THE NEXT MORNING, Holly decided she needed to do something concrete to enrich Penny’s life, stimulate her, work on any delays she might have. Taking her to the baby lap-sit at the library seemed like a good—and fortunately, free—way to do it.
She needed to get Cash’s stricken expression out of her mind and stop worrying about what he’d do with the knowledge that he was Penny’s father. He was supposed to get in touch with her today and talk things through; if he didn’t, she’d figure out her next step. No point in sitting inside her apartment worrying.
When she walked into the Safe Haven Public Library, she inhaled the old-book smell and listened to the quiet voices, and felt her tight shoulders relax. She’d always loved libraries; they’d been refuges when she was a kid. This one was particularly homey, with lots of polished old wood and comfortably shabby carpets and furniture.
She followed the “Baby Lap-Sit” signs upstairs and soon was sitting in a circle with about ten other parents and babies.
Holly felt nervous, like the new kid at school; all the others seemed to know each other. But unlike when she’d been in school, several of these women were friendly. A couple of them made eye contact with her and smiled, and the mom next to her looked at Penny. “Why, aren’t you the cutest little thing!” she said in a singsong voice, making Penny laugh.
Three women stood off to one side, talking intently about something that made them smirk and snicker as they held their babies loosely on their hips. One, a little girl, struggled to get down, but her mother just pulled a big bag of marshmallows out of her purse and started popping them in the baby’s mouth.
The white-haired, rosy-faced woman who was leading the group introduced herself as Miss Martha. “We’ll go around the circle,” she said. “Everyone introduce yourselves and your babies. Tell us the age of your kids. You don’t have to reveal your own age,” she joked, and the moms laughed.
As the mothers introduced themselves and their babies, it became obvious that Penny was one of the older babies in the group, even though Holly was probably one of the youngest moms, or rather, mother figures. She didn’t clarify that she wasn’t Penny’s mother; that wasn’t a concern of any of theirs.
One of the few babies that looked bigger and older than Holly—a toddler, really—was lying beside his mother, thumping his clunky shoes on the floor over and over, only pausing to give his mother the occasional hard kick.
“Oh, Jason, don’t,” his mother said, but didn’t do anything else to stop the child.
The marshmallow mom nudged one of her friends, whose lip curled. Jason’s mother seemed to notice, because her mouth turned down and her shoulders slumped.
The marshmallow-eating baby broke free from her mother’s arms and grabbed Jason’s truck, causing a small tussle.
“Come on, Tyla, you have a toy to play with.” The mom dug into her bag and produced a rubber doll.
Tyla took the doll, glanced at it and then hurled it at Jason. Fortunately, her aim wasn’t good enough to hit her target.
“Well, okay, let’s get started!” Miss Martha said. “This playtime is about you connecting with your baby. Eye contact, smiles, giggles—all of it is crucial to your child’s socialization.”
“Some kids could use a little help,” Jason’s mom muttered.
Miss Martha had them all sit with babies in their laps, facing outward, then showed them a simple finger-play game. As Holly manipulated Penny’s tiny hands, Penny looked back over her shoulder and gave Holly a wide-eyed smile.
Love for her niece exploded in her chest, and tears pushed at the backs of her eyes. She kissed the top of Penny’s head and made a silent promise: I’ll do everything I can to help you catch up and grow up right.
“Patty-cake next,” Miss Martha singsonged. Clearly, she was determined to keep them busy so the babies—and mothers—stayed focused instead of turning on each other.
All the moms obediently encouraged their children to clap their hands, which the babies did with varying degrees of success.
All except Penny, who didn’t seem to have a clue about clapping, even after Holly showed her how. She had to hold Penny’s hands in her own and move them in a patty-cake motion throughout the whole rhyme.
Covertly, she looked around to see if anyone else’s baby was struggling. Nope, just Penny.
As Holly wiggled her fingers in front of Penny for a counting game, she was painfully aware of how little she knew about how to raise a baby.
She’d tried to read and research and watch videos when she could, but since she’d brought Penny home she’d been so busy, what with closing down her dog-walking business in New York and moving to Safe Haven, that she really hadn’t had a lot of time for a conscious plan of how to do a good job as Penny’s new mom; it had mostly been catch-as-catch-can.
