Liam still trained every day to keep up his size and strength, but he didn’t mention fighting again. He seemed to really retire, and there was no resentment directed my way. It’d only been a week, so maybe that would change.
After my last conversation with Damien, I’d constantly felt sick. It was so painful to hear him tell me he loved me…and not be able to reciprocate with everything that I had. It was hard to believe we’d been apart for so long when these feelings were so rampant.
Why didn’t he love me when I could still love him?
Why did Liam have to betray me in the first place?
Why did I marry Liam when I should have just waited?
So many fucking mistakes…all over the place.
Liam asked me if something was wrong a few times, but I lied and said I was under the weather. I considered telling him the truth, but that didn’t seem necessary when I chose him in the end.
Now that Damien had told me he loved me, I wasn’t sure how we could be in the same room together. It was already difficult enough, but now with this…it was a nightmare. I didn’t ever want to be a cheater, so I would never consider an adulterous affair, but being around him was still hard…when I loved him in the way I should love my husband.
Liam sat across from me at dinner. “How was work?”
Sofia didn’t question me about Damien after I’d told her what happened. I’d picked Liam, so there was nothing else to say anyway. But the environment was still tense, because I feared Damien would show up for lunch with Hades…and I’d have to look into his beautiful eyes and see the way he loved me. “Fine. How was your workout?”
He stabbed his fork into his food and took a few bites. “Brutal, like always.”
I kept my eyes on my plate.
Liam continued to watch me. “I gave up fighting, but it still seems like you aren’t happy.” His tone dropped with his melancholy.
I closed my eyes when I felt responsible for his sadness. “It’s not you, Liam.”
“Then what is it?”
“I just…” I didn’t want to say the truth and start a war. “Just stuff at work… I don’t want to talk about it.” I lied to my husband and felt like shit for it.
“You don’t have to work. It doesn’t matter that I’m not in the ring anymore. We can afford it.”
“I know, but I like working.”
“You like working more than staying home with me all day?” he asked, taking a pause to chew. “I know you said you aren’t ready to start a family, but we could still practice.”
A smile broke through on my lips. “As nice as that sounds, I need more purpose in life.”
His eyes suddenly fell, as if those words meant something to him. “Yeah…I know what you mean.”
Sofia came into my office at the end of the day, her long coat stretching over her stomach and stressing the closed buttons. “We’re going to dinner. Would you like to come?”
I looked up from my desk and stared at her. “Who’s we?”
“My husband and I…and Damien.”
I didn’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over, spending time with Damien and suffering through the heat between us. Now that I knew how he felt, he dangled our possibilities in front of me, whether it was intentional or not. “I already have plans…but thank you.”
Sofia shouldered her purse and lingered. “Your plan is to never see Damien again?”
“No…I just don’t think I should be in those situations anymore.”
She gave me a disappointed look.
“The wound is still fresh, you know?”
She nodded in agreement, but her eyes showed a different story. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight.” I watched her walk out before I returned to my work. I could go home whenever I wanted, but I kept finding things to do because I wasn’t anxious to head back to my place. Damien was constantly on my mind, and it was impossible not to think of him around Liam. A part of me wished that Damien had never told me, that he wasn’t so arrogant to assume I would leave my husband for him at the drop of a hat.
Nearly thirty minutes later, someone stepped into my office. Their footfalls announced their presence.
I looked up to see those deep green eyes looking into mine. I dropped the pen I was holding and inhaled a deep breath the second I felt his presence. It was like a disease infecting my cells. It entered my body, and the symptoms showed just seconds later.
A pizza box was in his hand, and he set it on my desk. “I thought you’d appreciate the leftovers.” He was in his suit and tie, as if he’d left the office and headed straight to dinner with Hades.
I didn’t open the box out of defiance. The enormous desk was between us, and I was glad such a solid piece of furniture formed some kind of boundary. As long as I stayed in my chair, he couldn’t get to me.
He slid his hands into his pockets and continued to stand there.
My stomach betrayed me and growled loudly.
