Chapter 10

Eli should have said no when Sam offered to top off his wineglass again, but the slight buzz he had going made it increasingly easier to sit across the table from Beth without wanting to both sprint the other way and lean across the short expanse between them and kiss her until they both forgot their own names.

“You’re still coming to dinner tonight, right?” Delaney had asked. It had become a standing thing on Friday nights. At first, it had felt like a pity thing… Let’s invite the poor widower for dinner since he’ll just hole up at home when everybody else is out. But now he understood that Delaney and Sam were simply good friends who enjoyed spending time with other good friends. He’d had to cancel the week before when he received an after-hours house call from a cat owner who didn’t know her cat was pregnant until it had given birth to a full litter…that afternoon. What confused Eli on this particular Friday was why Delaney had to double-check that he was coming, but now he knew.

“Bethy, did you know that any animal, whether two-legged, four-legged, warm- or cold-blooded, trusts Eli like he’s their mama hen?”

Beth had raised her brows, her eyes directly on his. “Is that so?” was all she said in response.

“And, Eli, did you know my sister was a backup dancer for a certain world-famous pop star who had a residency in Vegas?” Delaney dropped to a stage whisper. “She had to sign this really fancy nondisclosure agreement about the experience so I don’t think we can mention the name, but basically my sister is kind of a big deal.”

Sam Callahan cleared his throat and nudged Eli with his elbow. “You look like you’re getting low, Murphy. Let me fill you up.”

When Sam’s mother had taken Nolan upstairs for a bath and to tuck her in for the night, they’d moved the dinner party to the back porch, where a small outdoor couch was flanked by two chairs.

“Let our guests have the couch, Sam. It’s more comfortable.”

And Sam took his wife’s directive, offering Eli an apologetic smile.

This was a setup. Which meant Delaney either had no clue what had transpired between Eli and her sister, or she had every clue. Neither option did anything to tamp down his growing anxiety about the situation.

The second Beth sat down on the couch and he attempted to sit next to her, he sprang back up.

“You know, I should probably get going. I have a busy morning tomorrow.”

Delaney narrowed her eyes at him. “Tomorrow is Saturday. The clinic is closed on Saturdays.”

“House call!” he blurted. It could have been true. That was the reason he left Saturdays open. There was no way she knew he had no appointments as of yet.

But Beth knew. She made the appointments. He couldn’t bring himself to sneak a glance at her.

Delaney sighed. “Oh…okay then. But we’ll do it again next Friday, right?”

“Right,” Eli lied. “Of course.” That gave him a week to come up with an excuse to cancel. God, he hated being an asshole. He really did. But he hated even more being so close to Beth without the boundary of office decorum to keep him from thinking thoughts he shouldn’t think and wanting to kiss people he shouldn’t kiss.

Okay, person. He wanted to kiss one person. And he was starting to forget why he shouldn’t.

Sam stood to shake Eli’s hand, but when Eli took a step toward him, the deck began to sway.

“Whoa, buddy,” Sam said, clamping a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “How many glasses did you have tonight?”

Eli squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “She never let my glass go empty.”

He pointed an accusing finger at Delaney. When he opened his eyes to look at her, she smiled sheepishly back at him.

“Guilty.” Delaney shrugged. “A good host doesn’t wait for her guests’ glasses to go empty.”

Sam sighed. “Funny how I only got one glass. I’ll drive you back. Delaney and Beth can follow in your truck.”

“Actually…” Delaney stood, then swayed herself. “I think I’m a little too tipsy myself. But here’s an idea! Bethy doesn’t drink. Maybe she should drive them both home.”

Now Beth stood, her mouth hanging open. “Hello? Anyone notice the super-fashionable cast on my leg?”

Delaney waved her off. “You drive with your right leg, sweetie. It’s a very short drive. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Eli watched a whole conversation pass between the two women with nothing more than a series of looks. He might have been too inebriated to drive, but he could still tell that Beth was not happy about her sister’s apparent schemes. Neither was Eli.

“It’s still not entirely safe,” he interjected. “I mean, yeah, Beth’s right leg is fine, but in case of emergency, her left probably shouldn’t be impaired. I could just leave the truck here and somehow get it back tomorrow.”

Delaney crossed her arms. “What about your early house call?”