Now, she felt inadequate, especially compared to the other parents, who seemed so comfortable and knowledgeable with their babies. One of the kids actually threw up, which would have made Holly panic. But her mother just held her over a blanket until she’d finished, rolled up the blanket and stuffed it into her diaper bag, then swiped a tissue over the child’s mouth.
Again, the snotty moms sneered. But Holly was just impressed with the throw-up mother’s aplomb.
She tried to soak in everything the leader said about child development. She’d get a library card and check out some of the books the leader was holding up, and would try to play these types of games with Penny every day.
After the official baby lap-sit ended, the leader encouraged them to stay a little longer and let the babies play together while the parents got to know each other. Holly sat Penny beside a colorful bolster and watched her as she took in her surroundings, feeling shy around the other mothers.
Penny got herself onto her hands and knees and scooted backward, but unlike the other babies, she didn’t pull up. Even babies who were younger seemed able to do more, much more. As she watched Penny’s awkward semi-crawl, Holly’s heart twisted in her chest.
It was becoming more and more apparent that Tiff hadn’t taken good care of Penny. And now, Holly was continuing that tradition. She’d started to realize that Norma and Rita had been right—Penny had delays. But now she saw, with a sinking feeling, just how far behind Penny was.
Miss Martha was making her way around the room, chatting with people, and she soon approached Holly and Penny. “We’re glad you joined us this week. Can I answer any questions for you?”
“She’s so far behind,” Holly blurted out. “She can’t really even crawl yet, and I don’t think she’s ever done anything like this—” she waved a hand to indicate the busy circle of mothers and babies “—in her whole life.”
“You don’t think so?” Miss Martha cocked her head to one side. “Are you a new foster or adoptive parent?”
“I’m her aunt, but I’m raising her now. Since last month, and I feel like I don’t know anything.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Miss Martha said reassuringly. “She’s adorable. I might be able to point you to a specialist or play therapist, if you’d like to hurry her along.”
“Yes, that would be great.” Holly scribbled down the names the woman gave her with a sinking heart. How was she going to pay for a special therapist when her savings were depleting so rapidly?
Penny’s father, that was how. She had to get in touch, motivate him to help his child.
She shot a text to Cash and then took a couple of videos of Penny sitting and watching the other babies. No one seemed to mind; in fact, a lot of the other moms were taking pictures.
As soon as Cash texted back that he was on his way, she collected Penny’s things, hoisted the baby into her arms and hurried down the stairs.
Minutes later, Cash joined her in the little outside sitting area. “You said you needed to talk to me.”
“I want you to see something.” Unceremoniously, she plunked Penny into his arms and held her phone so he could see.
“So she’s playing with the other babies and... Oh. She’s not.”
“Right. She’s just watching them, even though they’re all younger than she is. Sometimes she crawls, but just barely. She’s really behind, Cash.” Her voice caught a little as she said it.
He settled Penny closer to his chest and brushed a kiss on top of her head, and worry lines appeared on his forehead. Holly could smell his cologne—expensive—and feel the heat from his body so close to hers.
One of the snotty moms walked across the courtyard and did a double take when she saw Cash. “Well, hey, Cash,” she said, smiling. “You have a new little friend, do you?”
“Yeah,” he said without elaborating on the relationship. “You’ve met Holly, right?”
“We just had a fun time together,” the mom said, sparing a quick smile for Holly.
“And this is...Tyla, right?” He reached out and tickled her baby’s chin, making her giggle. “When did Tyla start to crawl?”
“Oh, gosh, she was scooting around at six months, but a real crawl? Just a few weeks ago. At nine months.”
“Smarty,” he said, tickling the baby again.
He was so much better with babies than Holly was. So much better with people.
And he was charming to everyone, obviously, so when he treated Holly nicely, she couldn’t take it personally.
After Tyla and her mother left, Cash turned back to Holly. “We have some work to do,” he said.
“Remember, you don’t have to be involved,” she said quickly. “I just need money to get help for her.”
