When I get home from work the next day, I’m delighted to find Carly there, playing with James. She gives me a creditable smile as I enter the lounge.
“It’s so nice to see you,” I say, bending down to give her a hug. “How’s your mum doing?”
Carly swallows. “I’m afraid she passed away yesterday.”
I sit down beside her. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right.” She gives a weak smile. “It was very peaceful, she was ready to go and she died at home like she wanted. Everyone’s been down in these last few weeks to say goodbye and I was with her at the end. And the pain is over now.”
“Can I help with anything?”
“No, but thank you. Mum had a funeral plan, so it’s all paid for. I’ll let you know when it is.” She looks over to James. “Lauren’s run upstairs to the shower. James threw up down her cleavage.”
Ew. “Is he okay?”
“Fine. Just a liquid burp.”
I pick James up and give him a snuggle. He gurgles happily.
“What are you going to do now?” I ask.
“I’m working on cleaning up the house. I stripped one wall this morning, but there’s a fair bit to do before I can start painting.”
I frown. “Is it rented?”
“No, Mum owns it,” Carly swallows. “Owned. She had this thing about redecorating every few years. She declared it due six months ago, but she wasn’t well enough to stand the disruption and there wasn’t anywhere she could go. She made me swear I’d get down to it as soon as she was gone. Bit of an odd last request, huh?”
“Well, if that’s what she wanted.”
“She thought keeping busy was the best way to cope with grief. She did the whole house right after Dad died. The neighbours thought she was nuts. They decided he’d insisted on wallpaper she hated.”
“As coping methods go, it sounds quite positive.”
“I think so.”
I hesitate. “Are you still planning to come back to work?”
“Yes, and soon. We’ve been living off benefits and what I’ve got saved, so I can’t afford to fall apart, and I think I’ve done a lot of my grieving already. I’m not saying I’m fine, but I’ll manage.”
“James has missed you.”
“I’ve missed him too.” Carly strokes his downy hair.
Then she lowers her voice. “Brittany, can I ask about… Phillip?”
I hide my face against James’ head. “Well, as you probably know, Lauren did some digging on that front.”
Carly’s cheeks glow. “I’m sorry I let her get it out of me, but I was really bothered by the whole thing and I was sure she’d get to the truth. I wouldn’t let her tell me what she found, though. Not without asking you first.”
I fill her in on the sordid details. Carly goes pale. “Oh, my giddy aunt. I just thought he might be having an affair, not… well, that.”
“It is fairly unusual. Anyway, I spoke to him about getting either counselling or a divorce and he refused both options.”
“Oh.”
I put James back on his mat and he starts to crawl off. “I’m still going to go ahead with it, but I have a list of arrangements that I need to make first. The solicitor I went to advised me that I should move out to show that the marriage has broken down, but I can’t start looking for a place properly until I have the money for a deposit and the first month’s rent, and I can’t take much out of the main account in cash without Phillip noticing. I think I can sell some of my nicer clothes and jewellery - my wardrobe is the one place in the house Phillip never looks into - but that’s going to take a little time.”
Carly looks thoughtful. “Well… I have a house.”
I blink. I’d never thought of that.
“Mum’s house is mine now. Or will be, once the paperwork is sorted. And the mortgage is all paid off - my dad’s life insurance did that - so you wouldn’t need to pay rent, just half the bills. It’s not fancy, but it’s got three bedrooms and a little garden for James to play in. That would do, wouldn’t it? At least until you find somewhere that suits you, or you sort out child support and you have more money to play with.”
I look from her to James and back again. “Are you sure?”
“I was planning to find a roommate, anyway.”
“That would be brilliant,” I say, a smile breaking out on my face.
Then I hesitate. “Carly… the trouble is that I can’t see how I’m going to be able to pay your wages. Not until Phillip starts paying child support.”
Carly watches James crawl back to us. “Well, what I could do is take on another couple of kids. I’ll check the regulations, but I think I can do that without having to register with Ofsted. It does mean he won’t get my full attention, but that’s going to happen whatever childcare arrangements you make.”
“That’s brilliant,” I say, feeling quite teary. “Thank you so, so much.”