Eli’s jaw clenched. Busted. “Right. My house call.”

“I’m on call at the ranch early too,” Sam told him. “You’re welcome to spend the night on the couch.”

Beth groaned. “Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll drive us home. I don’t want to be stuck here. I mean, I appreciate your hospitality, guys, but I want to sleep in my own bed, and I’m sure Eli does too. It’s a five-minute ride. I’m sure we’ll be okay. And if we’re not, I’d like it printed on my headstone that my sister sent me to my peril all in the name of her misguided schemes.”

Eli bit back a grin. At least he and Beth were both on to Delaney and neither of them were having it.

She likes you. And I like her.

Tess’s voice sounded in his head as Eli waited by the driver’s side door while Beth said good night to her niece.

Eli normally would have silently argued with the voice, but tonight he felt…buzzed. And buzzed seemed to be changing the blueprint of the evening in more ways than one.

I like her too, he thought, wondering if the voice could hear.

Of course I can, silly. I’m not really me. I’m you.

Eli knew that. Of course he knew. But his projection of Tess was all he had left. The pain of losing her had receded to a dull ache that would always be there, but he knew now he could live with it. It was how it all happened he couldn’t seem to shake.

If you’re me, tell me I’m not allowed to be happy then. Tell me I should have been able to save you and Fury, but instead I lost you both. That’s not a guy who gets to be happy again.

He imagined Tess’s sigh. So serious, she’d say. So ready to take on the burden of the world and make everything your responsibility. When are you going to cut yourself some slack?

Maybe he should crawl into the passenger seat and pretend to fall asleep before Beth returned. No. That would be extra-shitty. Especially since she’d never driven his truck before. She’d need help adjusting the seat and the steering wheel and likely navigating back to his property if she was still getting the lay of the land.

Eli was lost in his head, trying to get Tess to talk him out of how he felt, when someone poked his shoulder.

“Hey,” Beth said as he spun to face her.

“Hey,” he replied. “You snuck up on me.”

“I didn’t sneak. This is the driver’s side door. Why are you here? I thought I was driving,” she added, then crossed her arms over her chest.

She was so unassuming in her purple zip-up hoodie, a tank underneath, and matching leggings. Yet the questioning look in her eyes seemed to ask so much more than Why are you here? Eli wished like hell he had the answer.

For several seconds, he simply stared. What was he doing? And why did he feel so out of his depth whenever she was near?

“Are you okay?” Beth continued, brows pulled together.

Eli cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he lied. “I just wasn’t sure if you needed help getting into the truck.” He held his hands up. “I know. I know. You’re perfectly capable. But I wasn’t going to be a total dick and plop my ass down in the passenger seat to let you fend for yourself if you did, on the off chance, need a hand.”

The corner of her mouth twitched, and Eli’s own lips parted into a smile.

“Wait. Is that a smile? Did I just make you smile? That means I did good, doesn’t it?” he asked.

Beth groaned and rolled her eyes.

“So…not good then?” he corrected.

“Come on.” Beth fisted her hands at her sides. “You have to know how maddening it is to have you be this charming and then to…to…”

“To run hot and cold on you like I’ve been because of how much I like you and how much it kinda freaks me out that I do?” He leaned back against the driver’s side door.

Beth’s eyes widened.

Eli laughed. He wanted to turn off this feeling of lightness that had to be a mix of the wine and the nearness of her. He wanted to run as fast and as far as he could from this like he had for her. But he couldn’t seem to put enough distance between them. She just kept catching up, and Eli couldn’t deny that he wanted her to.

“Guess your sister got enough wine in me to at least turn off my filter.” He’d probably regret letting the truth fly out like that in the morning, but right now, he wanted her to know.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

He raised a brow. “Charming or maddening, me saying what I said? Or maybe a little bit of both?”

“I…” Beth finally uttered. Then she fisted her hands at her sides. “I mean you…” She blew out a long breath, then held out her right hand. “Maybe you should give me the keys and see if I actually get us home safely before I go admitting how I feel about you saying what you said.”

Eli pulled his key fob from his pocket and dropped it into her outstretched palm.

“An admission, huh?” he teased. “Must be some big feelings.”

She scoffed and closed her fist around the offering.