The friendly light went out of his eyes and his lips flattened. He looked from her to Penny. “Of course. I’ll do some research and draw up a child-support plan.” He stood, handed the baby back to Holly and left.
She sensed she’d offended him again and she felt bad about that. It was clear that Penny would benefit from his involvement. But Cash was too dangerous. Dangerous because he could take Penny from her. And dangerous because he was a little too attractive for a woman like her to handle.
AFTER LEAVING HOLLY and Penny, Cash headed for the center of town. Ever since Holly’s bombshell revelation last night, he’d known he needed to see his brothers, immediately.
And since there was no other way to do it, he’d agreed to join them for the worst holiday duty around: managing their kids in the long line of families that snaked through Safe Haven’s downtown park, waiting to see Santa. Their wives had dumped them off here at the park and escaped to shop and have a late lunch.
He’d agreed to help his brothers, but he hoped he’d find a chance to talk to them about the crazy results of the paternity test and the implications, which he was still trying to process. Even if the kids kept them too busy for a heart-to-heart, he craved a sense of normalcy and the support he got nowhere else but with his brothers.
They were the only people who understood him. Who’d understand why it was such a disaster for him to learn he was a father.
The smell of kettle corn and hot chocolate filled the air, and Christmas carols played over loudspeakers. Cash had to admire the business model of the early Santa visit: a captive audience, foods that played up everyone’s sense of tradition, hungry, cranky kids and parents who were feeling indulgent. Or maybe just desperate.
He spotted his brothers about halfway back in the line and headed over. No surprise, they barely had energy to say hello to him. Liam was busy with his foster son, Gino; the toddler had never visited Santa before and was scared at the prospect. Probably uncomfortable with the crowd and the noise, too. Sean was joggling his baby, Hosea, affectionately known as HoHo.
“Uncle Cash!” Sean’s twins, Hope and Hayley, rushed over to hug him, and it lifted his spirits even though he’d forgotten to stop to buy them anything. He had been so frazzled that he hadn’t stocked up the way he usually did.
What kind of father would he be when he couldn’t even remember the basic gifts required by his nieces?
“If you could just...keep them entertained.” Sean sounded harassed. “I’ve got to go change HoHo’s diaper.”
HoHo laughed and waved his arms, and Sean held him out at arm’s length, his nose wrinkling. “Be still, buddy! I forgot to bring a spare outfit.”
Cash had to chuckle. Sean did great as a dad. It was fun to see his brother totally embracing the role. “I’ve got the girls,” Cash promised.
Gino looked up at Cash fearfully and then buried his face in Liam’s leg.
“Hey, little buddy, you remember me,” Cash said. “We hung out just the other night.” But Gino kept his face hidden.
“He’s going through a fear stage, according to the social worker,” Liam said quietly. “Not really a surprise with all he’s been through. He’ll get used to you again soon.”
“I’ll be here when he does.” Cash knelt in front of the twins, more certain of his welcome. “Hey, ladies. Are you excited about seeing Santa? What are you going to ask him for?”
Hope and Hayley looked at each other, and then Hope beckoned him closer. “He’s not the real Santa,” she said with a worried frown on her face, patting his shoulder as if the news would be crushing to him.
“Is that right?” Cash actually wasn’t sure where the girls stood in relation to Santa. Did they still believe in him? They were seven, so they probably did, but kids were pretty sophisticated these days. No telling what they had heard.
Fortunately, a vendor walked by just then, carrying a rack of old-fashioned toys—ball and cups, wooden dolls that danced when you squeezed the base they stood on, brightly painted cars and trucks. Cash waved the man over. “Pick out what you want, girls,” he said, and when Hope couldn’t decide, he bought her both toys she liked, and then bought a second one for Hayley, to be fair. He picked out a colorful dog pull toy for Gino, too.
Liam rolled his eyes as he helped Gino figure out how to pull the toy. “Good thing you’re just the rich uncle. You’d go broke if you had kids of your own.”
Cash felt a chill skitter up his spine.
