ON MONDAY, Holly pushed open the door of the Safe Haven Public Library and held it while she lifted Penny out of her stroller and attempted to fold it with one hand. The diaper bag flopped to the ground.
It sure would be nice to have someone to help.
The thought seemed like self-betrayal. You don’t need any help, she told herself as she finally managed to get the stroller into its folded-up position. She leaned it against the wall of the library just inside the door, shifted outside for her diaper bag and finally made it inside.
Despite the cool December day, she was sweating.
But coming to the library was preferable to sitting in her apartment, stewing over Cash O’Dwyer and Penny’s motor skills. Besides, it was good for Penny to get out.
Just like when she’d done the baby lap-sit, the fragrance of old books took her back to childhood days, when she and Tiff had hung out in the various public libraries near the places they’d lived. Tiff had soon tired of them and found other places to spend her time, but Holly had loved the combination of a peaceful environment and exciting books. No matter whether their home situation was good, bad or neutral—they’d experienced all three, sometimes in breathtakingly fast succession—she’d found the library a safe and stable place, often used it as a second home.
She could hear people talking softly near the circulation desk, but mostly the place was quiet. Hmm. Not necessarily baby-friendly. Would Penny be too loud for this place?
It was very possible, but for now, she held on to Holly’s shoulder and stared wide-eyed at the tall Christmas tree decorated with messy, handmade book ornaments of various sorts, probably the product of some children’s activity. Tinsel was draped around the edges of the room, also drawing Penny’s curious gaze.
Holly was more attracted to the display of Christmas books, cozy mysteries and romances with cute covers that promised a fun escape.
You’re not here for an escape, you’re here for information.
Although she did want to escape from thoughts of the kiss she’d shared with Cash at the women’s center, the kiss that had shaken her to the core. Even now, thinking about it, her stomach did flip-flops and her skin broke out in a light sweat.
Not only was Cash handsome and kind, but he was also an amazing kisser.
But she’d pushed him away for good reason, and it was just self-torture to second-guess that decision. Look how overbearing he’d gotten about Penny’s size and way of crawling. He’d as much as told her it was her fault.
His words had planted a question in her mind, though, one she hoped to answer here.
She wandered through the well-organized displays of bestsellers and magazines, thinking about Cash. His pushiness at the church was annoying, but she couldn’t fault him for his concern. Would actually like to have him around more, so she could bounce ideas off him and share the burden of helping Penny achieve her developmental milestones.
And kiss him some more.
But no. No way. Now that she was learning more about Cash’s family and the Safe Haven community, she found it was even harder to reconcile what Tiff had done.
She couldn’t betray her sister and jeopardize Penny’s future by revealing that Tiff had gotten pregnant on purpose to get something out of Cash. But she couldn’t get close to Cash while hiding that kind of a secret.
She’d seen people acting selfishly and manipulating other people in her childhood and even among the rich people she’d dog-sat for in New York. Among many of those folks, Tiff’s deception wouldn’t have drawn a second glance.
But people didn’t do that sort of thing here. Not that small-town residents were perfect—just look at Mitch Mitchell—but there was a sort of self-policing mechanism at work in a place like Safe Haven. The fact that neighbors knew each other’s business meant that you couldn’t act too far out of line and get away with it. Case in point: word that Mitch was wrong and that she was a good dog walker had spread quickly around town. Two of her lost clients had already come back.
She made her way over to the bank of computers and quickly figured out the cataloging system, keeping Penny entertained in her lap with goldfish crackers. She’d pick out a book or two and get going before Penny started to fuss.
But when she went over to look up the books she’d found, she ended up browsing through the whole child-development section. There was a world of information here, and she wanted to study all of it, now. She’d always done well in school, had taken a couple of community-college courses in New York and planned to keep going when she could. She loved to learn.
She pulled some books off the shelves and started to skim through the first one, but Penny wasn’t having it. She thrashed and babbled, and when Holly wouldn’t set her free to crawl around, she began to cry in earnest.
