I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT
“Ray, shoes off the table. Have some respect.”
Ray shoots me a curious glance as I storm through the office. His feet don’t move.
“And, Penny. Change the screensaver back to the corporate logo. A thirty-inch close-up of Vetch’s face is going to scare clients away.”
“Awwww.” Penny’s lips quirk into a smile but I don’t acknowledge the joke.
“Seriously, guys. This is a law office, not a social club.”
Ray snorts from behind his paper. “Who’s being social? I’m reading the news. Pen’s working. You’re the one yammering on.”
Despite the fact he can’t see me, I shoot him a searing glance. “New rules. When a client comes in, we’ll enact Operation Client protocol. This means Ray will sit up and read a magazine and pretend this is not his living room. No lounging. No swearing. No feet on the table. Penny will type. It doesn’t matter if you have anything to type; the sound of fingers hitting keys makes it sound busy. No personal conversations. No calls.”
Penny frowns. “Something the matter?”
“Nothing’s the matter. Do I look like something’s the matter? It’s Monday. We have cases to run and new clients could walk in the door at any moment. How will they know we’re a law office? I don’t have a sign. I don’t have a brand. All we have is the monogrammed stationery and the firm colors. I think we should…”
Ray peers over his newspaper and raises a warning eyebrow. “We should what?”
I rethink my decision to remove his comfy Victorian couch and also my new idea to have everyone wear firm colors. I’ve never seen Ray in anything but commando clothes and commandos don’t wear navy blue. “Never mind.”
“Thought not.”
“What’s this all about?” Penny persists. “I thought you were finally chillaxing about the firm. We were having fun, going to dangerous areas of town, taking on more pro bono files. You gave Ray his couch. I thought you were leaving the big law firm behind for a brave new Amanda Westwood & Sons world.”
Wincing at her all too accurate assessment, I shake my head. “Fact is, Penny, sometimes the old things are best. There was a method behind the Farnsworth & Tillman madness. I understood it. This half Victorian, half modern firm with you two hanging out chatting all day and me never knowing where the next client is going to come from, or what the hell I’m doing, or where the hell I’m going…is not comfortable. I need stability and certainty. I need to get some control over my life.”
“She’s running scared,” Ray mumbles from behind his newspaper.
“I heard that, Ray. I am not scared of anything.”
“Definitely scared.”
“Seriously?” Penny glances over at me. “So, spill. What’s going on?”
Blood rushes through my ears so fast I can barely hear her words. Damn Ray. But until he said the word, it hadn’t occurred to me the unsettling feelings I’ve had all weekend might be…fear.
But what do I have to be afraid of? After we left Redemption, Jake dropped me home because he had to catch an early morning flight to Portland on business. He texted me from the cab, the plane before takeoff, the cab again, and his hotel. Warm texts. Sweet texts. Sexy texts. I dutifully texted him back, relieved I didn’t have to face him. But all the while my stomach roiled and my mind twisted itself in knots. I pushed when I shouldn’t have pushed. And now he’s going to expect something from me in return.
“Nothing.”
Ray snorts from behind his newspaper. “That’s what Pen said to me when I asked what the fuck is up with her. She’s almost bouncing out of that chair.”
For the first time this morning, I take a good look at Penny. Her eyes are sparkling and she is, indeed, bouncing in her chair.
“What’s up?”
She taps on her new Vetch screensaver and makes a lewd pumping motion with her fist, then mouths “tonight.”
Laughter bursts from my chest, a sudden release of the tension I’ve carried with me all weekend. For a moment, I can’t believe this is the same Penny who wears floaty florals and drinks tea.
“Are you sure?” I whisper. “Is he safe?”
“Seriously.” Ray shakes his head. “I’m a fucking PI. You two think I can’t figure out what’s going on over there? Pen’s got a new man. Amanda doesn’t like him. Come on, Pen. Let’s see him.” He motions to the screen with his chin and waggles his finger. “Turn it around. I know he’s there.”
Swallowing hard, Penny turns the screen.
Silence. And then…
“Jesus Christ, lookit that loser. Gimme a different visual.” Penny taps on the keyboard and pulls up a full picture of Vetch and then a couple of the band. Ray’s eyes widen. “Hell. You can do better than that, Pen.”
“He’s the lead singer of the Slugs.” She gives him an affronted stare. “And he’s asked me to come to his hotel tonight for a private dinner.”
“Guy like that’ll use you and send you packing.”
