September 1 at 7.21 PM
From: Audrey <audreywilliams56@mymail.net>
To: Alex Williams
Hello Son
I had a nice surprise last month. Just after your birthday, Zoe wrote to me. It was nice to hear from her after all these months, sad but nice at the same time. We wallow in our own grief sometimes, and forget that other people are hurting too. When your dad died, I missed him desperately. But I had you and Pat, and we all held each other together. But Zoe doesn’t have that in her life and it must be so hard for her.
She’s decided to go travelling. Like you did after your degree. I was a little shocked at the idea, but I can see now how it will help her to move on and heal. It feels odd to say it, but if I could have one wish for Zoe, it would be that she finds someone new to share her life with. I know how much you loved her Alex, and I know you’d want her to have that again. I told her as much. I told her life is for living and sharing and loving, and I told her to get out there and make the most of every moment.
I think what Zoe is doing is incredibly brave and I admire her for it. Because if we don’t move on, well, we wither don’t we. So, I’ve decided that I’m going to move on too. I’m going to stop writing these letters. It’s been a comfort to me in a lot of ways, but I don’t think it’s healthy – it keeps the pain alive and that’s not the part of you I want to hold on to.
I don’t need to write letters to keep you in my heart – you were there before you were born and you’ll be there as long as it keeps beating. So this is it.
Goodbye my beautiful boy.
All my love and all my heart
Mum xx