Chapter 8

I checked out the city as we walked. Porky and Takkar kindly pointed out points of interest. Jeddia proved to be a much larger city than I thought. My new friends said the population was over one hundred and fifty thousand. That was a huge city in the game, especially since by population they meant mobs. Players weren't counted.

"Where do you live in real life?" I asked.

"We both live in Queens," Porky said. "But I was born and grew up in the St. Louis suburbs. I moved to New York for a job."

"Queens? As in New York City?"

I was supposedly on the other side of the world, so it made sense to be in a city played in by players from an East Coast city.

"There's another Queens?"

That explained why Jeddia's population was so large. NYC players needed a larger city to play in, otherwise the players would overwhelm the mob population. His pigman friend, Takkar, asked where I was from.

"LA," I said, pointing at the white wings attached to my helmet. "The City of Angels, duh."

They laughed. As much as I loved guys who made me laugh, I loved guys who laughed at my jokes even more.

"That's the Colosseum," Takkar said, as we rounded a corner and stopped.

            Colosseum. This is the city of Jeddia's main coliseum. Major events are celebrated here, along with weekly gladiatorial games.

Not all structures were named like that in the game, just the important ones.

It was huge. Gigantic. One might say, colossal. The massive stone structure looked just like the one in Rome, only not in ruins. A boisterous crowd surrounded it, slowly passing into it. Street venders loudly called out what they offered, feeding the excited spectators.

"Holy crap, that thing must be a hundred feet high," I said.

"One hundred and sixty, actually. It's almost an exact copy of the original, but enhanced for the game," Porky said. "It covers more than six acres of prime real estate, too, and you only see half of it."

"The other half is underground," Takkar said. "We know, since we fight as free gladiators most weekends."

"How long have you been doing that?" I asked, looking at their levels.

"Just the last three weekends," Porky said. "We've only been playing Battle for Glory about a month."

According to Takkar, neither of them had much time to play, so were volunteering for the gladiatorial games as a way to get XP and level up. At their levels in the low 20s, I suspected they got their asses killed more often than not.

I told them my tale of woe, and Porky promised to log out and check on my situation in real life once we reached the tavern. Since I was the one who checked on Carly when she was cursed and trapped in the game, I had a pretty good idea of my situation, but felt grateful for his help confirming it.

They led me to a street of two-story rowhouses behind the Colosseum. The street was filled with all manner of monster races: pigmen, goblins, orcs, kobolds. Like the denizens of Goblin Alley, they stood along the walls, sat on the stoops, and glared at passersby. Porky and Takkar ignored them, but those hostile looks creeped me out.

"Here it is," Porky said, pointing at a stone structure halfway down the street. "The Pig Sty."

"What the hell?"

"It's a lot cleaner than the name implies," Takkar said, while they both chuckled. "It's owned by Gusan Lo, a mob pigman and former gladiator. He's quite proud of his heritage, but he has a sense of humor, too."

A pair of drunks, goblin and drow, were passed out together next to the door. As we reached the door, I realized the drow was female, and they'd passed out while humping. That made me pause. Since when did drow sleep with anyone but another drow? They were more stuck up than elves. Both were mobs, as well.

Inside, it proved dark, smoky, and muggy. The place was packed with everything but humanity. Yeah, I was the only human. The serving wenches were all mobs, mostly female pigmen. One serving girl was an orc, with an amazing body. She was only the second female orc I'd ever seen.

There weren't any tables available, so we stood by the bar. Exotic music played, while the patrons sang, laughed, and played dice or cards. A large fireplace blazed away, centered on the back wall. Most of the patrons had a sheen of sweat. Did they like being too hot? I didn't, so inventoried my armor.

Yeah, my armor vanishing got everyone's attention. My bad.

They quickly forgot me. Thankfully.

"Be careful and don't start a fight," Porky whispered to me. "You'll respawn back in that alley across town, and if I know Xavier he is standing there waiting for you."

Good point.

Our mugs arrived. Delivered by Gusan Lo himself, a massive pigman with just one eye, lots of scars, and missing a few fingers, too. But he proved a cheerful fellow, always smiling and laughing. His banter with the customers and serving wenches amused me.

"So does this tavern operate twenty four seven?" I asked.

"No, sunrise to midnight," Porky said. "No one waits until five in the afternoon to start drinking here." He chugged his beer down, slammed the pewter mug on the bar, and smacked his lips. "I swear, beer is so much better here." He winked at me. "I'll be right back."

Porky blinked out of existence.

Again, that drew a lot of eyes. It made me wonder what the ratio of players to mobs tended to be. At the moment, mobs outnumbered players in that tavern by ten to one. Really, besides me and Takkar, there were only two other players: a big, half-orc warrior and a jolly little dwarf mage.

I watched the half-orc player for a few minutes. Studied him.

"Don't even think about it," Takkar said. "He'll kill you so fast, you won't have time to earn a single point."

            I squinted at the half-orc, making his class appear over his head again. Half-orc. Warrior (Lvl 72).

"Holy crap, I didn't notice his level before," I said, turning back to the bar. "Thanks for the save."

"My pleasure," Takkar said, giving me another hard slap on the back.

"Hey, why do you keep slapping me on the back?" I snapped. "I'm a woman. We don't do that crap. Don't hit me. I don't like it."

"I know," he said, chuckling. "But your tits jiggle so sexily when I do it."

"Oh my God! I'd kill you right now if I wasn't a stinking level 2," I said, giving him my best deadly glare. "But you'd just stab me in the heart, you pig."

"I want to stab you, but not in the heart," Takkar said, wagging his brows. "But I'll buy you another beer. For now."

I laughed, but knew he was serious.

"You know, you'd get more women if you didn't play a pigman."

"You'd be surprised," he said. "I'm hung like a boar."

I shook my head, trying to get images of him naked out of my head. What did 'hung like a boar' even mean? Of course, players did have some control over how well they were hung, so you know they were all massive. Mobs, not so much. Weird thing is, I'd heard that goblins, and especially kobolds, had the longest, thickest members.

We polished off two more mugs before Porky reappeared. Just popped in out of thin air. He scared the bejesus out of me, and then slapped my butt.

"I'm back," he declared. "How many mugs did I miss?"

"Three," I said. "Well?"

"Not good, but not bad, either," he said, and shrugged. "They disconnected you after four hours, not realizing you were cursed and trapped. So they took you, or the other you, to the hospital for observations. You're expected to make a full recovery." He paused. "But they said there is nothing they can do for you here in the game. Unless you want them to delete you…"

"No!" I cried. That never occurred to me. "Hell no."

"Well then, my dear, you just have to make the best out of a bad situation" Porky said. "Speaking of which, time to get you drunk."

It was official. I was trapped in the game forever. At least my physical self would continue on as before, though I'd heard rumors about emotional issues for people "split' like that in the game.

I looked at Porky, then Takkar. Neither looked the least bit sad for my situation. In fact, they mostly just stared at me boobs. Pigs.

"No, not this early. But I expect you to get me stupid drunk tonight. And I'm not paying for any of it." I paused, considering my options. "I can have one more mug, but then I have to go earn more XP and level up my skills."

Tomorrow, I'd have to decide on what I'd do with my life. I had to earn a living. Did I really want my entire existence to be one long dungeon crawl? Or should I learn a trade? The thought of a soul-sucking day job inside a game was too depressing to contemplate. We played to forget about our stupid jobs. But there was definitely one job I had to perform.

            I'm going to find a way to kill Artimus permanently , I thought. That made me smile.