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James hastily made his way towards the stable alongside Kenneth, and Kitty followed closely behind him.
“Your Grace,” Kitty called out to him.
James slowed his pace, allowing her to catch up to him.
“What on earth could have happened, James?” Kitty inquired.
“I am not certain, but Kenneth would not be in such a state if it were not important, or serious,” James answered.
Kenneth opened the stable doors and waited for James and Kitty to reach him.
“Is it safe for my lady to enter?” James inquired.
“Indeed, Your Grace, there is no danger to any one of us,” Kenneth answered.
“Then what is the matter?” Kitty asked breathlessly.
“It is Lord Windsor,” Kenneth answered.
“Who is Lord Windsor? Is he family?” Kitty asked as they stepped into the stable.
Lord Windsor, the palomino stallion whom Kitty had noticed was ill yesterday, had been in his father’s possession since James was a young boy.
He had promised to call a veterinarian to examine the horse after Kitty’s request, which had entirely slipped his mind until now.
“This,” Kenneth stated as he came to a standstill in front of one of the stalls, “is Lord Windsor.”
Kitty stepped closer and her eyes widened. A gasp escaped from her throat as she entered the stall. Lord Windsor was curled up in the straw, barely moving as Kitty knelt beside him.
James approached Kenneth and placed his hands on his hips. “How bad is he?”
“He is not getting any better, Your Grace. He refuses to eat or drink. I am even surprised he is allowing my lady to enter his stall. His behaviour was troubling last evening, his eyes appeared...”
James raised his brows expectantly and waited for Kenneth to continue speaking.
“Demonic, perhaps,” Kenneth said in a hushed tone.
“Is there anything more we can do?” James asked.
“Your Grace, this horse needs to be seen by a veterinarian, as I have mentioned before,” Kitty said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“My lady,” James sighed and turned to her. “Lord Windsor is an old stallion, and—”
“And what? Does he not deserve to live?” Kitty asked incredulously.
“That is most certainly not what I insinuated, my lady,” James proclaimed with a shrug. “You must also understand that there is not much a veterinarian can do. He will most likely have the animal put out of its misery.”
“How can you be so heartless?” Kitty snapped and rose from the ground.
James stared at his fiancée, surprised by her aggressive attitude. “I am not heartless, my lady. I am merely being realistic. The veterinarian cannot perform miracles. He is an aged horse. There is nothing more we can do for him.”
“You do not know this for a fact,” she exclaimed.
“It is just a horse, Kitty,” he stated, but as soon as the words left his lips, regret followed swiftly. James was well aware of how much she adored horses and his words were cruel.
Tears formed in her eyes and she pursed her lips.
“My lady,” James began and stepped towards her, ready to apologise.
Kitty shook her head and pushed past him. “Leave me alone.”
The duke grabbed her hand and whirled her around. “Please, my lady—”
“Unhand me at once,” she hissed.
In an attempt not to make a scene, James released her, allowing her to storm out of the stable. He glanced at Kenneth with a sigh. “Have the veterinarian come examine Lord Windsor, please, Kenneth.”
“Right away, Your Grace,” Kenneth answered, then added, “Your Grace is wrong in thinking it is merely a horse.”
“I am aware, but thank you for reminding me,” James said and speedily left the stables.
Once outside, he noticed Kitty on her way to the gardens, and he called out to her. As expected, she did not acknowledge him, and continued walking. James was well aware that she was angry and hurt. He wished to make things right, although he was unsure how he would be able to do that.
“My lady, please wait!” he called out, lessening the distance between them.
Kitty came to a stop in front of the old wrought iron gate that led to the back garden where no one was permitted to enter, and where James had not been since his father had passed.
It had been the late duke’s private garden, and James did not possess the courage or emotional strength to visit there. He doubted he ever would.
Kitty rested her hands on the horizontal bar of the gate and stood silently, staring out into the distance. James carefully approached, but did not wish to come too close at the risk of a possible emotional outburst. Perhaps she would simply ignore him further, which would also be justified.