“Shhh, sweetie, shhh.” She bounced Penny, to no avail. “Okay, okay, we’ll leave. Just let me get these books checked out, if they’ll give me a library card—or maybe not—”
“Can I help you?”
“Oh!” Startled, Holly turned to see the woman who’d scolded Mitch Mitchell when he’d yelled at her in front of his shop. She seemed to have materialized out of nowhere.
Holly struggled to contain Penny and hold out a hand. “Hi, Miss Vi. I’m so sorry we were loud. I...we’ll be on our way.”
“That’s one sound that doesn’t ever get shushed in this library,” the woman said. “I run this place, and I’m all in favor of getting kids started here early.”
The absence of judgment calmed Holly, and she remembered then how positive Miss Vi had been about mothers who worked. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Penny loved the baby lap-sit program, and I—we—will definitely get her more involved with the library as she gets older.”
“Good. Now, can I take your books up to the counter for you?” Without waiting for an answer, Miss Vi took the stack of books Holly had been holding and started walking toward the front desk, slowing to let Holly and Penny catch up, soundless in her orthopedic shoes.
They’d just reached the desk when a twentysomething woman in workout clothes and expensive-looking furry boots rushed up to them. “Oh, my gosh, wait here. I have a whole bag of baby clothes for you.” She turned and headed toward the library’s exit. “I’m Chelsea, by the way. Don’t go anywhere.”
Holly stared after her, bemused. “I don’t even know her,” she murmured.
“No, but she may know you. That’s how small towns are.” Miss Vi cracked a slight smile. “Especially when you’re raising Cash O’Dwyer’s baby. Here’s the form to fill out for a library card.”
Holly took the form and pen the librarian was holding out to her. “I’m confused. What’s that got to do with a bag of baby clothes?”
Miss Vi was opening the books she’d carried to the counter for Holly, preparing to check them out. “Half the women in this town have a crush on Cash. It helps that he’s wealthy and not around much to reveal his feet of clay.” She smiled wryly. “Some of them may have figured out that the way to his heart is through his baby.”
Holly didn’t care for that idea at all. No, she couldn’t have Cash’s heart for herself, but she didn’t want to watch a bunch of other women compete for it.
Not my business. She filled out the form while Miss Vi played peekaboo with Penny, making her laugh.
“Hi, Holly, Penny, Miss Vi.” Anna O’Dwyer came over, smiling widely. “I was hoping to run into you. I brought you a Christmas gift.” She rummaged in her giant bag, shifting HoHo to her other hip. “I mean, I’m sure we’ll get together for Christmas, but this is for beforehand.” She located a gift bag and pulled it out. “It’s a Christmas outfit for Penny. You should hold it up and see if it looks like it’ll fit. I have no perspective, since I’m already buying twenty-four-month clothes for this behemoth.”
Discomfort gnawed at Holly’s stomach, warring with a strong desire to see whatever cute Christmas outfit Anna had bought for Penny. Both women looked at her expectantly, and so she set down Penny on the carpeted floor beside HoHo and pulled out the outfit, a red-on-white striped dress with white-on-red striped stretchy pants to go underneath. “See,” Anna said, “I like things that they can wear even after Christmas, so it’s not got reindeers or anything like that. But it’s festive. I always wanted to buy stuff like that for my twins when they were tiny, but I couldn’t, so...you’ll just have to indulge me. Do you think it’ll fit?”
“Wow, it’s adorable.” Holly held it up and looked at the size tag. “It should fit perfectly. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome. Uh-oh.” Anna looked down at HoHo, then knelt and picked him up. “When his eyes get droopy like that I have about ten minutes until nap time, and I’d like to get him home for that. Great to see you.” And she was off.
Chelsea came back, hauling a big bag. “Here are the clothes,” she said, thrusting the bag into Holly’s arms. “All designer, and barely worn. Be sure and tell Cash they’re from Chelsea.” She turned and rushed off toward an adorable little girl who was headed out the door on her own.
