Part 20

Quila and Terise

‘No way!’ Marius, shouting. Behind the half-open door, Terise identified his voice without effort. ‘There is no way we can sit here and do nothing! You’re fucking mad if you think we’re gonna waste this!’

‘Not only think, but will.’ Ladyani’s tone was firm. ‘I’ve told you what we’re doing, all you have to do is go out and tell the others. Go out and spread the word, that’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?’

A scrape, a wooden crash. Marius again, closer. ‘What the fuck d’you mean by that?’

Terise dug her clenched fingers into her palm. Come on, we don’t want a fight now, not now. Back down, what does it matter, back down, back down.

‘What I say. I hear you’re a great conversationalist recently, I’ve heard a lot about what you’ve been saying. You can say what you like, gossip all day with the other old women for all I care. But not about this and not in this place. This is not a debate.’

‘You fucking arrogant bastard! You think…’

‘Oh God, Lad,’ Terise whispered. She knew the fight was coming now. She knew well enough what he thought.

‘You think you can shut me up?’ Marius yelled to Ladyani. ‘You think you can proclaim whatever fucking stupid thing you want and suddenly it’s law? You fucking arrogant bastard, what gives you the right?’

‘You think you can play your little games, canvas all your little supporters, go round the camp bad-mouthing me? What gives me the right? What gives you the right?’

‘Why shouldn’t I? I’ve a right to my opinion.’ Pugnacious as always. Terise could imagine him, squat and powerful on the middle of the floor, fists clenched, words with the cadence of a child’s taunt suddenly, incongruously in his mouth. ‘Who fucking died and made you king?’

Over a rustle of skirts, Issa answered.

‘That would be Mara, my sister. I’m sure you remember.’

There was a small silence.

‘You ask what gives me the right?’ Ladyani went on. ‘She does. She does and our destiny does. We are ViaVera, we are the true path, and we are on the true path. I can lead us to our destiny, I can see where we are going. I have the right. I also…,’ a shuffle, a snick as something clicked into place, ‘have a blaster pointing at your head. Any questions?’

In Terise’s mind’s eye, her wishful-thinking eye, Marius was abased, on his knees by now. He didn’t sound it.

‘Well, what gives you the right to come armed to council meetings springs to mind. So that’s your answer, is it? You tell us you know what you’re doing and we all just have to fall in line?’

Ladyani was almost laughing at him, joyous. ‘We have our destiny to fulfil, we have the Caduca to follow, we have…’

Marius shouted. ‘See, that’s it, that’s fucking it, right there. I am so fucking sick of all this fucking mysticism! Why does everything have to be so weird with you? Why is it all so damn…alien? We’re fighting a fucking war, this is not the work of the fucking Lord here. That Caduca shit might be good enough for the peasants but it’s not tactics, it’s not a fucking plan.’

‘That Caduca shit?’ Issa, unheard.

‘We start thinking that and we’re all dead. It didn’t used to be like this, man. You were always a fucking crazy bastard, but you used to talk to us. You know this invasion is the biggest thing to happen to Ty for a generation. You know that. You bloody well know that. How can you possibly think the right thing to do is for us to sit up here on our fucking asses in the forest and watch?

‘There’s gonna be resistance, there’s gonna be new groups, we need to be in on that. Recruits, money, ammo, even, think of the Chi!me weapons we could get! I don’t give a fuck about the Chi!me but we can’t ignore what’s gonna happen. If we do, there’s nothing left for us. I don’t know what the fuck you mean by the true road any more, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t it.’

Pushing her face into the corner of the door Terise could just make out the faces. Marius had his back to her, she could see only his thinning hair. Ladyani, she could tell was off to the left, because everyone was looking that way. Wolf, directly opposite, rocking his chair on its back legs; Sario next to him; Roberto at the corner where she could only see his profile. Variously bored, uncomfortable and resigned, as if they would rather be somewhere else, as if it were nothing to do with them. As if this were not the question the whole camp was debating, even her.

***

They’d known almost immediately that the Chi!me were coming, it was clear from the broadcasts from the first, whatever the announcers said. Everywhere she’d gone in the camp there had been somebody arguing about what they should do; she even saw Ihanakan a few times earnestly debating something with a crowd of Jeba. As if they knew, as if any of them could guess the Chi!me’s intentions. It was Issa who had dealt with them, Issa and presumably Ladyani, though he had never said. Out of all the camp it was only those two and Terise herself who had even spoken to one. Elenore had summed it up: ‘The Chi!me will come to kill us, the Chi!me will help us, the Chi!me will crown us with rubies and make us lords of the world; I’ve heard them all and I don’t know how to pick. They’re all just as unlikely as each other.’