To my great surprise, Penny just shrugs. “That’s fine with me. I haven’t had a good shag for six months, and afterward, I’ll be able to work the street cred of having slept with the lead singer of the Slugs.”
“Slug is right. You’re not goin’. Final.”
Penny frowns. “Sorry?”
“Nothin’ to be sorry about. You’re not going. Done.” Ray drains his cup and slams it on the table then slaps open his newspaper.
Penny gives a thin laugh. “Like you can stop me.”
Ray drops his feet to the floor and leans forward, his voice dropping to a low growl. “I will stop you, Pen. Guy like that sees you as a play toy. Shagging you is the last thing he’ll do. You’re gonna get hurt, sweetheart, and it’s not gonna happen on my watch.”
Penny sucks in a sharp breath. Ray puts his feet back on the table. I cough and suggest we get to work.
“I can take care of myself,” Penny blurts out.
“Girl like you knows nothin’ about guys like him. You’re all sweet innocence, pearl buttons on your blouse, tight little pencil skirts, and fucking sexy shoes. You’re class and he’s an ass. You want to get laid that bad, I’ll take care of you.”
I choke. Penny splutters. Ray casually turns the page.
“You’re offering to sleep with me so I don’t sleep with Vetch?” Penny’s voice rises in pitch.
“Lookin’ the way you do, being sweet as you are, it’s not a sacrifice, sweetheart.”
Penny’s cheeks glow red and her fingers drum on her desk.
“I think in a perverse, twisted kind of way, he’s trying to be nice,” I whisper. “He’s worried about you.”
Penny’s eyes narrow. “Or maybe it’s been a while since he had a shag.”
“Actually.” I raise my voice loud enough for Ray to hear. “I don’t allow interpersonal relationships at my firm. Especially when I only have two employees.”
Ray shoots me a glance “Not an employee. Independent contractor.”
“Well, I’m going.” Penny folds her arms and glares.
“You’re not.” Ray doesn’t even bother to lower the newspaper.
Poor Penny. After suffering through years of failed relationships with her, I totally get why she wants this date. And who am I to stand in her way? Maybe we shouldn’t judge him by the needle tracks on his arms or the pupil-less, drugged-out eyes. Maybe he’s that thin because he has a high metabolism and pale because he’s a vampire and can’t go out in the sun. Who am I to judge? Maybe, like Sandy, he has a good heart.
The front door opens and closes. A process server walks in, this one bald and burly. He looks around and scratches his head. “Sorry to disturb you folks. I’m looking for a law office. Attorney’s name is Amanda Westwood? Don’t suppose you know where it might be?”
“Arrrrrgh.” I glare at Ray and then at Penny before I smooth my face and hold out my hand for what I already know is going to be another life-destroying package from Farnsworth.
After the process server leaves, Ray swings his feet to the floor. “Unfortunate timing.”
“There is no good timing when Farnsworth is involved.” I throw myself onto the couch beside Ray. My blood chills as I flip through page after page after page. “I can’t believe this. He’s making every application in the known universe. It will take me months to address them all, maybe even half a year. Usually attorneys try to drag out a case, but I can see what he’s doing. He’s coming down hard and fast, hoping to scare me off.” I toss the documents on the couch and bury my face in my hands.
“You need help, you just ask.” Ray gives my shoulder a squeeze.
“You know I’m happy to work overtime,” Penny says.
“Thanks.” I choke up before I can tell them it’s not just the time; it’s the money. And Farnsworth must know I don’t have much. Certainly not enough to hire the number of contract attorneys I now know I will need to run this case, and definitely not enough to afford big law fees to hire someone else to run the case. My parents are out of the picture. No way could I borrow more money from Max, and no bank will lend me money with my loan to Max outstanding. What the hell was I thinking? How could I have been so naïve?
Before they can ask any questions, I head toward my office. Once I’m at my desk, I bury my face in my arms, resting my forehead against the cool wood, and take a few deep breaths. My only option is to sell my grandmother’s house. It’s just a house, and really, it’s too big for one person. I’ll be able to keep the furniture my grandmother and I bought together and the special ornaments and furnishings. I’ll have her memories in my heart. And I can use the money to keep the business going, pay Ray and Penny, rent a new apartment, and best of all, see justice done.
Hands shaking, I pick up the phone and call the real estate agent.