Cash waved down another vendor and bought giant candy canes for the twins just as Sean came back with the always-cheerful HoHo. Around them, the noise of families rose, joyous and fussy in turn. Someone jostled Hope, who was the sensitive twin, so Cash positioned himself between her and the rest of the crowd, moving her more tightly into the family circle.
Sean lifted an eyebrow at the candy and toys. “You don’t have to do that, you know,” he said to Cash. “They’ll love you even if you don’t spend a fortune on them.”
“I like buying them stuff,” Cash said, defending himself.
“Yeah, but when it’s junk food like that, it’s me and Anna who have to pay the price.”
“Sorry.” Again, worry flashed through him. “It’s not like I know anything about kids.”
Sean and Liam looked at each other and frowned. “Chill, bro, I didn’t mean that,” Sean said.
“Cash!” A pretty woman—what was her name, Chelsea something-or-other?—came up with her little girl, just the twins’ size.
“Hope! Hayley!” The little girl rushed to stand in front of the twins, smiling hugely. “We’re going to the playground. Want to come?”
“Can we, Daddy?” Identical pairs of puppy-dog eyes looked up at Sean. “We don’t want to miss Santa,” Hope said.
“We won’t,” Hayley assured her twin. “Will we, Daddy?”
For some reason, hearing the twins call Sean “Daddy” choked up Cash. The twins’ biological father had been a scumbag and was serving a long prison sentence. They’d accepted Sean as a father and he loved them dearly, as dearly as he loved HoHo, his own son with Anna.
Now, he knelt to discuss manners with them and Chelsea stepped closer to Cash. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in, like, forever!”
“Doing fine, thanks. You’re looking good.” He’d dated Chelsea a couple of times but they hadn’t really clicked. “You sure you don’t mind taking my nieces over to the playground?”
“Glad to,” Chelsea said with a winning smile. “You could come along.”
“I, um, have to talk to my brothers about something.”
“Sure,” she said easily. “I’ll bring ’em back when you get close to the front of the line. Maybe we could get some dinner later.”
“Can’t, not tonight,” Cash said.
The twins stuffed their new toys and candy into Sean’s arms. Chelsea shrugged and waved and headed over to the swings and slides, the three little girls orbiting her.
“Whoa, you’re losing your touch, brother.” Liam was kneeling beside Gino, who was varooming the dog toy as if it was a car. “Chelsea turns a lot of heads over at the Palmetto Pig. Can’t believe you let an invite like that go.”
“Other stuff on my mind,” Cash said.
“So you really do want to talk to us?” Sean put HoHo into his stroller and handed him a blue vinyl duck, which he proceeded to stuff into his mouth.
Liam looked up, then touched Gino’s chin. “You can play, but stay right here by my legs, understand?”
The toddler nodded solemnly, then squatted beside the wooden dog Cash had bought him.
Liam stood. “So what’s up?”
“A lot,” Cash said, looking from him to Sean. His heart rate jumped a little. “You know Holly, that woman I brought to the tree lighting?”
“Pretty,” Sean said, and Liam nodded.
“You remember her baby?”
“Sure,” Sean said. “About HoHo’s size.”
Cash nodded, swallowed. Looked around to see if anyone was listening in, but the crowd was noisy, as everyone focused on their own family groups. “She’s, um. She’s mine.”
Sean caught on first. “Your baby? Did you and Holly—?”
“No, no,” Cash interrupted, waving a hand. “Her sister. Tiff. It’s her baby. Holly’s raising Penny because Tiff...” To his complete embarrassment, his throat tightened to where he couldn’t get out the rest of the words.
His brothers waited, watching him.
“Tiff died,” he choked out finally, and then knelt and tickled HoHo’s chin while he pulled himself together.
He had no idea what his reaction was all about. He wasn’t usually emotional. It was like he’d caught some kind of pregnancy and childbirth hormones from being around Penny.
“Sorry, man,” Liam said, his voice gruff. “When were you seeing her? Was she from Atlanta?”
Sean extended a hand and pulled Cash to his feet. “Why didn’t you tell us you were serious about someone?”
“I wasn’t.” He drew in a breath, calmer now. “It was casual. We spent a week together when she was here on vacation and I happened to be home.” He shook his head. “I never planned to have a baby. Thought it was all taken care of, you know?”
