The strange intervention had gotten the attention of the other guard, and I braced for a fight. Then they both nodded with calm expressions. Neither seemed inclined to question the outrageous possibility that an apparent nobleman had come to the Slave Gate to fetch his servants. “Of course, Lord Ryder. Apologies for the delay. Move along, you three.”
Ambrose strutted off and we followed meekly behind. None of us dared ask the wizard where he’d come from. We hadn’t had time to explain to Sondra how thoroughly Ambrose had disappeared in the aftermath of the battle at Cradysica, so she went along with the subterfuge easily enough. And Agatha, well, she seemed practiced at playacting.
I tried to keep quiet, and did until we had passed the township, heading up the road to where we’d left the rowboat. Then I couldn’t stand it any longer. I stepped up my pace to Ambrose’s side. “Holy fucking Sawehl, Ambrose! Where have you been?”
“I was otherwise occupied.”
“Doing what?”
He slid me a look. “Temper, Conrí. It’s a very long story. Do you really want to hear it now, or would you prefer I concentrate on making sure we escape?”
Cursing under my breath, I dropped back, taking up the part of dutiful manservant again. Sondra raised a questioning brow at me, but I shook my head and she subsided. It turned out to be a lovely morning, which got prettier the farther we walked from the citadel, the countryside of Yekpehr growing lush and well tended away from the jagged rocks of the point the citadel sat on.
I studied everything, laying it down in my memory so I could come back and retrace my steps once I gave Lia over to Kara’s reliable care. That distracted me from dwelling on how I carried Lia’s dead body. And that I might as well have killed the Queen of Flowers with my own hands.
My doom, to destroy every last thing of beauty and worth in the world. Anure and I were much alike, as it turned out. All I could do was understand that, and use it to kill him.
The sun had grown warm and high by the time we made it to the rowboat, where we’d hidden it under some driftwood on the beach. A flimsy and fanciful thing that matched the yacht, it would barely hold the four of them, no matter how light Lia’s body. No surprise, Kara hadn’t left, though it was well past the time I’d told him to leave us for dead. Stubborn fool. The Last Resort glittered at anchor offshore, where the fancy ship would surely draw attention soon. I wanted to curse Kara for the risk, and also kneel in gratitude that he’d stayed.
But he and I had already said our goodbyes.
I set down the sack with the vurgsten bomb, laid Lia’s body in one corner of the boat, then helped Agatha in. Sondra steadied Ambrose, who settled himself next to the sack holding Lia. He hadn’t asked, so I figured the wizard knew what had happened to her. Sondra helped me push the boat into the water. She hopped in, the thing sinking ominously low. Sondra held out a hand, but I shook my head, giving them another push.
“Conrí!” Sondra called in hushed, hoarse tones.
“I’m going back to finish this,” I told her, shouldering the sack with the bomb, my own throat unexpectedly tight. “Goodbye. Take care of Lia.”
“Get in the boat, Conrí,” Ambrose said genially enough, but eyes emerald bright.
“It will sink.” I pushed again, but the little boat didn’t budge that time, the currents swirling around it in circles that looked all wrong.
“No, it won’t,” he corrected, as if speaking to a slow student. “Get in.”
“I’m going back,” I repeated, “to kill the toad.”
Ambrose fixed me with that penetrating gaze. “You deserted Queen Euthalia once for your revenge. Will you repeat your mistake?”
“Lia is dead.” I meant to say it flatly, but my voice took on a creaking hollow sound, sobs threatening to crack my chest. Vesno’s howl came across the water, echoing me. I shoved futilely at the boat, ducking my head so they wouldn’t see the fearsome Slave King weep like a child.
“We don’t have time for your dramatics,” Ambrose snapped. “Get in the boat now, or we’re all in serious trouble.”
“Conrí,” Sondra said, her face ashen. “Please.”
“No.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “I’m here. I can get inside the citadel. There won’t be another opportunity like this.”
