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There was silence around the dinner table as James, William, and Lizzie ate quietly. James did not fail to notice the glances of concern that his siblings exchanged in the silence, but he hoped they would not inquire why Kitty and her family had left on such short notice. James had not told them any details, but he was certain they wanted to know what happened.
The image of Kitty staring up at him as he had stood watching her before she had climbed into her family’s coach was etched in his mind. He recalled her icy glare shredding his soul to pieces, but it was better that way.
He could not love her in the manner in which she desired and deserved, and despite James’s attempt to keep her at the estate, apologise, and mend things between them, it was too late now.
“Out of sheer curiosity, James, are you not going to discuss this with us?” Lizzie spoke, breaking the silence. The awkward tension still remained.
“Discuss what?” James asked, not glancing up.
“That fact that Kitty and her family left on such short notice,” Lizzie answered. “Was there an emergency that required Lord Dunne’s attention?”
“No.”
James’s answer was simple and concise, and he hoped it would be the end of the conversation, but he was well aware of his sister’s insistent and tenacious nature.
“What was the reason for their sudden departure, if it was not an emergency?”
“I do not wish to discuss it at present,” James answered.
“It has been a week since their departure, and you have said nothing. Not a single word, nor provided an explanation,” Lizzie continued, pushing him.
He sighed. “It is none of your concern.”
“But it is, brother. You have been a nightmare to live with. You are rude, curt, and boorish, and I refuse to accept that nothing is the matter,” Lizzie huffed.
Her insults were well aimed and made anger roil in his belly.
“Perhaps I shall leave as well, as I am such a thorn in your side,” James said as he theatrically stood from the table and stormed out of the dining hall.
His blood boiled in his veins as he marched through the hallway, and soon he found himself in the great hall.
The moon shone brightly in the sky and cast a silver glow on the floor of the huge space. The image of Kitty, bathed in moonlight as she lay beside him in bed, swam into his mind. Her eyes were focused on him with an intensity he had never before experienced, and he could practically taste her on his lips once again.
James lowered his gaze and stared at the floor, feeling uncertain of the future, and how he would face it without Kitty. A sigh escaped as he heard soft footsteps behind him and he straightened his shoulders.
“Please leave me be, Elizabeth,” James implored, remaining completely still. “I am most certainly not in the mood to converse.”
“I can see that,” Lizzie answered, but kept her distance. “I hate seeing you this way, James.”
He pursed his lips and crossed his arms.
“Is there anything I can do?” Lizzie asked quietly.
“There is not a single thing you, nor I, can do to rectify this,” James answered.
“And what is this you are referring to?”
He turned slowly to face his sibling and sighed wearily. “I have made a mess of things with Kitty.”
“What happened?” Lizzie asked as she stepped towards him. “Please tell me. I cannot bear seeing you suffer this way, James.”
“Kitty and I will not be married.. She decided it would be in both our best interests that we should part ways,” James finally answered.
“Did Kitty say that, or you?”
“It was mutual.”
“Did she say why?”
He shifted in discomfort. “I would not tend to an ill horse after I made her a promise that I would call a veterinarian to examine the animal. I spoke foolishly and without regard of her feelings in front of her and she became upset. She accused me of being a liar, and being insensitive. Simply a man she could not marry.”
“I am truly sorry, James. I was not aware. You also did not say a thing.”
“I am the only one at fault. There is no need for you to apologise,” James sighed again. “Perhaps it is, indeed, better this way.”
“For whom?” Lizzie asked. “Her father was rather persistent in pursuing this union. Their desperation was imminent.”
“What do you mean, sister?”
Lizzie opened her mouth, but expelled no words, an instant expression of guilt and embarrassment appearing on her young face. “Perhaps it was not my place to say anything, James.”
“I wish to know. Now,” James insisted.
“I assure you, it is nothing. It does not matter anymore. The arrangement is terminated, and you are back on the market,” Lizzie forced a smile.
“Hardly. I wish to have nothing to do with women ever again,” James scoffed.
“Are you certain that is what you want, James?” Lizzie asked.
“Why would I not be?” James asked. “Is my word not of any worth to you?”
“That is not what I am saying, James. I know you. I have my entire life, and I know when you push people away it is for good. It has happened quite a few times in the past, the most recent Lady Penelope—”
“Do not...” James warned.
Lizzie raised her hands in defeat and spoke quietly. “You and I both know how those situations affected you, and it pains me to think that once again you are going through this, alone. But you are not alone, brother,” Lizzie said and placed her hand reassuringly against James’s shoulder.
“Thank you, sister.”
“You were very fond of her,” Lizzie pointed out. “Not at first glance, of course, but the manner in which you gazed at her was endearing.”
“Kitty is a beautiful woman,” James answered and cleared his throat in order to prevent himself from uttering something foolish and revealing. “But like any beautiful woman, she had a flaw. She thought more of the horses than she did of me.”
