THE kids were long gone, the dog was sleeping more and more, and the television was always on. Ray and Fiona harboured fears they were slipping into old age without a fight. Fiona brought it up over their regular mid-morning Nescafé on the porch. ‘Ray, darling, I’m worried. We need some sparkle back in our lives,’ she said. ‘You’re right, love. A bit of twinkle wouldn’t go astray. But what?’ They tried bushwalking, caravanning and Tantric sex. But only after Fiona hung a huge disco ball in the living room did they begin to get their groove back.