It was after ten o’ clock when Lily and the children arrived back at Leeds City Station. The square and the surrounding streets were almost pitch black, with little light that night from the moon and stars, but she had her torch to help her to find her way to the bus stop. Jimmy was asleep, his head lolling sideways in his pushchair, but Joanie was trotting along stoically at her mother’s side, indefatigable, it seemed, on this exciting day.
It was eerie to travel on a bus at night. There was only a tiny blue light to illuminate the interior and the headlamps were partially covered with masks. An unnecessary restriction, in fact it was a load of ‘red tape’, was the view of many people. Almost four months into the war there was still no sign of enemy planes or bombs falling from the skies. It was strange, too, to be given your ticket by a young woman conductress, doing the job of a man who had gone to serve in the war.
‘We’re nearly home now,’ said Lily to the children as they alighted from the bus. The conductress helped with the pram, as she had when they boarded, and Lily popped a still very drowsy Jimmy inside. ‘Not much further, just along this street and round the corner…’
She was beginning to feel sick with dread at the thought of going into the house. Supposing Sid had meant what he said and he threw her out again? No; he couldn’t do that, not with the two kiddies. It was turned half-past ten. He would, no doubt, have returned from the pub; they had closed earlier since the start of the war. But with a bit of luck he might have gone to bed.
There was no way of telling from the outside of the house whether or not he was still downstairs, because the blackout curtains did not allow even a chink of light to escape. She took out her key and opened the door, humping the pram, with Jimmy still in it, over the step. Her heart sank when she saw there was a light on in the living room. Quickly she closed the front door and took a deep breath, steadying herself to face her husband in whatsoever mood she might find him. She lifted Jimmy from the pushchair and then, holding him by the hand and with Joanie hanging on to her coat, she entered the room.
She blinked with amazement, then gave a gasp of shock and disbelief. A strange woman was sitting in one of the easy chairs, the one that Lily usually sat in when she had time to spare. A young woman, with brassy blonde hair in sausage curls all over her head, cherry red lips and pink cheeks like a painted doll, and wearing a bright blue jumper that clung tightly to the generous curves of her bosom. Lily was in little doubt as to who this person was, but she would not have imagined that even Sid would have had the nerve to invite her to his home. Nevertheless, the question came automatically to her lips.
‘And who are you?’ she asked. The woman met her questioning stare with a look that was unafraid, although she then looked across at Sid, seated in the other chair, for him to answer.
He was grinning with malicious delight. ‘This young lady is Moira. She’s a friend of mine; a very good friend, an’ she’s come to spend Christmas with me, ’aven’t yer, luv? An’ she can stay a good while longer an’ all, for ever, if she’s a mind. An’ you don’t need to bother yerself about where she’s sleepin’, ’cause she’s sharin’ my bed, aren’t yer, Moira, me darlin’?’ Lily, for the moment, was too flabbergasted to speak. She just gaped at Sid as he went on speaking.
‘Oh, I’m forgetting me manners, aren’t I? This ’ere is me wife, Lily.’ He gave a sneering laugh. ‘An’ these two are me nippers. Say hello, you two, to the nice lady.’
Joanie and Jimmy just stared uncomprehendingly, and Lily, still at a loss for words, noticed for the first time that Percy was at the back of the room, an evil grin on his podgy face as he watched her discomfiture. Moira had not spoken so far, but now she managed a few words.
‘Hello…’ she faltered. ‘Sid invited me… But he told me that you were…’
‘Aye, I told her that you’d buggered off to see yer darlin’ daughter and you wouldn’t be comin’ back. I told you this morning to sling yer hook, didn’t I?’
‘But…I didn’t think you meant it, Sid. You’ve said that before, but you always changed yer mind.’
‘Well, I meant it this time, didn’t I? I’ve got meself fixed up very nicely with Moira here. You and me’s finished. We ’ave been for ages, so I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing here.’
‘But…this is my home, and…and it’s where the children live…’
‘Not any more it ain’t. Bugger off and take ’em with yer. Get off back to yer precious Nellie…’
‘Sid, stop it!’ It was Moira who intervened. She was looking a little worried at the turn of events. ‘You can’t just turn ’er out in t’ middle o’ t’ night. Let her stay… There’s been a mistake…’
At these words Lily at last saw red. She realised she was not dismayed or scared any longer by what had happened; she was just blazing mad, more furious than she had ever been in her life.