A subtle smile moved over his lips.
I still refused to take a slice. “In case it wasn’t clear, I didn’t join you guys for dinner because—”
“You’re avoiding me. I know.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and rubbed his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. His chin tilted to the floor, and he sighed before he lowered himself into the white armchair facing my desk. “But I don’t want you to avoid me.”
“I have to…”
His green eyes studied mine, so intense that this desk didn’t seem thick enough to keep me safe. “I would never put you in a compromising situation, Annabella. You’ve made your stance on adultery clear.”
I felt more at ease, but not much. “You should feel the same way about adultery too.”
He rubbed his hands together. “I’ve been with married women before, so I don’t share your morality. But I respect you for it.”
I shouldn’t expect anything less. He was a drug lord and a notorious criminal. Why would he respect something like marriage, especially when a woman was throwing herself at him?
He continued to stare at me. “I don’t want it to be this way…”
“I have no other choice.”
“Nothing has changed, so why does it—”
“Exactly,” I said with a sigh. “Nothing has changed, so it needs to change. I can’t be around you without wanting you. I can’t look into your damn eyes without wishing you were mine. I haven’t been physically intimate with you, but I’ve been with you emotionally every single day… It has to stop.” My hands covered my face for a moment, and I breathed through the emotion before I dragged my fingertips to my lips. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I looked at him again.
His expression didn’t change.
“How am I supposed to make this marriage work if I’m still hung up on some other guy?”
“Exactly.”
I shook my head slightly. “We aren’t having this conversation again…”
“But it’s a valid point. Why force a marriage that’s not working?”
“Who said it’s not working?”
“Liam,” he snapped. “The guy was going to go behind your back and jump back into the ring. He’s had one foot in and one foot out—just the way you have. Neither one of you has been one hundred percent committed. So, call it quits and move on.”
“He is one hundred percent committed. He wouldn’t have retired if that weren’t the case. He made a huge sacrifice…and I need to do the same.”
His expression showed how much he disagreed with that. “If you tell him the situation, he might bow out.”
He couldn’t be more wrong. “You don’t know Liam the way I do. If I told him what happened, he would hold me tighter. He would move us to France or England so we could start over away from you. And honestly, that’s not the worst idea.”
His eyes narrowed in pain. “He’s not worth it, Annabella.”
“I don’t want to keep talking about this, Damien. I picked him—end of story.”
He inhaled a deep breath. “But you picked the wrong man.”
“You should go…”
He didn’t move. “What are you afraid of, Annabella? You think, if you choose me, I’ll just hurt you?”
I never allowed myself to think that far.
“I can’t promise you marriage and kids, but I can promise you that I’m committed to us, that I want to be with you in any capacity. Don’t pick him just because he’s the easy choice. You’re better than that.”
“That’s not why,” I whispered. “You don’t understand what marriage is. If you sleep with married women, then you obviously have no respect for the institution. It’s a promise, a lifelong commitment, and I already made it. This isn’t some random guy. This is a man I was already married to, whom I have a history with, and despite what he did, I still respect him and love him. I can’t do that to him… I just can’t. You need to respect my decision. I know you’re used to getting whatever you want, but not this time.”
He released a sigh so big, his nostrils flared. He massaged his knuckles and bowed his head, processing the rage that coursed through his veins. “I would respect your decision…if we weren’t so fucking in love with each other.” He raised his head again and looked at me with fury in his eyes. “That’s the problem, Annabella. You love me in a way you don’t love him anymore. And I love you in a way I’ve never loved anyone before. Why don’t you understand that?”
My eyes started to water. “I do understand that…more than you know.”
His eyes filled with sadness.
“You really should go. Nothing will change my mind.”
He didn’t rise from his seat. “I want to tell you something.”
“Damien—”
“Listen.”
I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced at my phone, relieved that Liam hadn’t texted or called.
“Remember the night I told you Hades and Sofia were soul mates?”
“Yes…on the balcony.” As if I could ever forget.
