CHAPTER NINE

Alec was careful to give Sarah her space when he saw her at breakfast the next morning. She still maintained that she wanted to face Ben, though he didn’t think it was a good idea. Given how much Carnell had done to her, the man would only try to humiliate her further. And he couldn’t let that happen.

Guilt weighed upon him, though he didn’t think he could have changed the outcome. If he’d told Sarah that he’d been involved with Carnell at the beginning, she would have fled the hotel after the first night. But now, she didn’t trust him—and he couldn’t blame her for that. He didn’t deserve her trust. And though she hadn’t truly broken it off with him, he could sense the distance widening between them.

Sarah emerged from the hallway, wheeling her suitcase behind her. She wore a green dress that accentuated her curves, and a black wool coat. Her blond hair hung loose around her shoulders, and she walked with purpose, as if he meant nothing to her anymore. He deserved that.

When she approached the front desk to check out, he waited for her by the door.

“The car is waiting,” he told her, signaling for the bellman to take her suitcase. She followed him outside to the car. Freezing rain was falling, and he helped her inside the vehicle.

He offered nothing further and stared straight ahead while trying to decide what to say. The atmosphere was tense, and he wanted to reach for her hand to reassure her. But she was pressed up against the opposite door, looking outside the window as they drove to the airport. It was clear that she didn’t want anything to do with him, and the last thing he wanted was to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable.

And so, the silence continued.

His phone buzzed with a message from Lacey. We found Carson. Do you want me to give him your number?

A part of him wanted to say no. And yet, his mother had written him a letter, begging his forgiveness. He didn’t know what he should do. And so, he revealed his phone to Sarah, and said, “Lacey just texted me about Carson. What do you think I should do?”

She eyed him for a moment, as if she couldn’t believe he was asking her advice. But he needed some way of breaking the rigid silence between them.

She read the message and thought a moment. “If it were me, I would give him your phone number. You could talk to him and see what he’s like. At least, for your mother’s sake.”

“I still wonder if he wants something. Why else would he send the letter with no note of his own?”

“Did he send you the letter?” she asked. “Or was it someone else?”

“He sent it to the New York office, and Lacey forwarded it to me here.” But she had raised a good point. What if someone else had found the letter and sent it to his assistant? His father was in jail and had no access to his personal belongings, so it couldn’t be Logan. “I don’t see how it could be anyone else. But I suppose I can find out from Carson.”

Her eyes softened upon him, and he was glad he’d asked her advice. He sent a quick text to Lacey, giving her permission to give his half-brother his cell phone number. Time would tell whether anything came of it.

“Where do you want to stay tonight?” he asked. “You’re welcome to have your own room at my place. Or I can book you a room at the hotel.” He didn’t want her to feel obligated or threatened in any way.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” she said. “I’ll take care of my own reservation.”

“I do worry about you,” he admitted. “I want you to be safe.”

“You’re under no obligation to me,” she started to say, but he cut her off.

“No. This isn’t about obligation. It’s about the fact that I care about you. Even if you’re angry with me, even if you want nothing more to do with me. I want you to be protected, no matter what.”

She drew back from his anger, but he wouldn’t apologize for his words. For a long time, she turned her attention back to the freezing rain spattering against the window. “Was any of it real between us, Alec? Especially since you had business plans with a man who tore my life apart.”

He couldn’t blame her for being suspicious. She had every right to be. But he had to choose his words carefully so she would understand his reasons. “At first, I only meant to protect you. But the more I got to know you, the more I liked you.” He thought of the night she had baked him cookies and her generous heart. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, and the kindest woman I’ve ever met. I enjoyed spending time with you, Sarah. And then when you spent Christmas Eve taking care of me, I realized I was falling hard.”

He wanted to take her hand, touch her shoulder. Anything to make her see the truth. But he saw a tear slide down her cheek. If he touched her now, she might pull back again. And he didn’t want her to feel threatened.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes since the day I met you. I never meant to seem controlling or to take advantage.” He laid himself bare, hoping she would understand. He now knew that it was better to step back, to give her the freedom she wanted. Only then could they build a real relationship. “But I want you to be happy, more than anything else. Even if it’s without me.”

The words pained him, but they were true. And he knew that, even if he let her go and gave her the freedom she needed, she still might never trust him again.