‘You’re damned right there’s been some mistake,’ she yelled at Sid, and ignoring the woman. ‘How dare you move yer fancy piece into my home. This is my home,’ she repeated, emphasising the last two words. ‘It was mine and my family’s long before it was yours. And this…lady…has the cheek to say “Let her stay”. Let me stay, indeed, in my own home! Well, I can tell you that I won’t be staying, not a minute longer than I have to… Come on, you two. It’s long past your bedtime…’ She hurried the children out of the room and up the stairs.
‘What’s wrong, Mummy?’ asked Joanie.
‘Who’s that lady?’ asked Jimmy.
‘Don’t worry yerselves about all that now,’ said Lily. Quickly she put them into their pyjamas and bundled them into bed. ‘Night night, sleep tight…’ She kissed them both, knowing they were both too tired to be worried by the trauma surrounding them.
She still had her coat on, and when she had settled the children she hurried off to the house next door, the home of Fred and Kate Smedley. Luckily, they had still not gone to bed. Kate answered the door somewhat timorously at Lily’s frenzied knocking.
‘Good gracious, Lily; whatever’s up? There’s nowt wrong with your Maisie, is there?’
‘No, thank God,’ replied Lily. ‘No, it’s ’im, Sid. Youll never guess what he’s done. He’s only gone and moved his fancy piece in. Some painted hussy called Moira…’
She saw Kate and Fred exchanging uneasy glances. ‘You knew, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Sit yerself down, luv,’ said Fred, and Lily collapsed gratefully on to an easy chair. ‘Aye, I knew he had another woman, like. I told Kate about it. But I didn’t know as how he’d moved her in. What a bloody nerve! Moira Higginbottom, she’s called. She’s a barmaid at the Rose and Crown.’
‘I’m real sorry,’ said Kate. ‘Aye, I knew, but there didn’t seem to be much point in telling yer. But what a cheek he’s got! Of all the things!’
‘She was there when I got back from seeing our Maisie, sitting there as bold as brass,’ said Lily. ‘To be fair, I think he’d told her that I’d left and I wouldn’t be coming back…but he must have known that weren’t true.’
‘But the thing is, what are you going to do now?’ asked Kate. ‘You can stay here tonight if you like, can’t she, Fred? And what about the kiddies?’
‘They’re fast asleep in their own beds,’ said Lily, smiling a little. ‘And that’s where I shall sleep tonight, if I manage to sleep at all, in the bed in their room. Sid and me haven’t shared a bed for ages, but I think you know that. But I’m only staying there tonight. I’ll not stay where I’m not wanted, not for one minute longer than I have to. First thing in t’ morning the kids and me’ll be off back to Middlebeck.’
‘D’you think you’ll be able to find somewhere to stay up there?’ asked Kate.
‘I know I will,’ said Lily. ‘In fact…do you know…all this that has happened, it seems like an answer to a prayer.’ She had only just thought of it like that, but now it seemed as though it was meant to be. It was the miracle she had been waiting for. A rather strange one maybe, but it meant that, at last, she would be able to escape from her disastrous marriage.
When she returned to the house next door – she could no longer think of it as home – the place was in darkness, Sid and his ‘floosie’ and Percy having retired for the night. She hoped it might be the last she would see of them for a very long time or, indeed, for ever, if everything worked out according to plan; a plan that she was desperately trying to formulate in her mind.
She reached up to the top of the wardrobe and pulled down the large suitcase which had not been used for ages, and then, by the dim light from her torch, she began to pack hers and the children’s clothes inside it, as many as it would hold. She intended to set off in the early morning, before anyone else arose, if possible. She would make her way to the station and catch the earliest train she could, back to Middlebeck. But how would she manage, she wondered, with a huge suitcase, a pushchair and two young children? Don’t be so spineless, Lily! she admonished herself; there would surely be somone to help her, both on the bus and on the train. One good thing about these wartime days was the way that complete strangers were trying to help one another. And quickly upon that thought came another; ought she to let Patience know she was arriving, and what time? If she didn’t, then there would be no one to meet them when they arrived in Middlebeck. And what about Edith and Alf and the little presents that Audrey had sent for them? Audrey was relying on her and this was a trust she could not break, whatever the circumstances. She tossed and turned in her bed for ages, her mind in a turmoil; then at last, in the early hours, sleep overcame her.
She had set her alarm clock for six o’ clock, and with the coming of the dawn her thoughts had assembled themselves into a more coherent pattern. Before waking the children she made a pile of sandwiches to eat on the journey. Fortunately there was a loaf that was not too stale and a remnant of cheese in the larder. She did not feel the slightest guilt in using the whole of it, then she spread the remainder of the bread she had sliced with margarine and strawberry jam. There would be no time to stop and eat breakfast; besides she did not want to set eyes on Sid and the others. Her idea was to get moving before anyone else was stirring; Sid and Percy were sluggards anyway, especially when it came to getting up in the morning.