“You sure Holly’s not scamming you?”
He nodded. “Paternity test.”
“Wow.”
They were all quiet for a few minutes. Then the line moved forward, and Gino clung to Liam’s leg. “Don’t wanna see Santa.”
Liam scooped him up, along with the wooden dog. “You don’t have to, buddy. You can just watch.”
“Yeah, Santa already came to this crowd.” Sean eyed Cash as he shifted the armful of new toys the twins had left in his care.
Pretty soon they reached the front of the line. The twins rushed back, worried they’d miss their chance, and everyone focused on the Santa visit. HoHo sat cheerfully on the exhausted-looking Santa’s lap, and Gino crept close enough that a photo could be snapped, even though he refused to interact. The twins each had a turn reciting a list of their wants.
“So what are you going to do?” Sean asked him as the twins posed.
Cash shrugged. “Pay child support. See if there’s any other way I can help a little.” Ironic that he, who was always doing his best to avoid people trying to get their hands on his money, was willing to help out with Penny.
But this was different. Penny was his child, according to the DNA results. That made it right for him to provide for her.
“Throw money at it and that’s all?” Sean frowned.
Cash lifted his hands, palms up. “What else can I do? I’ve had a million relationships, all bad.” And he didn’t want to say it out loud, but he knew the truth: he was like his father. Looked just like him, according to Sean, who remembered their father the best. More than that, he shared a lot of his father’s inner qualities, like loving money and always trying to find a way to make more of it. He remembered following their father around, even when his brothers and mother avoided him, listening to the way he talked to people, always making some kind of a deal.
Cash had been his father’s favorite, and he’d admired him. Which said a lot about who Cash was, considering what type of person their father had turned out to be.
In high school, even though Cash’s foster parents gave him plenty of material things, making money had been like a drug. He’d started a business helping people program their remote controls or video players and made a ton; he’d become president of the business club, organized fund-raisers that had financed every member’s trip to the state capital, and made the business club the cool place, gotten lots of cute girls to join. His brothers had just rolled their eyes at him. “Just like Dad,” they’d said, and, “You’re Dad’s son.”
He walked away from Sean toward the twins and Santa, who were talking with a picture-taking elf.
The Santa cleared his throat. “I remember you, young man,” he said, pointing a bony finger, which was at odds with his probably fake plump belly. “You created quite a disruption at the party for foster kids, oh, about twenty years ago.”
Cash remembered all too well, and stared at the not-so-jovial man in the red suit. “You were there?”
Santa nodded and then gestured for Hope and Hayley to smile for the camera.
From behind him, Liam snickered. “I remember, too. You were the worst of all of us.”
“Still am,” Cash said, turning away in time to catch Sean’s frown.
They collected all the kids and their things and headed toward the spot they’d planned to meet the wives, a gazebo at the center of the park. “This is serious stuff,” Sean remarked as the twins coaxed Gino to run ahead with them. “You’ve got to figure out if Holly is even fit to parent that child. If she’s not...you need to take over.”
“Me?” Cash stared at Sean. “I can’t take care of a baby.”
“If it’s the right thing to do, you can.” Sean was implacable in his big-brother mode. “You’ve got to figure out a way to get to know her, get some perspective.” He looked at Cash, then at Liam, and a smile started to cross his face. “And I know just how and where you can do it.”
Liam nodded slowly. “Out at Ma Dixie’s. Bring them both to the crab crack after Thanksgiving. Holly and the baby.”
Cash frowned. “That’s a lot to spring on her. She’s not from around here. And she’s kind of quiet.”
“But seems like she’s settling in,” Liam said. “What better way for her to get to know the area?”
What could it hurt? It certainly wouldn’t make things any worse. “I’ll think about it.” And maybe he’d take her to meet Ma and Pudge first, one-on-one. Seeing her and Penny in that environment would definitely give him more information.
He’d figured to limit his involvement to money, both because that was what Holly wanted and because he wasn’t good at deep relationships.
But Sean was right; he had a responsibility to make sure his own child was being raised right.