An hour passes. I try out different screensavers and different variations of my initials. Then I comb through the Redemption website and pull up a picture of Jake, triumphant after a victory in the cage. He is covered in sweat, bruised, and battered, but he looks beautiful to me. I imagine calling him up and telling him about my house and how much it hurts to sell it. I imagine he puts his arms around me and hugs the pain away. I imagine it so hard I ache inside.
The phone rings and Jake’s name appears on the screen. Speak of the devil.
“Hey, baby.” His deep, rich voice chases away some of my sadness, and a fierce longing grips me hard, frightening me with its intensity.
“Hey, yourself.” I stifle a sigh and try to sound cheery.
“I had a break between meetings and I had a favor to ask,” he says softly. “But…you sound kinda down. Is something wrong?”
My throat seizes, and for a moment I can’t breathe. The words sit on the tip of my tongue. But what would be the point of telling him? He can’t do anything to help me. With a failing business to manage and a fight career to get off the ground, he has enough on his plate. Why add to his stress or to mine?
“No. Just the usual Farnsworth delivery where he tries to hammer home the point I’m just one lawyer and he has a firm full of minions ready and willing to do his bidding.”
“Anything I can do?”
“No, I’m good,” I say quickly, maybe too quickly. “I’ve got it under control.”
Jake sighs and his voice tightens, almost imperceptibly. “You always say that even when it’s not true. Just like you always say you don’t need help when you do.”
His words cut so close, my pain bleeds out. “That’s because the people I’ve been close to have let me down. It’s because I was left on my own so much I learned how to figure things out for myself. It’s easier if I don’t rely on anyone. That way, I’m never disappointed.”
But this is Jake, and he’s not letting me off so easy. “You think you can’t open up. You think you can’t give yourself. But in the last few minutes you’ve told me more about yourself than you ever did in our two months together and I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. Our night in the cage isn’t how I imagined our first night back together would be, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It just makes me want you more, but this time I’ll make love to you the way I imagined the first time I saw you again.”
Warmth spreads through my body, rippling outward to my fingers and toes. “I like the sound of that. When are you back from Portland?”
Jake chuckles. “Late tomorrow night…which is part of the reason I called to ask for your help. Note how I’m asking for help and I’m still breathing.”
“Ha ha. Funny guy. What’s up?”
Jake sighs. “I kinda dropped the ball on that case I brought to you at Farnsworth & Tillman and missed the deadline for filing a response. Now Duel Properties has applied to have a default entered against us. There’s been so much upheaval in our office that I also missed the fact that the hearing is tomorrow afternoon and I’m stuck in Portland until late tomorrow night.”
“You want me to represent you?”
Silence. And then, “Would you…or is there an issue since we…”
I stifle a laugh. “Actually, if you had wanted to retain me before we’d had amazing sex, then yes, it might have been a problem. However, our night of wild monkey sex smoothes the way for me to represent your company if that’s what you want.”
“Wild monkey sex?” The tension from his voice eases into amusement.
“We were in a cage and I was clinging to the fence.”
“Baby?”
“Yeah?
“On second thought, maybe having you involved isn’t such a good idea. If I had to sit with you in the meeting room, going over documents and talking legal talk, while trying not to think about how sexy you look in your tight little suit, not much would get done.”
“Except me…hopefully.”
His voice deepens. “Oh, you would get done. On the table. On the floor. Against the window…”
My cheeks protest the excess laughter. “How about I fax you the documents that will allow me to represent you just for the hearing, and then I’ll send you a list of attorneys I know who could take over the case. I can explain it to the judge. I don’t think it will be a problem.”
“Thanks, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Actually, tomorrow night I’ll be at the legal aid center, but the next day…”
“I’m going to see you tomorrow night,” he says firmly. “No matter where you are.”
***
The next morning I am awakened, not by the dulcet tones of a nightingale or the soft croon of Easy Listening radio, but by a string of cuss words that would made any mother run for a bar of soap, and which end with a shouted question.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Did you sleep in the office?”
Blinking to clear my vision, I struggle to orient myself. Big comfy couch with hideous pattern of birds and flowers, boring blue corporate curtains, dull framed print of blue and gray lines, office reception, me in my work clothes. And Ray fuming above me.
“Morning, Ray. Sorry I’m in your space. I lay down…” I check my watch. “…three hours ago to rest my eyes after going through the tape of the new witness statement Penny and I got last night. Great stuff. And we have more leads to follow up so—”
“Go home and get some sleep.” He points to the door as I push myself into a sitting position.
“I believe I’m the boss.” I fix him with a sleepy glare. “And I have too much work to do to waste time sleeping.”
