when i was 19 i bought a dissection kit
all the instruments in their places
safely strapped down
the case was black leather
inside the red velvet was breathing
i took its pulse
careful not to touch the instruments
bits and pieces of my face were on them
the case is empty now
i threw it out
afraid to think
where all those instruments had gone
but a woman needs to know such things
a woman must keep house better than that
i don't remember which one went where
i swallowed several eagerly
some i misplaced during operations
i had to leave the room so often
to change diapers wash dishes
rock babies to sleep
even if i turned the light off and shut the door
i had to leave the incision open
there was never enough time to finish
and when i came back
i would find someone else had been there
removed things without asking
sewn up the incision
another instrument missing
and the rest i'm not sure
sometimes i'd catch my children
playing with them
and i would put them away
out of reach
but they'd always turn up
under the piano behind the stove
or mixed in with the knives and forks
biding their time
growing arms
and legs