Hannah walked into 7 Quayside Street with an armful of parcels. Janet looked up from her sewing machine at the kitchen table. They stared at each other. Hannah put the parcels down on the table, nervous of the welcome she would receive.
‘Hello, Aunty Janet.’
‘Hannah.’ Janet pushed back her chair and her eyes filled with tears. ‘I knew you’d come to see me.’
Hannah ran to her and they hugged each other tightly. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been for so long.’ She kissed her aunt’s cheek. ‘How are you and Uncle Roy, Jowan and Ned?’
‘Oh, we’re all right.’ Janet went to the teapot. ‘They haven’t had hardly any luck with the herring, a very poor season for everyone so far. Be lovely to have them home again on Christmas Eve. You’ll come back and see them soon? Jowan in particular has been missing you.’
Hannah wondered if Janet was trying to make her feel guilty, but her aunt was smiling tearfully as she put cups and saucers on the table. ‘I’ve brought you all a Christmas present,’ Hannah said. ‘Jowan’s is a book about the stars. The man in the shop said it was a comprehensive one so he should be able to learn all he wants from it.’
‘That’s kind of you. The boy’s always looking up at the sky with that telescope Leah brought from Roscarrock for him. We’ve got a present for you. I was going to ask Leah to pass it on to you. I’m so glad you’re here so I can give it to you myself.’ Janet took a flat box in holly wrapping paper out of the dresser cupboard. Hannah thanked her and kissed her again. ‘How are you then, Hannah?’ Janet viewed her with a mother’s critical eye. ‘You look a bit pale. Are you eating properly? Not that you’re in the least skinny. Are you sleeping well?’ Janet looked embarrassed. ‘What I mean is, have you got over all that robbery business? And me upsetting you?’
With her emotions all mixed up about leaving Cornwall, wondering exactly what her new life with Mrs Opie and the baby would be like, perhaps never seeing her family or Daniel again, and her raw feelings for Matt, Hannah hadn’t in fact been sleeping or eating properly lately. Of course she hadn’t lost any weight, in fact she was finding her clothes were getting too tight round the middle. She couldn’t mention the baby although she would have liked to talk to Janet about it, but she was sure her aunt would only go running to Matt the moment the Misty moored and that would just complicate things.
‘There’s nothing to worry about, Aunty Janet,’ she said cheerfully as she took Ginger the cat on to her lap and stroked him. She didn’t want Janet to feel guilty about the day her nagging had brought on the faint. That wouldn’t be fair. ‘I’ve just been very concerned about Mrs Opie, that’s all.’
‘You’re very fond of Mrs Opie, aren’t you?’
Hannah detected a hurt note in her aunt’s voice. ‘Yes, she’s been very good to me.’
‘You won’t stay away from us for so long again, will you?’ Janet pleaded. It had broken her heart that Hannah had kept out of the village. Prim had blamed Feena Opie, but Janet had argued that it had been her own family who had driven Hannah away.
‘I’ll come again soon after Christmas,’ Hannah promised. How long it would be before she came again after that she couldn’t say but she made her mind up there and then that somehow she would come back to Porthellis regularly, at least to see Janet, and bring her child with her. ‘I’ve brought a present with me for Mum and Josh… and Father. I’ll see Sarah, Naomi and Lizzie before I go today and ask one of them to pass them on.’
‘There’s no need,’ Janet said, looking out of the kitchen window at the sound of approaching steps. ‘Your mother and Josh are coming now.’
‘I’m glad you and Mother have made it up,’ Hannah said, putting Ginger back in his basket and feeling even more nervous at facing her mother.
‘We have,’ Janet said sadly, ‘but things aren’t the same between us.’
Prim let out a gasp of shock at seeing Hannah and Hannah did likewise to see Josh trailing into the room behind her. Her eldest brother, big and tall and as dark as ever, was like a frightened child, holding on to their mother’s coat, his Spargo good looks gone and replaced by an imbecilic stare and drool and a persistent twitch under his left eye.
‘Hannah’s come with Christmas presents,’ Janet said quickly, to break the icy atmosphere Prim had brought with her.
Prim glared at Hannah. ‘If you’ve brought anything for me then you can take it back to Roscarrock with you. I’ve finished with you, Hannah Spargo.’
‘Mum!’ Hannah protested, reaching out beseeching hands to her.
‘I think you stopped thinking of me as your mother a long time ago,’ Prim said tartly, then added bitterly, ‘You can speak to your brother if you like, or rather what your other brother left of him.’
It was hard for Hannah to sort out her feelings for Josh. He’d deserved the beating Mitch had given him but to see him like this, his mind damaged beyond repair, his life as good as over at the age of twenty-eight, was heartrending. He sat in the chair Prim had led him to, gazing uncomprehendingly into space, making strange muttering noises. She said, ‘Hello, Josh,’ but he didn’t respond and she couldn’t tell if he heard her. He certainly didn’t recognise her.
‘In case you’re thinking otherwise,’ Prim said harshly, ‘I don’t feel bitter towards Mitch. Josh should never have done what he did to that maid, but it’s not only him who’s suffering the consequences, I am too. I’ll have an idiot child tied to me for the rest of my life. He follows me everywhere I go, afraid to let me out of his sight. I don’t get a minute’s peace from him. I’ve moved out of the bedroom I shared with your father and have to sleep in the room with him.’ Prim looked at Josh, his head lolling to the side, saliva trickling down his chin from the corner of his twisted mouth, as if she loathed him. It made Hannah’s blood run cold. Prim went on, ‘I would have left your rotten, evil father after Mitch went if it hadn’t been for him. With Mitch gone, the girls married and leading their own lives and you having deserted me, I had no more ties. Leah can look after herself – she could go and live in at Roscarrock too for all I care. All my adult life I’ve worked and suffered because of the Spargos and now I can’t get away from the man I hate with all my heart because of his equally rotten son.’