“Told you so,” Miss Vi said, sounding amused. “Overwhelmed yet?”
“A little bit,” Holly admitted. “I guess I thought of the library as a quiet place, but everyone in town seems to be here today.”
“It’s the library open house,” Miss Vi explained. “We have activities going on all day, and most of the town stops in for cider or to check out a Christmas book or pick up a gift for their kids.”
“That’s great. For the library to be such a central part of the community.”
“That’s how we like it in Safe Haven.” Miss Vi took a laminated library card from a machine behind the counter and handed it to Holly. “There you go. I hope we haven’t scared you away.”
“Not at all. I guess...I’m not used to this. I’m the independent type, and I just moved here from living in New York.”
“Nothing wrong with being independent,” Miss Vi said as she stacked up Holly’s books. “Anna was very independent when she moved here.”
“You’re kidding.” She thought of Anna surrounded by her loving family: her kids and Sean, Sean’s brother Liam and his wife, Yasmin. And Cash, whenever he was in town. Anna seemed deeply enmeshed in family and community. Holly had almost felt jealous.
But, of course, Anna had come in vulnerable, guiltless. While she, Holly, was participating in a deception.
“Need help getting your things to your car? I’ll hold my granddaughter.” It was Rita, and before Holly could even respond, she’d swept Penny out of her arms. “You go load up the car and I’ll bring Penny out in a minute.”
What could she say but “thank you” without seeming ungracious? There was no reason for Rita to remember that Holly didn’t own a car. And she was grateful for the help, didn’t know how she’d have gotten books and clothes, diaper bag and baby all out of here on her own.
Didn’t, in fact, know how she was going to carry it all home, but she wasn’t going to impose on any of these generous, too-knowing Safe Haven residents, so she jammed the clothes and books into the stroller and a bag she could hang on the back once Penny was strapped inside.
She needed to focus on finalizing plans for the dog photos with Santa she was setting up. Pudge had agreed to play Santa, and they’d arranged to make it happen tomorrow night. She’d spent Sunday afternoon putting up flyers and posting online, and she’d already heard from seven dog owners who definitely wanted to attend. Today she was going to make calls to all her clients, current and former, to see if they’d like a complimentary photo with Santa.
Thinking about her business and ways to grow it calmed her down, distracted her from the friendly intrusiveness of the Safe Haven community.
She had to admit, the people here were kind, and she was grateful. But the feeling of connectedness, with its hint of dependency, was way out of her comfort zone.
ON WEDNESDAY, Rita knelt beside Taffy on the front porch of Ma Dixie’s place, trying to calm the dog while Norma rang the doorbell and then knocked at the door.
Taffy broke free of Rita’s grip and took off for the side of the porch, and only Rita’s frantic grab of the leash kept her close. Tugged to the ground on one hip, her shoulder aching, Rita had a moment of wishing she’d listened to Jimmy and let him talk her out of taking on a dog with issues.
Then Taffy checked back in with her, jumping up to lick her face, banging hard into her cheekbone. It hurt, but her heart melted. Taffy was a sweet dog who’d had almost no training or stimulation. The ordinary world, smelling of marsh and fish and squirrels, almost overwhelmed her with terror and joy.
“Taffy needs a lot of help,” she told Norma as she regained control of the dog, shortening her leash and putting a hand in front of her chest to restrain her. “And Pudge is really excited about training her.” She lowered her voice. “He’s been sick, but he still needs to feel useful.”
“Coming, coming.” Ma Dixie’s voice from inside the little house sounded frazzled, and when the woman answered the door, her face was flushed, her grey hair coming out of its usual neat bun. Her eyes went from Norma to Rita to Taffy, on her hind legs and pawing at the air. “Oh, my lands, you’ve come to work with Pudge, haven’t you? And he’s not even here. Come on in.”