“Just like there wasn’t another opportunity like we had at Cradysica?” Sondra bit out. “I love you, Conrí, and I’ll follow you to the end of the world, but you and I were wrong there. And Her Highness paid the price.”
“Exactly. I got Lia killed. I failed you all. I have Agatha’s weapon.” I nodded at her. “This way I don’t have to worry about the delay on the trigger.”
“It will kill you,” Agatha said flatly.
“I know.” I looked forward to it.
“Conrí.” Sondra gasped my name. “Don’t do it. We’ll find another way. There are things still to live for.”
I shook my head. She wouldn’t understand that a world without Lia had lost all its color. Even the driving need for vengeance had vanished. I was already the walking dead. “The least, last thing I can do is go back and take Anure out.”
“The least you can do,” Ambrose declared, “is get in this boat. Please join us, Conrí.”
Before I realized it, I’d heaved myself over the side of the little boat, feeling the flimsy craft shudder under my weight. Ambrose returned my glare. He’d magicked me. Wonderful. “Happy now?” I ground out.
“I will be when you start rowing,” Ambrose said, much more cheerfully. “I’m the talent, not the brawn.”
So I rowed. Which didn’t take much work, as the boat that should’ve sunk an arm’s length from shore not only floated just fine, but glided straight for the Last Resort at a remarkable clip. Ambrose, seated in the stern, hands wrapped around the jeweled staff between his knees, watched me row. Sondra held her walking stick in both hands, vigilant gaze scanning the shore, the ragged tufts of blond hair glistening in the morning light, while Agatha huddled to the side, making herself as small as possible.
“That’s quite the artifact you’ve acquired,” Ambrose said to Sondra, keen gaze on the walking stick.
She barely glanced at him. “It’s not much, but I didn’t have anything else, so I grabbed this.”
“Ah. Grabbing things from wizards can result in surprises,” Ambrose noted cheerfully.
Now she reacted, looking at it like she might be holding a snake. “What—is it dangerous?”
“Not to you, child,” Ambrose soothed her. “Though I know of a certain red wizard who will be most put out to have lost it.”
Sondra opened her mouth, but caught sight of something that made her go alert. “Company.” With my face also to the shore, I kept an eye on the mounted Imperial Guards galloping along the shore path. They never glanced our way, continuing up the coast.
Ambrose gave me a little smile. “I am a wizard,” he reminded us. “I can distort what people do and don’t see.”
“Except when our invisible ship was perfectly visible to the Calantheans,” I grumbled.
“You’ll never let that go, will you?” Ambrose patted the burlap sack with Lia’s body in it. “I explained that the laws of magic and the natural world aren’t the same when Her Highness is around.”
“Don’t touch her,” I growled, wanting to lunge at him. “And it’s was. She’s gone.”
“Is, was.” Ambrose waved a hand. “Language applies tenses in black-and-white lines where time flows in grayscale.”
“We’re there,” Sondra broke in, giving me a warning look.
Vesno’s howls had become excited barks, and we immersed ourselves in the business of getting Lia’s body aboard, the skiff reloaded, and the Last Resort under way. Any thoughts I’d had of rowing myself back were thwarted by Ambrose. When I gathered up the sack with Lia in it, intent on storing it below in one of the many unused cabins, Ambrose stood in my way.
“Where do you think you’re taking Her Highness?” He didn’t wait for my answer, but pointed to a lavish couch under a silk awning near the front of the yacht. “Put Her there, in the sunlight. And for Ejarat’s sake, take Her out of that tacky burlap sack already. Ah, Lady Ibolya, your services are required.”
If I hadn’t held Lia’s corpse in my arms, lax and wilted, I would have throttled him. Instead I put the sack on the couch he indicated. Sondra helped me, extracting Lia’s body from the rough material with a gentleness I didn’t think I’d ever seen from her. Ibolya asked no questions, arranging Lia’s limbs so the remaining hand covered the space of the missing one. The dead orchid clung to her skin, as bruised and limp as Lia, both of them decaying.
