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Two days later, Colonel Hardwick arranged seats for Liam and Aidan on a military transport returning to Tunis. That way they could avoid issues of passports, and why there was no exit stamp that showed them leaving Tunisia. Liam had turned Charles Carlucci’s passport over to the SEALs, to be returned to his next of kin, the bank account information carefully excised. He’d even spoken to the woman who held Aidan’s and Carlucci’s belongings in Tunis and arranged for her to deliver Carlucci’s luggage to the US embassy.
The morning of the flight, Aidan woke up in his hospital bed and looked over at Liam, asleep in the bed next to his. Liam was still sick, prone to coughing fits, though his fever was gone. He was weak, and it would be six weeks before he had run through the course of Cipro. Even then, he might need additional medication; he’d had a lot of exposure to the anthrax.
He and Aidan hadn’t talked much; hospitals weren’t great places for private conversations. They held hands now and then, thanks to the nurse who’d moved their beds close enough. Aidan had sat on Liam’s bed next to him, and in the chair next to the bed. But they hadn’t talked about the future, only the past.
What did that mean, Aidan wondered, as he stared at Liam’s sleeping form. He resembled one of those warrior angels in Renaissance paintings, strong yet pure. Aidan couldn’t look at him without feeling his heart flood with emotion.
They’d both admitted to love—but had they been telling the truth? Was it love between them, or just lust? Had the passion of the situation overwhelmed them? If he had a reason to stick around Tunis, maybe a real relationship could develop. But he couldn’t imagine Liam on a date. His don’t ask, don’t tell experience in the military seemed to have scarred him, made him unable to express himself, and probably unable to commit to someone in the way Aidan wanted.
And he did want that, he recognized. He had been happy with Blake, and not just because Blake’s money allowed him a comfortable life. He liked being in a relationship, having someone to come home to, someone to look after. He didn’t see a strong, competent soldier of fortune like Liam McCullough ever able to settle down in that way.
What would happen when they returned to Tunis? Liam had invited Aidan to stay at his little house as long as he wanted. The invitation had been carefully couched, though. It wasn’t a “come move in with me;” more like a “you can crash at my place if you want.” Not exactly the commitment that Aidan longed for.
He considered his options. He didn’t have a job in Tunis, and his only contact was Madame Habiba Abboud. Had enough time passed that she could apply for a teaching permit for him again? It seemed so long since he had been in her office, like another lifetime.
If he wanted, he could go back to Philadelphia, sleep on his friend Coral’s couch for a few days, and find himself an apartment and some adjunct work teaching. Liam had promised him enough money from Charles Carlucci’s foundation to get him settled again.
But was that what he wanted? That life seemed awfully boring after a couple of weeks of being pursued through the desert by Libyan intelligence agents, riding camels, hiding inside a burqa and being evacuated by a military helicopter from the middle of nowhere.
Realistically, though, what else could he do? He had friends scattered around the US, and he could always decide to try out San Francisco, Chicago or Miami. If Carlucci’s foundation came up with enough money, he could even go back to school, get a degree in something else. He’d always been good with computers, had built a couple of web pages and played around with various kinds of software.
Maybe he could write a book. He’d been thinking about writing an ESL text for a few years, unhappy with the materials that were available. Or maybe a novel about two gay guys chasing through the desert and falling in love.
No, no one would believe that one.
Liam woke and yawned. “Morning,” he said, turning to look at Aidan.
“Morning. We’ve got about two hours before we get the plane.”
Liam was still weak, so Aidan helped him shower, Liam propped against the wall. He soaped Liam’s body carefully, paying attention to every muscle, and the bodyguard’s dick swelled to Aidan’s ministrations. His hand slippery with soap, Aidan grabbed it and began stroking it. “Oh,” Liam groaned.
“You’re not going to pass out on me, are you?” Aidan asked. “I don’t think I could explain that to the nurse.”
“I’ll try to hold on,” Liam said. He was having trouble catching his breath, a combination of the sex and the infection in his lungs, and Aidan sped up his hand, using his other to penetrate Liam’s ass with a single soapy finger. The big bodyguard’s body writhed and he whimpered as he shot a load in Aidan’s hand.
“I want to,” he panted. “Take care of you.”
Aidan shook his head. “I’m doing the caretaking here,” he said. “You need to get your strength back.”
Aidan rinsed Liam’s body, once again marveling at how the water cascaded off the bodyguard’s tall, muscular body. He remembered that first glimpse he’d gotten of Liam, showering behind the Bar Mamounia. He couldn’t even imagine how long ago that had been.
He left Liam leaning against the wall of the shower stall as he hurried through his own cleaning. He was hard, but tried to ignore the pressure of his dick, swiping the soap past it quickly. “No,” Liam said, reaching out to grab his hand. “More.”