Sarah had no idea what to do now. Her mind felt scattered with everything she had left to do. She’d made an online reservation at another hotel, and she’d decided to postpone her Florida flight until after she’d spoken with Ben. The very thought made her stomach twist with nausea.

Throughout the flight, Alec had been attentive and kind, and he hadn’t pressed her for more. But sometimes when she’d sneaked a glance at him, she had glimpsed yearning upon his face.

He lied to you, she reminded herself. He doesn’t deserve a second chance.

She knew that…and yet, she couldn’t deny that he’d made her feel wonderful. Even so, she couldn’t take such a risk after he’d kept so many secrets from her. Their relationship had begun on uneven footing, and just like her first marriage, she’d fallen under his spell, believing in the fairytale. She had allowed the white knight to rescue her, but now it was time to rescue herself.

Although she didn’t want to touch a cent of Alec’s money, she knew better than to put herself in an unsafe situation. There was no harm in borrowing money until she found a job to support herself.

The old fears came back to haunt her, but she reminded herself that she had to be a different woman now. She would be strong and face down the challenges—even her worst fears of all.

The car pulled to a stop in front of his apartment, and Alec waited for a moment. “Do you want to come up for a little while?”

It was dark outside, and she was physically exhausted from the traveling. A part of her longed to say yes, to sleep in a warm bed so close.

But she knew it was better to go to a hotel instead. “Not tonight. We’ll talk more tomorrow, after your meeting.”

He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Go to Harrow Suites, then. A room will be waiting for you.”

She knew he meant the reserved suite he kept for himself, but she shook her head. “I’ve made my own reservation.” He paused a moment, before he gave a nod. Then he closed the car door and stood on the sidewalk as she drove away. She could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave, and it lingered in the back seat after he was gone. It was a physical ache to be away from him, but she knew it was for the best.

She still had the cell phone he’d given her, and it made her think of Miranda Carnell. She suspected the woman was furious with her. Without even knowing it, Sarah had been the Other Woman. She closed her eyes, pushing back the shame. It was Ben’s fault, not hers. Her only mistake was her naïveté, believing that what they’d had was real.

The car pulled to a stop in front of Harrow Suites, where she’d made a reservation. Though it probably wasn’t a great idea, the familiarity of the place made her feel safe. The driver opened her door and brought her bags inside. She tipped him, and he drove away, leaving her to walk inside alone.

“Good evening, Ms. Walsh,” Cora greeted her with a smile. The woman’s blond hair was tucked back in a French twist, and there was genuine warmth in her demeanor. “I have your room ready now.”

“He called you, didn’t he?”

Cora didn’t have to ask who she meant, but simply nodded. “Mr. Harrow told us you would be arriving soon.”

“I actually have my own reservation already.”

She started to reach for her purse, but Cora was already shaking her head. “You know he’ll want you to stay in his suite.”

Sarah thought about arguing, but decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead, she simply thanked the young woman, who then arranged for a bellman to bring her bags upstairs.

“I know it’s not my business,” Cora said, “but he’s a good man. The kind who would give you the shirt off his back to help.” With a smile, she handed her the key cards.

Sarah started to walk toward the elevator, when she saw Jasmine wheeling a housekeeping cart down the hallway. It was late and well past working hours.

“Hey,” she greeted the woman.

Jasmine turned, and a faint smile tipped her mouth. “Hey.” She was wearing bright purple lipstick and her black and red curls had a sparkle of glitter on them.

“Did you have a nice Christmas?” Sarah asked.

Jasmine nodded. “Got my son some Legos and candy. He’s spending New Year’s with his dad. Thought I’d put in some overtime to pay those bills.” Her gaze passed over Sarah. “Looks like you had a good vacation.”

She felt the weight of Jasmine’s silent accusation, but couldn’t come up with anything except, “It was nice, yes.” For a moment, she felt embarrassed, but then she added, “I want you to know how much I appreciated your help when I first came here. I won’t ever forget it. I hope to repay the favor in the future, if I can.”

Jasmine offered a faint smile. “We’re strong women. We make our own future.” And with that, she rolled the cart down the hall.

The next morning, Sarah pressed End on the phone to hang up. Although her conversation had been short, she felt as if she’d taken the first steps toward regaining her independence. Even so, she felt the desperate urge for comfort food. Cookies. Chocolate. Anything, really.

Because the worst was yet to come. She had also called Ben’s secretary, pretending to be Alec’s assistant. She had moved the time of his meeting with Alec to thirty minutes earlier. She intended to confront Ben in public and put an end to his stalking, once and for all.