“She was so brave,” Sondra said to me, hoarse voice quiet, as we watched Ibolya gently bathe Lia’s body with a damp cloth. “Courageous. Even after everything they did to Her. I understand now why you fell in love with Her.”
“Kara is making full speed for Calanthe,” Ambrose informed us, walking up. “With luck and a bit of nudging, we should make Her waters before sunset. Not a lot of extra time, but enough.”
“It hardly matters what time we get there,” I commented dully. With the urgency of rescue and escape fading, the strength left my body, too. My legs gave way of their own accord, and I sat heavily on the deck, my back against the sofa abutting the one Lia lay on. Vesno wormed his way around a low table to stretch out beside me, head on my lap, gaze fixed on Lia’s body. Ibolya ignored us all, tending her queen’s body, humming a quiet song.
“Of course it matters,” Ambrose chided. “What time yesterday did you feel Her die?”
I glanced up sharply. Sondra and Agatha gave me strange looks. Deciding not to bother asking how the wizard knew, I admitted, “About four hours before midnight.”
Ambrose nodded in satisfaction. “I thought so, but I needed to be sure. These things aren’t always easy to pinpoint from a distance.”
“You knew Her Highness was dead before we even went ashore?” Agatha asked.
“I felt it, yes,” I said. “I apologize that I didn’t tell you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I met her gaze evenly, letting her see the ruthless bastard I was. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want to take the risk.”
She nodded to herself, looking thoughtful.
“I’d say it was wrong of me, but I’d do it again.”
“Not wrong, but you should have trusted me, Conrí.”
“I see that now. But I also thought I’d be staying behind.” I gave Ambrose an accusing look, which he returned with a cheerful smile.
“Just as well, eh?” He glanced at the sun and back at Lia. “You both would’ve been unhappy if you hadn’t been here when Her Highness wakes.”
I stilled, unable to bear the pain of the sudden hope and crushing certainty of grief.
“That’s not funny, Ambrose,” Sondra growled, grasping her walking stick.
“I don’t mean to be,” he replied in all seriousness. “If we can get Her Highness back to Calanthe’s waters in time, I can bring Her back.”
“You told me there’s no bringing back the dead,” I grated out.
“Why, Conrí! You were listening. Honestly I can never be sure.” Ambrose beamed at me, then tipped his staff in my direction. “However, your listening skills could use improvement. I said that with people who’ve been dead a long time, it almost never works out well. That’s not at all what we’re dealing with here. Her Highness hasn’t been dead for a full cycle of Sawehl’s journey around Ejarat, and our beloved queen isn’t fully human, as you well know.”
Sondra and I exchanged a long look, her face showing the same contorted longing I felt. When you’ve resigned yourself to the worst, hoping for anything else can be agonizing.
“Are you saying she’s not actually dead?” I asked carefully.
“The concept of death is another of those lines we draw that we pretend is a finite threshold, but is truly more of a spectrum. There’s a fascinating treatise on the topic that…” Ambrose trailed off, smile dimming at whatever he saw in my face. “Something to discuss another time. I believe the answer you’re looking for is, yes, Her Highness is dead, but She’s not so far along that we can’t pull Her back. Speaking of, you did get Her hand, didn’t you?”
I glanced at Sondra.
“Yes, Conrí insisted.” With an odd expression, she dug in her bag and pulled out the wrapped hand we’d taken from the wizards’ laboratory.
“Excellent.” Ambrose beamed at us. “Everything is falling into place.”
“Are you going to reattach Her hand, and finger?” Sondra inquired blandly, making me grateful she’d asked the question I couldn’t. I still didn’t know how to think or feel. It was all I could do to sit there and not fall apart.
“Good Ejarat, no! Conrí will need them.”
I stared at him, unable to muster any kind of reply.
Ambrose shook his head for my denseness. “At least you remembered what I told you. Claim the hand that wears the Abiding Ring.” He pointed at the wrapped, gruesome package. “And so you did.”
“That severed hand wore the Abiding Ring,” I said, my voice sounding as dangerous as I felt. Caged wolf.
