29
Josh
Especially after Spencer swooped in yet again with something over the top, and Brynn chose him.
But she appears at the top of the ladder, right on time, and as she steps onto the roof, the string lights reflect in her eyes, making them sparkle.
“Oh my god. It’s so beautiful.” Brynn spins in a slow circle, checking out my best attempt at a romantic gesture. I’ve cleaned up the beer bottles and hung a few of the extra lights from downstairs. In the twilight, they give the roof an almost ethereal feel.
“I can’t believe you did this.” As her arms fall to her sides, her expression changes. Her brows draw together as she visibly swallows. My stomach bottoms out completely as she averts her eyes and says, “I need to talk to you about something—”
I hold up my hand. “Before you tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, I have something I want to say first. Please.” I hold out my hand. An invitation to sit. Brynn walks tentatively over to the vent and perches on the edge, watching me the entire time.
I draw a deep breath.
“I can’t sing. My dancing is even worse. Really, what you’re looking at here”—I point to the lights—“is my capacity for grand gestures. I’m never going to be the kind of guy that always has some epically perfect monologue with all of the right words. I’m terrible at planning dates. I didn’t think observatories were something you could actually visit. I’m still not sure how they work. I’m the kind of guy who likes a pretty spot that’s quiet where you can easily talk.” I gesture to the view of the ocean. “I don’t pack picnics, but I’m usually pretty reliable with a cold beer. My point is…” I close my eyes and breathe for a moment before continuing. “I’m never going to be Spencer. And I am okay with that. He may be your dream guy. And I won’t blame you if at the end of this pick me, choose me, love me speech, you choose him, but I think you’d be making a huge mistake. Because even though he’s perfect at a lot of things, I don’t think he can love you better than I can, because I do, Brynn. I love you.”
I know as the words leave my mouth that they’re true. That although I’ve said them to other people before, I’ve never meant them in quite this way.
Her mouth falls open, but she doesn’t say a word.
“I don’t have a whole lot I can promise you at this moment,” I continue. “I can’t even promise you I can get us home, but I can say that you’re it for me. And I want to be it for you.”
I end it there, satisfied that I’ve left no doubts. Hoping it’s enough.
She stands, her face still unreadable. “For a guy who claims he can’t deliver an epic monologue, that was pretty perfect.” She takes a step toward me. “I’m so sorry, Josh.”
My stomach bottoms out completely.
“It’s okay, I get it.”
“No. No, that’s not what I’m saying.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was planning to do. I can’t imagine how you must feel after watching that whole scene this morning. I didn’t know it was going to happen. I wanted to talk to you first.” She moves until she’s right in front of me. Toe to toe. “I made a deal with Sheldon.”
My body goes completely still.
“When you wake up tomorrow, you’ll be back home. You’ll be able to bid on your dad’s bar and get your happily ever after.”
The elation only lasts for half a second.
“What about you?” As the question leaves my mouth, she looks up.
Her eyes have a sheen that she’s trying to get rid of by blinking. I know the answer even before she speaks.
“I am going to stay. I’ve agreed to give Sloan the ending she deserves.”
I feel like I’m falling. Like the ground I was standing on only seconds ago has suddenly shifted, knocking me straight on my ass.
“Okay…but this is just temporary, right? So, what? You stay, kiss him or whatever, and then you can come home?”
She shakes her head, and with every turn, something inside me twists tighter and tighter.
“Sloan’s happy ending is to be with Spencer forever, so…” Her voice breaks. “It’s the only way he’d agree to let you leave.”
I pick apart her words, trying to find some other way to interpret what she just said.
“I don’t care about that. I’m not leaving without you. We don’t split up. We stick together, remember?”
“I remember.” A single tear slips down her cheek. “And I knew you’d say that, because that’s the kind of guy you are, Josh. You’re sweet and caring, and you’re loyal, and you’ve done nothing but put me first since we got here, despite the fact that it was my wish and my actions that got us into this mess. But now I’m going to make it right. You need to have your bar. I know you care about it. It’s your dream. I’ve seen you at the Bronze, looking comfortable and so fudging happy, with that little glimmer of pride in your eye. But you deserve to have that with a place that is all yours.”
No. This isn’t the answer.
“We can talk to Sheldon. Negotiate.”
She shakes her head. “It’s too late. It’s done. I’ve made another wish. There was one of those stupid cakes. There’s no going back, even if I changed my mind. And I haven’t.”
I pause and look at her. And the truth sets in. “How long do I have?”
She closes her eyes. It causes more tears to fall. She reaches up and wipes them with the back of her hand. “Until midnight.”
That’s it? That’s only hours. There has to be another way.
“There’s nothing we can do?”
She shakes her head. Her arms reach for me, then stop in midair. As they drop back to her sides, she looks up at me, a strained line of worry between her eyebrows. “Can you forgive me for making the decision without you?”
Her voice wobbles on the last few words as her eyes cut left, breaking contact.
I draw her in, tucking the top of her head under my chin, wrapping my arms around her with the thought that maybe if I don’t let go, I won’t need to leave. “You’re already forgiven. But if we only have a few hours, I don’t want to waste another second.”