She got Grace to stop at the convenience store after they left the hospital. There was something she needed before they arrived at the place Katie Spencer had run from. Astrid ignored the stares from red-faced blokes and women who looked half-awake, stepping into the store while Grace waited in the car. A soundless TV played on the wall, beaming out Bob Brady’s face. She thought of the party invite and considered buying something to take for him. She grabbed a packet of Twinkies as she searched for the main reason she was there, spotting them behind the counter. She paid with the last of her change before slipping everything into her jacket.
‘You didn’t get me a present?’
‘Why, Officer, we hardly know each other.’ They set off for the home. ‘Do you know this place?’
Crowley shook her head. ‘I’d guess it’s no better or worse than most of the care homes in town.’
They arrived just before ten o’clock. As Astrid got out of the car, groups of kids loitered around the building, appearing half-bored and suspicious of any adults. They narrowed their eyes and peered at Astrid and Grace as if they were alien invaders.
Astrid stared at them and tried not to remember what she was doing at their age. ‘Why aren’t they at school?’
Grace pursed her lips. ‘Too disruptive, I guess. Most of the schools in Angel Springs take a hard line with students who misbehave, and if the kids are sent home, they’re supposed to stay off the streets during school hours.’
Most of them continued their activities and ignored the adults. As Astrid strode up the stairs, she noticed the girl with the black-rimmed eyes wearing a t-shirt she recognised. They stared straight through each other, Astrid feeling as if she’d stepped back in time. She shook her mother’s voice from her head as invisible scars returned to irritate her.
The kid turned away as they went inside the building.
It was a cheerless place, even though someone had tried their best to brighten everything up, scattering random coloured posters over the walls. Dotted in between were displays showing the rules and regulations of the establishment.
- Do not steal.
- Do not lie.
- Do not swear.
- Do not fight.
- Do not back talk to adults.
- Do not enter other people’s bedrooms without permission.
- Always knock on the bathroom door before entering, wash hands after using, flush toilet, and put toilet seat down.
- Always pick up your toys or anything you were using and put them back.
- Do not eat in your bedroom or any other room other than the kitchen and dining room area without permission. Always put your dishes away.
- No cell phone or computers in the bedroom after bedtime.
Astrid read through them in her head, the echo of them returning her to the family home and her father’s words.
‘You’ll do as you’re told, child. Listen to me and follow the rules. If you don’t, you know what will happen.’
But even when she followed the rules, the inevitable still arrived. A new voice dragged her into the present.
‘Can I help?’
The receptionist was as perky as the walls, teeth glittering through a set of braces. Grace placed her badge on the desk.
‘Can we speak to the person in charge?’
The playful smile dissolved in an instant. The receptionist reached for a phone, pressed one number, and then whispered down the line. ‘Miss Conway will be out to see you soon, if you’d take a seat.’ She pointed over Grace’s shoulder.
Astrid followed the direction and sat down. Kids sauntered in and out of the building with barely a smile between them. There were times during her childhood, before running away for the last time, when she’d longed to live in a place like this; wished for anywhere but the family home. She wondered how much her life would have changed if someone had spotted the abuse she suffered. All it would have taken was a teacher, or nurse, or doctor, or any adult to recognise what was happening and to believe her, and the whole of her existence would have been different.
And what would have happened to those I’ve helped since then? I saved children and adults while working for the Agency. Would someone else have been there for them, or would they have suffered or died because I wasn’t there? Would my trauma have been transferred to others? My past informs my present, for better or worse.
Grace’s voice brought her out of the internal dialogue. ‘Do you believe Katie Spencer’s death is connected to Alex’s disappearance?’
It had been a constant question since the discovery of Katie’s body. ‘In towns like this, there’s always going to be links between missing kids.’
Grace nodded, but Astrid didn’t think she looked too convinced. In truth, there were no further leads for Alex beyond her ordeal at Bob Brady’s youth compound.
A young woman with permed hair and a glittering smile bounced towards them. ‘Hi there, I’m Bella Conway. What can I do for you today?’
Grace stood and shook her hand. ‘Do you have somewhere private to talk?’
Conway grimaced. ‘Oh no, we don’t do anything behind closed doors here; everything is out in the open.’
Adults and kids wandered around them, shooting cursory glances at the intruders in their midst.
Grace stepped in closer. ‘This is about Katie Spencer, Miss Conway.’
Conway’s shoulders slumped. ‘Ah, Katie; everyone here knows of her unfortunate accident.’ She glanced at her staff and the children. ‘We’ve encouraged people to speak up and not hide their feelings.’ She was a walking, talking advert for positivity, regardless of the situation. ‘We can’t allow negativity to invade our community.’
‘Did Katie have many friends here?’ Astrid said.
Conway beamed at them and answered the question by not answering it. ‘We never interfere in the private lives of our residents.’ She spoke as if talking about hotel guests. ‘The residential programme we provide is live-in out-of-home care placement. Our staff are trained to work with children and young people whose specific needs are best addressed in a highly structured environment. These placements are time-limited and offer a higher level of structure and supervision than those provided in the home. We offer guidance and organisation which they can’t often get anywhere else, even in school.’
She grinned like a maniacal cat. ‘And everyone gets along famously.’ It was like listening to the speaking clock. ‘We provide activities and events which contribute to cementing the links between residents and staff.’ Pride filled her eyes as she spoke. ‘Like most places, there is the odd teething problem, but I can confidently say we are the best-run facility of this kind in the area, and perhaps across the whole of the United States.’
‘So why did she run away?’ Grace said.
Astrid watched Conway’s hackles rise above her head. ‘Some children are beyond help, no matter what you try and do for them.’