She quickly washed and dressed herself, then she roused the children, giving them both a quick wash – a lick and a promise – at the kitchen sink before dressing them and making sure they had used the lavatory at the end of the yard. Thank goodness Jimmy was no longer in nappies, she thought; that was one less problem she had to face.
‘Where’re we goin’, Mummy?’ asked Joanie, as Lily bundled them both into their coats. ‘Are we running away? Dad was mad at us, wasn’t he?’
‘Not with you, love; only with me…’
‘Who was that lady? What’s she doing in our ’ouse?’
‘She’s just a friend of Daddy’s…’
‘It’s dark,’ said Jimmy. ‘Why are we going out in t’ dark?’
‘Are we running away?’ asked Joanie again.
‘Not really,’ said Lily. ‘Hush now…Try to be real quiet.’ She put her finger to her lips. ‘We’re going on a train again – that’s exciting, isn’t it? – and then we’re going to stay with Maisie and that kind man and lady for a little while, perhaps longer…I hope so anyway. But first we’ve got to go and see Audrey’s mum and dad.’
Stealthily she opened the front door and lifted the pushchair out on to the pavement, balancing the big suitcase on the seat. ‘You’ll have to walk, Jimmy,’ she whispered. ‘Anyroad, you’re a big boy now, aren’t you? And Joanie, you watch that the case doesn’t topple over…’
With scarcely a sound – it was amazing how quiet the children were being – she pulled the front door shut, then they hurried away through the dark streets. Lily was terrified lest she should hear a voice behind her, shouting for her to go back. But…no; she was certain that Sid, this time, had meant what he said. It was doubtful, too, that he would be awake yet, although that woman, Moira, might well be. Lily had heard a faint stirring as she passed the bedroom door, and a cough which was certainly not Sid’s catarrhal wheeze. And Moira, she was sure, would say nothing at all if she had heard the hasty departure.
She knew it was early to be calling on anyone, but she guessed that Alf Dennison might be up and about and would not mind their premature visit.
‘Lily… Whatever are you doing out at this time?’ he exclaimed on opening the door. Then his eyes alighted on the suitcase. ‘Oh…I see. There’s something wrong, isn’t there? Come on in, and tell us all about it.’
Even though it was only just turned seven o’clock, Alf was dressed, and Edith, on hearing voices, soon appeared in her red woollen dressing gown. Her nose looked red raw from her cold, but Lily noticed that her eyes were brighter than they had been two days ago. Alf put a match to the fire, which was already laid, and then they sat down and listened intently, but with alarm growing on their faces, as Lily told them what had happened.
‘Well, we’re real glad you had the sense to come here first,’ said Alf. ‘And you’re not going anywhere until you’ve had something to eat. I was just going to make us some tea and toast, so now I’ll make enough for five of us.’ He beamed at the children. ‘I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you?’
Jimmy nodded. ‘And I’m cold an’ all,’ said Joanie.
‘The fire’ll soon get going,’ said Alf. ‘Go and sit on the rug and get warm… And while we’re eating our breakfast we’ll decide what’s the best thing to do. Just leave it to me…’
‘You’re very kind,’ said Lily, her eyes pricking with tears. ‘I’m sorry to be such a nuisance.’
‘Nuisance? You’re not a nuisance,’ retorted Edith. ‘Is she Alf? Of course you’re not. And we’ll do everything we can to help you. That’s what friends are for. You leave it to Alf; he’ll know what to do.’ She lowered her voice so that the children would not hear. ‘You’re doing the right thing, Lily, getting away from that brute of a husband of yours.’
Lily was relieved to let somone else take charge for a while. Alf was used to coping with problems at work and he took this dilemma in his stride.
‘We’ll send a telegram,’ he said, ‘as soon as the post office opens, to tell the Reverend gentleman and his wife what time you will be arriving in Middlebeck. Edith has told me what kind people they are; they’ll take care of you and the kiddies, Lily.’ He scratched his head thoughtfully. ‘Oh aye; we’ll have to find out the times of the trains first, won’t we? And then I’ll run you to the station in my car.’
‘That sounds grand,’ said Lily. ‘You’re so kind… But what about the petrol ration? You’re not supposed to use cars, are you, only when you have to?’