“My little brother, a daddy.” Sean pounded Cash’s shoulder, none too gently. “That’s almost sweet.”
Except it wasn’t. Not at all. His brothers hadn’t freaked about him having a baby, but when they gave it more thought, they’d realize just how ridiculous it was.
Maybe Ma and her longtime boyfriend, Pudge LeFrost, would have some ideas for how to handle the situation. Because Cash was fresh out of them, himself.
THE NEXT DAY, Holly trudged back to the apartment complex with Penny whimpering in her carrier. Penny, who suddenly seemed to weigh four hundred pounds. Walking two mastiffs while carrying a baby on her chest had been no joke. Especially when they’d been preceded by an excitable beagle and a pair of fussy, feisty Maltese mixes.
At least she wouldn’t need to join a gym.
Even though it was only midafternoon, her dog-walking duties were over for the day. Most working people wanted a lunchtime walk for their dogs, and she didn’t yet have any clients with afternoon or evening jobs. She tried to shove aside the tight feeling in her chest, but it wouldn’t stay away. It was going to be a lot harder to make a living when she could only walk dogs, not stay over to care for them while their owners were away. That had been the main moneymaker for her in the past, with a few dog walks in the middle of the day adding extra income.
Now, with a baby to care for, the dog-walking was the main event. And people in a small Southern town wouldn’t pay the same high rates she’d gotten so easily in New York. Yeah, the cost of living was lower, but she still wasn’t convinced her budget would balance.
“Hey, Holly!” Norma’s voice drew her to the pool enclosure, where multicolored Christmas lights already glowed on this overcast afternoon. Rita and Norma sat at one of the tables by the pool, both bundled up in thick coats. When Holly saw Norma put out a cigarette, she understood why the ladies were sitting outside even though it was chilly.
Rita stood and came over to the gate. She reached out a hand and cupped Penny’s head. “How’s the little sweetie?”
“That’s going to kill you, walking dogs with a baby strapped to you,” Norma added as she propped up her feet.
“Anytime I’m not working, I’m happy to watch her,” Rita said. “After all, I’m her grandma.”
Holly’s jaw dropped. “You know?”
Rita nodded. “Cash told me today.”
Holly studied her to see whether that revelation had upset her, but she was all smiles. “I love being a grandma,” she said. “It’s a real thrill to have another little one to love.”
“Hand her over, and you go take a nap,” Norma suggested. “You look beat.”
A part of Holly would’ve liked nothing better. But she was responsible for Penny. She and no one else, and you couldn’t count on other people—they let you down or wanted something in return. “That’s a nice offer,” she said, “but I’m fine.” She turned and headed toward the steps up to her apartment, trying to inject some energy into her walk so the ladies would believe her.
Before she got halfway up the steps, the sound of loud music assailed her. Penny started to cry.
Hmm, maybe she should have thought twice before taking the apartment here. It had been so quiet in the last few days, but this music was seriously loud. Not only that, but she also knew the song and cringed, waiting for the obscenity in the chorus.
It didn’t come. Someone was at least playing a family-friendly version.
When she reached the top of the stairs and looked down the walkway, she was stunned to see Cash gesturing and pointing as a couple of men carried boxes into the apartment next door. A speaker, small but obviously powerful, seemed to be the source of the music.
“What are you doing here?” she yelled over it.
He strode toward her, frowned, then called back over his shoulder, “Turn it down, guys.” He took the key from her, opened her apartment door and held out his hands for the baby.
She hesitated, then lifted Penny out of her carrier so Cash could take her. After all, he was her father, and although she wasn’t looking for him to be involved, she couldn’t deny him the right to see his child.
Besides, Holly was really, really tired.
Cash seemed to see that. He followed her inside and pulled out one of the kitchen chairs for her. Then he tapped at his cell phone and spoke rapidly into it in a language that sounded Asian, the tones rising and falling.
“Hope you like Chinese food,” he said. “It’ll be here in thirty minutes.” He opened her refrigerator, found a pitcher of tea and poured her a glass.
“Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” she said, but without heat. It was kind of nice to have someone taking care of her.
