DERRICK WAITED IN the garage and a car, a Geo Metro that looked like a red jelly bean on wheels, pulled up to the curb in front of the house. Ben walked up the driveway and met Derrick at the open garage door.
“Hey man,” Ben said with a handshake and fist bump. “Show me the amplifier.”
Derrick pursed his lips, the pain in his hand rearing its head. He led Ben into the garage and he whistled. “Nice setup,” he said, appraising Dustin’s drum set.
“Those belong to our drummer,” Derrick said.
“You guys a trio?” Ben asked.
“Yeah,” Derrick said.
“Respect, man. Some of the greatest bands of all time are three-pieces. The Police, Rush, The Bee Gees.”
“The Bee Gees?” Derrick asked.
“Yeah, dude. The Bee Gees. Wrote some of the most amazing melodies ever created.”
“I need to start listening to more music,” Derrick said. He couldn’t imagine someone who looked like Ben, with his beard and long hair to listen to The Bee Gees. He looked more like a Metallica guy.
“Like I told you back at Sherman’s, the best thing you can do is listen to as much music as possible. Do you sing?”
“No, our bassist is the singer.”
“Nice, dude! Like Rush. I like it.”
“Thanks,” Derrick said. He pointed at the Fender amplifier on the ground. “There it is,” he said.
Ben knelt in front of the amplifier and examined it. “Fender Champion. Great little amplifier.”
“Thanks,” Derrick said. “My stepdad bought it for me.”
“Awesome. My stepdad never bought me anything,” Ben said. “He always told me I was wasting my time playing guitar. That I needed to get out there and learn a trade or a skill or something.” As he spoke, he turned the amplifier over and sniffed the back of it, near the power plug. “He was probably right.”
“My stepdad has been pretty supportive,” Derrick said.
“That’s a blessing, my man. Cherish that. Not everyone has supportive parents.”
Ben turned the amplifier in his hands, checking out the switches. He powered it on and played with the control knobs. “It powers on, that’s good. Doesn’t smell burned up. You probably damaged the speaker though. I can take it back home, crack it open and see if I can fix it.”
“I really appreciate that,” Derrick said.
Ben powered off the amp, unplugged it and lugged it out to his car. He placed it reverently in the passenger seat and turned back to Derrick. “Give me your number. I’ll call you when I have it fixed.”
Derrick told him the number as he scratched it onto a slip of paper that he held against the hood of the car.
“Alright little dude. I’ll get it back to you as quick as I can.”
“Thank you again,” Derrick said. “And thank you for coming to get it.”
“No worries, man. I have been in your shoes. Glad I get to help a little brother.” He waved as he got into his Geo Metro. As he drove off, the engine in the little car buzzed like a weed eater.
Derrick went back inside the house and Cassandra stood at the door. “Who was that?” she asked.
“That’s Ben. I blew my amplifier. I met him at the guitar store. He’s going to fix it for me,” he said.
“He’s a hottie,” she said.
“God, can I have just one friend that you’re not going to make out with?” Derrick said, immediately perturbed.
“I already apologized for that,” she said with her trademark eyeroll.
“I’m going to listen to music on the roof,” he said.
“I’m going to make tacos,” she said, turning toward the kitchen.
“Cool. I’ll eat later.”
♪ ♪ ♪
The nights were getting colder, and as Derrick sat on the roof, he could see his breath puff out in front of him, momentary white clouds that dissipated with the next one. In his Walkman, he had the mixtape he’d made the day before from songs he’d spent all evening downloading and transferring to tape. The program on the computer that let him download the songs had opened up an entire catalog of music that he’d been wanting to listen to and create a mixtape with. He’d even found some rare Pearl Jam songs that he’d only heard once or twice before.
He’d also made a tape for Haley. It was full of his favorite songs, the ones that made him think of her. He patiently waited for her on the roof so he could give it to her. Toying with the cassette between his fingers, spinning it on its axis, he imagined her joy at listening to it, knowing that every time he heard Vertical Horizon, or Incubus or Tal Bachman, he thought of her. The way she smiled at him, the way she sat close to him on this rooftop, staring up at the stars together and talking about life, god, death and family. On these rooftop nights, it was just them. And he was starting to feel things.
