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After eating then washing the dishes Sady whispered to Amanda. "I've got to use the bathroom but I'm afraid to go by myself. I've heard of people falling in and dying in those things!"
Amanda grabbed her arm. "We'll be back," she announced. "Sady and I are checking out the facilities." They took hand sanitizer and the TP from their site before heading to the vault toilet.
"Oh, my God! I can smell it from here," Amanda groaned. They cautiously approached the small buildings. "That's the same fly I saw standing on the serving spoon," Amanda told Sady. "I'm pretty sure that one picked up a bean before he flew off. We're all going to get dysentery."
Sady opened the door and grimaced at Amanda. "It's worse inside," she hissed. "What should we do?"
"I'd suggest answering nature's call in the natural surroundings," Amanda said. "Except the mosquitoes, spiders, and flies will kill you quicker than the air in there. Just go fast because the insects down the hole will bite your butt." Sady looked scared.
"And don't forget to cover the seat," she yelled after Sady.
When Sady came out she said, "Well, they don't have to worry about people taking too long in those things, that's for sure. I wish I could say that was the last time I needed it. Amanda, we have to use it for the whole time we're here!" she wailed.
"Stop threatening me," Amanda warned as she took her turn. She nearly kicked off the door in her haste to exit. "Just run, Sady, and pray we aren't permanently saturated with that odor!" At their campsite they liberally used the hand sanitizer again.
"I think we need that menthol-latum to put under our noses," Amanda suggested. It was getting dark, and the Knights strolled by.
CJ yelled at one of the young boys who nearly knocked her over on his bike. The little brat yelled back at CJ, “Watch where you're going, granny!” CJ's eyes narrowed and Harry reminded her of their job.
"Don't fall in," Amanda said sarcastically.
"We're taking a walk," Harry said. CJ held up the night vision goggles and grinned.
"We're stalking a poacher. Have a good night, ladies," she said.
"What's she so happy about?" Sady asked.
"She probably hasn't walked past the methane leak yet," Amanda replied. "There can be no other explanation."
Matt showed up with a deck of cards. "You girls want to play?"
"What did you have in mind?" Sady asked.
"Strip poker?" he suggested with a grin.
Amanda snorted. "I always win, but depending on who else is in the game I sometimes consider that losing. And with you in the game, either way it's a losing situation," she scoffed.
"Gin rummy?" he offered. The women looked at each other and nodded.
They played inside the tent, using an electric lantern for light. Amanda pulled out a bag of cookies and Matt frowned. "Didn't you read CJ's instructions?" he asked.
"Of course I did," Amanda lied. "Now be nice or you don't get any cookies."
It was well past sunset, and the Knights were still gone. Matt called it a night and pulled out his flashlight to walk to his site. "See you in the morning," he said cheerfully.
"Oh, shut up," Amanda snapped as she pushed him out of the tent. She and Sady used bottled water to brush their teeth and laid down on the sleeping bags.
After a half hour Sady asked, "Amanda, can you sleep?"
"Yes, just not here! It sounds like a jungle out there. I need engines and sirens to soothe me to sleep. The whole nature experience makes me want to kill someone."
Sady giggled. "Me too!" She heard a rustling and Amanda turned on a flashlight. She handed Sady a cup of booze and kept the bottle for herself.
"See if that helps. Just don't drink so much you gotta pee. Because I'm not stepping out of this tent until I can see where I'm going and what's walking beside me! I don't need no Yogi Bear looking for my picnic basket," she said.
"You got any more of those cookies?" Sady asked. The package landed next to her. "Thanks," she whispered.
Sady didn't know what time it was when she heard twigs snapping outside the tent. "Who's there?" she asked. No one responded, and the noises ceased. Sady snuggled deeper into her sleeping bag. Amanda was wrong about one thing. It wasn't hot in the tent- it was cold. Sady bet if she turned on a light she'd see her breath. Brr!
She stumbled out of her tent in the morning, wrapped in her sleeping bag. Amanda was still sleeping, so the booze must have worked for her. Sady shivered her way to the Knight's campsite. Harry, bless his heart, already brewed a pot of coffee. He stepped out of the tent with a smile. "Should I pour?" he grinned. Sady nodded, teeth chattering. She hugged the mug for as long as she could, then the natural need for caffeine took over and she drank it.
"Where's CJ?" she asked.
"She's at the lake having a bath," Harry told her.
Sady's brows dropped. "What's the temperature of that lake?"
"Brisk?" Harry offered.