“We can come back another...” Rita’s words trailed off as Ma shook her head and held the door open for Norma and Rita. Taffy had an attack of shyness and hung back, but Ma reached down and wiggled her fingers, and Taffy finally darted forward to lick them.
“Pudge is having some trouble with his medications,” she explained as she took their coats and hung them on a row of hooks beside the door. “He had a good time playing Santa for the dogs last night, but he stayed too long. Missed taking one of his pills, so he took two when he got home even though I told him not to... Anyway, he felt poorly this morning. Cash ran him in to his doctor for some tests while I stayed here to do my Christmas baking. Speaking of... Oh, no!” She turned and hurried from the room.
Norma and Rita followed and watched as she quickly pulled a tray of some kind of nut bar from the oven, sniffed it and then set it on the table on top of a couple of hot plates. “Just in time,” she said.
Rita looked around at the pans and bowls and trays, a mess the likes of which she’d rarely seen at Ma’s house, even when it was full of kids and guests. “We can help you finish up,” she said.
“If we don’t figure out something to do with that dog, we’ll be more of a hindrance than a help.” Norma frowned at Taffy, who was flinging herself at the counter, where a dozen eggs and a stick of butter perched precariously.
Ma wiped her hands on a dish towel. “We’ll put her out in the big pen with a nice soup bone to chew on. Pudge will get a kick out of seeing her when he gets home.” A shadow crossed her face for a moment and was quickly gone.
Rita glanced at Norma, wondering if she’d seen it. From the tilt of her head and the slight frown she wore as she studied Ma, Rita was guessing she had.
She quickly settled Taffy in the outdoor pen and came back in to find Ma pouring coffee for her and Norma at the kitchen table. “We’re only staying if you’ll put us to work,” she warned. “We don’t want to add to your burdens. We want to lighten them.”
“Honey, just having the company of some adult women I like is help enough.” Ma smiled. “But I’m too smart to turn down your offer. One of you can grease this pan and then put in a layer of graham crackers, all matched up like bricks.” She shoved the materials toward Norma. “And the other one can slice up these pecan-sandie logs. I think they’ve been cooling long enough.” She opened the ancient refrigerator and pulled out four long rolls of dough wrapped in waxed paper, then handed them to Rita along with a cutting board and a knife.
“Just how many cookies do you bake?” Norma asked as she worked on lining the pan with graham crackers.
Ma smiled. “Never enough. Christmas is when most of my fosters come back to say hello. Lots of times they bring kids of their own. I’m behind on my preparations this year.” Again the shadow crossed her face.
Rita glanced at Norma, then back at Ma. “How’s Pudge doing?” she asked as she sliced cookies and set them in neat rows on a cookie sheet.
Ma’s hands stilled for a moment, then resumed their stirring of something that smelled rich and caramel-like. “He’ll be all right. He always is.” She smiled with her mouth, but not her eyes. “How’s that man of yours?” she asked, smiling at Rita for real this time. “Gotten used to the idea of you having a dog in your life?”
“Nope.” Rita shrugged. “Guess I should have consulted him, but...”
“But you’re not his wife, or his slave,” Norma said.
“You get to make your own decisions,” Ma added. “What about you?” she asked Norma. “I heard something about you taking up with a neighbor man.”
Norma snorted. “Stephen. You can’t really say we’ve taken up together when he runs so hot and cold.”
“And you don’t?” Rita asked, keeping her voice mild.
Norma glared.
“Appreciate your men, that’s all I can say.” Ma poured a thin trickle of vanilla into the pot on the stove, then pulled a pan of pecans out of the oven and slid them onto a cutting board. She rocked a big knife over them, chopping them, and then stirred them into the pot. “Got that base ready for me?” she asked Norma.
“Sure thing.” Norma pushed the pan toward Ma and she poured the creamy mixture over the top, spreading it out with a spoon until it coated the graham crackers.
