I don’t care if I got Blizzard out of a dumpster. He’s a badass puppy.”
My father laughed. “It shall be done, but I think, rather than wolves or mundane canines cured of infectious diseases, I shall partner each with an animal best suited for their spirits. For all you are a unicorn, you have a wolf’s heart, and you live for your pack. That is why you have Sunny. Some of your children will be born to fly.”
“Wait. Some?”
Ra smiled. “Did you really think you would stop after two?”
Oh, well. When I was honest with myself, I wanted nothing more and wouldn’t change a thing.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Bailey & Quinn’s second novel. I can already hear you asking about the wedding.
About that.
In time, you shall enjoy the wedding, as it will be the opening of their next adventure. And yes, those of you who love your fire-breathing unicorns, there will be a next adventure. (Tentatively planned for 2021.)
~The Furred & Finned Management on behalf of RJ Blain