Matt didn’t come over that evening, nor did he call.
Or respond to the text message she sent him the following day telling him that he wouldn’t be needed to help her with Charley and Champ that night, either.
And while she expected that he appreciated the break from the daily baby and puppy duties, she also sort of expected that he—like her—would be missing the time they usually spent together.
Apparently, he didn’t.
And Sara was still trying to figure out what to make of that at six o’clock that evening when her doorbell rang.
Matt was on her doorstep, with Lulu and their mutual friend Bess Monroe flanking either side of him. He looked incredibly handsome in a charcoal suede blazer, starched blue dress shirt and dark jeans. His dress boots were shined to perfection, and since he was holding his stone-colored hat against the center of his chest, she could see that he had gotten a haircut. He’d also done a very nice job shaving. A sandalwood and leather fragrance clung to his jaw, stirring her senses all the more.
Sara blinked. “What’s going on?” she asked.
Grinning, Lulu breezed in. “My baby brother has finally come to his senses, that’s what! He’s taking you on a date!”
Bess waltzed in after her. “To help make that happen, he enlisted our help. We’re baby and puppy sitting for you!”
Sara’s jaw dropped. Talk about presumptuous! After leaving her hanging, wondering about whatever he was thinking and feeling after their falling out, for nearly two whole days!
Temper rising, she jammed her hands on her hips. Tilting her chin, she formed an officious smile. “I hate to break it to you, cowboy, but it’s customary to call and ask a woman if she would like to go out with you, before you make these kinds of arrangements.”
He flashed a sexy grin. “Thought about it.” His eyes sparkled the way they always did when he got under her skin. He ambled a little closer, purposefully invading her space. “Figured you’d say no...so I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
Sensing fireworks, Bess and Lulu eased away. Sara scowled, even as her heart panged in her chest, trying to think about what it would be like to kiss him again.
Which, after the way he’d left her two nights before, was definitely not going to happen. Not ever again!
She glowered at him, letting him know that it was going to take more than a simple dinner out to make things right between them. “You know,” she snapped, “you are not the only one around here who does not like to be told what to do!”
His laughter was throaty and implacable. “Figured. Did not dissuade me in the least.”
Sara shut her eyes briefly and rubbed at the tension in her temples. She thought she’d felt ridiculously off-kilter before he arrived. Now with him here standing next to her, his big imposing body taking up all the space, she didn’t know whether to ignore her hurt pride and forgive him, or do what she’d decided to do earlier, and keep her heart safe and him at bay.
It was pretty clear, however, as he gave her a slow, thorough once-over, what he wanted to do. End their tiff—and all the rules and non-rules they’d set up thus far—by kissing her senseless.
“Don’t argue with the man,” Lulu admonished.
Ever the romantic, who never seemed to have a boyfriend of her own, Bess chimed in, “I’ll help you get ready!” Giving her no chance to argue, she steered Sara up the stairs.
Figuring she could use a temporary respite from Matt’s seductive presence, Sara went along docilely. But her mute cooperation ended the moment they entered her bedroom and shut the door behind them. “Listen.” She whirled on her longtime friend. “I appreciate you and Lulu trying to help, but I don’t view Matt like you two seem to think.”
Not since he sneaked out in the middle of the night, and then defended his actions in a way she’d been unable to argue with, at least on a practical level.
Lulu paused. “Not boyfriend material?”
Given how easily he could break my heart? “Definitely not,” Sara said.
Bess shrugged. “So kick him out. The three of us will have a gals’ night.”
While that would have been a wonderful idea two weeks ago, now Sara hesitated.
Bess grinned. “Just what I thought.” She wagged a teasing finger. “You can deny it all you want, girlfriend, but you’re crushing on Matt every bit as much as he’s crushing on you.”
Oh heck, why deny it? Especially when he was there, looking so fine. It wasn’t like either Bess or Lulu would believe it anyway.
Bess gave Sara an encouraging hug. “Give him a chance.” She shook her head in exasperation. “Do you know what I’d give to have a man look at me the way he just looked at you?”
Probably the same thing I’d give, Sara thought. Everything.
She sighed, conceding, “Okay, but we’re not staying out late.” For both their sakes, she was going to insist they be more cautious than they had been. What was it they said? Slow and steady wins the race?
Bess waved an airy hand. “Whatever.” She disappeared into Sara’s closet. “Although if you’re home by midnight,” she called over her shoulder, “I’m going to be really surprised.”