For his entire life, girls existed, but he never noticed them. And then, one day, they were undeniable. Overnight, they went from someone’s sister, or someone’s cousin, to someone he wanted to be around constantly. An entire population of kids he’d gone to school with his entire childhood were suddenly something much more, yet undefinable.
Haley was on another level, though. She was gorgeous, and smart, and down to earth, and sweet, and all these things that he would daydream about when he thought about the perfect girl.
And she would spend these evenings, just like this one, right here with him. Even if he’d never met AJ, even if they’d never become friends, she’d made him forget all about Clearwater all by herself.
A rustling in the grass below him made Derrick snap out of his daydream, and he leaned over the ledge of the roof. Haley was down there, her face framed between a hoodie and a headband that covered her ears.
“Help me up,” she said, and he did.
She sat next to him, and he could immediately tell that her body language was off. Hostile.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“You’re what’s wrong. I can’t believe you did that today. I thought about not coming up here, but I needed to tell you how I felt,” she said.
Derrick’s heart fell into his stomach.
“I was just taking up for my friend,” he said. “Did you see what Ty did to him? AJ’s got a black eye.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m not excusing what Ty did, but you attacking him like that was stupid. He’s not a bad guy, he just has some issues at home.”
Derrick nearly did a double-take. Was she really standing up for the guy who made out with another girl at her own party? And then beat up AJ? Were they even talking about the same Ty Anderson?
“How can you even say that?” he asked. “I mean, have you seen AJ?”
“I’m not excusing him, Derrick. But, Ty is dealing with a lot of stuff, too.” She paused for a moment. “His mom and dad separated at the beginning of the summer. His dad came out to her, and now his dad lives in Dallas with his new boyfriend.”
“Whoa.” Derrick stared out at the sky in front of them, the stars showing themselves the more he stared out. “But, still,” he said. “That doesn’t give him a free pass to be a dick.”
“You’re right. And it doesn’t give you a free pass to be one either,” she said haughtily. “And Coach Vargas told me you’ve been suspended from the team.”
“Is that so bad? I’m not any good anyway,” he said.
“Yes you are! And that doesn’t even matter. Your spot was pretty much locked in for next semester, and now all our hard work is just thrown away. Once you get on Coach Vargas’s bad side, good luck getting back into the good.”
Derrick shrugged. “I never wanted to play tennis in the first place,” he said. “I just wanted to try something new.”
“And how is that working out for you?” Haley said. She was nearly yelling at him at this point, and she worked to keep her voice down. “I like being your friend. I like getting to hang out with you on trips and after school. But, I don’t want to if you’re going to do stupid stuff.”
She’d said friend. All his daydreaming of her, of wanting to be more, he suddenly realized that all he would be is the boy next door. “Ty cheated on you! At your own party!” Derrick was indignant, both at Ty and the prospect of being just Haley’s friend. “Why are you so upset because someone finally stood up to him?”
Haley started crying. “Because I never thought you would stoop down to his level. I thought you were better than him. But, no. You’re just like every other boy out there, thinking that the only way to solve problems is to beat them out of someone else. Well that’s not the kind of friends I want.”
“Haley…” Derrick started, but she cut him off.
“Coming up here tonight was a mistake,” she said.
“No, it’s not. It’s okay. You can be mad at me. I get it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the tape he’d made her. “I made this for you last night.” He was hoping it would be an adequate peace offering, something that would replace the anger that she had for him. “It’s a mixtape of songs that make me think of you.”
She took it from him and looked at the label that he’d written in his ineloquent cursive. “This is really sweet, Derrick, but it doesn’t change what you did. I just thought you were better than that.”
He was flabbergasted. “I am better than him! I would never cheat on you, or bully other people. I would be a better—” He wanted to say I would be a better boyfriend to you, but he stopped himself.
“I didn’t say better than him. Just, better than making those kinds of choices. You attacked him,” she countered. “That’s what I can’t get over. It’s that you decided to be just like him.”
“Whatever,” Derrick said, no longer interested in arguing his case.
“I’m just going to go back inside,” Haley said. She stood up and made her way down to the shed where she’d jump down onto the grass below. “Thanks for the tape.”
“Yeah.”
She left him up there alone, and he sat for a little longer, pulling his headphones on and turning up the volume on his Walkman, drowning out his frustrations.