“You did not honour your promise,” Lizzie reminded and James stared at her in disapproval. “It is true, so do not dare stare at me as if I am the liar.”
James swallowed hard. “I lied to her. Is that what you wish to hear?”
“Why did you lie to her? Why did you make a promise to her you could not keep, or never intended to keep in the first place?” Lizzie asked.
He didn’t have a good answer for that.
He cleared his throat before continuing, “I did not think it was... so important. I was aware that she adored horses, but it did not occur to me how much. I should have listened to her, taken note of what was important to her. Perhaps then she would not have left,” James sighed.
Lizzie cocked her head. “You are in a bind, James.”
“No, I am not. It is over, and now I can carry on with my life. Kitty can now find herself another husband—a man worthy of her hand,” James said.
Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “I wonder if you do this on purpose?”
“Do what?” James asked.
Lizzie glanced at her brother and cocked her head. “Do foolish and inconsiderate things to ensure people do not come close to you, or prevent you from coming close to them.”
James gasped, narrowing his gaze at his sister. “That is absurd and presumptuous.”
“It is not,” Lizzie said, staring hard at him. “You purposely push people away by doing and saying foolish things in the hope they wish nothing to do with you. You would rather be alone, wallowing in self-pity than feel vulnerable with someone who sees the broken soul you are on the inside.”
“That is enough,” he snapped.
He didn’t want to hear any of this.
“No, James. It is time you heard this, whether you wish to or not,” Lizzie said, pointing her finger at him. “You were bearable when William and I were younger, but after Father passed, you disappeared. A mere shell of the man you were before. Things began to improve and then Mother passed, and you were worse than ever.”
That was enough. “Elizabeth—”
“I am not done,” Lizzie said as she dismissed him with a simple hand gesture. “I understand Father raised you to be his successor, and his heir to all this,” she said, motioning to the manor around them. “And there are many things that rest on your shoulders. Responsibilities William and I cannot begin to fathom. It has not been easy for any of us, with you shutting off your emotions. Pushing away the people who care for you and love you is not the answer. Including Kitty. Or, rather, especially Kitty.”
James stood straighter, stiffening his spine. “You are mistaken, Elizabeth. Kitty does not love me. She made that fact perfectly clear during our argument.”
Lizzie cocked her head. “It certainly seemed that way.”
“You are mistaken,” James repeated, with a sterner and clearer tone.
Lizzie shrugged. “Perhaps I was. It was, indeed, Kitty who snuck out of your bedchamber in the early hours of the morning, was it not?”
James glared at his baby sister. “You have no right to spy on me—”
“Oh, please. Spare me the lecture,” Lizzie rolled her eyes, then examined her reflection in the glass pane of the large window. “And I was not spying on you. I merely happened to be roaming the halls at the same time.”
“And I am supposed to believe that?” James scoffed.
“Believe what you wish. It is the truth,” Lizzie said. “Tell me this, James, and forgive me for wishing to know these intimate details, but what did you feel while she lay beside you?”
James glanced at his baby sister, part of him wanting to talk to someone about the feelings pulsing through him, but he decided it was better not to. It would only cause more thoughts to rise up inside him that were freshly buried under mounds of regret and anger.
“Your silence, as well as the expression on your face, reveals much more than your tongue ever will, brother,” Lizzie said with a small, yet satisfied smile.
A ruckus came from the front of the manor and James turned to the hallway. William rushed into the great hall and called out, “Brother, come quick.”
What could be the problem now? “What is the matter?”
“Please, come see for yourself,” William motioned James to hurry.
James and Lizzie followed William, and he held the door for them.
As soon as James stepped outside, the pungent odor of rotting fruit filled his nostrils. He stopped dead in his tracks. On the front lawn of the estate, lay broken and rotten fruit, swarming with flies, strewn around the grounds.
“What on earth is the meaning of this?” James demanded.
“The groundsman told me that he noticed a figure on the front lawn earlier, but he didn’t think much of it, as he was under the impression that you still had guests,” William explained.
“But why? Why target my estate? And with rotting fruit,” James exclaimed in disgust. “Who would do such a thing?”
After a drawn-out moment of silent tension, James noticed Lizzie acting strangely, guilty even, and he approached her.
“Elizabeth,” James said and narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you aware of who could have done this?”
“I might be,” Lizzie answered with a cringe.
“Tell me,” James demanded, and William turned to her as well.
“Promise me you will not be angry with me,” Lizzie answered.
James shook his head, clenching his hands into fists. “I cannot promise you that, sister.”
“Promise me,” Lizzie begged.
“I will try my utmost best,” William said with a shrug.
James glanced briefly at William before he turned his attention back to Lizzie. “Tell me what is going on, sister. Now,” James hissed, and glared at Lizzie.
There had better be a good explanation for this.