He had no idea where this playfulness was coming from. It wasn’t him. From what he could remember, it had never been him. But with Beth—and a little too much wine—it was.

She nodded toward where he stood. “You’re kind of in my way.”

Right. The door.

Eli pushed himself off from the side of the vehicle, opened the door for his driver, then held out his hand.

Beth glanced from his hand to the running board and sighed. She tossed the key fob onto the driver’s seat and then grabbed his palm.

The second her skin met his, Eli had to fight the urge to pull her to him rather than hoist her into the truck. In the clinic, he had no problem being Dr. Murphy and only Dr. Murphy. But tonight? He didn’t want to be her boss or her landlord. He didn’t want to be the widower who couldn’t forgive himself for what he’d lost. And he didn’t want to pretend like he wasn’t feeling things he hadn’t felt in years. Eli just wanted to be, but he somehow couldn’t remember how.

“Um, Eli?” Beth glanced down at him from the driver’s seat. “I kind of need to close the door.”

Because again he was standing there, lost in his head, wanting what he didn’t think he deserved.

“Right. Sorry about that.” He pivoted away and rounded the back of the truck, swearing under his breath.

Once he was in the passenger seat, Beth pressed the ignition button and brought the truck to life. She grabbed the gear shift, and he grabbed her wrist.

“You do know how to drive, right?” he asked, realizing this tiny detail should have been established before they left Sam and Delaney’s backyard.

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. And my right foot is fine, so it shouldn’t be an issue, right? I just assumed it was kind of an unwritten rule that you didn’t drive when you were… Whatever. I’m perfectly capable of getting us home.”

She just hadn’t wanted to. She hadn’t wanted to be in this situation with him, period. He knew that. Yet despite Delaney’s less than subtle agenda for the evening, Eli was happy he was next to her now, even if it was only for a five-minute ride home.

He loosened his grip, but he wasn’t ready to let go.

“I know you are perfectly capable of doing this,” he told her. “I trust you. I’m pretty sure, cast or not, you could do any damn thing you wanted if you set your mind to it.”

Her cheeks flushed, and he let her go, not bothering to hide his grin.

They made it home without incident. Eli wasn’t sure why that disappointed him, but it might have had something to do with the five-minute ride feeling more like five seconds.

Beth turned off the ignition but made no move to exit the vehicle. Her hands still gripped the steering wheel, and she stared straight ahead as if a long road stretched out before her.

“It freaks me out too, you know,” she finally said…to the windshield.

Eli scratched the back of his neck. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that. What freaks you out? Spiders? A citywide blackout that might elicit a purge? Me saying how much I like you?”

Beth spun abruptly to face him. “That!” She pointed at him. “Well, all three, actually, but the last part scares me the most.”

He narrowed his eyes. “So just to be clear, how I feel about you freaks you out more than an impending purge?”

Beth laughed, but then her expression grew serious. She shook her head. “Do you know why I’m not half in the bag and speaking without a filter?”

Eli opened his mouth to respond, but she didn’t give him a chance.

“Because I don’t drink.” She threw up her hands. “I don’t drink. I don’t date. I don’t do anything…except dance. And it’s not because anyone forced me to give those things up, by the way. My mom wasn’t, like, one of those dance moms you see on TV. Every path I’ve traveled has always been my choice. I simply chose single-minded focus on dancing until I achieved my goal.” She pressed her lips together, waiting for his response.

“What about all that stuff you said about letting off a little steam? About knowing what to do when I had my dehydration situation?”

She shrugged. “Saw it in a movie, I think. The point is, this?” She motioned between them. “I’m as clueless about it as you seem to be. I’m not supposed to want anything other than getting back on my own two feet and rehabbing this stupid injury so I can audition again. Yet here I am, freaking out about how much I might like you with the added fear of knowing that you most likely aren’t ready to like someone like we…um…might like each other.” She winced.

He stared at her, every goddamn emotion warring in his head and his heart. All he wanted to do was silence the noise.

All he wanted was her.

He clicked open his seat belt, then hers, and leaned across the center console. She didn’t move, only stared back, chest rising and falling with each shaky breath.

He cupped her cheeks in his palms, her flesh molten against his.

“Unless you tell me not to, Tiny Dancer, I’m going to do something I’ve been wanting to do ever since the last time I did it.”

