Chapter 26

Beth had only received a forty-eight hour notice that she’d be going onstage, on Christmas Eve, no less.

“There’s no way you can make it, right?” she’d asked Delaney. “Tickets are probably so expensive. I’m sorry I didn’t know any sooner. I—”

“Bethy!” her sister had interrupted. “You’re a Rockette! On Christmas Eve! I don’t care if I have to sacrifice Nolan’s—or the yet-to-be-named baby number two’s—college tuition. We. Will. Be. There.”

And by we, Delaney had meant her and Sam. Her sister had already enlisted Sam’s mom to watch her niece.

Even her parents had gotten the front desk at their Vegas motel covered for the night. They were going to take the red-eye back to Vegas as soon as Beth’s performance was over.

“Did you tell Eli?” her sister added, never one to tiptoe around a sore subject.

Of course she’d told Eli. At least she’d told her texting app, and she saw that the message was delivered. Their communication had been good at first. At least once a week, they’d schedule a video chat to fit both of their time zones. It wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person, but it wasn’t the worst. Because it was Eli. Eli. The love of her life.

Except once summer ended and rehearsals began—six hours a day, six days a week, plus Beth’s continued physical therapy—their calls became fewer and farther between. She would go back to her tiny apartment that she shared with one other dancer and pass out only to wake up to a missed call from Eli. When she called him back, she often caught his voicemail more than the man himself.

Soon missed calls turned to sporadic texts, and then it happened. A week went by where they had no contact at all. And now that one week had turned into three. It hurt to think of Eli getting over her, but it had been six months, and she also wanted him to move on, to find happiness with someone who could actually be there for him the way he’d been there for her.

“I told him,” Beth finally replied. “I’m sure he’s too busy to come. But there will be three tickets at will call. Just in case.”

Beth was finishing touching up her makeup for her final number, “The Parade of the Wooden Soldier,” where she was dressed as, well, a toy soldier. Just as she finished filling in the red circle on her second cheek, the phone on her makeup table buzzed with a text.

Eli: Always knew you’d do it. Be the mightiest tonight.

The only time stamp on the message was from when she texted him to tell him about the show. So was the text new? Meaning he’d just responded to her text from almost two days ago? Or was the shitty reception backstage only now pushing through a message that came hours earlier? And why did it matter?

It mattered because if he got the message in time, the one offering him a free ticket to the show, would he have come? Had he been out there the whole time?

Her phone buzzed again.

Delaney: You. Are. AMAZING. Proud sis out here!

Hands shaking, she fired off a quick reply to her sister.

Beth: Did you just send this?

The telltale three dots appeared on the screen and, soon after, Delaney’s reply.

Delaney: YES! Wanted to give you a quick boost before your final number. Luv u!

Okay. That settled it. Eli’s text must have been immediate as well. That was the easiest and most logical conclusion. He was just wishing her luck and probably mixed up the time zones, not realizing the show was almost over instead of almost starting.

If he was here, he would have told her. Or Delaney would have. Because her sister knew better than to surprise her, especially in a high-stress situation. And Beth was pretty sure having not connected for almost a month meant she and Eli were past the point of surprising each other as well. At least Beth knew she’d be terrified to just show up on Eli’s doorstep as if he’d been counting the minutes until she returned. So what if she’d been counting the minutes until she got to see him again?

“You ready, Beth? It’s almost our cue.”

One of the other toy soldiers tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yeah!” she replied, making eye contact with the other dancer via her reflection in the mirror. “Be right there.”

Okay, then. Eli wasn’t here. He’d have texted sooner if he planned to come.

After the holiday season, Delaney offered her an open invitation to come back to Meadow Valley for as long as she wanted, especially with baby number two due in late spring, but Beth still hadn’t made up her mind. Being a Rockette was her dream, but it was only a three-months-a-year gig. She hadn’t quite figured out the other nine. She didn’t think she could be in the same town as Eli and not be with Eli. Not yet. But maybe once the baby came, they’d both be in a better place. Maybe they’d even be friends.