“You asked me how I knew that…so I’m going to tell you. This story is ludicrous and unbelievable. Anyone else would think I’m batshit crazy, that I made up this story just for attention. But I know you’ll believe me.”
Now that he had my full attention, I listened.
“Hades and I went to Marrakech for his twenty-first birthday. We met a gypsy there who read our fortunes. The woman said Hades would only love one woman all his life…but she would never love him back. It was punishment for the crimes he committed…for killing his father. We both thought it was horseshit. But every prophecy she made came true, and when Hades met Sofia and fell in love with her on the spot, he knew it was real.”
“If that’s the case, how does she love him now?”
“Because he had to break the curse…which he did.”
This did sound like a fable, a story parents told their children at bedtime.
“It took him a long time. He suffered a lot to make it happen. But he did it because…the gypsy said she was his soul mate.”
It was one hell of a story, and I was paralyzed by the tale.
“Do you believe me?”
Normally, I wouldn’t. But if two powerful men like Damien and Hades believed it, it was compelling. Drug lords and criminal bankers didn’t believe in bullshit like that…unless they lived it. “What does it matter if I believe you or not?”
“Because the gypsy read my fortune too…and I want to share it with you.”
Now my heart sank as a shadow of fear crept over me. It was a curve ball I didn’t expect.
His green eyes shone with sincerity, as if this was the most serious conversation he’d ever had. “Annabella, do you believe me?”
“I trust you,” I whispered, the words coming out of my mouth all on their own. “So, yes…” I got lost in those green eyes, fell so deep into our connection that I would believe anything he said.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, but the affection in his gaze showed how much that meant to him, that my unconditional trust was everything to him. “She told me only one woman would love me for me, that she wouldn’t care about my wealth or power, but I would lose her…and she would be gone for good.” He rubbed his palms together. “I think she was talking about you…”
If that was the case, then there was no hope for us, ever. And that disappointed me…even though I’d made it clear that I intended to be with Liam for the rest of my life. It was terrifying to think that this was meant to happen, that we’d never had a chance to be together anyway. “Then we need to move on.”
“Hades broke his curse. Why can’t I break mine?”
“But is it really a curse? Did she say that?”
“No, but it seems that way.”
“No. It seems like you took me for granted, and now you’re suffering the consequences.” I shouldn’t be petty right now, but I was resentful that he took so long to fight for me, that he waited until I was married to another man.
His eyes showed his pain. “She said as long as you’re married, we have no chance.”
“That’s obvious. That’s the only thing dividing us. And no, I won’t leave Liam.”
“What if Liam leaves you?”
It was a stupid suggestion. “He wouldn’t. Not now. Not ever.” I knew Liam made mistakes, but his love for me was obvious. We could be in our fifties, and a twentysomething could throw herself at him, and he wouldn’t leave me for a younger woman. “I know you don’t have a very high opinion of him, but he’s more than the mistake he made. The only reason I knew he cheated in the first place was because he told me himself. He’s not gonna let me go, not gonna trade me in for someone better. He’s committed…as am I.”
His words came out as a whisper. “I don’t believe that.”
“Did the gypsy say we were soul mates?” Was that why she’d told him this story in the first place?
He held my gaze for a long time. “Would it make a difference if I said yes?”
My heart started to race in my chest. If his answer was yes, it would complicate everything. It would make me question my loyalty to my husband. Because if I was destined to be with someone else…then everything wouldn’t be in black-and-white anymore. “Yeah…I think so.”
He rubbed his palms together as he continued to stare, his answer on his tongue. But he kept his mouth shut, breathing loud in the quiet office. He stared at the floor for a moment, drawing out the silence.
“Damien…is that what she said?”
He closed his eyes for a moment before he lifted his chin. He didn’t open his eyes as he answered. “No.”
Disappointment ran rampant.
He finally opened his eyes and looked at me. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you from the bottom of my heart, Annabella.”
“Even so…it makes a difference.”
“It shouldn’t. Because I could have lied to get what I want, but I won’t. I won’t lie to the woman I love…and that’s pretty fucking strong.”