Her throat bobbed.

“I might be smaller than you, but I’m five foot five. That’s the minimum height for a Rockette, I’ll have you know. But…I’m mighty,” she whispered.

“The mightiest,” he whispered back.

She skimmed her teeth over her bottom lip, and it took everything in his crumbling will to keep from nipping at it himself.

“Tell me we shouldn’t,” he continued.

“We shouldn’t.”

“Tell me this won’t end well.”

She nodded. “I never wanted to be here in the first place. I’ll be running back to the Big Apple the first chance I get.”

Eli’s chest squeezed. Whatever happened between them, this part was inescapable. Beth Spence didn’t belong in Meadow Valley. She was all bright lights, big city, and equally big dreams. This would end badly simply because it would end. But none of that mattered when his lips were this close to hers.

“But you’re not running now,” he told her, softly brushing her cheeks with each thumb.

She closed her eyes and hummed a soft sigh.

“Couldn’t even if I wanted to. But…I don’t want to. Not now.”

Tell me to stop, he willed her to say as he dipped his head, his mouth dangerously close to hers. But she didn’t move.

His bottom lip brushed hers.

“Wait!” Beth slapped her palm against his chest.

Eli threw himself against the passenger door. Shit. He’d misread the signs. Or maybe there were no signs at all. How would he know? He hadn’t done this in years, hadn’t wanted to in just as long. And shit, he was tipsy. Maybe everything he’d been feeling had all been in his head and his head alone.

But she’d said she liked him, didn’t she? Hell, his inner monologue was apparently twelve years old.

He opened his mouth to apologize but stopped short when he realized she was smiling.

Eli pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, Beth! Did I fuck up or not?”

She gasped, hand flying to her chest. “Oh god. No! Sorry! I only wanted…I mean, before we kiss—and I do want you to kiss me—I need to lay out one condition of our agreement.”

“Our kissing agreement?” Eli was so confused.

Beth nodded. “You may kiss me and only kiss me since I’m not taking advantage of a man while he’s drunk.” She hesitated but then added, “I kind of already feel like I took advantage of you being slightly vulnerable after Trudy and Frederick and—”

“Wait…” Eli interrupted her. “If you are trying to up the sexiness of the moment by bringing up dead animals I wish I could have saved, let me run into the clinic and grab you a few more charts.”

Beth groaned. “Ugh. No. I didn’t mean it like that. But if it happens between us, like really happens, I want us both to be in a good place here…” She pressed a palm over his heart. “And here…” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead.

Well, shit. That was sweet as hell.

“And…” she continued, straightening so her eyes met his, “in the morning when you don’t have a house call, unless you somehow booked one after we closed the clinic this afternoon, you’re teaching me how to ride. With Midnight.”

She pressed her lips together and raised her chin.

A challenge and an ultimatum all wrapped up in one.

Eli needed that mare rehabbed and off his property, which meant the mare needed a rider. Midnight clearly didn’t trust him. That much he knew. But for some reason, she and Beth had forged a connection on their first day in town.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” he asked, resignation already seeping in.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

Eli sighed, but he didn’t get a chance to respond.

“Wait!” Beth pulled the brakes again.

He held his hands up, assuring her he wasn’t making any moves.

“I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for,” Beth began. “So if tonight’s too soon for this…” She motioned between them again. “Or I’m rushing you to put me on the horse tomorrow, I can wait. Not forever, but I’ll do it on your timetable. This is a big deal for you, and I should have been more sensitive to that from the beginning. But Midnight does need to be ridden again, and I want that rider to be me.”

Eli slowly lowered his hands.

“Beth?”

“Eli?”

“Are you done freaking me out every time I’m ready to kiss you?”

She pressed her lips together and nodded.

“Fine. Wait there a second.” And before she could respond, he opened his door and hopped out. On his way around the truck, he unlatched the tailgate and then strode up to her door, which was already hanging open.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

He held out a hand, but instead of helping her to the ground, he lifted her off the running board and hiked her legs over his hips.

Beth yelped and burst into a fit of laughter until he made his way back to the truck bed and deposited her on the edge. He pushed her knees open just enough so he could stand between them.

“Oh!” she said.

“Now we’re eye to eye,” he told her.