Beth swallowed the knot in her throat.

One more number on what should be the best night of her life. She needed to be in the moment. To not forget this as it might be the only time she took the stage this season.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself one more steadying breath before rising from her chair, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles in her costume, and heading to her spot in line.

Tears streamed down Beth’s cheeks as the curtain closed on the line of thirty-six toy soldiers sitting in their perfect, trainlike formation after having just fallen in slow motion when the toy cannon went off. The “Toy Soldier Dance,” as she called it when she was a kid, had always been her favorite, and tonight Beth was a toy soldier—a toy soldier Rockette no less—at Radio City Music Hall, on Christmas Eve.

Even in her wildest imaginings, she couldn’t have dreamed up this kind of happiness, of fulfillment, of pride. She said she would do it, and she did it, even when they told her she couldn’t.

Sure, there was a slight limp in her step once she got offstage, but there was only one week of shows left. Even if she took the stage again between now and then, she’d likely have time to recuperate and ice her ankle before and after.

For now, since Beth wasn’t in the finale and it was the holiday, she wanted nothing more than to be with family. So she scrambled out of her costume and into her purple hoodie, matching purple leggings, and her warm gray fuzzy boots. Then she snuck out the stage door and was immediately greeted by a huge group hug from her mom, dad, and visibly pregnant sister.

“Bethy!” Delaney squealed. “You did it! We’re so proud of you!”

“So proud!” her mom echoed through sniffles and tears.

Her father, the strong silent type who didn’t often wear his heart on his sleeve, simply swiped at the dampness under his eyes and kissed her on the forehead.

Sam swooped in for a hug after everyone else had their fill.

“Nice job out there, kiddo,” he told her, then shivered despite his puffy down jacket. “But I’m ready to get inside again if that’s okay with you.”

Beth laughed. “I am with you there. My Vegas blood isn’t warm enough to compensate for winters like this.” She zipped her own long puffy coat even higher. “Do you guys really have to go?” Beth asked, turning back to her parents.

Her mom stroked Beth’s overly lacquered hair that was held into a tight bun not only from an excessive amount of hair spray but also bobby pins that felt like they’d embedded themselves into her scalp. But Beth didn’t care. She was a Radio City Rockette on Christmas Eve.

“We wish we could stay. But a twenty-four-hour business is a twenty-four-hour business,” her mom replied. “I promise, though, that if we can plan ahead for the next one, we’ll make it a longer trip, and you take us to that place with the cheesecake you love.”

“Junior’s!” Beth exclaimed. The restaurant was a Times Square tourist trap, but Beth didn’t care. Not when they had a banana cheesecake that reminded her of the banana bread pancakes someone made for her once upon a time.

“Junior’s,” her dad replied. “It’s a date, Bethy.”

And then after another group hug, her parents piled into a taxi to head to the airport, leaving as quickly as they’d come.

“You okay?” Delaney asked once they were gone.

Beth had been running on adrenaline for the past two days as she prepared for her numbers. Now that she’d finally done it and done it well… Oh, who was she kidding? Beth kicked some major lifelong-dream ass tonight, and she wasn’t about to downplay it, even in her head. But the adrenaline was beginning to wane, which meant real life was creeping its way back in.

“Actually,” her sister continued before Beth had a chance to respond, “I’m beat. This whole being a mom while also being pregnant is a tougher gig than I thought. Catch you in the morning for brunch?”

“What?” Beth asked, incredulous. “You’re ditching me?”

Sam, the brother-in-law she counted on to be the levelheaded one in the relationship when Delaney got all flighty, shrugged and put his arm over his wife’s shoulders.

“Guess I have to get this one back to the hotel for bedtime. We’ll call you in the morning. You were great, Beth.”

“The best, Bethy!” Delaney added, and then they both pivoted in the other direction and strode off toward their hotel.

“What the hell just happened?” Beth asked, each word forming a small cloud of condensation as she spoke into the frigid air.