“My lady,” James spoke in a calm voice, but only to keep himself composed.
Kitty remained motionless in front of the gate and he continued, “I am sincerely sorry for what I said. I am aware that you have a deep adoration for horses, and it was cruel and unkind of me to insinuate that Lord Windsor is merely just a horse. He is much more than that.”
“Perhaps he is just a horse to you, but he is a living, breathing thing. He, too, feels pain and fear and love. Did your father not teach you these things, Your Grace? All living things should be treated with kindness, grace, and mercy.”
Her words twisted a knife deep in his heart. “I am deeply sorry, my lady.”
Kitty turned around slowly, her eyes filled with tears and her hands clasped together. “It is now obvious that I do not know you at all. Despite the morning we spent at the meadow, the connection I felt towards you, and last night...”
James’s brow furrowed as he stepped closer to her. “What are you attempting to say, my lady?”
Kitty looked straight at him, her gaze connecting with incredible accuracy. “Simply that I cannot marry a man who does not love horses, not even in the least bit.”
“You’re basing this opinion solely on the fact that I did not engage a veterinarian to examine to Lord Windsor?” James asked incredulously.
“It is about more than just the horse, Your Grace,” Kitty said, a tear running down her cheek.
James wished he could wipe the tear away, but he dared not move. Kitty was hurt and upset, and he did not wish to make matters worse than they already were.
“I understand that you have been emotionally unavailable for some time now, and this arrangement between you and my father was not meant to involve any sort of feelings of love or affection. I accepted that. I accepted that I would be in a loveless marriage with a man who did not feel any affection towards me, despite being his wife. I convinced myself that was what I wanted. What I will not accept is that you showed little sympathy for a horse, despite your promise to me to have him cared for by a veterinarian,” Kitty explained.
“My lady—” James tried to interrupt.
This conversation had far exceeded the boundaries of what was polite.
“You lied to me, and I would rather disappoint my whole family than be married to a liar,” Kitty exclaimed.
Anger rolled through James’s gut as he stared at the woman before him. A person to whom he had opened up and committed to being married to for the rest of his life. How could she say such a thing?
He said the first thing that came into his mind. “And I would rather die alone here on my estate than be married to a controlling woman who constantly needs to be reminded to behave accordingly.”
Kitty glared at him angrily and her breathing became ragged. “My initial impression of you was correct. You are simply a miserable man who no other woman wanted. Perhaps now I understand why you’re still alone, Your Grace.”
The insult was unwarranted and untrue.
“And no other man will want a defiled woman!” he shot back.
It was not his intention to grow as angered as he was at that moment, but Kitty had given him no choice. He was infuriated by her responses, her words, and the mere fact that she wished to end their arrangement due to a horse.
Kitty’s lips pursed, her eyes boring sharply through him. “I shall inform my father of our decision, and we will leave as soon as possible. I do not wish to be here, where I am no longer welcome.”
James lifted his chin and looked down his nose at her. “Indeed.”
“Of all the mistakes I have made in my life, you are the biggest.”
Before James could utter a response, Kitty turned on her heel and stormed off in the direction of the terrace. James growled angrily to himself, his jaw clenched. Perhaps it was in both their best interests to part ways, as things had become more complicated than he had ever imagined.
When Lord Dunne had proposed the arrangement, James had assumed he would hold no emotional connection with his betrothed. But as the feelings had risen up inside him, James knew it was only a matter of time before he fell in love with the woman who would only reject him—or worse—only tolerate him for the sake of appearances.
James had heard tales of married noblemen who despised their wives, and whose wives, in turn, despised them. Of course, they were civil and even affectionate at times while they were in the public eye.
He was not prepared to keep up appearances simply for society’s sake, and even if he did not despise Kitty yet, not marrying her would be the better option.
As he walked towards the back of the manor house, he hoped that he would be able to ignore the pain in his heart that had surfaced the moment she was out of sight.