Aidan’s eyes grinned mischievously. “You want a show?” he asked.
“I want you to do what I can’t.”
“You can do this,” Aidan said. He raised Liam’s right hand and took his index finger into his mouth. He sucked on it, tasting the polished surface of his nail, the roughness of his skin.
He soaped up his own hand and began stroking himself. Liam groaned next to him. “You are so sexy,” he said, moving his finger around inside Aidan’s mouth. Aidan sucked it, closing his eyes and trying to imagine it was Liam’s dick. Nope, that didn’t work. Liam’s dick was so much thicker, and it pulsed with blood and lust when Aidan had it in his mouth. But the finger was all he was going to get, so he sucked it.
It was the closest they’d come to making love since that night on the desert dune, when Liam had fucked Aidan’s ass bareback. Aidan felt all that closeness flooding back, his body swelling with passion, his dick pulsing under his hand. He longed to grab Liam, pull him close, rub his dick up and down on Liam’s smooth skin, but he knew he couldn’t.
He pulled one last time on his dick, whimpered, and then let his body sag. Liam pulled his finger from Aidan’s mouth and rubbed his grizzled cheek against Aidan’s. Aidan was so tempted then, to say, “I love you,” but he held back.
Out of the shower, Aidan dried them both off, then shaved, and helped Liam do the same. As Aidan combed Liam’s sun-kissed hair, grown shaggy during their time in the desert, Liam said, “I could get used to this kind of pampering.”
He kicked the bathroom door shut, wrapped his arm around Aidan, and pulled him close. Aidan felt himself melting into the bigger man’s arms, pressing his cheek against Liam’s. “I want to kiss you so much,” Liam said. “But I don’t want you to catch this shit.” He turned his head aside and coughed.
“Shh,” Aidan said, rubbing his back. “Feeling you next to me like this is enough for me.” He felt Liam’s chest rise and fall against his own, inhaling that scent that was so Liam, like sand and sunshine, even after being cooped up inside for so long.
Liam faltered, and Aidan pulled back. He opened the bathroom door and led Liam to the bed, where Liam sat as Aidan threw the last few items into their bags. A soldier arrived a few minutes later to drive them to the airfield. Aidan could tell that Liam hated being helped to stand or walk in front of someone else.
“Look at us,” Liam said, as they hobbled together across the tarmac. “Like a pair of old men.”
“Speak for yourself,” Aidan said, but then he stumbled, and they both laughed. They managed to climb the stairway to the plane, then collapsed into adjacent seats. The rest of the plane filled up quickly, with soldiers and a couple of men in plain clothes Aidan supposed were either diplomats or spies. As he buckled his seat belt, he stole a glance at Liam. Savor the moment, he thought. This whole fantasy adventure might be about to end, but he could enjoy every minute of it. The memories would sustain him through the long winter ahead.
***
ONCE THE FLIGHT BACK to Tunis had taken off, Liam looked over at Aidan. He’d always thought he couldn’t fall in love, because of his military career, because he wasn’t attracted to the only men he could tell were gay, because who could love someone who was too afraid to face himself and his desires?
But maybe that was all wrong, and this was why he’d never let himself fall in love before. Because it hurt too much as it was ending. They’d get back to Tunis, and within a day or two Aidan would be on another plane, this one back to Philadelphia. And Liam would still be in Tunis, alone. He’d suffered a terrible depression when he’d left the SEALs, without the camaraderie of men who’d become like his brothers. He’d clawed his way out of that, pretending that he liked being on his own, that everything he’d lost didn’t matter. Could he keep on doing that?
He wasn’t a wimp. He’d gone through Hell Week at BUD/S, he’d excelled at every SEAL mission, and he’d survived fatigue, dehydration, bullet wounds, and now infection with anthrax. He’d get through this. On his own. He forced himself to look at Aidan and smile. “You got your adventure,” he said. “Didn’t you?”
“I guess I did. Though it wasn’t exactly the one I was thinking of when I left Philadelphia.”
“You’ll be going back there, now?”
Aidan looked over at him. “Not sure.”
“What do you mean? You have some other city in mind?”
Aidan shrugged. “I’ve got to get on the computer, see what kind of offers I can drum up.” He paused. “It might take me a while.”
Liam felt something surge in his heart. Maybe Aidan wouldn’t have to leave so soon. “Like I told you, you’re welcome to stick around Tunis, bunk with me for a while, if you’d like.”
“I’m not showering out there in the courtyard, where everybody in the bar can see,” Aidan said.
Liam laughed. “Come on, Aidan. You’ve got a great body. Why not show it off?”
Aidan leaned close to Liam and whispered, “This body is for your eyes only.”
A smile twitched at the corners of Liam’s mouth. “It’s going to take me a few more days to get my strength back,” he said. “But then...”
“But then we’ll see,” Aidan said, and squeezed his hand.