‘And what’s this if it’s not an emergency?’ said Alf. ‘Shut up, woman!’ He grinned at Lily. ‘That’s what I say to Edith, isn’t it, love? when she tries to argue with me. An’ I’ll not listen to any arguments now. You can’t manage on yer own, not with a pram and two kiddies and all that luggage. Now then, just you relax while I see to everything. You don’t need to be getting a train at crack o’ dawn. Your husband won’t come here looking for you, will he?’
‘No…’ said Lily. ‘He won’t know I’ve come here, and I don’t think he’ll bother to look for me at all. But I’ll feel safer when we’ve got right away from Leeds.’
Lily relaxed and enjoyed the toast spread with butter and Edith’s home made blackberry jam, and so did Joanie and Jimmy. She drank two cups of the good strong tea and felt the spirit flow back into her. ‘I really called to bring you these,’ she said. ‘Some bits and pieces that your Audrey made at school, and here’s some presents she bought for the pair of you.’
‘Aw, bless her!’ said Edith. ‘That’s lovely… Was she very disappointed that we didn’t go to see her?’
‘She was a bit upset, of course,’ said Lily, tactfully. ‘But I told her as how you’d go just as soon as you could, once Christmas is over… You’re feeling better now, are you, Edith?’
‘So so…’ replied Edith. ‘My cold’s on the mend, I’m glad to say. I’m not coughing and sneezing as much. It’s just this blessed tiredness that comes over me. Alf tells me to stay in bed, but I can’t. I’ve not been used to it. You die in bed, that’s what I tell him.’ She laughed shakily. Lily had heard her say that before.
‘You look better than you did the other day,’ Lily told her. That was true, but it was clear that she was still far from well. ‘I shall miss you, Edith,’ she went on. ‘You’ve been a real good friend to me, an’ I can’t thank you enough, you and Alf, for what you’re doing for us now.’
Edith’s eyes misted with tears. ‘Just keep an eye on our Audrey, will you, while you’re in Middlebeck? Tell her that we love her and we’ll be seeing her real soon…’
Thanks to Alf, the plans for Lily’s departure went ahead like clockwork. As he had said, there was no immediate rush to catch a train, and so they boarded one in the late morning. Alf insisted on being there to help with the luggage and to find seats for Lily and the children. He was his own boss at work, he assured her, and they would have to manage without him for an hour or two. The train was even more crowded than the one the previous day had been, but they managed to squeeze into a corner of a compartment filled with servicemen who willingly budged up to make room.
Alf kissed her cheek. ‘Chin up, Lily,’ he said. ‘Let us know how you get on. Edith’ll miss you. You’re a good friend.’
‘And so are you, Alf,’ she replied, very touched by his concern for her. ‘One o’ t’ best friends I’ve ever had…’ She watched him waving as the train moved off, then he turned and walked away, a dapper little man in a dark overcoat and bowler hat, carrying a rolled umbrella.
They ate their sandwiches and Lily looked out at the now familiar scenery. It was incredible to think she was making the same journey again, only twenty-four hours after the first one. The children dozed on and off, growing restless as they neared their destination. The telegram which Alf had sent, to the Reverend and Mrs Fairchild, had read, CRISIS AT HOME. ARRIVING BACK IN MIDDLEBECK THREE O’ CLOCK THURSDAY DECEMBER 21ST. LILY. That was allowing time in case the train should be delayed. She did not doubt that someone would meet her, most probably Patience again. But she was beginning to worry that she was being a nuisance. Supposing it wasn’t convenient… Oh dear, she did so hope that she had made the right decision…
Patience was not on the platform when she alighted, but Luke, the rector, was there, and with him there was a man she had not seen before; a grey-haired man in a tweed jacket with a cheerful ruddy face. Luke stepped forward to greet her.
‘Lily… Hello again. We’re so pleased you’ve decided to come.’
Lily nodded. ‘Yes…there’s been a problem…’
‘Yes, I understand,’ replied Luke. ‘There will be plenty of time to tell us about it later. We’re just glad that you’re here.’ He turned to the other man. ‘This is Archie Tremaine,’ he laughed. ‘Sometimes known as the squire.’
Archie held out his hand. ‘How do you do…Mrs Bragg, I believe? But I hope I may call you Lily?’ She nodded, feeling her hand enclosed in a firm grasp. She had guessed who this man might be, but she was too overwhelmed to speak.
‘Come along, all of you,’ he said. ‘You two are Joanie and Jimmy, aren’t you? I’ve heard all about you. Now then, I’ve got my shooting brake outside. And…do you know what? You’re all coming to live at my house!’