A throat cleared behind her, and Beth froze where she stood.

“I think they maybe wanted to give us some time to talk alone.”

Beth’s whole heart caught in her throat, every single emotion sweeping over her like a wave.

Fear… Was this closure? A final goodbye?

Joy… How good would it feel to see him in the flesh again, even if it was just this one last time?

Anger… How dare anyone surprise her when that either meant pepper-spraying both the surpriser and the surprise-ee, or Beth bent at ninety degrees over an outdoor trash can, tossing all her cookies?

Love… Everything Beth felt for Eli was still there. If she turned around and saw him, she might burst into a million pieces.

Heartbreak… Ditto her thoughts on love.

“You gonna look at me, Mighty Dancer?” he asked, breaking the audible silence. But did he know that inside Beth’s head and heart, it was absolute and utter chaos?

“Are you really there?” she asked, just to be sure. “Or is this my subconscious making me think I can actually have all the things I want at the same time.”

She threw a mittened hand over her mouth. Winter and exhaustion certainly did a number on her external filter.

When he didn’t respond, Beth feared he actually was a hallucination, so she spun on her heel and had to immediately take a step back so she didn’t knock right into him and the most gorgeous yet jumbled bouquet of flowers she’d ever seen.

“I realized I never asked you what your favorite flower was, so when I finally found a florist who was still open, I had him give me one of everything he had left.”

The man before her was an Eli Beth had never seen.

For starters, he had a beard. It was short and neatly trimmed, every color of warm, rich brown she could imagine with a few flecks of gray. And where she’d always imagine his Stetson or his gorgeous, perfectly overgrown hair, he wore a gray knit cap to counteract the New York chill. But those bright blue eyes…she’d recognize them anywhere, especially when they crinkled at the corners due to the smile Beth knew was meant only for her.

It was a nervous smile, for sure. But it was Beth’s nervous smile, and she couldn’t believe it was here. That he was here.

“All of them,” she finally uttered, voice shaking. “All the flowers you brought are my favorite.”

“I like your…uh…” He pointed at her face, and Beth realized she hadn’t bothered to wash off her makeup.

“Oh my god!” she gasped. “I’m still a toy soldier!”

Eli’s face grew serious. “Beth, you were unbelievable tonight. I knew you’d be good, but I didn’t know what it would be like to see you do what you were born to do. I can’t believe I almost didn’t…”

He trailed off, but Beth didn’t need him to finish. He wasn’t going to come.

“This wasn’t a surprise, was it?” she asked. “Delaney didn’t know you’d be here because you weren’t planning on being here.” The reality felt like a punch to the gut…him showing up at the last minute, the ridiculous bouquet of flowers. It was a goodbye and apology wrapped all in one. And could Beth blame him? She’d been all but unreachable for the past month.

He shook his head. “And I got here so late that they’d given away my ticket. So I had to sit a little farther back. Delaney and Sam didn’t even know I was here.”

Beth nodded. The cold was starting to seep into her bones. She needed to remind herself that this was her best night, and nothing was going to erase that. Except…

This was almost her best night. The only thing missing was sharing it with her favorite human. Her person. Her Eli.

“I miss you,” they both said at the same time.

“What?” Beth asked. “You’re not here to”—she swallowed—“end this for good?”

“What?” Eli echoed. “No. Is that what you want?”

Beth’s eyes widened. She hugged her big puffy coat against her chest because despite being a dancer who had full control of her body onstage, this was one of those times when she had no idea what to do with her arms again.

“No!” she cried. “But you just said you weren’t going to come. And clearly those are Sorry-I’m-dumping-you-after-you-just-had-your-stage-debut flowers. I can’t think of any other explanation.”

Eli let out a nervous laugh. “I was supposed to neuter Trudy Davis’s new beagle this morning, which meant I never would have made it on time. But Trudy had to reschedule for next week, so I canceled the rest of my less pressing appointments and hopped on the first plane out here. I didn’t want to tell you I couldn’t come until the very last minute. But by the time it was the last minute, I realized it could have been a courtesy invite and that you might be better off without me here, so I wished you luck.” He groaned. “This all played out a lot better in my head, but I can see now how it might have looked from your perspective.”