“It’s no problem,” Carly says, as we hug. “And don’t worry, I promise to tell the neighbours that you’re not my girlfriend.”
I laugh into her shoulder, happy in the knowledge that I have friends - even if I soon won’t have a husband.
“Very important!” Penny says, rapping on her work bench at the start of that week’s cake decorating class. “I have entry forms for the autumn craft fair. Anyone interested, see me.”
“What’s that?” I ask Zack, as we gather our tools.
“There’s a big fair every year and they run competitions in each section. It’s definitely worth going to. A lot of professionals go in for it and they produce some fabulous stuff.”
“And we can enter?”
“Anyone can, so long as they can fill in a form.”
I feel a rush of excitement - and nerves - at the idea of my work being displayed for everyone in town to see. People in the class seem to like it, but would anyone else?
“I think you should have a go,” Zack says. “Your work is good. The top prizes go to professionals, but you might get an honourable mention.”
“You think?”
“Penny,” Zack asks, as she approaches, “do you think Brittany should enter the craft fair?”
“Definitely,” Penny says, nodding. “I always encourage students to have a go, but I think you’d do particularly well. See me at the end of class and we’ll talk about what sort of thing to do for it.”
“There you go,” Zack says, as she moves on again.
“I don’t know,” I say, fiddling with my celstick. “I’ve never done anything like that before. The only thing I’ve made that people have admired is James. Oh, and my sister raves about my lasagne.”
“First time for everything.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“Now, I’m nipping out to buy a lottery ticket,” Penny tells the class. “It’s a big rollover and I don’t want to miss it.”
“What would you do if you won the lottery?” I ask Zack, as I mould autumn leaves. “Would you still work at the bakery?”
“Nope,” he says. “I’d buy a bigger one.”
“Even if you won £30 million and never needed to work again?”
“Even then.”
Maybe not everyone hates working for a living.
“You really love your job?”
He grins. “Yes, I really do. Sorry to disappoint, but if I won - which is unlikely, since I don’t play - I would be one of those who carried right on working. I’d buy me a nice bakery on the sea front and a house, top up my pension and invest.” He pauses. “Although, if I still had loads of money left over, I might splash out and buy a Ferrari.”
“Well, you have to buy something frivolous,” I say. “That’s your dream, then?”
“Part of it.”
“What’s the rest?”
“Sure you want to know? It’s properly cheesy.”
I smile. “Cheesy is underrated.”
“Agreed.” Zack frowns at the model rake he’s been creating. “All right then: if it was my dream, the place would be a family business. I’d have my wife working alongside me and maybe my sister - if I could afford her - to do the marketing. Then when the kids grew up we could drag them along to help. A real team effort.”
I can see it in my imagination. I passed a place on the sea front with a ‘To Let’ sign just the other day. How nice would it be to work surrounded by your family? Well, maybe not my family, but in one where everyone is equal and pulls together it would be perfect.
“That sounds wonderful, I’d love that.” I look down quickly as I feel myself flush. “That is, it sounds like a wonderful life to have.”
“What about you? If you won the lottery, I mean?”
“I wouldn’t want to be a lady of leisure either. I’ve tried it and it’s not all it’s made out to be. I’d buy a house I could afford to run and put money away for the future and for James’s education. It would just be wonderful to be financially secure.”
Zack frowns. “I didn’t know you had to worry about money. I thought you married it?”
My breath catches in my throat. For one moment, I’d forgotten that he didn’t know.
I twirl my wedding ring around my finger. “I… The truth is, I’m leaving my husband. I’m moving out on Tuesday.”
“Oh.”
We look at each other. I’m suddenly very conscious that my hands are covered in paste and I’m wearing an apron with fluorescent flowers all over it.
“You have a place to go?”
“Yes, I’m going to stay with a friend.” I grip my celstick a little too tightly. “James’s old nanny, actually. For now, at least.”
“Do you need help moving things?”
I open my mouth to refuse, then think better of it. “That would be lovely. There’ll be the cot to put up and we’ll probably have to shift some of the furniture about to make room for it.”
“Just tell me where and when.”
“Thank you.”
We go back to decorating our cake, leaving me all too conscious of things left unsaid.