"Colder than Harry's mother on our wedding day," CJ said, making them jump. "You know it's true Harry, so quit looking offended and pour me a cup of coffee- please?"
"How can I resist that?" Harry asked Sady. "My wife said please," he teased CJ, handing her a cup. She took it into the tent to change out of her wet bathing suit.
"Give me a cup of coffee before I kill someone, Handsome," Amanda demanded in a grouchy voice. She stumbled into the camp and dropped into a chair.
"That works too," Harry told Sady as he handed Amanda coffee.
Matt appeared a few minutes later with wet hair. "I suppose you've been enjoying a brisk bath?" Sady asked sourly. He shook his head and sprayed her with water.
"You girls like to sleep in, don't you?" he asked.
"What time is it?" Amanda snarled.
"7:30, and we've all been to the lake," Matt replied.
"Well, congratulations, Mr. Seven Freaking Thirty," Amanda scowled. "Why are your lips blue?"
"You don't want to know, Amanda," Sady warned. "The lake water is piped straight from the Arctic."
"So when's it warm up to bathing temperature?" Amanda asked.
Matt snorted. "About the third week in July... during a scorching summer."
"And it's the end of August. Well, if that isn't just another nail in the coffin I don't know what is," Amanda complained. "How far is the lake?"
“Not too far,” CJ said. “Only about a five-minute walk.”
"A five minute... did you say walk?" Amanda demanded. CJ nodded with a grin.
"Time to bury this coffin," Amanda said. "Because there can't be anything else that can go wrong. I am not leaving this spot until I get some sustenance for my hike to the lake. A girl could pass out from the lack of nutrition and over-exertion," she sniffed.
Harry set a plate in front of her and she raised a brow. "What's this?" she asked.
"Breakfast," he replied.
"No, Handsome. Breakfast comes with several items on your plate and looks edible. Or it comes stacked on your plate loaded with butter and syrup. This doesn't even smell like food."
"It's powdered scrambled eggs and toast," Harry explained patiently.
"Yup- that's just what it looks like," Amanda snorted. "SOS. Don't you have any granola bars, or something with flavor?"
"I can see how my luck is down at the lake and catch a fish if you want," Matt offered.
"I'll eat the S-rations," she snapped.
Sady didn't say anything, not wanting to hurt Harry's feelings. "Did you bring any breakfast food?" Sady whispered to Amanda. The look on Amanda's face gave her the answer, so they ate.
"Thank you, Harry," Sady said politely. "I've never tasted anything like it."
"And I hope I never will again," Amanda mumbled under her breath.
"Is it our turn to do dishes?" Sady asked. Amanda smacked her on the arm.
"We already worked- getting that breakfast down. Let Stubbles have a turn while we go catch pneumonia. Which way is the lake?" she asked.
"The sign and arrow that says 'To the Beach' might be helpful," CJ suggested in a tone of irony. "Remember to use the Eco-friendly soap in your tote."
"Yeah, we wouldn't dream of using anything else," Amanda said with an eye roll. "Come on, Sady. I hope you're keeping track of all these little gems for the next time we camp," she added sarcastically.
When the women left, Matt asked Harry about their scouting trip.
"We found a few illegal traps, but nothing in them. We took pictures and sent them to the DNR," he replied. "After breakfast we're going out to see if we can find anything else. There're extra binoculars and cameras with zoom lenses. Would you like to take Sady and Amanda and go in a different direction?"
"No, not really," Matt replied frankly.
"Let me put it to you this way," CJ said. "You take Sady and Amanda in a different direction."
"Since you asked so nice, CJ, how can I say no?" Matt asked. "Maybe those two will get lost on the way to the lake. You do the dishes and I'll just go check on them. And where was that camera, Harry?"
CJ shook her head and pushed him out of the campsite. "You can have the camera after the women are back and fully clothed. Now go make sure they didn't do something stupid like sneak chemicals to the lake for bathing."
Matt got to the lake not long after Sady and Amanda. He didn't need to worry about them staying in the water any longer than necessary. He laughed as they blasted from the lake. "You two just set a speed record for bathing."
"Why are you here?" Amanda asked. "You enjoy watching others in pain, don't you? I bet when you were a kid you pulled the wings off butterflies just for fun," she stuttered. She and Sady shivered with cold, despite the large beach towels they wrapped in.
"Just enjoying the show," he teased. Sady hopped from one foot to the other, trying to get her blood circulating. "You two better get dressed," he warned.
"You think, professor?" Amanda snapped. She looked at Sady and asked, "What's that brown thing on your leg?"