Hannah was shaken to the soul by the pure venom in her mother’s words and the extent of her self-pity. She sat down, gazing sightlessly at the floor, tears of hopelessness searing her eyes. She wished she had not seen her mother today but it reinforced her desire to go away with Mrs Opie.
It was some moments before she felt Janet’s hand on her shoulder. ‘She’s gone, Hannah. I’m sorry it happened but it’s just as well you know how she feels.’
Hannah stayed another hour with Janet, both trying hard to talk and behave normally, but Hannah was glad to put her hat and coat back on and leave. She left the presents for her father, Josh and her mother with Janet in case Prim changed her mind and decided to accept them, and called on Sarah, Naomi and Lizzie in turn. The few minutes she spent with each of them were a little easier; she was interested to learn how their pregnancies were progressing, each of them at a different stage, Lizzie’s baby due first in March. Envying them their settled lives, she wondered how they would react when they knew she would provide their offspring with a new little cousin.
As she walked up Porthkilt Hill she hoped she wouldn’t meet Miss Peters. The tiny old woman’s sharp eye and tongue were the last things she wanted to face, but the person she met made her feel far worse. Mrs Penney was on her way down to the bakehouse.
‘It’s good to see you again, Hannah,’ she said as graciously as Mrs Opie would have done.
‘Hello, Mrs Penney. Happy Christmas to you.’ Hannah fell into an embarrassed silence, unable to think of anything else to say.
Mrs Penney had something to say. ‘Will you be coming to chapel on Christmas Day?’
‘Um, no, I don’t think so.’
‘Will you be seeing Matt at all?’
It would tear her in two to see Matt. Part of her wanted to throw her arms round his neck and implore him to take her back, to tell him about their baby, to be with him for ever, but she didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, and another future beckoned her. Gulping back the painful lump in her throat, she murmured, ‘No. Wish him a happy Christmas for me please.’ Then she hastened on her way.
Mrs Opie had arranged for Greg to take her to and collect her from the top of the village hill, saying she shouldn’t exert herself unduly in the cold in her condition. She had also exhorted her grandson to keep a close eye on Hannah and go down into the village and fetch her if she was a minute late. When Hannah saw the car she broke into a run.
Greg got out of the car and met her. ‘Take it easy, Hannah, you’ll fall over and do yourself an injury running so fast.’ He saw at once she was distressed and put her gently in the front passenger seat.
‘They haven’t upset you again, have they?’ he asked sourly, getting in beside her. ‘And at Christmas of all times.’
‘It’s not that.’ She could no longer hold back the tears.
‘What then?’ He put his arm round her. ‘What is it?’
She couldn’t speak and he pulled her into his arms. Hannah sobbed her heart out wretchedly, soaking his coat and clinging to him as if she would drown if he let her go. When the worst of her terrible loneliness had been purged and the whirling storm in her mind had calmed down to a gentler sea of emotion, she pulled away from him.
‘Can you tell me what’s the matter?’ he said softly.
‘H-have you… ever been in a position… when you didn’t know… what to do, Mr Greg?’
‘A few times.’ He stroked her arm. ‘What you need is a good stiff drink. I’ve got a drop of brandy in here.’ He reached across her to the glove compartment. ‘Here, take a few sips of this.’
He held the miniature bottle of brandy to her trembling lips and Hannah allowed a few drops to burn into her mouth. She swallowed it with difficulty but welcomed the warming it gave her churning stomach. She pushed the bottle away. ‘Thanks… I’m all right now.’
‘I don’t suppose you can tell me what upset you but I think you should talk to Grandma. Can’t be anything she can’t fix up.’
‘She knows all about it,’ Hannah said, gazing out of the windscreen at the familiar lane and hedges that led past Porthellis, wondering if she could ever steel herself to take the route down into the village again despite her earlier determination to visit Janet regularly. Mrs Opie was ‘fixing up’ part of her problem but Hannah couldn’t tell her grandson that. ‘Can we go home now, Mr Greg?’
When they were carefully taking the narrow bends of Turn-A-Penny Lane, she said, ‘Please don’t tell Mrs Opie I was crying. I don’t want her to worry or spoil Christmas.’
‘Okay, if that’s what you want.’ He glanced at her, his grey eyes warm and soft and full of concern. ‘I suppose Christmas is the time for feeling extra emotional over our troubles. I know we didn’t hit it off at first, Hannah, but I want you to know you can always talk to me.’
‘Thank you.’ In any other circumstances she wouldn’t have asked the question that had been on her mind for some time but her inner pain gave her boldness and he had been so kind to her. ‘I know I shouldn’t bring it up but I’d like to know if you are in love with Leah.’
‘As you’ve asked, yes, I am,’ he replied and a broad smile spread across his fair features. ‘I know you’re concerned about her and that’s only right and fair, she is your younger sister and as you have pointed out to me, Leah’s not at all worldly. I was attracted to her naivety and innocence at first but my feelings for her have grown. I adore her and can’t imagine living without her. We’re going to tell Grandma in the New Year, after Nurse Collins has gone. I hope one of your parents will sign the consent form so we can get married and I hope you’ll give us your blessing, Hannah.’
‘I will, if you’re sure Leah loves you.’
‘There’s no doubt about that or I wouldn’t have made my feelings plain to her.’
‘Then I wish you all the happiness in the world. You’re lucky to know exactly what you want.’