“Put the flowers down,” she said softly.

“What?”

“Eli, put the flowers down.” The words came out as more of a command this time.

He glanced from left to right, then over his shoulder. But there was only the sidewalk and, a half block away, a fire hydrant.

“Put them on the ground, please. I promise they’ll be okay. I just really need you to not have anything in your hands right now, okay?”

His eyes widened, and recognition—along with her Eli smile—bloomed on his beautiful, bearded face.

He dropped the bouquet on the ground and barely had time to open his arms before she launched herself into them.

He hoisted her onto his hips, and she hooked her ankles tight. And then she kissed him and kissed him and kissed him until his beard rubbed her chin raw, until he finally lowered her to the ground, though he didn’t let go of her for even a second.

“You have a beard!” she whispered through tear-soaked laughter. She tore off one of her mittens with her teeth so she could run her fingers over the coarse hair that made him look wholly new but also still exactly like the man she loved. “And Trudy got a new beagle?”

Eli nodded. “He’s actually a beagle–dachshund mix. She named him Noodle.” He laughed, then rubbed a thumb across her chafed chin. “As for the beard, maybe it wasn’t the best idea.”

“I love it!” she exclaimed, then decided that wasn’t convincing enough. “I love you, Eli. I know this has been hard, but I want to make it work. If you do, I mean.”

He stared at her, eyes clear and blue and sure. “I love you, Mighty Dancer. And I’ll endure New York winters for as long as I have to if it means we’re in this for the long haul.”

Her breath caught in her throat.

“What is it?” he asked.

She shook her head, but then she decided to tell him anyway.

“Back when I first got to Meadow Valley, and you were adamant about me not riding Midnight…”

Eli’s jaw tightened, and he nodded, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Delaney said something to me that has always been in the back of my mind. She said that everything gets easier with time but that some things stick with us for the long haul. I knew she was partially talking about my injury and what it might mean for my career. But I also knew she meant you.” Her throat tightened. “The years before we met were so different for each of us, and I get that for better or worse some part of your loss will always be with you. And that’s okay. I guess I just feel lucky that you have enough room in your heart to love me too, and maybe I didn’t realize it until tonight, but I really needed to hear that you and me? Us? That we’re your long haul too.”

Eli kissed every one of her tears as they fell, and when she looked up at him, she saw that his lashes were wet too.

“Thank you,” he told her softly.

“For what?” she asked.

“For loving all of me, even the messy parts.” He dipped his head so his breath tickled her ear. “And not that it’s a competition,” he whispered, “but I love you, Beth. I love you. For the long haul and infinite days after that. I love you.” He kissed her. “I love you.” He kissed her. “I love you.” And for good measure, he kissed her again. “Pretty sure I won that round.”

“We both won,” she told him, and she felt his lips part into a smile against hers.

“Then I guess we’ll call it a tie.”

That night, they lay in Eli’s hotel bed, her naked body aligned perfectly against his. Her head rested on his chest as he traced lazy circles with his index finger on her back.

“I was thinking,” she began, eyes growing heavy with sleep. Or maybe it was just that this whole night felt like a dream. “That I might like to learn more about rehabbing horses. I mean, I need to earn a living on the off months, right? So I was wondering if you might know of any ranches in your area that need horse trainers.” She kissed his chest. “Of course, this ranch would need to train me how to train the horses, but I’m a quick learner.”

She heard his sharp intake of breath, then felt it as his lungs expanded beneath her.

Beth tilted her head up to catch his gaze.

“Are you serious?” he asked. “You want to come home?”

The way he said that last word—as if he’d been waiting for her to ask that exact question for six months—made her realize that this, right now, was her best night. Her best moment. The happiest she had ever been.

“Yes.” She climbed over him, pressing both her palms to his bearded cheeks. “I want to come home.”