“I am making myself at home. I’m moving in next door.”
“What?” Her heart lifted dangerously at his words.
“I’m your new neighbor,” he said. “Don’t look so shocked. I’m subletting until Christmas.”
“But why? You have another place just a few miles away.”
“Converting that into an office, a temporary one,” he said. “Look, I know you said you don’t need for me to be involved, but I figure I should at least help out while you get settled.”
Whoa. Holly’s stomach knotted, and sweat broke out on her forehead and neck despite the cool day. Cash, here? Right next door? Staking a claim and invading her privacy?
Despite her tension, she was surprised to feel her shoulders relax a little. It would be nice to have some help from Penny’s father, just for a bit. And she was reluctantly impressed that he seemed to want to be close to Penny, even if it meant setting up housekeeping in a place decorated with inflatable Swimming Santas.
After she’d gulped down some tea and Cash had gotten Penny to stop crying, Holly warmed up a bottle and fed her. Cash went back next door to give more instructions to the guys who were moving him in.
She couldn’t believe that, within thirty-six hours, he had accepted his paternity and moved his residence to take responsibility for it. On the one hand, she knew it was a good thing. She needed Cash to step up to the plate and it looked like he was going to do that.
The only problem was, what she actually wanted from him wasn’t hands-on parenting, but money to help support Penny. She would have to figure out a way to talk to him about it.
The food came, and Cash waved aside her offer to pay. He pulled out a big wad of bills—it figured that was how would pay for things, flashy as he was—and again, spoke to the delivery guy in that tonal language. As he opened cartons at her small kitchen table, she asked him about it. “When did you learn to speak Mandarin?”
“Cantonese,” he corrected. “I do a lot of business in southern China.”
“What other languages do you speak?” She was kind of joking.
He waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Oh, Spanish and a few other Asian languages, but I’m not very good at them.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Are you good at Cantonese? Because that man seemed to understand you pretty well.”
“I get by. So what do you like? I ordered some Szechuan, because I like spicy, but there’s pork-fried rice if you’d rather have something more plain. And this is a tofu eggplant dish, in case you don’t eat meat.”
“Don’t you think of everything.” She smiled up at him. “It all looks fantastic. Thank you.”
After they’d eaten their fill, Cash held Penny while Holly put away the rest of the food. By the time she had wiped down the table, Penny was dozing off. “Since she didn’t have much of a nap today, I’m going to put her to bed now,” she said. Then she added, “Unless you want to do it.” Such a strange feeling, having Cash here for Penny’s bedtime again.
She should worry about it, and no doubt she would. But having him here, having another adult she could talk to and share her concerns with, made muscles loosen that she hadn’t known were tight.
He smiled with what looked like gratitude. “Thanks for the offer. I’d better watch what you do one more time.”
“Sure. I guess it’s something you’ll need to learn, since you’re her father.”
He drew in a deep breath. “I’m still trying to get used to that word.”
“Seems like you’re doing a pretty good job, considering that you moved in next door.” She shot a glare over her shoulder. “And told your mom.”
“Did that bother you?”
She shook her head. “I was just surprised.”
“What can I say, I’m a man of action. Lead on.”
That made her nervous.
She took Penny into the bedroom and stopped, surprised. “There’s a rocking chair here.”
Cash held up his hands, palms out. “Wasn’t me. The ladies in the rental office found one to bring in for you. Apparently it circulates through the furnished apartments, depending on who has a baby that needs rocking.”
“That’s nice.” It was. And it also made her nervous. How could she keep a safe distance from people who were acting so helpful and kind?
She put Penny on the floor to change her diaper, but Cash waved her away. “This, I actually know how to do,” he said.
“You do?” Even men who loved their role as uncle rarely got this down and dirty about it.
“My brother Sean insisted. Said it was something every man needed to know. I think he was really just making sure I’d be available to babysit when he wanted to take his wife out.” While he spoke, he deftly did the cleaning, wiping and diapering. He swung up Penny, but when she started to chortle, he tucked her quickly against his chest. “Sorry. I know it’s wrong to get her excited right before bedtime.”