Sara took half an hour getting dressed, and the wait was well worth it, Matt noted happily. The red sheath molded to her slender curves, while the knee-length hem and sleek alligator heels worked together to draw attention to her showgirl-perfect legs. She’d put her hair up in a loose twist at the back of her head. Tendrils escaped, slanting provocatively across her forehead and the nape of her neck.
Resisting the urge to haul her close and press a string of kisses up the slope of her throat, he said thickly, “Wow.”
She shook her head at him, but not before he tracked the softness of her lips and the flush in her cheeks.
Lulu and Bess elbowed each other, mugging. “She does clean up pretty good,” Bess teased.
Sara gave her friends The Look. “Okay, you two.”
She turned to give them instructions on Charley’s and Champ’s care for the evening. Then, giving Matt a cautious glance, said, “Ready?”
He held the door for her. “Absolutely.”
“So where are we going?” she asked, her expression inscrutable.
Lamenting the fact he had almost blown the only real chance he’d ever had with her, he took her by the arm and led her outside to his pickup truck.
“The Laramie River Inn outside of San Angelo.” It was the best place for a gourmet dinner in a one hundred mile radius. He’d had to do some mighty fine persuading to get a reservation on such short notice, even if it was a weeknight.
She lifted a delicate brow. “You must really be trying to impress me.”
He opened the passenger door. “Or make up with you,” he ventured.
She pivoted and challenged him with a gaze that was sexy, self-assured and faintly baiting. “That’s really not necessary,” she said softly.
He figured he’d be the judge of that.
She put her right shoe on the running board of the truck and gripped the handle just above the door. He caught a whiff of her lilac scent, even as his attention drifted lower, to the snug fit of her dress across her delectable hips. Oblivious to his arousal, she slipped into the passenger seat with admirable grace.
He waited until she’d fastened her seat belt, then shut her door and circled around to climb behind the wheel. Figuring the more intimate conversation could wait until he had her full attention, and she had his, he said, “So, what’s new on the home front? How were Charley and Champ today?”
While they drove, she filled him in on their antics. He told her about the lovesick cow that had showed up on his property again.
A companionable time later, they arrived at the inn.
A private table near the window, overlooking a field of Texas bluebonnets and Indian paintbrush wildflowers, was waiting for them.
Showtime, he thought. He held the chair for her and she slid into it. The next few minutes passed in silence, as they studied their menus, placed their orders and agreed on a bottle of wine. When their waiter left, she looked wary again and he couldn’t blame her. He had been a horse’s ass and then some.
Matt reached across the table and took her hand. Regret lashed through him. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, forcing himself to be the gentleman he had been raised to be. “There are no excuses for the way I behaved the other night.” He might not have been able to sleep there, but... He swallowed around the tension in his throat, finished soberly, “I should have treated you better.”
Her chin lifted indignantly. Clearly, an apology was not what she wanted from him. Then what was?
“We went through this, Matt.”
Not well, he thought, because the outcome of their conversation had left her studiously avoiding him.
Determined to set their relationship to rights, he covered her hand with his. “Our friendship is important, Sara,” he reminded her, savoring the silky warmth of her skin. “More than that, it’s good to have you in my life again after all these years apart.”
Finally, a chink in her emotional armor.
She released a slow breath, his honesty engendering hers. With a reluctant smile, she admitted, “It’s been good to have you in mine.” She paused to survey him with slowly building mischief. “I remember you as a kid. It’s been nice to get to know you as a grown-up.”
He nodded, thinking of all the ways they had both changed, and still likely would. “You, too,” he said gruffly.
They fell silent as their first course was delivered.
When the waiter left, he leaned toward her. “Look, I know you don’t want to get married again. You made that clear.” He forced himself to be honest in a way he hadn’t been with anyone else. “The truth is, I’m probably not husband material, either.”
For a moment, Sara didn’t move. Then something like disappointment flickered in the jade depths of her eyes. “I don’t know how you can say that,” she returned finally.
He watched her drag her fork idly through her salad. “Because it’s true. My time overseas changed me.”
She discounted his declaration with a shrug. “Things...like Anthony’s death...have changed me, too.”
He knew that. He figured it was why she was so scared, so ready to run at even the slightest disagreement or disappointment.
They could still work this out.
They would work this out.
“Then we’re on the same page,” he told her seriously. “Because I want to stay close with you. Not lose track with each other the way we did before we each left for college. So whatever you want. If you prefer us to be just friends,” he vowed, even as his body ached to make love to her again. “Or friends with benefits.” His voice dropped a husky notch. “Or something in between, you can have it.” He paused to let his words sink in. “All you have to do is tell me what would make you happy.”