Rita sliced the last of the pecan sandies, reflecting on what Ma had said. It was true; she needed to appreciate Jimmy. Although he was annoying her with his reaction to Taffy, it was just possible that her issues were her own, that he was the one with a normal concept of how independent you should be when you were in a relationship.
They worked, chatting companionably, for another hour and then Cash and Pudge arrived home, the big man looking wan and pale. He forced a smile for Rita and apologized for not notifying her he’d be gone, and then Cash quickly helped him back to bed. Cash emerged and Ma went back into the bedroom and shut the door.
“How is he?” Rita asked her son.
Cash shrugged. “He wouldn’t tell me and he wouldn’t let me go back in to see the doctor with him. I don’t know.” He moved his shoulders as if they were tight, looked out the window and then did a double take. “You brought Taffy! Mind if I go out and see her?”
“Help yourself,” she said, although she’d have preferred Cash stay inside and talk with her.
But as she watched him jog out to the pen, release Taffy and throw a stick for the ecstatic pup, she had another flashback.
She remembered Cash throwing sticks for another dog, when he was much smaller.
Her memory was coming back. Which should have been a good thing, a thrill.
Only this time, the sweet picture of a boy and his dog was tinged with terror, a looming bad presence.
Orin.
CASH KNOCKED ON the door of Holly’s apartment Wednesday night, and while he waited for her to answer, he found himself straightening his collar and checking his teeth in his phone’s reverse camera. He hadn’t been this nervous picking up a woman in years.
And it wasn’t even a date, or at least, it wasn’t supposed to be. It was the parenting class’s Christmas party, the one for which they’d prepared the photo booth last week.
Just the thought of that experience made Cash sweat. He shouldn’t have kissed her, he guessed, but he’d wanted her badly. Still did, and for more than kissing. She was a beautiful woman with an unconscious sensuality that gave a man all kinds of ideas. But she was also kind, and good, and fun to be with.
He’d have called her wife material if he’d wanted a wife.
The door opened, and there was Holly. The color in her cheeks was high, and well it should be because she looked hot. She wore a green sweater-type dress that showed her sweet curves. Her hair was down, not in its usual ponytail, and was styled in waves that made him want to touch them, they looked so soft. She was just of average height, but her legs looked a mile long in high boots.
His mouth went dry as more sweat broke out on the back of his neck. “You look great,” he blurted out.
“Thanks.” She gave a half smile he couldn’t interpret, and he felt awkward, like he’d said something inappropriate. “I’ll get Penny. She’s not quite ready so...you may as well come on in.”
“I know I’m a little early. I’m sorry.” He followed her inside, sat down on the edge of the couch and drummed his fingers, and then stood again when she came out of the back bedroom with Penny. “I just thought we should be on the early side since, you know, we made the photo booth and all—”
“I remember,” she interrupted.
What was that expression on her face? Was that a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and laughter behind her big grey eyes, or was he imagining things?
She was fussing with Penny now, adjusting something on the shoulder of her dress. “This outfit is so cute, and it’s adjustable so it can kind of, like, grow with her. But it’s hard to get these buttons done up right.”
Penny struggled and twisted, causing Holly to lose what progress she’d made. She said something under her breath and started over.
“Let me help.” He hurried over, knelt down and held Penny still while Holly worked on the buttons. “It seems like she’s getting more active and energetic all the time. Speaking of which...I’m sorry I acted like you were neglecting her needs, that day she was crawling backward. You do a terrific job with her.”
“Thanks!” As she worked on the buttons, she flashed him a smile that took away his breath.
She smelled incredible. Cash really, really wanted to pull her into his arms.
“Anna got her this dress.” Apparently oblivious to his desires, she nodded down at the red-and-white confection. “So cute, and you can tell it’s really well made. She must have spent a fortune on it.”
“It’s pretty.” Cash could hardly focus on what she was saying, he was struggling so hard not to reveal his intense attraction to her. This close, the fragrance of her perfume was mingling with some flowery shampoo she used, and when her hair swung his way, he drew in a slow, delicious breath.