“And nose to nose.” She leaned her forehead against his, and the tips of their noses brushed.

“Lemme just show you the last part.” He tilted his head to the side and softly nipped her bottom lip just like he’d wanted to moments before. He hesitated then, savoring the familiar taste of vanilla and mint, this time sure it wasn’t morning tea.

“Lip balm,” she whispered, somehow reading his thoughts. “I hope it doesn’t bother you.”

He kissed her once, then licked his own lips with a grin.

“I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything sweeter.”

He kissed her again, hands moving up her back as she hooked her knees over his hips, squeezing him tight.

“You sure about that just kissing deal?” he asked, his lips traveling down her neck and to the soft skin exposed above her tank top.

“No?” Her knees squeezed him again. “But yes?”

He understood. She wanted him in the right headspace for this to go any further, and he wanted to be in the right headspace for her. He wanted to believe he deserved what she was willing to give. Until then, he’d give her whatever she was willing to receive.

“Should I only kiss you here?” he teased, lips brushing hers once more.

“Maybe,” she whispered. Then, “But maybe other places too.”

“How about here?” He unzipped her hoodie and kissed the hardened peak of her nipple beneath the fitted cotton.

“Mm-hmm,” she acquiesced.

Just kissing, he reminded himself, but there were so many places to kiss.

He moved to her right side, giving equal attention to her other breast.

Her back arched. Eli lowered her slowly so her head rested on the truck bed.

“Nothing below the belly button,” she told him. “Or I won’t be able to stop, and I want the next time I—I want to do it together.”

Eli nodded, hooked his fingers under the hem of her tank, and lifted it over her breasts. He growled when he found them bare, no bra separating him from her soft, pink flesh.

“Also small but mighty,” she teased, rising up on her elbows. “Means sometimes nothing more than a supportive tank is necessary to hold the girls in place.”

He laughed. “If you don’t mind, I’m having a moment with the girls.”

And bending the rules as much as she’d let him, he kissed and nipped and tasted until they were both dangerously close to a point of no return.

Beth lay breathless, hands white-knuckling the tailgate’s edge.

Eli throbbed against the prison of his jeans.

“We have to stop.” His words came out hoarse.

“I know,” she lamented. “Why do we have to be so mature about this when we could be having wild, crazy sex in a truck? Outside? Are we making a huge mistake by not just getting jiggy with it?”

Eli threw his head back and laughed.

Hell, this woman was funny. And beautiful. And headstrong. And smart. And, of course, mighty.

As much as he wanted to bury himself inside her right here in the bed of his truck, he’d hate himself for it in the morning, probably pull a selfish disappearing act again, and then Beth would hate him too. If they were going to go down whatever road this was, Eli was going to figure out how to do it right…or as right as he could given the past baggage they both brought to the table and the future they didn’t have.

He readjusted her tank, then pulled her so she was sitting again.

“I will be thinking about you all night, Mighty Dancer.”

She smiled, and her green eyes shone in the moonlight.

“You’d better be,” she teased.

She kissed him once more, then let him help her to the ground so they could both pivot and go their separate ways. But just as he was about to head toward the clinic, she grabbed his wrist. “Wait,” she said softly, for once not freaking him out that he’d done something terribly wrong.

So he waited, not daring to take another step toward the guesthouse for fear neither of them would be strong enough to stop themselves.

Eli watched her stride toward the front door, grateful for a reason to keep his eyes on her, if only for a few moments more. She’d barely stepped inside before she turned back to face him, his cattleman in her hand.

His stomach clenched at the reminder of why she had it, but then he remembered what she’d just told him.

“I can wait. Not forever, but I’ll do it on your timetable.”

Beth meant more than just her riding Midnight, and the realization made him dizzy.

When she stood before him again, she reached up and dropped the hat back on his head.

“There,” she told him. “There’s the Eli I’ve missed all week.” She kissed the tips of her fingers and then pressed them to his lips. And then she left him standing there, a smile tugging at his mouth as he unapologetically watched her walk away until the door closed behind her and she was safely inside.

Tess didn’t talk to him anymore that night. Instead, the entirety of his thoughts overflowed with images of a woman who lived just across the yard. If he ever fell asleep that night, he knew his dreams would be only of her.