Sara didn’t know what she’d expected when Matt had shown up to take her out on a date.
She definitely hadn’t expected him to be so direct, or to chivalrously offer her heart’s desire to her, whatever that turned out to be.
He leaned toward her. “Tell me I haven’t upset you again.”
“No.” The truth was he couldn’t offend her anew. Because she hadn’t stopped being conflicted and confused about their relationship.
One minute she was crushing on him so hard she thought she might actually be falling in love with him. The next she was exasperated beyond belief.
“Do you want to make love again?” he asked, his gaze drifting slowly over her face, before returning to her eyes. “Or go back to simply being friends?”
A shiver of anticipation went through her.
Did she want to make love with him again?
The answer was yes. Definitely yes.
Did she want to wake up alone afterward again?
The answer to that was definitely no.
She did want to spend time with him. Every day. Maybe even every night.
And that could lead to trouble, she knew. Because if she allowed herself to open up her heart again and fall all the way in love with him—and he couldn’t love her that way in return—it was going to devastate her.
“Sara?” he prodded softly, reaching across the table to take her hand in his.
He deserved an answer. And an honest one at that.
“I’m not sure what I want my future to hold,” she said finally, looking down at their clasped hands. Except she didn’t want to be hurt again. Didn’t ever want to feel she’d been emotionally shut out and abandoned. Or that she had let someone down by not being what they needed and wanted, either. Because that kind of grief and guilt was not something she could handle again, either.
Matt regarded her patiently. “I get that,” he replied gently, understanding—perhaps even sharing—that sentiment.
Sara drew a deep breath. What was it she’d been telling herself? Slow and steady wins the race? Especially when the most important thing of all was keeping Matt in her life.
Aware it might be better to ask for too little rather than too much, at least right now, she worked up her courage, looked him right in the eye, and said, “So how about we go back to just being friends?”
To Sara’s relief, Matt took her request in stride. It was almost as if he had expected that the incredible fireworks they’d shared had been too good too last. That the risks they were on the verge of taking were not going to be worthwhile, after all.
He was in agreement with her. Their top priority had to be preserving what they already knew they could have, a deep and lasting man-woman friendship. And though it stung a little to find he shared her ambivalence, she couldn’t blame him.
Life had not been particularly kind to either of them in the romance department. To expect that everything would magically work out between the two of them, after reconciling their friendship and impulsively taking it to the next level, was not realistic at all.
And as a single mom now, she absolutely had to be practical.
So, for right now anyway, friendship was definitely the better option.
At least that was what she kept telling herself as the next week passed, without so much as a lingering look, touch or kiss from Matt.
Oh, they still spent plenty of time together when she was training and socializing Champ, and Matt helped out by simultaneously taking care of Charley for her as they all went through their paces, but that was pretty much it.
They didn’t share meals.
They didn’t exchange confidences.
They didn’t do anything that would lead to further intimacy of any kind.
And while it was a relief on one level, it was also incredibly disappointing on another.
She hadn’t expected to ever have sex with anyone else after Anthony died. Hadn’t even been able to imagine it. So to find out that she could still want someone had been astounding. And to feel wanted in return had been even sweeter.
She also knew if she had to choose between a lifelong platonic friendship with Matt and a fleeting love affair, she would definitely choose the companionship.
So this was definitely the better option.
Especially when she could still share certain elements of the rest of her life with Matt.
“You’ll never guess what happened overnight!” she exclaimed, when he met her for Saturday’s late-afternoon training session.
He ambled in. The spring day was a little chilly, and he looked as ruggedly handsome as ever in his tan chamois shirt, jeans and boots. “No clue!” he said, stopping just short of her.
Ignoring the way her heart skittered in response whenever she was near him, Sara smiled proudly. “Charley got his first tooth!”
“You’re kidding!”
She pointed to her son, who was enjoying some tummy time on his play mat in the middle of the living room floor. “See for yourself.”
Matt sauntered over, laconic as ever, and stretched out beside Charley so the two were facing each other. Suddenly looking so very much like father and son it made her heart ache. If only Matt could be Charley’s new daddy!
Oblivious to her wish, Matt gently cupped Charley’s chin. “Going to let me see, big fella?”
Charley offered a huge grin.
Matt admired the edge of white peeking up out of his lower gum. “Wow.”
Charley’s grin widened all the more.
Matt peered closer, tilting his head. “Looks like the one next to it is about to push through, too.”
