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The abruptness of our goodbye had been like a kick to the chest. With our future so limited, I had coveted every second and had counted on the trip to Città to see me through the lonely years ahead.
Would I ever see him again? Would we get a chance to say goodbye properly, or had that kiss been it? He’d promised to see me before he left for Earth, but I was a realist. Orders were orders. C-Force assignments superseded personal relationships. Since his assignment involved the crash, which was safeguarding my life, I could hardly fault him for not traveling to Città with me.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. My throat thickened with tears.
I watched from the rear window until Bane became an indistinguishable dot in a sea of white before turning around in my seat.
“I’m sorry,” Stephanie said. “Duty sucks sometimes.”
I nodded and dashed away a tear, not trusting myself to speak.
“Especially when one is a double agent,” she said. “You get pulled from both sides. It’s a tricky balance.”
Bane had a hard job. I needed to suck it up. Message received.
“Have you two been seeing each other long?” she asked.
“No, not long.” I was reluctant to admit we’d only “been seeing each other” since yesterday. I’d look like a crazy stalker nut case to be so crushed over a one-night stand. However, Bane and I had circled each other for almost two years and shared the common experience of being outsiders inside Jodane’s world. A bond had formed even before I’d learned he was one of the good guys. In hindsight, I could see some of my trepidation hadn’t been fear but misunderstood chemistry.
“You like him.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“He likes you, too.”
I twisted my mouth. “The kiss was a bit of a giveaway.”
“No, it’s more than that. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. I’ve never seen him look at anybody like that.”
My heart hitched. She intended her observation to be supportive and kind, but it reminded me of what I was losing. “Have you worked with Bane long?” I asked.
“Since C-Force Academy. Tack, Axel, Bane, and I were in the same graduating class.”
There was a lot I didn’t know about my Geo-Tech informant. I’d had no idea she was C-Force until I arrived to meet with Breeze, and she’d been on guard at the reception desk. In the park, Stephanie’s face had been concealed by a hat, mask, and goggles. And a wig. A few strands of purple hair had stuck out from beneath the cap.
Having never seen her before that day, the purple wig might have thrown me off, and I might have mistaken her for Kaylee, who had purple hair, except I had recognized the voice. “You don’t look old enough to have been in the same class as them.” I would have put her in her thirties, while the men were clearly in their forties.
“Thank you!” She grinned and adjusted the boxy jacket she wore over a pair of dark tactical pants. “I was the youngest cadet in the group, and, once the polymer replaces your own skin, you don’t wrinkle.”
Wonderful. So, if Bane and I had been able to stay together, he’d remain vital and handsome, and I’d age into a wrinkled hag. I don’t care. I’ll take it!
“Do you know what’s happening at the crash site? Why Quint sent Bane?” What could have been “suspicious”? Were authorities getting worked up because they’d determined the crash was no accident—which is what we wanted—or had they discovered there was no body—which would not be good.
“No, but if I did, I couldn’t tell you. You don’t have appropriate clearance.”
“I’m the reason he staged the crash!” Despite her denials, I sensed she knew far more than she let on.
“I’m sorry. I’m not permitted to tell you anything.”
“That never stopped you before,” I said, irked at her reticence.
She shot me a side-eye glance. “Are you sure about that?”
Meaning, there was a lot she could have told me but hadn’t? I didn’t doubt it. I’d been hit with one surprise after another. Apparently, I was a terrible judge of character. Noble public servant Kathryn Jodane turned out to be soulless and morally bankrupt. I’d pegged Bane as a coldhearted killer when he’d been one of the C-Force good guys. My informant Stephanie hadn’t been working for me but for C-Force. SEW Solutions, a paragon of environmentalism, had been dumping hazardous waste.
Even sand wasn’t sand.
“No, I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
Stephanie looked sheepish. “I’m sorry I had to mislead you. I wasn’t at liberty to reveal my identity.”
“It’s all right. I understand.” I did understand—intellectually. However, I felt snookered. Like I was the only one not in on the joke. Hell, I might have been the butt of the joke!
I’d considered myself smart and savvy to have cultivated a Geo-Tech insider to leak me info, which I’d dutifully passed on to the president. Instead, C-Force had been using me as a conduit, probably to feed Jodane misinformation.
My ego smarted, but my conscience was relieved C-Force had been the one in control.
“Are we good?” she asked.
I nodded. “We’re good.”
The homogeneity of the dunes made it hard to judge time and distance. One white rolling hill of sand looked like every other white rolling hill of sand. No trees, no plants, no rock formations, no rivers. The few landmarks had been erected by humans. The five cities, the scattering of way stations, the skeletal windmill forests, sprawling solar farms, and the toxic waste dump were the only distinguishing features on an otherwise monotonous planet.
Peering out the window, I hummed what I now thought of as The Sajave Song, singing the lyrics in my head. I can see clearly now the storm is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dust clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a calm, calm Sajave day...
I can live for now, the danger’s gone...
“You have a nice voice,” Stephanie said.
“Thank you.”
It’s gonna be a calm, calm Sajave day...
It was calm out there. Besides clear sky and the lack of spinning dust devils, there wasn’t a single other RTC. Since all vehicles had been grounded during the storm, I expected more traffic, people eager to get on their way. We’d spotted a few vehicles immediately after leaving the way station, but I hadn’t see any in quite a while.
“Not a lot of traffic today,” I commented. “We haven’t passed anybody in a long time.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “This is far enough.”
“Far enough for what?”
She tapped into the control panel and landed the RTC between two massive dunes.
“What’s going on? Why are we stopping?”
“Thought we might want to stretch our legs.”
I peered outside. The dunes rose taller than the vehicle. Hiking uphill would be a hard slog. “It doesn’t look very walkable. You go ahead. I’ll wait here.”
Then it struck me. Maybe walk was a euphemism. “Do you have to pee?” I leaned over the seat for my bag. “I have a hand cream jar that’s almost empty. You shouldn’t pee on the sand... because...” I trailed off, recalling how Stephanie had suggested annihilating the alien as a solution to the colonization problems. Her attitude had seemed out of sync with C-Force’s reputation. “Peeing on the sand wouldn’t be right,” I stated, and turned around.
The jar fell from my fingers.
She had a blaster pointed at my chest. “Get out of the RTC.”
My eyes were glued to the weapon. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.
“I’m not going to tell you again. Get out of the RTC.”
