nineteen

Burning my father’s corpse on the back lawn was not how I envisioned spending my thirtieth birthday. Getting drunk, possibly high, then hitting more bars with Cyr to get drunker and higher was the plan. Instead I’m sitting behind his desk, watching as pack members carry shrouded bodies from the freezer to the massive pyre a story tall we’ve been assembling since last night. Sam, Omar, Lee, Pookie, Scott, Maureen, Troy, Donald, and Frank will all be placed around the pyre and cremated together in accordance with pack tradition. Tate and the others were thrown into a mass grave Jason insisted on digging all by himself. Anything to be alone these past two days. Having your father die, learning one of your best friends is responsible, and inheriting a pack of traumatized werewolves requires time to process. I can handle everything else for him.

“So, they’ll be considered missing persons?” I ask Dr. George Black, Ph.D. and head of the F.R.E.A.K.S.

The impossibly tall and thin man sits across from me in his pressed black suit. When the calm settled, and I had over two dozen dead bodies on my hands, I contacted the F.R.E.A.K.S. because hell, I didn’t know what else to do. Dr. Black listened as I unraveled the story, then proceeded to lay out his displeasure in the nicest way possible. I don’t think the man’s voice is capable of rising.

“Yes, and all their cases will be run through my squad,” Dr. Black says, sipping his water. The heat sneaks through the plastic covering the broken windows. Dead bodies first, home improvement second. “We’ll also issue death certificates signed off by our own ME, your father’s included.”

“What about my fugitive status? Jason’s?”

“Already erased. You can leave here whenever you like, a free woman.”

“Thank you,” I say with a smile. “And I know I’ve said it a million times but thank you for everything you’ve done, flying out here, cleaning up our mess like this.”

“Well, your father should have contacted me the moment he learned civilians were being attacked,” Dr. Black chides. “I’ve put forth a request to enact a new law that if a wolf commits any felony that we have to be immediately informed, and we have the oversight to investigate or not. This cannot happen again.”

“I’m sure that will go over well with the other pack leaders,” I say sarcastically. “Regardless, I appreciate all you’ve done for us and for being here. I know it would have meant a lot to my father.”

“He was a good man. A good leader. A friend even.”

“Thank you.” There’s a knock on the door and a moment later Rory pokes his head in. I insisted he stick around, make himself useful with the million odds and ends, so everyone can get used to him. We inherited him and the wolf Darius, whom Jason fought into submission. They earned their place too. Understandably people have been chilly and downright hostile toward them, but we’ll make pack out of them yet.

“Um, they’re almost done moving the bodies,” Rory says.

“Has anyone seen Jason?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Okay,” I say, rising and smoothing my black sundress. “I’ll go find him and then we’ll begin. Thank you, Rory.” The boy nods and leaves us. “You, Jason, and I can continue this after the ceremony, if that’s alright?”

Dr. Black stands too. “Of course.”

I round the desk and walk out with him. “There’s food in the dining room. Feel free to help yourself.”

Dr. Black smiles and moves toward the dining room. Now to locate our wayward Alpha. I do a sweep of the house. A bruised and battered Linda rests on the couch, clutching her children as the other munchkins watch Monsters Inc. Rory got her and Sarah out during the confusion of the siege. Neither woman has really spoken since they returned from the hospital with Deandra. Claire either. Devin’s been sitting by her side reading books aloud in her tent all day. She’s strong, they all are, and with time and attention it will get better. We just need to be there for them anyway we can.

As I pass the dining room, I spy Mona McGregor greeting Dr. Black by the chip bowl. Across the table Agent Price listens as the Central Pack Alpha Tim Merrill, a man as old as Dr. Black, speaks. Jefferson Monroe, Western Pack, and Desmond Preaker, Eastern Canada Pack leaders, were unable to attend but sent flowers. Nice of them.

I find Adam in the parlor as I have many a time in the past two days, engaged in intensive home repair. Right now it’s plastering over another bullet hole in the wall. Repairing the damage his brother wrought. I can’t even conceive of the conflicting emotions cycling inside him. He won’t talk about it, at least not to me. Keeping busy is working for now.