Sady's eyes got enormous, and she stared at Matt. "Please tell me she's kidding." He shook his head, and she bent over to look. She stared for about three seconds, then she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Get it off!" She shook her leg and looked for a stick to pry it off.
"Hold on there, princess." Matt yelled to be heard over her screaming. He grabbed her arm. "It's just a leech. Hang on and I'll remove it."
Sady screamed again. "Amanda, did he say just a leech? What's a leech?"
"It's a bloodsucker," Amanda said with a shudder. "Hurry up, Stubbles, because you have leech searching duty!"
"Hold still, Sassafras," Matt told Sady. He used his fingernail to detach the leech while Sady shrieked. "I just had a bath with bloodsuckers! Why didn't you warn us?"
"Because you wouldn't put a toe in that lake if you knew. Now you need to clean that area, put on antibiotic cream and a bandage."
Amanda interrupted. "Shut up, Meadows, and check us over. If I go home missing a few pints of blood I'm taking it from you! Now start looking!" Matt looked them over and pronounced them leech-free.
"What happened to the hot weather?" Sady asked, trembling from the cold and her leech encounter. "Isn't it still summer?"
"Shorter, cooler days and farther from the equator," Matt explained. "The temps aren't aren’t as warm as they are in Ann Arbor."
"No kidding," Amanda spat. "You're just a fountain of wisdom, Stubbles! We didn't need you to tell us that. Come on, Sady, let's go before they find our frozen leech covered bodies in this tundra." The women hustled to their tent and changed out of their wet bathing suits.
“Hey!” Sady shrieked. “There's a hole in the tent. Matt, those little perverts sliced a peep-hole in the side of our tent!”
“I'll get the tape from CJ to fix it. Now hurry up, will you? What's taking her so long?” Matt asked Amanda, who finished changing and sat in a camp chair with a book and a bag of cookies.
"I told her any cleaning product that says all-in-one should not be used on your hair. But would she listen to me? That's like one-size-fits-all pantyhose. Everyone loses, because they don't fit anyone. You know what I mean?"
Matt shook his head and muttered, "I'm not even going to use my imagination on that one, Amanda."
"Well, you think I don't know about camping, but I know the important things. Like not washing your hair in a lake with the same product you use on your dishes. Now her hair's gonna be a mess because CJ wouldn't let her use conditioner. Why don't you stick your head in the tent and ask Sady how it's coming?" she suggested.
Something hit the soft side of the tent and Sady yelled, "I heard that!" She appeared a few minutes later with her long brown hair still a tangled mess. She glared at Matt. "Don't laugh or I'm going to make you untangle it. I'd do it myself but I've already ripped half of it out by the roots."
"I wouldn't think of laughing," Matt replied with a grin. "The wild look suits you," he teased. "Now are you ladies ready for a hike?"
"Do I look ready for a hike?" Amanda growled. Matt looked at Sady and she snarled.
"Suck it up," he told them. "Orders from the boss, so get on those hiking shoes because we're looking for signs of poaching."
"Are there any options that don't involve a potential heart attack?" Amanda asked.
"Yeah, why don't you go grab another bag of cookies?" Matt suggested.
"How deep is this lake? Because I could get into physical activity that would allow me to sink your body tied to a concrete block. I wonder if the state would give me a reward?" Amanda mused. "No one told me we were doing an endurance race..." she muttered as she entered the tent to get her walking shoes.
"All ready, Sassafras?" Matt asked Sady. She lifted her foot to show him her shoe. "Where's your backpack with water and emergency supplies?"
"Looks to me like you're wearing it," Amanda said as she zipped the tent behind her. "That wasn't on CJ's list." Matt gave her a suspicious look and glanced at Sady, who shrugged.
"What's in that bag you're carrying, Amanda?" he asked.
"I have the necessities- girl things. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, that kind of stuff. Plus cookies. I don't have room for water," she replied.
"Next time you haul your own supplies," he complained as he added extra water to his backpack. Amanda's snort let him know her opinion of next time. Behind his back Sady and Amanda exchanged a high-five.
He passed them each a pair of binoculars. "The strap goes around your neck," he said insultingly.
"Where's those night-vision goggles?" Amanda asked. "I wouldn't mind having a pair of those."
"They're night-vision, Amanda, night being the operative word. CJ isn't going to let you use them to scope men," he responded.
"Too bad, because that was a fine looking DNR officer who strolled through here this morning," Amanda said. "I'd like to scope his tent at night." She gave a deep sigh then asked, "Well, what are you waiting for? Lead the way unless you think Sady and I can do a better job."