Lips pressed tight together, he fixes me with his best scowl. Pretty scary stuff. “Is that why you started your own firm? So you could work the way you were working before?”
Holding up my hand as if to ward Ray away, I shake my head. “I don’t have a choice. It’s me against Farnsworth and until my house sells I have to do it all myself.”
I don’t realize my slip until Ray’s eyes narrow. “You’re selling your house?”
My breath catches. “Uh…”
“Dammit, Amanda. Why didn’t you tell us you were in trouble?”
The door opens and I jump up as Penny walks in the door. “It isn’t that bad. And it’s too big for one person anyway.”
After freshening up and emailing Jake the contact details of a few attorney friends I know, I do a little prep and then head into the reception room. “I’m going to the courthouse. Back in a few hours.”
“Hold up.” Ray folds his newspaper and drops his feet to the floor. “I’m coming. Eugene is across the street. Idiot must think I wouldn’t recognize his piece of shit Volvo. Don’t like you going alone with him on your tail. I’ll send him a little warning first, let him know I’m with you. Maybe scare him away.”
He opens the front window and leans out over the sill to make a rude pointing motion at a beaten-up red Volvo parked across the street. Then he does the threatening, mafia, “I see you” gesture, stabbing at his chest, touching his eyes, and then pointing again at the vehicle. Seconds later the vehicle roars away.
“Well, that was effective.”
“Gotta look after my girls. But he’s probably just around the corner, so I’ll stay with you.” Ray ushers me out to his Jeep parked on the side of the road.
“I’m a woman, not a girl.” I wave my hand over my fitted black suit, white button-down shirt, and modestly heeled pumps.
Ray snorts a laugh. “You’re the girliest girl I ever met. Girl like you stirs a man’s most basic protective instincts. Man like me, more. Protection. Done. Ass. Jeep. Now.”
Once we are inside the courthouse, Ray goes commando for real. He literally sweeps people from my path as we walk to the courtroom and insists we only walk down hallways he has pronounced “clear.” No other attorney has a commando-cum-PI bodyguard, and we attract a lot of unwanted attention.
When we finally reach the courtroom, I spot Evil Reid in the hallway with an entourage of slaves…er, interns behind him. Oh God. Of all the people I did not want to accidentally meet. I briefly toy with the idea of telling Ray he has a grenade in his briefcase, but I don’t want to waste any time.
Ray offers to take my document boxes into the courtroom, and I try to fly under Evil Reid’s radar by hiding behind a potted palm on the pretense of looking out the window.
Unfortunately, the eagle-eyed Evil Reid sees through my palm fronds.
“Westwood! What a surprise. Don’t tell me you’ve come looking to settle our case already? Did our little delivery on Friday scare you? That was my idea, by the way. Go big or go home, like you always said. So I went big.”
Mouth dry, stomach churning at the thought of years of litigation with both Evil Reid and Farnsworth on the other side, I feign a laugh. “Didn’t you have enough work of your own? Did you have to ask Farnsworth to help you make up the billable hours?”
Evil Reid’s eyes narrow and he closes the distance between us until my personal space is filled with the foul odor of Drakkar Noir and bacon bits.
“Maybe you don’t realize what it means for me to be on the file. It means I now have access to all the documents. And that means I know everything about you, Westwood. Everything. And you know what I’m wondering after reading your file? I’m wondering…where’s mine?
I suck in a sharp breath and take an involuntary step back. He’s read the blue file. Evil Reid has read the file. But that’s not the worst of it. Stiffening my spine, I spit out, “Are you threatening me? Because if you’re threatening me, you’d better—”
“Back off, Cravath.” Ray steps between us, returning just in the nick of time to save Evil Reid from my new Redemption fight moves.
Evil Reid frowns. “Ray? What are you doing here? I heard you’d quit the firm and…” He cuts himself short and looks from Ray to me and back to Ray. “You’re working for her?” His voice rises and his lips curl. “You’re fucking working for her now? Talk about a breach of confidentiality. You are so going down. I’ll have your ass hauled up—”
Ray growls low in his chest. “I do not break my word. I signed the confidentiality agreement; I abide by the terms. But if you plan on doing what I think you’re planning on doing, you will have me breathing down your neck for the rest of your miserable life.”
“Call off your dog, Westwood,” Evil Reid snarls. “We’re in a courthouse. Maybe you’ve forgotten basic court decorum since you started slumming it in Hippie Land.”