“Really—you’re going to parse verb tenses again, and now with a prophecy. Humans. So nitpicky about past and future. Someday I’ll learn.”
“Then, we wait,” Sondra finally said, when no one else spoke.
“Waiting and sailing, yes,” Ambrose agreed.
“Where is Merle?” Sondra asked, looking around. That’s right, I hadn’t seen him at all.
“Oh, he’s busy.”
“Busy doing what?” Sondra frowned.
“Making sure there’s a Calanthe for us to return to. Let’s hope he’s successful. We thought about having him come after you all, and me stay behind, but the whole lack of thumbs and human speech becomes a problem. You understand.”
Sondra and I exchanged a look. “No,” she said. “We don’t.”
“Ah, well. And now I must concentrate.” He wandered off.
I sat there on the deck and rested without sleeping, half listening to Ibolya’s wordless song. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept for more than a short nap, and the lack of sleep gave everything a surreal quality. The glittering yacht, the scent of sea spray, the cloudless blue sky with a hint of oily smoke coiling in the distance from the burning citadel, Lia’s dead body that maybe wasn’t entirely dead lying in state while Ibolya tenderly cared for her. Vesno held vigil with me, the faithful companion Lia had promised he’d be.
Steadying my hand, I stroked Vesno’s silky head. The wolfhound flicked his brown eyes to me, then once again trained them on Lia.
It might all be a dream, like those nightmares of my father’s death, and I’d wake from the fragments of believing Lia lived and have to face that crashing awareness that I’d lost her all over again. Sondra went to bathe and came back in her favorite fighting gear that we’d brought along for her. She sat with me awhile, tried to get me to eat, then left again. Ibolya finished cleaning up the blood and other marks of the torture Lia had endured, as best she could, and she sat nearby, holding vigil also.
Kara came by, and reported on progress. He laid a dark hand on Lia’s forehead and murmured some prayer I didn’t know, before departing as quietly as he’d arrived.
And we sailed on.
I might’ve slept, because Vesno’s stirring startled me. He lifted his head abruptly, then let out a long howl, reminiscent of wolves at night, calling to one another under the moon. Ambrose appeared as if from nowhere—for all I knew, he had—wearing his robes as court wizard of Calanthe. He smiled at me, eyes alight. “Calanthe.”
Coming fully alert, I looked to Lia. She seemed the same. If anything, her skin had sunk more over her fine bones, her closed eyes dark pits in her delicate skull. Ibolya watched her queen, tremulous hope in her eyes. She hadn’t said anything to us, but I felt sure she’d heard every word.
Ambrose slowly spun his staff, the lowering sun catching the faceted emerald atop it, shards of brilliant green flashing. I recalled how I’d described the color of Lia’s one eye as like that. “Call her,” Ambrose murmured.
“What?”
“Call her. Give her a kiss. She needs something to follow back to this body.”
Aware that the others had gathered round, I knelt up. Vesno moved with me, laying his chin on Lia’s lap, eyes still fixed on her face.
“Lia, my love,” I said, stroking my hand over her scalp, the soft, crisped and wilted growth there tickling my fingers. “Come back, Lia.” Bending over her, I pressed a kiss to her lips. Not cold, not in this heat, but not warm, either. And waxy, lifeless. A shudder ran through me, not of horror, but the final shattering of hope. I shouldn’t have allowed that seedling to take root. This final loss would break me and I’d collapse, without even touching Anure.
I might as well have stayed in the mines.
Sondra put a hand on my shoulder, then Kara, too, on my other side. Ibolya hummed her song. The emerald shards caught the lowering light, dancing in a circle and bouncing against the blue sea.
“Lia. I love you. Come back, please. Calanthe needs you. I need you.” I kissed her again, remembering how she’d felt in life, so vivid and shining, her mischievous humor and simmering passion. The way she smelled of green life, her courage and determination. And flowers, how she felt and smelled of the lushest blossom.
Her lips moved under mine, breath flowing cool as dark earth. I lifted my head, half in terror, half in wonder. And she opened her eyes. One blue, one green.