***

‘We gotta get down there, join in.’

The voices debating, everywhere you turned. ‘Fight for the fucking government?’

‘Not for the government, fuckwit. Who wants to fight for them? I’m talking about fighting for us. I know what Ladyani says and he’s bloody wrong. If we want to get anything out of this, we’ve got to be in this.’

***

On the steps, in the doorways of the huts, leaning beneath the eaves out of the rain. Arguing.

***

‘I tell you, this is the best thing that could ever have happened to us. Never mind about that meeting shit, that’s all in the past. I’m talking alliance, I’m talking the Chi!me coming to us. We come out and help them, they’ll be falling over themselves to give us this province.’

***

‘The Chi!me might be coming for Airdrossa but where d’you think they’re gonna go afterwards? You think they’re gonna leave us here, you think they’re gonna welcome us? We gotta fight them, we gotta fight them with whatever and whoever we can, else they’ll be coming for us.’

***

‘We can’t get involved. If the Chi!me come for the government, what’s that to us? Let them kill each other, we’re alright here. Ladyani and la dona are right. It doesn’t mean anything to us.’

***

‘All I know,’ Elenore had said, ‘is that we aren’t people who’ve ever let others do our fighting for us. We’ve never waited before while our fate was decided far away by our lords and masters. If we had been, we wouldn’t be here; we none of us would have come to ViaVera, and we would never have done the things we’ve done. We don’t sit at home; we act, we change things. I don’t see any reason why we should stop doing that. And I think whatever the Chi!me think of us, they’re still coming here to conquer and rule. Hating the government doesn’t mean we have to love the worse bully that kills it, it just means we have two enemies to fight.’

There were lines under her eyes and streaks in her hair, and on her thin, brown wrist the veins stood out where she’d pushed back her sleeve.

‘So, will you go?’ Terise had asked her, wanting to plead and not daring to. ‘If Issa says not, I mean? Would you really leave?’

Elenore had carried on staring at her hands.

‘I’d like to say I would. I’d like to say I’d pick up my old rifle, leave the bread to burn and be out of here. I know I should. After all, if I’d stayed at home, I’d be cleaning up my father’s old hunter right about now, sending my mother up on the roof to look for sharp slates to throw. Why should I do less? That’s what they’re doing down there. Whatever we do or don’t do, whatever bloody Desailly says, they’ll fight. They won’t fight for him, but they’ll fight for themselves, just because when the soldiers march into your street and kick down your door that’s what you do.

‘And I would like to join them, I really would. Can’t you feel how good it would be to have something worth dying for again, go back to when everything was simple and just fight? We used to be so innocent, do you remember? So pure and righteous then, before everything. It’s tempting, so tempting. I could just go, I can feel it, so close I can almost touch it.’

‘Elenore…’

‘But you can’t stand forever with such a weight on your back, you can’t keep your eyes on the prize when all you do is bake bread in the dark.’ She’d smiled then, with no joy in it. ‘So no, don’t worry. I won’t be going anywhere.’

***

‘And you know all about it, of course. Everything there is to know about where we’re going and what we should do, and they’ll all follow you. Of course.’ This was Ladyani, richly sarcastic.

‘Not all. Some of them will, if I ask them to.’ It seemed to Terise that Marius didn’t want to go where his words were taking him. She clenched her fists harder. In a more moderate tone, he added, ‘I won’t ask them if I don’t have to. You know whatever we do we should do it together. I don’t want to split…’

Ladyani didn’t share his unwillingness. ‘Split! You should be so lucky! Who do you think you are? You think you’re the leader now, you think you’re the Caduca? You think anything you do can make a difference to us? You’re a fucking idiot. And I’m still holding the blaster. What makes you think you can even get out of this room?’

Terise heard a footstep, she couldn’t tell whether it was forward or back.

‘I don’t get you, man,’ Marius said. ‘You know I’m right, you have to. Alright, it’s a risk, I know it’s a risk, but you’re the fucking mad one. You don’t care, you’ve never cared how many of us get killed when it’s one of your schemes. You know the lads say you’re only still alive because you’re best friends with Death; you know that because you tell them the fucking story. You’ll take us all the way to Ultima for that fucking stupid meeting but you won’t take us to Airdrossa to fight. I don’t wanna fight you, I sure as Hell don’t wanna leave, I wanna stay and convince you we have to go together. What can I say?’ His voice became scornful. ‘And you can stop posturing with that blaster. You know you’re not gonna use it.’