She glanced up at him. Had she noticed?
But no, she looked back down at Penny and was now putting a little pair of moccasins on her. And oh, man, she was wearing makeup. That was what made her eyes look so huge. Unlike most men, he didn’t mind a little makeup on a woman, especially if she knew how to use it.
Holly did.
“Oh, and that reminds me,” she said as she finished with the outfit and rose smoothly to her feet, leaving Cash feeling a slight chill. “This woman named Chelsea gave me a bag of clothes for Penny. She wanted me to make sure you knew it was from her.” She waved a hand at a shopping bag standing in the corner of the room. “I haven’t had time to go through it yet. And even though I’ve got Penny set up in her own bedroom now, it’s tiny and space is tight. Maybe you’d like to keep those clothes at your place?”
He was still having trouble focusing. “Where’d you say they came from?”
“From Chelsea,” she said with emphasis, as if he was a little slow. “Miss Vi thought she probably was someone you’d dated before, or someone who wants to date you.”
“Chelsea...oh, that Chelsea. Wonder why she gave you clothes.” He shrugged. “Are you ready?”
“Heartbreaker.” She shook her head, smiling a little. Then she handed him her coat.
He helped her into it, wondering about Holly. She didn’t act experienced with men, didn’t act interested for the most part—although that kiss had been an exception, at least for a minute—but she expected a man to treat her right, to help her with her coat and hold the door.
He liked that. She had confidence, and now that she was settled into Safe Haven, it was showing more and more.
Ten minutes later, they walked into the women’s center, Holly holding Penny and Cash holding the diaper bag. Sure enough, they were the first ones there, except for Norma and her friend Stephen, who were moving tables and putting up crepe-paper decorations. The big poodle they seemed to be raising together, Snowball, was lying glumly on the floor in the corner of the room, head on paws, looking ashamed of her antler headpiece and bedazzled green coat.
“I’ll go help,” Holly said, turning toward them.
“Holly.” Cash didn’t know what made him put a hand on her arm. “Don’t.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Pardon me?”
Now how was he going to justify that request? Should he tell the truth: that he wanted her by his side? Even though she’d as much as told him she didn’t want to be there?
A look at her skeptical, quizzical face suggested not. “You work too much. We put together the photo booth.” Lord help him, he’d almost called it the kissing booth. “Just sit down and relax.”
“You sound like Tiff,” she said, and a bleak expression flashed across her face. She pulled out a chair at one of the long tables and sat, Penny on her lap but struggling to get down.
He sat beside them, grabbed a blanket out of the diaper bag and spread it on the floor, then set Penny on it. “Did Tiff tell you you needed to relax more?” he asked as he dug in the diaper bag for toys that could keep Penny entertained.
She nodded. “All the time. She was definitely the happy-go-lucky one.” She looked at Penny, then reached down and placed a hand on her back as if she needed the comfort. “Which was great, until it wasn’t.”
Cash blew out a sigh. He knew what she meant. The Tiff he’d known had seemed fun-loving and carefree, definitely not the type to read child-raising books and go to a parenting group like Holly was doing. “I don’t know if I told you this,” he said, “or if I told you enough, but I’m sorry for what happened. With her, you know, getting pregnant.”
“It takes two. Tiff knew what she was doing.”
“True. But it must have been pretty surprising for her to find out she was expecting, especially since she was on birth control and everything.”
Something changed in Holly’s face and he tried to interpret it, rewinding what he’d just said. “She was on birth control, wasn’t she?”
Holly bit her lip. “I don’t... I just don’t know. We weren’t the kind of sisters who shared all the details, unfortunately, and when she was pregnant and giving birth, we were estranged.”
“She told me she was.” Cash was sure of it, even though the conversation had taken place at a bar, where they’d both had a couple drinks more than they should have. He prided himself on always having that conversation before things got too heated.