“Have you seen Jason? We need to begin the ceremony,” I say.

“Check his house.”

“Thank you.” I’m about to step away but stop myself. “Oh, Alpha Merrill was asking to see Jason earlier. He seems old school, wouldn’t talk to me. Maybe he’ll speak to Jason’s Beta. He’s in the dining room. Can you …”

“Sure.” He sets down his spackler. And if in his hour of need a certain witch comforts him, more’s the better. The man deserves some damn happiness, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he gets it. I squeeze his hand as he passes.

I climb into Frank’s SUV and drive down the gravel path. For the first time in days, I’m nervous. I haven’t said but thirty words to Jason, all of those on pack business since the attack. He’s been keeping himself isolated with really only Adam to keep him company. I don’t even know if he’ll come to the funeral. People are beginning to talk. They need their leader strong. There. I need him there. He’s never let us down before, he won’t today.

“Jason?” I call as I step inside his bungalow. I hear sanding from the workshop. Of course. Jason has his back to me when I open the door. He’s still working on that guitar, hand sanding out the rough edges from the frame. “Jason?”

“I thought you were going to leave me alone,” he says, still sanding.

“Well, I’m not here for me. I’m here for them. For you.”

Neither of us says a word. He just sands. After thirty seconds, he breaks the silence. “I was making this for Tate,” he says without turning around. “For his birthday. I … want to finish it for some reason.”

“He was your friend longer than he wasn’t,” I say, slowly walking over. “It’s gonna take more than two days to reconcile the man he became to the one you grew up with. Who taught you to shoot a gun and fight. Who was like a brother to you. It’s impossible to just flick a switch and turn off that love.” I stand by his side and touch the guitar’s neck. “Besides, it’s beautiful. It deserves to be finished. Maybe you can give it to Dusty or Nicole.”

“Or you,” Jason offers, glancing up at me. “Birthday present.”

“I’d be honored.”

He bows his head, a bit of wood sprinkling in the light like glitter. “Is it time?”

“Yes. We’re just waiting on you.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just been …”

“I know. And you more than deserve some time alone. I can pick up the slack for you.” Hesitantly, I place my hand on his shoulder. “But right now, they need you there. They need you there strong. They need you to help them say good-bye to those they loved. Who died fighting for us all. You need it too.”

“I …” His head lowers even more. “I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll say or do the wrong thing. I’m scared I can’t lead these people. That I’ll let them down.”

“You passed the first test. You saved them, Jason. Now … you just have to pass the next million, starting with the one waiting at the house. You need to step up, step out, and say good-bye to our father, our friends, and let those people who remain know you will be there for them no matter what. You need to show them you are the man Frank knew you were. A leader.” I lift up his chin to meet his tear-rimmed eyes. “A good man who loves and would die for each and every one of them. Like his dad.” I smile. “And I will be here, as long as you’ll have me. Picking you up when you fall. Making you smile when you need one. Being the woman who is always in your corner, who’ll always sing you home. The woman who will do her damnedest to be the mate you deserve. Watching over you as you have me. Because we’re stronger together than apart. So … I’m here as long as you need me. If you need me, I’m yours.” I kiss his forehead. “See you down there, Blondie. We’ll be waiting.”

I wipe his tears away, give him one last sweet smile, and walk away. I make it through the door before he calls, “Vivian?” I barely spin all the way around before he’s in front of me, staring down at me as if I were the only woman in the universe. He grabs me around the waist, pulls me in, and kisses me like the world’s about to end if he doesn’t. And with this kiss any and all doubts leave me.

This. This is where I belong. In this man’s arms. No more being lost. Or frightened. And if this isn’t love, I’ll never know what is. He pulls away, searching my eyes once more for the same thing he always has. When a smile stretches across that adorable face, and I can all but hear his soul sing, I think he’s found it at last. Me too. “I’m ready. Let’s go join our family.”

He slides his hand into mine and leads me out into the sunshine where the birds fly high and the breeze drifts on by. And damned if I’m not feeling good.

the end