But this time, she would be ready. She had ammunition of her own, and she wouldn’t back down if he tried to threaten her again.

Her heart was filled with anxious energy mingled with hope. She flopped back in a chair, studying the bouquet of deep pink roses that had arrived this morning, along with a box of cookies. Alec had been careful not to pressure her, but he’d made no secret that he wanted to continue seeing her. She didn’t know how to feel about it yet. On one hand, she was cautious, wondering about his intentions. But on the other, she recognized his interest.

A knock at her room door jolted her into awareness. She walked toward the peep hole, expecting to see Alec. Instead, it was a man she didn’t recognize. He wore a name badge, and she suspected he might be a hotel employee from downstairs.

She didn’t know who he was or why he was here, but she had no intention of opening the door. Her heart was racing like machine gun fire, and her breath caught in her throat. A moment later, an envelope slid beneath the door. It was addressed to her.

Sarah waited until the hallway was empty before she picked it up and opened it. Inside, she saw several graphs that made almost no sense. It looked like profits and losses for Venture—almost as if someone had insider information about the company. And from the look of it, Ben’s financial investments were declining.

Who had sent these? She read through them for the next ten minutes, trying to decipher the information, when she suddenly heard another knock at the door. A moment later, the door opened. Sarah bit back a scream when she saw Alec standing inside the doorway.

“What are you doing? You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I really need to talk to you, and I was afraid you wouldn’t let me in.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t throw an ice bucket at your head,” she said. “Why are you here?” It irritated her that he’d opened her door without waiting for her answer.

“I came to talk to you about my meeting with Ben.” He remained near the door, and his expression was calm. “I want to know if you want me to call off the contract. I’ll try to find another way to save the hotels and not deal with him anymore.”

For a long moment, she kept silent, not knowing what to say. She hadn’t expected him to make such an offer. No, she didn’t want him engaged in business dealings with Ben, but she understood his reasons. If the hotel properties were struggling to turn a profit, it affected so many people’s jobs and their livelihood. Once the contract was signed, Alec might not have to deal directly with Ben.

It wasn’t fair to ask him to walk away—it would be a selfish move. And regardless of her anger at Ben, she could see no other way.

“I think you should try to save the hotels,” she answered. “Do what you have to do.”

And she would do the same. She didn’t want Alec to know about her meeting with Ben, because he would only worry for her safety. There was no harm in confronting her ex at the New York office, because he wouldn’t dare to cause a scene. This time, she intended to exert her own influence and fight back against what he’d done to her. For so long, she had remained in the shadows, afraid of Ben. But this time, she intended to confront him and ensure that he never contacted her again.

“Keep your meeting with Ben,” she said. “At least hear what he has to say.” She held out the papers to him. “By the way, someone slid these under the door a little while ago. They may be useful to you.”

“Who was it?”

She shook her head and shrugged. “He was a hotel employee, probably delivering the envelope from downstairs. I didn’t recognize the man, and I wasn’t about to open the door.”

“Good.” He accepted the papers and returned them to the envelope. “I’ll look at them later.” Then he took her hands. “Are you all right? Is there anything you need?”

She wanted so badly to say, Yes. I need you. I want things to go back to the way they were. But she pushed back the words. If Alec truly had feelings for her, he would still be there for her, whether the deal went through or not. She needed to know if she could trust him.

And so, she shook her head. “No. There’s nothing I need.” She pulled her hands from his and took a step back. Her pulse quickened, and she tried to suppress the swell of emotions as she walked toward the window. “But thank you for arranging the hotel suite. I’m still planning to pay you for it.”

Sarah heard his footsteps behind her. Outside, the window, snow blanketed the New York City streets. In a few days, the New Year’s celebration would begin, and she wondered what changes January would bring.

She turned to face him and saw the hesitancy and doubt in his demeanor. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had awakened in his arms.

“I want you to know, I would pull out of this deal if I could,” he said. “I know Ben Carnell is only in it for himself.”

She nodded. “And he’ll cut down anyone who stands in his way.” That was why she would use leverage of her own and find a way to help Alec. But if he knew about her plans, he might think she was undermining him.

He drew nearer to her. “I don’t want to talk about Ben any longer.” His palm moved to touch her back, and heat blazed through her. Despite everything, she was still attracted to Alec and longed to be in his arms.