My hand curls into a fist. I imagine I am Shilla the Killa and Evil Reid has just landed a hard right to my jaw. Bam. Bam. I hit him in the stomach and when he doubles over, I go for a knee to the nose. I imagine a slow motion clip of blood flying across the hallway and splattering on the canvas print of the Golden Gate Bridge as he staggers into his stable of minions. Jake would be proud.
“Not worth it,” Ray says quietly, as if he knows what I’m thinking. But then, he’s Ray, so I expect he does.
Shaking off the daydream, I turn my back on Evil Reid and walk away.
“You’re going down, Westwood,” Evil Reid calls after me and then he chuckles and lowers his voice, “and not just in court.”
***
The hearing goes smoothly, and two hours later, I am back in my office and poring through Farnsworth’s documents again when Penny interrupts me.
“You’re due down at the community legal aid clinic in an hour.”
My heart sinks as I look over the pile of paper on my desk. “Ahhh…maybe you should call and cancel.”
A pained expression crosses Penny’s face and she shakes her head. “Too late. The cab is waiting outside. You missed one session. I won’t let you miss another. You love going there and the clients love you. Not only that, they’re depending on you. They don’t have anyone else. Don’t let them down.”
I drop my pen and push back my chair. “Penny?”
She grimaces and lifts a questioning eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
At seven p.m., I am at the Bay Area Community Center where I share legal aid duties with five other attorneys. Although I know I should find some paying clients, over the next three hours, I take on five new pro bono cases for people in desperate need of legal assistance. As the clinic winds to a close, the clinic coordinator, a social worker and an old friend, shakes his head and tells me my heart is too soft. I tell him if my heart were soft, I would be at the airport right now, waiting for a hard-bodied, blue-eyed fighter with unkempt blond hair. He tells me I don’t have to worry about going to the airport, because my fighter is waiting at my table.
My heart thuds wildly against my ribs and I slowly turn around.
There he is.
Damn, he looks good. The slight sheen of his tailored gray suit subtly reflects the light giving him an almost ethereal glow. His shirt is crisp white, his tie red silk. And yet the civilized veneer cannot hide the strength and power of his muscular body.
“So…what can I do for you this evening?” I take a seat on the other side of the table I use as a desk and fold my hands on my notepad so he doesn’t see them tremble.
“Caught an earlier flight ’cause I wanted to see my girl.”
“Here she is.” Like a love-struck teenager, I can’t stop staring at him and smiling a goofy smile. He came back early. For me. And he’s here. HE’S HERE!
Jake places a cooler on the table and shoves it toward me. “Since you have a habit of forgetting to eat, I assumed you didn’t have dinner, so I brought us a snack.”
“Us?”
“Us.” He reaches around the cooler and gives my hand a squeeze. “We’re having dinner together. You aren’t working tonight.”
“Um…”
Jake shakes his head. “Not an option.”
I vacillate for all of ten seconds. “’kay.”
“I made it myself,” he says proudly, tapping the top of the cooler. “Whipped it up after I got home from the airport.”
Curiosity gets the better of me and I stand and tug off the lid. Inside, I find two large plastic containers, two forks, two napkins, and two protein shakes. “What’s in the containers?”
Jake beams. “A gourmet feast. Mac ’n’ cheese with hot dogs! Carbs, Amanda. We’re having carbs.”
Never have I been so torn between laughter and tears. Oh God. So sweet. But seriously, who considers mac ’n’ cheese a gourmet feast?
“I’m sure it will be delicious. And protein shakes…you really know how to treat a girl.”
Completely missing the irony, Jake nods. “I do. They have twenty-five grams of satiating protein to help maintain lean body mass, no added sugars, and I got chocolate because it’s better at masking the taste of whey.”
“Mmmmm.”
“You done here?” He looks behind him, but the last client is with one of the other attorneys and everyone else is packing up.
“Yeah.”
Jake frowns. “Baby?”
I raise my eyebrows.
“Not used to you being so quiet.”
“To be honest, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.” I shove my papers into my briefcase and pretend not to see the clinic coordinator watching us with avid interest.
Jake grabs the cooler and leans over to kiss my cheek. “I promise by the end of the night, you’ll be feeling something else.”
My body heats in an instant. “Jake Donovan, I hope you didn’t make dinner just to lure me into your bed, because I might be tempted to skip a meal and move straight to dessert.”
He gives me a wicked smile. “You are dessert.”