‘No. Wrong.’ Terise put her hands over her ears against the blast. Over the din, through the smoke she heard the others shouting, then Marius again, wavering with shock. ‘You shot me! You fucking shot me! You fucking maniac, what d’you do that for?’ She couldn’t tell where he was hit. At least the volume of his shouts suggested it wasn’t serious.

There was a click as Ladyani put the blaster back in its holster. ‘I was tired of talking.’

‘That’s it. That’s it, I’m leaving. I’m fucking well out of here and I’m taking with me anyone who’ll come. Fuck you. We’re going to Airdrossa and we’re gonna to fight. Who’s with me? Robbo, Sario? Wolf, you coming?’

If there was a reply, Terise never heard it.

‘Alright then, never mind. Fuck the lot of you. There’ll be plenty of us without you.’

The room was still filled with smoke. Try as she might, Terise could barely see Marius. She thought he moved towards the door, then stopped again.

Anyone else wants to join us, they’ll be welcome. But you, brother, not you. If I see you again, I’ll kill you.’ The door opened, wreaths curling out to the grey sky. In the distance, someone was calling, feet were running towards them. Marius stepped through. He said something, but she couldn’t make it out. Nico and Jaiyro burst in.

‘What happened? Is everyone alright? We heard a blast! And Marius, his ear…’

They exclaimed to the room at large and it was Issa who answered.

‘Nothing’s happened,’ she said, in a voice so serene it could have been true. ‘Everything’s fine.’

***

Terise slipped out the back way as the council broke up so that she didn’t have to talk to them. People had left before, of course, people had disappeared or died or just slipped away, lost in a hundred different ways. But not Marius, Marius who had been there since before she arrived, who had been there when Mara died. Marius was a fixture, ageless as stone, and she was sure that Ladyani and Issa would be snide about him. As she closed the back door, she noticed Ihanakan, coming towards her on the path from the kitchen.

‘I hear you had an interessting meeting,’ he said.

‘You heard already? Yes, there’ve been better, you could say that.’

He stood against the wall of the palace, regarding her steadily.

‘I don’t know, Ihanakan. I don’t know how many will go with him. His friends, I suppose, Pedro and Darsin and those lads, Chebo maybe, but I don’t know how many others. It’s not as if we’ve been brimming with recruits, this could really weaken us. And what if they’re right and the Chi!me come for us next? What if half us of stomp off to get killed in Airdrossa and they come for the rest of us when we’re too weak to even fight them? I can’t say Marius was wrong, exactly, but this is the worst thing that could have happened, it really is.’ ‘You have ssaid thiss to Ladyani?’

‘No. I know what he’d say. “We don’t need them, it’s just throwing out the fish guts,” or something like that. He’d say that and I know he’d have a point, but…’ She sighed. ‘I can’t help feeling it’s just choosing the company you die in. And I know you’ll tell me that’s very important too.’

‘Of coursse.’

‘What about your people? What are you going to do?’

‘What we musst. We do not know yet what we will be assked to do, but we are ready.’

She smiled, a little sourly. ‘Nice to know that someone is. Have you come from Qui the Chi!me woman? How is she doing?’

‘She iss well. She iss much better. There iss pain, I think, but less and she can eat a little, now. I think in time she will be sstrong again.’

‘That’s good.’

He caught her eye and held it.

‘She misses you. She wisshess to talk to you.’

Terise looked away. ‘I don’t see why. You’ve been doing such a good job nursing her…’

‘Nursing iss not for the body only. She iss not a fool. She knows there iss ssomething she doess not know. She needss to know it.’

‘So I have to tell her, is that what you’re saying? I know you’re right, I know, but I just…’ She glanced back at him, shaking her head. ‘I can’t think how to do it. What would I say? I can’t just come out with it. And then what? I’ve almost killed her once already, I don’t want to do that again.’

Ihanakan’s look was not unsympathetic, but it was clear that he was not going to relent.

‘She needss to know and there iss no one elsse who can tell her. You musst.’

‘I know. I’m just railing against the inevitable, as always. I’ll go and see her.’

She grimaced, caught his eye, unforgiving.

‘Alright, alright,’ she said. ‘I promise.’