Thirty-one

SCHOOL ASSEMBLIES WERE usually OK. I mean, yeah, they're totally stupid. But we get to skip a class or two. Drug awareness, sex and safety, anger management: they're all the same. We all just veg out and watch the minutes crawl past. I swear the year before they even brought in this guy who was a world-famous whistler. They thought we'd be thrilled to hear his versions of TV commercial themes mixed in with birdcalls.

So I marched with all the other zombie kids into the aud, expecting nothing.

There was Frankengoon himself, up onstage. And around him were these big shiny posters. One said, "Don't Cloud Your Mind with Negative Thoughts." Another proclaimed, "Be Your Best Self Every Day."

Frankengoon fiddled with the mike. Of course, he made it feed back, wild screeches coming from the speakers. When he got the PA under control and all the classes were settled down, he started in.

"There's a lot of bad thinking going on these days. And it's about time we turn that around."

They had the cheerleaders lined up in front of the stage. And every time Frankengoon paused, they jumped up to pump up the crowd. It worked about as well as CPR on roadkill. We all sat there bored, annoyed, squirming as our assistant principal yelled about School Spirit and Positive Thinking.

I was about ready to scream. Relly was gone, maybe even dead. They'd grabbed him and whisked him away to some secret hiding place. And here I was listening to Frankengoon talk like a TV preacher. He was a monster, a vicious, horrible old man. And he was telling us to "Look on the bright side," and "Keep your eyes open for ways to help out."

Though there were hundreds of kids packed into the aud, it felt like he was looking straight at me. "We're going to put a stop to all this stinking thinking!" he declared. "It's time to rev up your positive energy and get motorvated."

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out his voice. I thought about rain, about fire and wind and deep black earth. Right then, at that very moment, Relly might be getting killed by Knacke's secret science. Maybe they had his head floating in a jar of green goo. And what was I doing? Sitting in school, listening to Frankengoon's fake optimist crot.

Way off, I felt water moving. Underground, there's supposed to be rivers. Huge streams that never see the light of day. I plunged my mind downward, into those dark, hidden places. I tried to escape the aud, the school, the so-called real world, and go down into the regions of underground water.

Frankengoon was complaining now about "bad influences." Did this mean our music? Maybe. He told us we should all "turn away from darkness to the light." I thought he was talking then right to me. Cheerleaders: good. Scorpio Bone: bad. School spirit: good. Ghost Metal: very bad.

I kept my mind pushing downward. I felt the water, the black lakes deep inside the earth.

Every lie he told, every bogus line about "being positive," made the feeling in me stronger. I couldn't shut him up. I couldn't escape or do a thing to save Relly. So I turned inside myself, following the black, writhing currents.

Behind me I heard muttering. Then somebody stood up. Kids were turning around in their seats. For a second I thought it was Relly, bursting down the door and surging in full flame toward the stage.

I opened my eyes and looked. No flames, no light, no Relly.

Still, kids were moving around, talking and trying to get their teachers' attention.

My fists were tight as padlocks. My stomach was turning and coiling. My brain was still in the underground places. Water, water, endless black water.

Then Frankengoon finally saw what was happening.

There was a stream running right down the aud's main aisle. A shiny snake of water was heading for the stage.

Teachers started getting up, trying to make their kids move away from the flood.

Now it came from the sides too, water pouring in from every doorway. Some kids were jumping up on their seats. Others were stamping their feet in the widening puddles. I heard a steady pouring noise and knew then that every sink in the school was running over. Every toilet was overflowing and even the showers down in the gym wing were running full blast.

Soon enough it was like a wet riot. Kids were splashing every which way. Teachers were yelling. The stream reached the front of the aud and Frankengoon started screaming into the mike. "Order! Order!" His voice boomed like a judge. "Exit in an orderly fashion!"

I got up and followed my row. It was amazing to see the little river running down the aisle. Black water with a mind of its own. I turned to look back just as I reached the exit. As the current ran around my feet, I felt strength running into me. As the crowd pushed past, I was steady as a rock in a rushing river. I looked toward the stage. Frankengoon was silent now, gripping the podium like it was a life raft from a sinking ship.

He saw me. He stared. He was so filled with hate he was almost glowing.

I turned and let the flood of bodies swirl me out of the aud. The fire department was already there. Guys in huge floppy boots were rushing around with hoses. The exit lights were all flashing. And the stream poured on, from every lav and shower and drinking fountain in the school.