THE moment Ashanti was introduced to the office, Ben knew he was stuffed. And every day his crush deepened. Like a vision, she was, and bloody lovely, too: kind, funny, smart as a whip. None of those things himself, Ben knew that it would not only be pointless to ask her out but that it would shatter any illusion that she might say yes if he did. So he loved her from afar, and tried as best he could to enjoy the sick feeling in the pit of his gut, to interpret it as the essence of being alive.