Astrid peered at her, hearing the words, but they came from her mother’s mouth. ‘You’re saying Katie ran away because she was unhappy?’
Isn’t that why all kids run away?
Conway glanced at the ceiling, a slight tremble in her lips not interfering with her constant smile.
‘I guess she must have been, but I don’t know why. She never displayed any signs of unhappiness and, as far as I’m aware, never spoke to anyone here about any problems she might have had.’ She regained her composure. ‘Katie had her own room and possessions with everything she needed here.’
‘You reported her missing to the police?’
Conway stuck out her shoulders and chest. ‘No, we report any prolonged absences to social services first, and then they pass it on to the police.’ She glanced at Grace. ‘I’m sure Officer Crowley is aware of this.’
Astrid moved towards her. ‘Can we see where she stayed, look at her possessions?’ She wanted to examine the place the girl was supposedly happy in.
‘I’m sorry, no; not without official clearance. We have a duty of care to uphold for all our residents.’
Astrid brushed past Conway as Grace was about to speak.
‘It’s a shame you didn’t think about that when Katie was alive.’ She stormed out of the door with her hackles rising, scratching at her palm as a trickle of blood appeared on her skin.
Grace followed her outside. ‘Well, that was a waste of time.’
‘Perhaps, perhaps not.’ Astrid strode towards the kid with the dark eyes she’d noticed earlier; she guessed her age to be about fourteen.
The girl turned from her phone and glared at Astrid. ‘What?’ She chewed gum and blew a giant pink bubble at the adults. Then she sucked it back into her mouth and the air smelt of strawberries. Astrid extinguished the negativity she’d acquired from Conway and spoke to the teenager.
‘You call yourself Polly, even though it’s not your given name. All you think about is leaving here when you’re sixteen, but you don’t need to wait until then. You can start your new life anytime you want, and I’ll tell you how to do it.’
She reached into her jacket, finding what she’d bought from the store and throwing it at the startled girl. The kid caught it without blinking an eye, still chewing as if it was about to go out of fashion.
‘I don’t talk to cops.’
Astrid pointed to the building opposite. ‘We’re going there if you’d like to eat. I’ll buy you whatever you want.’ She stepped down and turned to the girl before she left. ‘And I’m the farthest thing from a copper you’re ever likely to meet. I hate them as much as you do.’
She crossed the road with Grace scampering in her wake. Astrid was inside the waffle house before her friend caught up with her. She smiled at the waitress and grabbed the menu as Grace scowled. They took the largest booth available. Grace grimaced as she twisted her hips.
‘You can’t give that kid a packet of cigarettes.’
‘Apparently, I can.’
‘I can arrest you for that.’
Astrid held out her wrists in supplication. ‘You can cuff me anytime, Officer Crowley.’
Grace scratched at her throat and coughed. ‘And what’s this about hating the police?’
The blood was drying on her palm as Astrid rubbed at it. ‘Well, there are one or two good ones, but most authority figures shouldn’t be trusted.’
‘And why are you encouraging her to run away from the care home?’
‘I’m doing nothing of the sort.’
She scanned the list of food and ignored Grace’s blazing eyes. She decided what she wanted and peered out the window, watching the kid isolate herself from the others. The girl examined the packet of cigarettes before gazing across the road.
‘I heard what you said to her, don’t deny it.’
Astrid smiled at Grace before turning her warmth towards the approaching server. ‘Can you give us a couple of minutes? We should have another joining us soon.’
The waitress shrugged and turned to serve someone else. The place smelt of toffee sauce and melted chocolate.
‘You think the kid will come here after what you promised her?’
Grace’s annoyance wasn’t going away. Astrid scrutinised the girl through the window.
‘How old is she, fifteen at the most?’
Grace crossed her arms and sulked. ‘Probably.’
‘I’d been living on the street for a year at that age, escaping from parents I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’d never got along with my sister, but what happened with our father, what he did to me and how he ended up in prison made it worse.’
‘Your sister didn’t believe you?’
The anger disappeared from Grace’s face. Astrid flicked a piece of dirt from her arm.
‘Courtney? She encouraged him to beat me. Sometimes she’d watch, making sure I saw her grinning at me.’
Grace’s eyes and mouth froze wide open. ‘My God, Astrid, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.’ She reached a hand across the table, but Astrid didn’t take it. ‘Did your mother know what was going on?’
Astrid picked up a salt cellar and poured some of its contents into her palm. ‘She knew and didn’t care, comfortably numb cradling a bottle of rum.’ She rubbed the grains between her fingers, the salt stinging the small cut in her skin, before dropping them onto the table. ‘So I sought refuge outside the family and found a collective that I thought was like me, but that was another mistake.’
‘What do you mean a collective like you?’
‘A London gang with high ideals of honour, but who were only criminals. They taught me a lot of valuable things, and I quickly became their cybercrime expert. I hacked into government websites, big business and international corporations, and discovered loopholes that allowed me to enter celebrities’ and politicians’ private files.
‘I thought I was doing something good for the world, righting wrongs and helping people; redistributing money and resources to those who needed it the most.’ She laughed at the absurdity of the teenage version of herself, believing she was a modern Robin Hood. ‘That was until I realised the gang were only using me for their criminal ventures. I was planning my second escape from those who controlled me when I ended up in prison at seventeen, and was then offered another way to live.’
Grace stayed silent, picking at the menu and avoiding her partner’s gaze.
Astrid didn’t suppress the memories; there were some good times with Ramon and his gang. But things changed when she left them behind and learnt how to control her life: only then, when she could help herself, was she able to help others.
But now, as a stranger in Angel Springs, could she find a missing teenager?