Holly nodded and got very busy rubbing a spot of something green on Penny’s sleeve.
She was acting weird, and Cash’s gut twisted just a little. He’d had a situation once before where a woman had claimed to be on birth control and wasn’t, and had threatened a paternity suit on him. Just someone else trying to get at his money. Fortunately, or so he’d thought at the time, she’d miscarried, or said she had; in fact, he wasn’t sure the pregnancy had ever been real.
Now that he had Penny, his perspective had changed entirely. He wasn’t a crazy bachelor who just wanted freedom at all costs. He’d held his own flesh-and-blood child, taken care of her, come to love her.
If that long-ago fling had conceived a child with him and miscarried it...it could have been another Penny.
He swallowed hard, then picked up his daughter and held her close against his chest.
Her life was precious. He’d fight to the death to protect her.
And the idea of casually, carelessly hooking up with women held zero appeal for him now. The potential of an unplanned pregnancy was so real, as real as the sweet child in his arms.
Not just that, but how would he like a man to treat his daughter the way he’d treated women over the years? Oh, he’d never been unkind, never made promises he couldn’t keep. But had he been loving and honorable and chivalrous, the way he’d want a man to be around Penny?
He looked up and realized Holly was watching him and Penny, a tender look in her eyes.
His lack of desire for casual flings just might have something to do with her, too. He didn’t want to treat her that way, and he had the feeling she wouldn’t stand for it, anyway.
But he did want her, more and more all the time.
People were starting to drift in, so any chance of pursuing the conversation about Tiff went away. Which was okay. He’d come to realize how different Holly was from her sister. Even if Tiff had deceived him about birth control—which didn’t make sense, since she’d been the last person to want a baby—it had nothing to do with Holly.
“Look, Cash,” she said, leaning closer so they wouldn’t be overheard, “Tiff made some mistakes, a lot of them actually. But her heart was in the right place. Whatever she did wrong had to do with the people she was running with.” Her expression darkened. “One in particular.”
Her voice shook when she said it, and he opened his mouth to ask more, but suddenly Christmas music blared out loudly, along with squeaky feedback from the old-fashioned sound system.
“Turn it down, Stephen!” Norma called across the room.
Penny started to cry, and a couple of other babies joined in.
He stood, Penny still in his arms, and held out a hand to Holly. “Should we mingle?”
“Yeah. Good idea.”
As they walked over toward the other members of the class, he touched her back to guide her, and she didn’t move away.
The Christmas decorations and music, the small group of couples with kids they’d started to get close to—it felt like some mushy holiday movie to Cash, and he was usually too cynical for that sort of thing. But as people greeted them and exclaimed over Penny’s cute outfit, as he watched Holly laugh at someone’s joke and accept a cup of hot chocolate from Norma, a deep sense of rightness settled into his soul.
All the years he’d spent chasing money, all his business successes, had felt nothing near as good as this moment. In his town, with his daughter, with his friends. With Holly.
They chatted and ate small plates of decadent food and admired all the other children. Holly got talked into attending a meeting of a local entrepreneurs group. Santa came, and half the kids, including Penny, freaked out at the sight of the big bearded man in the red suit, so Holly and Cash weren’t alone in soothing a screaming baby. Penny calmed down, and they got a picture in the photo booth that, when he saw it, made his breath catch because they looked like a real family.
Cash wanted it to be a real family. His family.
His phone was buzzing insistently in his pocket, and finally Holly told him he should just go ahead and take it. He checked and saw that the call came from an unknown number. “I don’t need to—” he began, and then realized he had a bunch of work messages, too.
“Go on. We’re fine.” She smiled up at him. “You know you want to.”
Thing was, he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay right here with Holly and Penny, but it was probably smart to get a little distance before he ended up sinking down on one knee and proposing to her.
He shot a group message to all his business texts and then clicked into the voice mail that had come from the call.