“I think you know more about babies than I do.” She held out her arms for Penny and cuddled her close, sniffing her sweaty, baby-shampoo-scented head. Then she sat down in the rocking chair. “She’ll love being rocked to sleep. You can stay if you want.”
“Should I be quiet?”
“You can talk a little, but not loud.” Holly rocked gently, the weight of the baby in her lap and arms anchoring her. She loved these quiet moments with Penny. She was almost sorry that the baby was so tired she started to drift off immediately.
Cash leaned against the doorjamb and watched, and only when Penny had sighed and nestled closer to Holly, indicating that she was asleep, did he speak. “I drew up a child-support plan, with the help of my lawyer.” He named a monthly figure that was three times as high as what she’d expected him to offer.
“It’s too much!” she blurted out, and then clamped her mouth shut. That much money made her uneasy even though she’d come here wanting financial help from Cash, and she needed to think about why.
“Huh.” Cash let out a short laugh. “Never heard a woman say that before.”
She stared at him. “How many times have women asked you for child support?”
“More than you might think.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “But they weren’t my kids. Penny is, and I’ve been thinking about it. Penny’s more my responsibility than yours. I’m the one who had a relationship with Tiff that ended up making a baby. You had nothing to do with that, and you’re taking care of her out of the kindness of your heart.”
“She’s my family, too!” Holly didn’t like the turn this conversation had taken. Cash had so many advantages over her—money and connections. And now he’d realized he had a closer biological relationship with Penny as well.
“You shouldn’t suffer for something I did,” he went on. “She’s my daughter. So I want to pay whatever is needed for her to have a good life.”
Holly’s grip tightened on the baby. She wasn’t comfortable with Cash focusing on how much more Penny belonged to him than to her. It sounded...possessive. “I want to pay and contribute. She’s my niece. She’s my responsibility, too.”
He waved a hand at the room. “I want her to have more than this.”
“Excuse me?” Holly stood up too fast and Penny twisted in her arms, her face crinkling like she was about to cry.
The thoughtless judgment in Cash’s gesture, in the way he looked around the humble bedroom, made her want to smack him, a totally uncharacteristic feeling for her, and certainly not a way for a caregiver to act.
She drew in a calming breath, biting off the angry words she wanted to say. Carefully, she placed Penny in the Pack ’n’ Play, put her favorite snuggly toy in her arms and patted her back until she settled again.
It gave her time to think. “Look, Cash, if you feel like that’s the right amount of child support to pay, I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll just put what we don’t need in a savings account, for college. But I’m not going to quit working or move into some fancy place just so you feel more at home. This apartment is perfectly fine for a baby, and seeing me work is good for her.”
He studied her, frowning. “You’re your own person, aren’t you?”
“Of course,” she said, and led the way back out to the living room. She hoped he would leave now. She needed time to process everything that had happened today.
No such luck. “I want to talk to you about something I’m going to do on the advice of Rita and my brothers,” he said.
“Oh, what’s that?” She didn’t sit down, didn’t offer him a seat or a drink. Go home, she tried to say without words.
“There’s a parenting class at the women’s center.” He pulled out his phone and scrolled while Holly’s mind reeled. A parenting class? What was he implying?
“Here it is,” he said. He showed her an informational page. “Rita told me about it. It’s for parents of infants and babies, or people who are fostering or have a court-related order. Emphasis on special needs.” He glanced toward the bedroom and then back at Holly. “I’d like to take Penny and do these classes,” he said.
The tightness in her chest got worse. “Are you trying to take her from me?”
“No!” He stared at her. “I’m just trying to learn and figure this out, so I can see her and know her. Take care of her without completely screwing up.”
But Holly was suspicious. All she’d heard was “take Penny.”
She started toward the door, hoping he’d follow, then stopped halfway to look at the picture of Tiff she’d hung on the wall.
I know you wanted me to bring her here and get Cash’s help, but how well did you know him, really?
But Tiff wasn’t here now, couldn’t answer, couldn’t help Holly make decisions about her baby. She turned abruptly, causing Cash to stop. “You can do the parenting class,” she said, “and you can take Penny. But only if I can do it with you.”