Sara joined them on the blanket, kneeling beside them. Beaming, she predicted, “Before we know it, he’ll have two teeth!”
Charley gurgled and pounded the floor beneath him with his tiny fists. Rocking forward and back as if that alone would get him somewhere.
“Now, if we could just teach him to crawl instead of roll to where he wants to go,” Sara sighed.
Charlie flipped over onto his side, again and again, until he found the toy he wanted and put it in his mouth.
“He’ll get there,” Matt reassured her, confident as ever. The corners of his eyes crinkled. “In the meantime, we should definitely celebrate his first tooth.”
“We should,” Sara agreed.
Merriment tugged at Matt’s smile. “Think he’s too young for ice cream?”
Doing something that fun, even with their tiny chaperones along, always seemed like a dangerous proposition to her way too vulnerable heart. She cleared her throat and lifted her chin. “I imagine he could have a little.” It was time they expanded their repertoire of social expeditions again. That did not have to mean they’d end up holding hands or kissing or being tempted to make love again.
Especially if they kept things absolutely casual and platonic.
“You think?” Matt’s eyes glittered with anticipation.
Sara nodded, reassuring herself they were doing the right thing. She smiled over at him. “It’s such a nice day. The Dairy Barn in town would be a good place to socialize Champ, too.”
His gaze traveled over the hollow of her throat, past her lips, to her eyes. He rose and offered her a hand up. “Let’s go, then.”
Half an hour later, they were pulling into the lot.
As always during their excursions, Matt took charge of Charley, while Sara snapped a leash on Champ and lifted him out of the car.
No sooner had they stepped onto the sidewalk, than a trio of delighted squeals rose from the other side of the decorative fence surrounding the outdoor eating area.
Matt lifted a hand in recognition. “Hey, Jack!” he called to his brother, as Jack’s three little girls came running for them, all talking at once.
“It’s the puppy, Champ! He’s so cute! Can we pet him?”
“Sure.” Sara stopped.
“Fancy seeing you two here,” Jack said.
Matt shrugged. “We’re friends.”
A lift of the brow. “Friends? Lulu said you went on a date.”
Matt remained impassive. “We did.”
“And?” Jack pressed.
Another shrug. “Went right back into the friends zone.”
The surgeon clapped a hand on Matt’s shoulder, and spared Sara a genial look. “Mind if I have a word with my little brother?”
“Go right ahead.”
Matt walked off, Charley still in his arms, Jack at his side. The three little girls gathered around Champ. Cooing over him and petting him by turn.
“Are you nuts?” Sara heard Jack say. “She’s everything you’d ever want in a woman. And she’s got a baby you clearly adore.”
Mortified, Sara stood frozen in place.
Matt held his brother’s assessing gaze with one of his own. “Just helping out.”
Was that all it was? Sara wondered, stung by Matt’s “this means nothing to me, so stop asking” tone.
The two men continued staring each other down. “Looks like a hell of a lot more than that to me,” Jack harrumphed.
Matt scowled, looking trapped.
The three girls went from sitting to standing. Champ continued basking in the adoration.
“Yeah, well, maybe you don’t know everything, Jack.”
Jack leaned in, his own grief evident. “I know one thing. A woman who hits every wish on your list doesn’t come along every day. And when you find her, you have to hold on. ’Cause if you don’t...” Jack’s voice cracked.
Too late, Sara realized it was coming up on the anniversary of his wife’s death. Matt must have realized it, too.
“You’re right,” Matt said quietly, lifting a palm. “I’m an ass.”
“No. I’m sorry.” Jack scrubbed a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t be pushing you. I just hate to see anyone else give up what they could have, while they still have a chance.”
Aware she’d been eavesdropping for far too long, Sara stepped back, looked down. Swiftly became aware the little girls that had been surrounding her were gone...and that she was holding an empty leash.
She gasped.
Then turned in the direction of another trio of excited squeals.
There was Champ, nosing happily along the cement, with the girls accompanying him. And he was almost to the sidewalk that fronted the parking lot! Cars were turning in...backing out.
“Stop!” Sara shouted, fisting the leash and breaking into a run.
Spying what was going on, Jack hopped the waist-high fence.
Her heart pounding, Sara caught up with the puppy and Jack’s youngest child. Her arms spread wide, she scooped both of them into the safety of her arms, then for good measure snapped the leash on Champ. Jack lassoed his two older daughters. Matt was suddenly there, too, Charley still cradled safely against his broad chest.
To Sara’s immense relief, everyone was all right.
“You girls know better,” Jack scolded.
The hell of it was, so did Sara.