But she was aware that if she allowed herself to be seduced again, it might end in heartache. She didn’t know if Alec truly had feelings or whether he was using her.

A sickening suspicion dawned within her. She had just given him the financial data about Venture, and she didn’t know what impact that would have. Had that been a mistake? She didn’t know what to think, except that she no longer trusted herself or her instincts. When Alec took a step closer, she retreated again. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening, and we’ll see where things stand then.”

She saw the flash of disappointment on his face once again, but he locked his gaze with hers. “I’m not giving up on us, Sarah. What we have is too good to let go.”

While she wanted to believe him, she couldn’t know for certain until tomorrow.

Alec tossed his keys on the kitchen counter while Marigold wove in between his legs. Though he didn’t blame Sarah for her reticence, he hadn’t expected to feel such emptiness. Everything made him think of her. The container of flour in the pantry reminded him of the night she had baked him cookies. He had enjoyed watching movies with her, sharing dinner, and talking late into the night.

And he missed the feeling of her silken skin beneath his, as he’d loved her. It was all he could do not to kiss her when he’d come to see her earlier.

He was exhausted from the travel, and he hadn’t yet opened the envelope Sarah had given him. Alec took out the papers and read through the graphs and financial data. It seemed that Venture was struggling even more than Ben had let on, and Alec wondered how to use this information to his advantage. It was likely that Miranda Carnell had sent it, though he couldn’t see why she would. Was she trying to warn him from entering a contract with Ben? He didn’t see another way out, though he would prefer not to deal with the man.

He made coffee, planning to stay up late enough to decipher the data when his cell phone rang. The number was unfamiliar, but the Washington D.C. area code made him pause.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Your assistant gave me your number,” a male voice said. “This is Carson Kildare.”

A strange tightness caught in his stomach, and for a moment, Alec wasn’t sure how to respond. At last, he said, “I received your letter. When did you find out about our mother?”

“Only last year, after my father died.” Carson’s voice held a heaviness, as if he had grieved the loss of the man. “All my life, he let me believe that my mother had died in childbirth. He loved her and always spoke of her with a smile, even though he married my stepmother.”

“Eva didn’t die in childbirth,” Alec said quietly, unable to keep the resentment from his voice.

“No. Your father killed her.” His brother’s voice turned darker. “I never got the chance to know Eva. And from the sound of it, she should have left the bastard.”

“I wish she had. She deserved better than my father,” Alec admitted. “And I regret every day that I couldn’t save her.”

His brother grew silent for a moment before he said, “I didn’t know if you’d want to know about me. I was the mistake that never should have happened. He killed her because of me.”

“He punished her because of you,” Alec corrected. “Every day for as long as I could remember. And I never understood why she stayed with him after I grew up and left the house. It was like she believed she deserved his treatment.”

“Maybe she thought it was her penance,” Carson suggested. “But I agree with you. She should have left.” He cleared his throat. “I’d like to meet you, if you have time. Maybe after the New Year.”

“She would have wanted that. I have pictures of her. Or some home videos you might want to see, if you can come up to New York City.”

“I’d appreciate it.” Carson cleared his throat. “And maybe some good can come out of all this. Now that you have my number, text me when you want to meet up, and I’ll take the train into the city.”

“Sounds good.” Alec ended the call and poured himself a cup of coffee, feeling a stronger sense of hope. Never had he imagined that he would find family, much less a brother. His gaze fell upon the financial documents he’d received, and a sense of clarity struck hard. He knew what he had to do—not only about Carnell, but also how to compromise with Sarah.

He flipped through pictures on his phone and saw the Christmas Eve photo of her with the Paris lights behind her. Although the bruise was visible, there was a shining light in her eyes that caught his heart. He wanted to spend more time with her, to love her and make more memories.

But first, he had to make a call.

Sarah walked into Venture Enterprises, her nerves raw with anxiety. She didn’t recognize the receptionist but greeted her, saying, “I’m here to see Ben Carnell.”

“He’s not available at the moment. Do you have an appointment, Ms…?” The young employee sent her a pained smile, as if she believed Sarah was here for romantic reasons. Oh God. She probably still believed Sarah was one of Ben’s women.

She swallowed back her pride, reminding herself of her purpose. Face Ben, tell him to leave you alone. Move on with your life.

“Sarah Walsh,” she answered. “Ben requested a meeting with Alec Harrow. I’m his assistant, and he’ll be joining us soon.”