The message he heard chilled him. Deeply, like his very bones had turned to ice. “Hey, um, Cash,” it said. “Give me a call at this number as soon as you can.” There was a long pause, and then... “It’s your father.”
HOLLY HELPED PENNY eat a couple of the crunchy cookies specially made for babies—no peanuts, no eggs, no possible allergens of any sort—and then wiped her face. She accepted a second piece of amazing chocolate-pecan fudge that one of the other mothers had made, and enjoyed the jazzy, hip Christmas playlist in the background. As she talked to the couples from the parenting class, she realized she was starting to consider them as friends. Liam and Yasmin came in, and they almost felt like family.
Heady stuff for a girl who’d never belonged anywhere.
She tried to stay focused on Penny and the other party guests, but it was impossible to keep from glancing over at Cash every couple of minutes. He’d gone out into the hallway but was still visible through the open door.
He was so handsome, real movie-star material, with his dark hair and blue eyes and sexy build, all wrapped up in a cashmere sweater and Italian leather shoes. Talking on his phone, he looked like an important rich guy, just as he had when she’d first encountered him. But she knew him so much better now, and she knew that beneath the suave exterior was the heart of a small-town boy.
“Are you and Cash married?” one of the women asked. Her daughter, Bianca, was three years old and wore leg braces that barely slowed her down. Now, Bianca’s mom caught her by the shoulders and helped her turn back toward them. Bianca caught sight of Penny, grabbed the toy out of her hand and started jingling it in Penny’s face.
“Gentle, Bianca,” the mom said. “Sorry. It’s like impossible to have a conversation. And I was probably being too nosy, anyway, asking about you and Cash.”
Her words made Holly blush for some reason. “No, we’re not married,” she said.
“See? I knew it. You guys are way too conscious of each other to be married.”
Norma approached in time to hear the remark. “That’s how husbands and wives should be—attentive,” she said.
“We’re not even dating!” Holly said and then looked away. She could tell that both women wanted her to confide about her feelings for Cash, but those were too new for her to even consider revealing to people she barely knew.
Fortunately, Cash strode back toward them just then. He greeted the other two women and took Penny from her arms.
He was still acting the devoted father, but his face had changed completely, from warm and open to hard and closed. As soon as the others’ attention was diverted by an announcement of some door prizes, she leaned closer to him. “Is something wrong?”
“No, why?”
“You look upset.”
He shrugged, looked away.
“Bad business news?” she persisted.
“What? No, no.”
Obviously he didn’t want to talk about it. She should accept that and let it go. Prying would mean she wanted to get closer, to be more in his life.
I do want that.
The thought made her heart flutter. She’d never wanted to be deeply involved before. She’d actually avoided involvement. Was this real?
A deep, shaky-but-settling feeling in her chest suggested that maybe, just maybe, it was real.
She plunged in again. “Cash, if you’re having trouble, I’d like to know about it. We’re friends.” She tugged him toward two side-by-side folding chairs in a corner of the room, where there was no one nearby to overhear.
“Is that what we are?” he asked, his voice that of a practiced flirt. “Friends?”
She put a hand on his arm. “Don’t, Cash. Don’t cover it over with...that.” She waved a hand at him.
“With what?”
“That fake romantic stuff.”
“It’s not fake, Holly.”
Her heart pounded, but she ignored it. “Okay, it’s not fake, but you’re covering up something real. What’s bothering you?”
He met her eyes, studied her, then shook his head. “Holly, Holly, Holly. What’s going on between us?”
“You’re avoiding telling me why that phone call upset you so much.” She caught his hand and smiled at him to soften her words.
He looked like he was about to tell her, but a commotion at the doorway made them both look in that direction. It was Sean, speaking urgently to the woman who’d been checking people in. She pointed in their direction, and as soon as he saw them, he started beckoning to them.
They hurried over, Cash still holding Penny.
“What’s wrong?” Cash asked.
“It’s Pudge,” Sean said. “He’s in the hospital, and it’s not looking good.”