At that, the receptionist’s demeanor appeared confused. Then she seemed to shrug it off and answered, “Of course, Ms. Walsh. I’m sorry.” She made a quick phone call and Sarah overheard her telling Ben’s assistant that his 10:30 appointment was here.

She took the elevator upstairs, and her heartbeat quickened with each floor they passed. Today, she had worn black trousers and a royal blue cashmere sweater, along with a black pea coat. In her hands, she carried a leather folder, though there was only a notebook inside.

When the elevator doors opened, her stomach twisted, and a chill descended into her stomach. She walked toward the conference room, and Ben’s assistant, Justine, was already rising from her desk, panic upon her face. Sarah had met the woman only once, but they hadn’t spoken much. From the stares of his coworkers, it was clear that all of them knew who she was.

“Good morning,” she said to Justine. “Please let Ben know I’m here. I’ll await him in the conference room.”

“But Ms. Walsh, he already has another appointment scheduled.”

Sarah turned back to her. “I am that appointment. And this won’t take long.” Without another word, she strode into the conference room. The walls were made of glass, which made it easier for her own safety. She took a seat at one of the side chairs and waited. Undoubtedly, Justine would have called Ben already, alerting him to her presence.

When he entered the conference room, she almost stood from her chair, but stopped herself. There was a curious, smug expression on his face. His dark hair had traces of gray at the temples, but Ben was still an attractive man. She had always known he was older, but his confidence had attracted her. That, and his intensity. He’d known just how to flatter and seduce her, and he had reveled in the power.

“Sarah,” he greeted her. “This is unexpected. If you’d like to come back in an hour, we could go to lunch and talk. I’m afraid I already have a scheduled appointment.”

“I know. I was the one who called to reschedule it earlier. Alec Harrow will be arriving in half an hour.” She gestured toward the chair across from her. “Please sit.”

Instead, Ben chose the chair at the head of the table, making her feel subordinate. He waited for her to speak, and Sarah gathered up the shreds of her composure. “I will not be returning to the apartment. You can have whatever I left behind. But don’t follow me again.”

His expression remained neutral, and the silence felt damning. She waited for him to argue with her or to tell her that she was being unreasonable. Instead, he rested his hands on the table. “I’m sure you understand that I’ll be turning down Alec Harrow’s offer now.”

She stiffened. “Why? Because I won’t continue to be your mistress?”

He gave a nod and leaned back in his chair. “I am, however, open to negotiation. If you want to reconsider your offer.”

She couldn’t believe Ben was being so manipulative. Did he honestly believe she would ever come back to him? Especially in exchange for closing the business deal with Alec? Not a chance.

She stood from her chair and pushed it in, looking down on him. “Do not contact me. Do not have me followed. If you do, I’ll file a police report on charges of stalking.”

“Are you threatening me?” There was a trace of amusement in his expression.

“I came here so you would have no doubt that I’ll never return to you.” No longer was she a young woman, filled with innocent dreams of a fairytale life with a millionaire. Now, she knew the truth about what sort of man he was. And thanks to Alec, she had glimpsed a very different relationship, one where she was on equal footing.

Alec had been trapped in the position of having to choose between his business and helping her. But the difference was that he’d given her choices. He had never forced her into anything and had respected her wishes. Whereas Ben had dominated every decision, unless it was one he had made.

“Goodbye, Ben.”

He stood from the table and blocked her way to the door. After a pause, he stepped aside to let her pass. “You were never good enough for me, Sarah.”

“No,” she answered. “I was far better. And if you don’t sign that deal with Alec Harrow, I’ll make sure every tabloid knows all about our fake marriage. I promise you that.”

Sarah made her exit, but her hands were trembling. On her way out, she was afraid of running into Alec. She had no idea what to say to him. Ben might back out of the deal, leaving him with no means of saving those hotels.

And it would be her fault.

A sickening sense of fear caught her, even as she glanced back and watched Ben pull out his cell phone to make a call. She hurried past his assistant and punched the elevator door button.

It had felt good to lash back at Ben, to threaten him just as he’d done. Yet now, she realized that she had only made the situation worse. He was a man who enjoyed winning.

And if he cancelled the contract, hotel properties would close. Employees like Jasmine and Cora would lose their jobs.

The elevator doors closed, and Sarah leaned back against the side wall.

What had she done?